Dear Princess Twilight,
Firstly, my apologies for not sending you a letter regarding the message in the book. I was remarkably busy, well, shuffling books over so you could restock your new castle. It's a good thing I carry five copies of all but the most dated of records in case of one of your "missing book" mental breakdowns again. You made me learn the value of having backups veeery quickly, let me tell you.
I assume by now you have settled Sunset's problem on the other side of the portal. Mayor Mare made a particular note of absolutely nothing interesting happening in Ponyville over the past three days, which usually meant that something interesting happened elsewhere instead.
And no, that doesn't mean Canterlot had anything special to do, unless you count me being short on eggs as something unusual. Luna's been baking up a storm of treats ever since... gods, I still can't believe it.
Those crusaders really are going to watch over Luna's dragons.
I don't know how those three fillies did it, but they won her heart over, and now she's absolutely adamant about having them take on this incredible responsibility.
Did I object to this? Of course! The last time I let children run around my castle unattended was last year's Gifted Unicorn field trip. That ended with all of my bad expectations met, and more, even if the kids had a blast. The maids are still finding cookie crumbs, balloon scraps and paper wads leftover from Runny Nose's papier-mâché mockup of me blowing a raspberry. That last part's actually adorable, despite her nursing the glue bottle she used for it like a juice box on that trip. While my vain hopes rest in that she only used the glue in the bottle, I know far better than that.
But Luna wouldn't have any of it for those three little fillies, and like all royal stalemates between us, we had to settle it in the olden ways of Horn, Hoof, Feathers. Best two out of three.
I lost. May the gods have mercy on the castle when we're gone.
We both know there are far better alternatives than those three. You, Spike, Fluttershy, anyone from the Dragonwatch in the yellow book would have been safe bets for me, but what's done is done. Now she's making sweet treats for them upon their arrival, and I'm stuck buying eggs at the market--two dozen, please--and she might need some butter too.
Yes, a few pounds if you don't mind. Anyway, I should wrap this up. Luna will want help in the kitchen to make some of her child-friendly Sweet Dream Delights. I'll add a note suggesting they eat these before sleeping, because those are delectably soporific.
Best Regards,
Princess Celestia
No, I don't want milk. Thanks for the suggestion, though.
Membership card? What even--no, I don't have one. No, I won't sign up for it right now. Just let me buy--
Why would I want a newsletter? I don't even want the card! Can I just purchase the food, please?
Ooh, five bits off my next fruit purchase? That does sound lovely--NO, that is a distraction! Eggs and butter for now, thank you!
Page generated in 0.038 seconds
Total duration
900 users online
498,808 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Don't get tempted by the special deals! You must resist!
I enjoy all of these, but I was particularly struck by the elegance of "Horn, Hoof, Feathers". The gestures needn't even change!
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
Nursing a glue bottle? ZOMBIE CANNIBALS!
Maybe Celestia needs a gym membership.
Cadence and Luna are getting ahead of her.
That sounds like it could just be from Pinkie sneaking in all the time.
I seriously want to see a recipe book for all of Luna's creations. And Celestia's, sun muffins were mentioned a while back.
Don't let the cmc wonder the castle! Otherwise Luna is going to be busy getting rid of the nightmares from castle staff.
I do like the idea of a tribe-based RPS variant, but it gets into some uncomfortable questions when you ask which trumps what and why...
In any case, Canterlot has a decent chance of going up in flames before the next letter. We'll see how it goes.
Horn zaps Hoof. Hoof tramples Feathers. Feathers cover Horn.
6048404 Horn beats everything. Unicorn master race.
Dear Princess Celestia:
I think Horn, Hoof, Feathers is too predictable. I prefer Horn, Hoof, Feathers, Dragon, Spock.
Your former student, Sunset Shimmer.
6048503
Pretty sure you need to replace Spock with star swirl, twould make more sense
6048518
Or Wind Whistler, a.k.a. Pony Spock.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Have you heard of the Horn, Hoof, Feathers champion circuit? It really is a facinating thing to watch. The players scrutinizing each other for tells as they try and think one step ahead of the other.
The next tournament will be in a few weeks in Manehattan, and we'd be honored if you would attend our event.
Your faithful subject,
Prime Time
The last time the CMC were left alone at the castle, they let Discord out.
Even princesses are not immune to that "sign up for our member card" nonsense. Yikes.
6048496
How can a hoof trample a flying feather? It should be de he other way around: Feather covers Hoof, Horn zaps Feather, and Hoof tramples Horn.
6048939 You are assuming that the feathers are in flight, but they could be on the ground. Assuming the hoof belongs to an Earth Pony, in a one-on-one confrontation, it's unlikely for a Pegasus to overpower an Earth Pony and cover a hoof with their wings for long since Earth Ponies are stronger and heavier than Pegasi and channel their strength through their hooves. And since a Pegasus would have to be on the ground in order to cover the hoof with a wing, since they need both wings to fly, as well as get close to the Earth Pony, the Earth Pony could use his strength to push, pull, or topple the Pegasus to the ground, and then trample on said wings.
Still, I think I prefer your version, if only because I think a hoof would be better for stopping the flow of magic to a horn than a feather. Additionally, I think it would make more sense to change Feather to Wing. So I think my final version would be: Hoof grabs Horn, Horn zaps Wing, Wing wraps Hoof.
I have a strong urge to eat an ice-cream sandwich now...
6048813
Hey Mythril, want a persona membership card? Destroy one bad guy, get three more! Great way to "level" up!
Horn, Hoof, Feathers. That was my favorite part of the letter. I guess it's:
Horn beats feathers.
Feathers beats hoof.
Hoof beats horn.
So horn = scissors; feathers = paper; hoof = rock.
Oh my goodness I hate when that happens in the checkout line. I just my groceries so I can get the hell out of there.
I'm going to guess...
- Feathers fly over Hoof
- Horn shoots down Feathers
- Hoof boops Horn
6048097 For dragons maybe. How do ponies play this game?
6049950
Well, this is Celestia and Luna, so of course they play it with magical gestures. Pegasi might have sufficient wing agility to make the gestures.
How earth ponies would manage it I have no idea. Maybe they draw them out of view of the other player, then reveal. Or maybe it's an anthros-only game. It's all good!
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
6049897
I was thinking the feathers tickle the hoof. :P
6049979
Hoof pointed up is Horn.
Hoof Straight out is Feathers.
Hoof pointed down is Hoof.
As one who works in retail, I was most amused by that last part. I rather despise having to ask customers if they want to sign up for a "loyalty card" or whatever we're supposed to call it...
Sure, the boys and girls in Marketing are hard drinkers, but damn it they do the work. Which in turn means more trivial data mining work for me...