Triple Threat? No Thanks, Just One is Enough
Dear Spike,
When I met with Twilight some time ago, she approached me with a hoofful of ludicrous worst case scenarios as a result of her former student leaving her castle to go off and help with friendship. Bluntly put, they were about as sensible as hay fever dreams, but at least she came to me to discuss them as opposed to acting on these awful ideas she had conjured in her mind. You, however, have helpfully answered the “what if I tried to prevent that?” question with the only answer it provides: making a complete arse of yourself for no good reason.
Why Twilight decided to let you follow through with your keepaway plan (and even openly participate in it) based off of one such ridiculous imaginary event after our discussion on this exact topic escapes all notions of logic and reason to me. Frankly I’m bothered that Starlight was roped into this as well, but at least she has the excuse of being a friendship “graduate” greenhorn.
Yet they likely wouldn't have gotten involved were it not for your paranoia leading to a situation that can only be described as “making a friendship problem when there wasn’t one to begin with.” The last time that happened, I had to leave my castle. I’m happy it didn’t come to that, but to say this entire ordeal left me baffled, flummoxed, and outright confused likely paled in comparison to how Thorax and Ember felt about your plan.
However, the Mayor’s report noted there was a reconciliation. I certainly hoped so, otherwise this theoretical war would have had a dumber reason to start than the current Strappleberry War—gods, that name will never sound right no matter how many times I say it.
Anyway, I think you learned something important here today, because what you’ve learned is the one thing I’ve hammered into so many skulls by now I really should have a “Don’t jump to conclusions” stamp commissioned for my personal use. At this point, that stamp would quite literally help me save my breath.
Speaking of which, I do need to breathe. All this shouting has left me light-headed. Okay, where was I?
Right. This. Carry on, Spike. However, if you happen to find yourself on the precipice of making a phenomenally dumb decision again, at least look before you leap. Or if you can’t look, then think twice before jumping. And for the love of all that is good in the world, buy a planner in a notebook format so you quit dragging around a scroll that’s the length of a town street.
That last part is not from me. That’s the mayor’s suggestion after she identified it as a tripping hazard. Personally. By tripping over it.
Wishing You’d Stop Tripping Up Others With Your Nonsense,
Princess Celestia
Oh, Luna. I’m fine. Not really, but I’m just… done with today. How about you—why is a chunk of your mane missing?
So, a hungry blue dragon ate your hair after noticing it was sparkly, therefore it looked tasty. Well, it… kind of makes sense? I mean, I know it isn’t crystal, but dragon logic is inherently dense. You know that!
Also, her name is Ember. Please do not commit this name to memory strictly for her hair-grazing crimes.
Yes, I’ll see that Ember apologizes in a letter proper for her munchie attack. In the meantime, maybe try a shorter look until it grows back? Not a secretary-style look, though. I mean it!
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As much as I hate saying this, Spike doesn't work well in the starring role. He works better as a supporting/secondary character bouncing off of someone else. Which is a shame because I do want him to have good episodes.
8379569
Either that, or that's simply the role he's been relegated to by the writers, because they really don't know what to do with him if he's in the foreground.
8379580
That's what I was trying to say, and you said it better than I could. So thanks for that.
Spike as a character has so much potential but they always manage to muck up episodes about him. That's why he doesn't have many fans because we all just keep skipping those stories that focus on him because we know it's going to be a really half-hearted episode.
First appearance of Ember: "I should lead, 'cause I'm smarter than all these boneheaded dragons!"
This appearance of Ember: "I lead through competition!"
Uh, did I miss something?
8379752
Hey, who says you can't win competitions with your brain?
8379878
I just didn't get that vibe from this episode, is all.
Short haired Luna? I can get down with that.
pre03.deviantart.net/46fc/th/pre/i/2014/228/c/1/lunadoodle71_by_silfoe-d7vg44k.png
8379580
And yet last season, we got two great Spike episodes wherein Thorax and Ember were introduced. So they CAN do it; but they seem to far too often instead to resort into (to some degree) making him foul up as the crises of the episode.
The most ridiculous part - as this episodes actually shows - when the show isn't going out of its way trying to make him look bad and forgets for a second, we see so many examples of how competant Spike actually IS at what he does. Even from seaon one (who was it that got Hoity Toity there -p and back? Spike.) Even this episode, we saw him deal effortlessly with two minor friendship problems he happened across almost incidently. (Which is more than the Mane Six outside Twilight would likely have done.) Heck, for all the flak Princess Spike gets, if you actually stop and think about how DAMNED HARD doing the job he was doing; and the younger you peg Spike being, the more impressive his performance that episode was, doing a job most of the Mane Six would have flubbed just as badly. But the show itself simply painted him as being in the wrong, and that seems to be its trouble when it does Spike episodes; what it shows when it's trying to make him fail often runs counter to everything else it shows about him doing stuff. It's really weird.
8380529
The episode where Twilight release the book based on the Mane 6's friendship reports? It's one of the newest episodes this season...
8380355
I do not agree that the Thorax introduction episode was good.
As for the "Gauntlet" episode, yes, that was one of the very few exceptions where the writers actually seemed to have an idea of what to do with Spike. Maybe when the writers are not trying to come up with another problem caused by Spike's short-sightedness or lack of common sense, and instead focus on lore and his nature as a dragon, maybe that might be the key to a good Spike episode. That, or he was simply outshone by the introduction of Ember and the presence of other dragons.
I'm pretty sure DWK's "smart switch" hypothesis is on the money. The total common sense between Spike and Twilight cannot exceed a certain point.
Also, "Strappleberry War"? That certainly explains what Applejack was doing this episode.
8379752
"Crap, they all respect intelligence as much as Dad does. Plan B!"
8379752
1. While she may be an outlier, she is still a dragon?
2. projectile fireballs should beat flame cones in a duel
3. what FOME said ^^^
8380355
I have to shire that it not OOC to panic. Neither spine or Twi know anything about ember or thorax. With the very clashing ideals at prsent it just seem the most logical to think they won’t get along.
Even when spike in character people say he’s not it annoying He still bacially a child like the cmc. Oh rhe cmcmakes dumb mistakes too but you don’t see fans yelling about it every time.