Dear Twilight,
I realize that you haven’t been getting much use out of your table map recently, but I’m sure there are better ways to use it than loaning it to the spa. Like tabletops games or eating meals when it’s a table, which I’m sure you’ve done at least once by now.
I knew you weren’t going to use it today since you wrote to me about your little “friendship retreat” (don’t even get me started on this silly jargon for “day off”. I’ve known this kind of language for centuries), but if you’re going to make your table that open to availability when it’s not in use, would it be fine if I borrowed it for a tea party? After it’s been spotlessly cleaned, of course.
Somepony sent me the most adorable teacup poodle today. I’m not sure who sent this little darling into my life — probably somepony that puts a lot of thought into the needs and concerns of others — but when I find out who they are, they can be my guest anytime!
Except potty training is a nightmare. Requesting TP to clean up tea pee is not the best thing to shout down the hallway for a hoofful of confusing reasons. In hindsight, naming it Flush might not have been a clever idea either.
In any case, I could use your table to treat some Saddle Arabian delegates to a cordial brunch tomorrow. And just between you and me, I hear they’re bringing an authentic genie-free magic lamp! You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to own one of those — they’re downright fantastic for storing magical energy and far less fragile and reckless to carry around than, say, a glass bottle.
Of course, there’s always the risk of rubbing it the wrong way and unleashing a massive blood-red maelstrom of hate and malice upon the world, but when has that ever happened before? Or I could just seek anger management counseling again. That’s likely a less cataclysmic option!
Anyway, if you can loan the table, I’d appreciate it greatly. I promise it’ll be intact and returned to your home by the end of the day.
It definitely won’t be soaked with tea pee.
Love,
Celestia
Oh my gosh, sister, you've got to try these nuts!I went down to the Ponyville spa today and the nice masseur there was selling his nuts on the side. He had a big sack of them set aside for personal business, and I just had to get a good look.
Yes, his nuts are bigger than you’d expect. Go on, grab some! There’s plenty of nuts for both of us.
Luna, if you love how they smell, you’ll be married to the taste.
Two at the same time?! Luna, pace yourself! Bulk’s nuts aren’t going anywhere.
Oh, did you know he sells other varieties? Glazed is tempting, but cream-filled ones are heavenly.
Great! Next time, I’ll grab his Bulky Nutsack. He says it puts a strain on his nuts sometimes, but I’m sure he can put out for us.
Page generated in 0.072 seconds
Total duration
721 users online
963,520 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Feels like you've been waiting a long time to do this.
Dem nut jokes tho
Oh gosh, this was such acorn-y entry. Well, nut my problem, I suppose.
Ah, there it is- the Nuttening
8106851
You could say that waiting to post this was driving me nuts.
Someone stop me, please
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/017/204/CaptainAmerica1_zps8c295f96.jpg
8106852 I think what you meant to say was "Deez nuts jokes tho"
.....sigh. Kind of going for low hanging fruit, aren't we?
Had a bad nutz habit so I kicked it - didn't hurt at all................... sez you
Twilight: (after reading the letter) Starlight, what did you do to the table?
Starlight: I...uh, it's not my fault! I can explain!
derpicdn.net/img/2016/3/27/1117834/large.png
It's like Celestia knew exactly what happened and is being all ironic on purpose. ("probably somepony that puts a lot of thought into the needs and concerns of others"?)
Twilight reading this be like
Celestia loves Bulk's package.
Celestia, honey, Jafar would like a few words with you. Also a climactic battle of magic.
So what next? Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls, or Alec Baldwin's Schweddy Balls?
8107038
This Fic came quickly to mind: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/370394/did-you-really-expect-me-not-to-notice
**SPITTAKE** That postscript...
Also pretty much everything ABOUT this one.
(Also, what does it say about me that the "good for storing magical energy" thing made me think of DBZ?)
8106868 I am ashamed that I understood those jokes. Nevertheless, the whole thing had me laughing my head off--this is why this story is on my "6 stars" list.
...
dear GOD those puns
Luna grabs a handful of Bulk's nuts, "AUUGH! MY NUTCART!"
That postscript was just nutty!
8107225 Don't forget a great villain song.
8108262 Well, naturally. Great villians don't just do stuff, yanno? They have to sing about what they're gonna do.
Hehe nuts if you know what I mean -wink wink -
Tia : That's not what I meant at all !
i died laughing so hard at this. The dog's still giving me looks.
Oh how did I know this was going to end with innuendo?
Probably for the same reason why I giggled when Bulk smashed his cart on Trixie.
tabletop
Aww, nuts.
8109883
No idea. Tabletop games though...