Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Legends are Never Free From Scrutiny, Part 2

Dear Principal Celestia,

I sense you’re deeply concerned about everything that’s going on over in your world. I hope that my answers can give you some solace as you soak your hands in an ice bath or wrap them in chilled towels.

Now, I believe the multiple interactions between our worlds this year have caused more magical disturbances beyond those you are currently aware of. While most occurrences have been mild thus far on your end (relatively speaking, unless you’ve had the pleasure of dealing with a gigantic town-wrecking centaur and haven’t told me yet), ever since portals between our worlds were forcibly torn open, some unusual disturbances have now been reported on Equestria’s side.

Just as a whole cave apparently vanished from our world, some things from your world have started appearing in ours. Like a second statue of Lady Equinity in Manehatten, except this one is bipedal. At least it’s not as tacky as the one in Las Pegasus, but it doesn’t belong all the same. I’ll send that back this week--no promises on where it ends up, but I hope it goes back right where it originally stood.

Plus, I imagine you’ll be quite shocked to enter your school tomorrow and realize that your desk is completely gone. That’s because it’s here, and I’m writing on it. I have no idea how it got here, but it completely crushed my former writing desk to smithereens. Forgive me if I’m using this desk as a substitute while I figure out how to return it to you.

I… may have also taken a peek inside the drawers. Who would have thought your student records file played host to over five generations of spiders? Goodness, it’s like you haven’t touched this in a decade!

Ugh, we even share some of our bad traits. My old desk had moss growing in mine.

There was also one more drawer I looked in. It was filled with all sorts of things I’m quite certain aren’t school-appropriate. I sincerely hope these are all confiscated from your students, because if any of this is yours, I think you have a much bigger problem than your hands.

Speaking of your heated situation, you’ve got two options to get it under control. I can help you figure it out, or you can consult your magical girl clique. Considering you’re still alive and able to write, I assume everything that happened in the forest worked out in the end and the girls have full control over their magic, so they are of equal importance for consultation regarding your hot hands. I will do what I can to help, but don’t hesitate to go to them if I’m not available.

Barring that, I have an inkling you’ll be in need of emotional support. With that in mind, visit the bathroom portal when you have the time. I left you a cake on your counter, because I know you. You’re gonna need sweets to get through this. I’d say some liquor as well, but again, I know you. You’ve already popped a bottle of brandy by now.

This is, quite literally, your trial by fire. But don’t worry. Breathe. You’ll get through this, sister on the other side. I have faith in your suppressing success.

With you in spirit,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Luna’s been pestering me to know if her counterpart has any magical powers. If you happen to know if she’s suffered any magical mischief, do tell when you can.

If they turn out to be ice hands or something, then you two can work it out together, and hopefully not end up on two different sides of some crazy magic war.

Comments

[Moonlit Path]

Now I'm curious about what would happen if Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna had magic.

[Streakofscarlet]

My old desk had moss growing in mine.

Kind of redundant.

I lost it at the "school-appropriate" line.

By the way, since one of this story's prominent attributes is Celestia punishing the episode's antagonist, any chance there will be something about Filthy Rich?

[MythrilMoth]

There was also one more drawer I looked in. It was filled with all sorts of things I’m quite certain aren’t school-appropriate. I sincerely hope these are all confiscated from your students, because if any of this is yours, I think you have a much bigger problem than your hands.

*raises an eyebrow*

[Boulder]

If they turn out to be ice hands or something, then you two can work it out together, and hopefully not end up on two different sides of some crazy magic war.

Oh 'Let it Go' already.

[denneylaw]

7625463 media.giphy.com/media/WrxoaVPiq0cG4/giphy.gif

[Boulder]

7625539

[Cyreni]

TOM, I take it you'll be writing the next few letters in episodic order and only after they've aired in your region, despite the S6 finale having aired early in Britain?

[BlueYoshi]

Fire magic and ice magic, eh? Perhaps Celestia and Luna in the EqG realm side should touch each other's hands and see what will happen.

Or not. It won't end well if that happens.

[blazikenking]

7625819 When fire heats ice, you get water. Depending on the strength of their magic, and presuming Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna live together, just as their counterparts do, they may never have to deal with a water bill ever again. Build a personal reservoir, blast fire at ice, and then you'll be good to go. It would also serve as a good source of regular magic practice.

[Tired Old Man]

7625712

That would be correct. Just as I respected the release of Everfree, so too will I respect the US release times, regardless if the UK jumped the gun.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Oh, is that where that statue ended up? I thought Carmen Sandineighgo was at large again.

In any case, yeah, it definitely looks like the fabric of spacetime is fraying between these worlds. Something to look into, though the Equestrians are probably going to need to lead the charge. I don't think exploding sprinkles or touch telepathy are going to help much in repairing the dimensions.

[Garrus01]

Waitamomment- wasn't her desk made of mahogany? I guess she didn't get the wood from Malchior 7 after all.

[Caffeinated Pinkie]

7625949 Well, mass and energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Therefor, the heat energy from Celestia's hands and the absense of heat in Luna's would have to be coming from somewhere. It could be using their own bodies energy reserves or taking energy from the environment arround them. If it's from their body, well, their water bill may go down, but they'll be buying a lot more food.

Though, this is magic we are talking about, so... who knows?

[Demaar]

After reading this I was like "Wait, what? That was the last chapter? Where did the other 150 go?" turns out I just read them already. Who knew?
Well that just speaks for the quality of these letters if I can read all of them and not even notice.

[silverMEGAlicorn]

I'm now itching to see Principal Luna attempting to move the moon upward in the human world, unintentionally interfering with Princess Luna's attempts at moving the moon downward to make way for the sun. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[silverMEGAlicorn]

7626619 OH MY LANTA YES!!!!

[silverMEGAlicorn]

7625329 See my above comment. Oh boy do I have ideas on how to make that work!

[StormyVenture]

suppressing success.

surpassing?