Dear Granny Smith,
I can't believe you went on a road trip and river rafting without me! You-you said we would do that one day, and this is what happens?!
Sorry, sorry. I might have had a rough day. The nobles brought their A-game in stupid by suggesting a plan to counter unions by forming a union themselves. You know, because their rights as bosses are infringed upon by their pesky workers.
That motion was super denied. Like, really hard, especially when I pointed out that their job isn't to make their worker's lives' worse, but to encourage them to KEEP working. Pissing off the workers only ensures in less getting done, and they should know that. Should. Gods.
So I cracked open a bottle of Pink Moosecato and I... might've downed the whole thing. In on--*hic*--one swig. It's a good thing my quill spell's low maintenance and easy to keep going, because my real writing is awful. It's so bad researchers at Canterlot Academy thought it needed a cipher when I sent them a letter asking them for student records. Pricks.
Then I read your letter detailing your crazy adventures with Pinkie, and how she's a pear it-a parrot... she's a new family member. I'm sure Applejack is happy she's got a relative so close by that's also a devoted baker--turnovers will probably saturate the town in a month.
Your road trip with Pinkie had to be nothing short of chaotic though. I mean, wow, your cart breaking down, the Cave of fun seek-sunbeam anull--UNSPEAKABLE Horrors, and a waterfall rapid ride? She probably got plenty of kicks from that--your thoughtfulness in keeping her entertained along the way with eldritch horrors and nightmare scenarios is something I should have thought of ages ago.
Still, I would be veeery careful, Gran. You've seen just a fraction of what she can do, but I-I know what she's capable of. Now that she's part of the family, she'll probably paint your barn pink one night and say it's just a new coat, a personal touch. But really, it-it's her way, her WAY of marking her territory. And I hate it.
It won't go away. Can't scrape it, can't paint over it--I mean, you-you can, but it WON'T last long. The next day, it'll be pink again with a note: "You need more pink in here, so I added a bit more!" And then she painted the bathroom for good measure. I haven't painted my closet or the bathroom again since that note.
Also, some Pinkists might stop by from time to time now that you're a scone-a soak... related with their leader. You can shoo them off with a spray bottle of water, or tell Pinkie if she stops by. I'm certain she'll have a way or two to cease their actions if you kindly ask her about it.
Beyond these small issues, Pinkie should be a bun derp full-wander... good addition to your family. I wish you the best of luck in keeping your home red, white, and slightly pink as possible.
Friends Forever,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Extend my regards to Goldie and her hundred cats for me, and let her know that I'm sending over that stack of books she asked for, the ones about cat care and how to make your home not smell like a dingy kennel.
I wish to extend thanks to videocrazy for a small edit to a certain name in this letter.
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The Queen in Pink is easily entertained, but she always appreciates those who go the extra mile.
I eagerly anticipate the letter form s5e5 i should be epic
5905444
Yeeeaaah, I saw the literal nuclear winter. So did Tia.
She is not happy.
5905457
So... is the Pink Moosecasto another one of Pinkie's territorial marks or am I reading too much into it?
I'm surprised she didn't mention the SlenderPony that stalks the woods around Golden Delicious's home
I can just picture Granny Smith warding off the Pinkists with a spray gun.
5905426 and even more for those who go the extra smile...
I'll just go now...
Can't wait for the Pinkie Pride letter
Fear the Pink, everypony! Fear it!
"Why is the barn gray?"
"Oh, just making things more comfortable for my sister Maud Pie!"
******
Also, Pinkie Pie is NOT related the the apple family, that was never confirmed, at most, an Apple and a Pie used to be best friends long ago.
5906282
I'm fully aware that it isn't confirmed, and that none can say with absolute certainty that Pinkie is indeed related by blood. But the point of the episode was that family doesn't need to be bound by blood to be considered family, much in the way Tia has Cadance as her adopted niece. Not bound by blood, but bound by genuine TLC.
That's cheesy as hell, probably, but so long as the Apples consider her part of the family, there's little to dispute here, as far as I'm concerned.
. Celestia should've accompanied that Moosecato with pizza
5906282
5906466
Friends are family you didn't know you had
I feel like an opportunity was missed for Celestia to get Applejack's nane right, just this once, while drunk.
5906761 Agreed. This would be the ONLY time she should have gotten it right, too.
5906761
You know, you're right. I completely missed that opportunity.
So why should it remain one? As of this post, I made that change and threw in a little credit at the end to ye. Thanks for pointin that out!
m.quickmeme.com/img/47/478bb387996c125cf5acfd0547106bc01e0746e86154b592ea3a1255c0380db2.jpg
Hilarious, as usual.
Wait.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRg1uc5okFrDFkKQvrPx5DkDCA_GBdDyjEiNP04ItgWxICYGz3o
She didn't misspelled the name!
Isn't that just how it goes, you constantly get someone's name wrong only to get completely s#!^faced and suddenly every word that comes out of your mouth BUT their name is wrong.
Drunklestia is best-lestia
Celestia, you're drunk
]---[ Of the many glorious duties upheld by Pinkists the oddest of all may very well be the need to impose pink onto everything and everyone in sight. If you have something of a different color they feel compelled to paint it pink. Or dye it pink. Many have speculated that this may come from a form of brainwashing in the Cult in which they are surrounded by pink until they become wholly dependent upon the color. Much like someone so used to being surrounded by music and sound finding a lack of music and sound disconcerting. ]---[
- The Cult The Pink and The Truth by Blueberry Dream.
Of course it'd take her being drunk to get her name right.
If she does this from one bottle of wine, I'm going to have to introduce her to the wonders of one hundred and fifty barrels of Applejack's finest hard cider.
No, I'm not an alcoholic.
No, I'm not taking something from that Berry Punch alcoholism story posted today.
Yes, I am probably rambling drunkenly.
I'm gonna regret this tomorrow.