Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Bonus: Assessing a Flying Cart's Collateral Damage

Dear Twilight Velvet and Night Light,

I apologe profusely for unwillingly turning your indoor kitchen into an outdoor kitchen. Additionally, I experience much regret for smashing your authentic Chaina set hidden so expertly behind your regular plates, gravy boats, corn cob holders, and of course your mother's butter dish.

There was no possible way you could predict a soap box derby car would smash into your kitchen and ruin everything. Especially one driven by me. And another me. It’s a long story, and one I’m sure you don’t want to hear right now.

To get to the point, I wish to reimburse you for the property damage done to your kitchen to the best of my capabilities. I realize that some objects are quite irreplaceable, which again I apologize dearly for destroying. However, I humbly offer to you a selection of some of my mother’s fine Chaina, which you are free to keep and/or smash in justified retribution the same way you wrecked the cart into an unrecognizable mess.

The other me was totally joking when she demanded you suffer one million years dungeon for that, by the way. She was just emotionally distraught, having put a great deal of time and care into building that cart. I’m helping her cope with the loss there as well, but your loss takes priority right now.

Please send me a bill for the repairs at your earliest convenience. Also, if you prefer, you may involve Princess Twilight in these proceedings. I don’t see this as anything more than getting a second earful of tongue lashings for such a reckless accident, but if you believe I deserve it, I won’t protest her two bits on the matter.

My sincerest apologies once more,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Princess Luna is writing her own apology letter for crashing her cart into the second floor and trashing Night Light’s private study. Please add on the damages for that room to the bill as well. It’s all coming from the same source anyway.

Sunny? Have you picked out a new block of wood for the new cart yet?

What do you mean “I want to bake one”? You mean… baking the cart parts and assembling all of it together into something rideable?

Sunny, I’ll be blunt. This is the most ridiculous idea you’ve come up with since baking and marrying a ten-layer cake.

And I am so helping you out with this! We’re going to need frosting, tons of frosting!

Comments

[OminousBrony]

Celestia just wants a cart she can eat afterwards.

[Ororon35]

Did you see Wreck it Ralph for that last bit?

[MeadowRosePony]

Sunny? Have you picked out a new block of wood for the new cart yet?

What do you mean “I want to bake one”? You mean… baking the cart parts and assembling all of it together into something rideable?

Sunny, I’ll be blunt. This is the most ridiculous idea you’ve come up with since baking and marrying a ten-layer cake.

And I am so helping you out with this! We’re going to need frosting, tons of frosting!
I want to see this cart...

[Seether00]

Edible cart? Madness!

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

7472591 Madness?
THIS IS APPLEWOOD DERBY

[MythrilMoth]

Looks like Celestia and Sunny are having a sugar rush.

[BlueYoshi]

I can imagine the confused and shocked looks on Twilight Velvet and Night Light's faces when it turned out that it was Celestia, Luna, AND their clones who were responsible for destroying part of their house.

[Boulder]

Sunny? Have you picked out a new block of wood for the new cart yet?
What do you mean “I want to bake one”?

Me thinks Sunny ha been talking to Princess Vanellope von Schweetz
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34700000/Princess-Vanellope-Von-Schweetz-vanellope-von-schweetz-34726971-1920-808.jpg
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34700000/Princess-Vanellope-Von-Schweetz-vanellope-von-schweetz-34726908-1920-808.jpg

[grogar]

Mayor mare: dear princess your no longer allow to complain about ponyville flower-style race track since your capitol is now cover in bake good crumbs after your cart crash into canterlot biggest bakery. PS should warn you now, pinkie heading over to demand for your cart recipe.

[Boulder]

7472501 Five bucks says she doesn't share.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/661/081/7d8.png

[FanOfMostEverything]

They're going to need a lot of moon dust...

In any case, I get the feeling that Twilight Velvet is going to be laying a maternal smackdown on the princesses. She certainly has plenty of experience with fillies who have more power than wisdom.

[SilentMech]

7476353 Diaries of a Madman.

[kooarbiter]

I'm expecting them to drive any cake that those two make into the lake, for fun's sake, as long as they don't flake

[The dragon hunter]

The other me was totally joking when she demanded you suffer one million years dungeon for that, by the way.

[Cursed Quill]

Cloudsdale Circuit sounds like Sky Canyon Act 2.

[Phillips_Quickfix]

What do you mean “I want to bake one”? You mean… baking the cart parts and assembling all of it together into something rideable?

Wreck it Ralph anyone?