Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Dragons aren't Shy, Part 2

Twilight Sparkle,

I'm beginning to wonder if you actually read my letters, or your eyeballs just glaze over, twisting and turning my words into something I didn't say like a paparazzi pony. Does most of this letter just look like a giant page of ellipses to you?

Whatever the case, you visited the dragon and corrected the problem without causing another incident due to one of your friends. I... ugh, thank you for this.

In case you didn't pick up on the context in my last letter, we're dealing with the remnants of the dragon smoke right now in Canterlot. Pegasi are pushing it away from the city as I write this, beating their wings as fast as they can.

Luna's being far more effective, though. Her shouting blasts the smoke away in massive clouds. "BEGONE, FUMES OF FUNK AND FOULNESS! AWAY WITH THEE, CURSED CLOUDS OF CALAMITY!" are a few choice lines. She's having too much fun with this, but the clouds are redirecting towards the Badlands thanks to her chords of steel, so I can't complain.

That probably won't have any negative repercussions outside of ruining everyone's hearing in town for a week or so. That includes mine, and I'm wearing earmuffs. Be lucky you're not here right now.

Ah, yes, one last thing. Fluttershy talked down the dragon, right? That's actually pretty impressive, so I enclosed a gold scale in this letter. Give it to her and let her know she's the town's official Dragon Watch, and that she better do a good job.

Because if not, she'll be fired.

Love,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[Meep the macho]

And then Fluttershy became a badass in ponyville.

[user123]

5560823
and then she finds armor.

[Mad Maudlin]

Because if not, she'll be fired.

I see what you did there.

[howard035]

I had a theory for a while that Ponyville used to have a small unit of the Royal Guard stationed there, to chase off monsters coming out of the Everfree. Then the new Mayor discovered there's this pegasus who just moved to town who can control animals, so the Mayor has the guards transferred and saves money by only paying one salary, plus the cost of a decrepit cottage next to the forest.

[Meep the macho]

5560915 And last but not least she becomes the Flutterborn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk_C1y0NxwA

[Meep the macho]

5561734 I said flutterborn not bartborn.

[user123]

5561843
ok, um... doh!
?

[Rhulain]

5561681

*inhale* Um...please...leave?

[Alex Warlorn]

Chrysalis, "Black smoke? That's it, we're invading Equestria!"

[Maxes Altho]

5561618 That makes so much sense now

[DarkPinkie]

Because if not, she'll be fired.

"Out of a canon... At the moon!"

"Yes Luna at the moon."
"What do you mean you don't want the moon to get poluted?"
"Luna, how many times do I have to tell you a canon does not have the force necesary to push anything to space, let alone the moon."

[MustacheMerlin]

she's the town's official Dragon Watch, and that she better do a good job. Because if not, she'll be fired.

Yeah, make sure to not piss off the dragons Flutters, charcoal black isn't your color.

[RainCrasher]

5594091 It all makes sense now.

[twad]

5611760

I was thinking more of "fired" by dragon.

Medium-crispy.

[aceotaku]

CHords of Steel? Is Luna....Apollo Justice? and does that make celestia....PHOENIX WRIGHT!?

[Mystical Rainboom]

Fired?
out of a cannon into the sun.

[Shadow Scryer]

… 'Fired'? If she doesn't do a good job at dealing with dragons?

[Pankrazius]

Because if not, she'll be fired.

Bwahahahahahaaahaa!

Yes - Liked and Faved. Gosh you are awesome.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Princess Celestia:

I have to admit, Luna is 20% cooler than you

Sincerely, Twilight.

P.S.: You should have seen the look on Fluttershy's face when she got that scale. She was so overjoyed that she fainted!

[ChronoMitsurugi]

5653120 out of the moon cannon. Celestia is not mean enough to use the sun cannon.

[Dragonsword35d]

5561618 Makes sense, given the general fear of the Everfree back in the beginning.

[Pinklestia]

5769660

Yeah, she would do that.

[North]

CHORDS OF STEEL!!

[______1]

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/216x146/21/d5/c1/21d5c17f8b5e15f130f3269ef8451dbc.jpg

[Neon Star]

>>aceotaku CHords of Steel... CHS? Anyone, Anyone?

[Cantwriteforshit]

Chords of steel eh?
I AM THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT AND I'M FIIIINE!!!!!!!!

[StormyVenture]

I'm beginning to wonder if you actually read my letters, or (if? do?) your eyeballs just glaze over, twisting and turning my words into something I didn't say like a paparazzi pony

Also, paparazzi is plural and pony is not; according to Google the singular form is paparazzo.

... like one of those paparazzi ponies

?

[Bojack H]

"She will be fired...out of a cannon......into the sun"

[Cheesejellycommander4]

7145077 I guess you learn something new everyday. I thought paparazzi was the same in both forms, like moose and sheep.

[MS-09 DOM]

"BEGONE, FUMES OF FUNK AND FOULNESS! AWAY WITH THEE, CURSED CLOUDS OF CALAMITY!"

[GarrusVakarian]

Because if not, she'll be fired.

I see what you did there

media.giphy.com/media/11eFVy684x9uGk/giphy.gif

[Cuber Snuggles]

So Spike twist the letters to not hurt Twilight's feelings? I am both impressed and agitated. I like this Celestia and she shouldn't be censored!

[The Shadow]

Because if not, she'll be fired.

I WAS going to do a cannon joke, but it seems I was already beaten to the punch.

5561734

More like....

: Fus Ro Yay!!!!

[Dashie04]

I forsee nothing going wrong with Luna’s loud voice.