Dear Applesack,
What... what is this?
This letter you wrote is... nothing. Just... you learned nothing, told me you learned nothing, and borderline bragged about not learning anything when the whole point of these letters is to write that you learned something. Anything! Even a fake lesson would have been fine! Yes, that would be a white lie, but I would have preferred that over this... this thing!
Look, I know you have the most common sense out of everypony in town--yes, more than even Granny and the Mayor--but this letter slaps that notion in the face. That, and telling me about how good your common sense is means nothing when I've been exposed to so little in day court I wonder if it's even common sense to show up there at all, or put my crown on a pillow and throw it in my chair. At this point, I don't believe they can tell the difference.
Appleyak, there's something about honesty you should know by now, and that's when to realize when it's appropriate to be honest, and when it's better to say nothing. In the case of these letters, they're meant for when you learn something. That "something" should never be "nothing," because that defeats the purpose. I know you're normally blunt, but that doesn't mean you should make this pointless.
I warn you once, and once only: do not waste my time again, or I'll send you a copy of the transcript from one of my day courts. That will be a solid hundred-page brick of words that waste the ink that wrote them. I honestly feel terrible for Quick Quill; he hates recording that garbage more than I do reading the words, and I don't blame him.
Also, I formally request that you get off of Granny's case when she leaves the house for our drinking nights. She's a grown mare capable of making her own decisions, and I'm there with her just in case she makes terrible ones. Trust me when I say that I make sure she doesn't get any tattoos on her flank; she considered it once before I told her that the word "juicy" probably isn't the best thing for the grandchildren to see. And great grandchildren.
I apologize in advance for that mental image and any bodily reactions that follow.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Luna, why are you holding a feather?
No, I don't have any tattoos. Did one of the maids tell you tha--don't bring that feather close to me!
Haa haa, you... you won't find anything! I--ehee--I mean it, Luna! Stop--AHAAHAA!
Note: Starting today, updates will slow down to every other day. Writing a sidestory for these letters, for those unaware, and it features the drunk adventures of three old mares.
Hey, that rhymed! Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I've got some more writing to do.
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Clickity
there you go, a comprehensive list of all the rhymes of 'jack', just in case you get stuck
5693614
Welp, that's going in my bookmarks for later. Thanks!
i.imgur.com/BXymB0Z.jpg
Now I want Applejack to wake up with Juicy tattooed on her butt after a bender.
Story cover image has never been more appropriate.
Granny, that sure didn't smell like BINGO on your breath last night!
and Rarity sure doesn't smells like a dragon !
she knows!
WUT ? SPIKE!
D: All this continual best pony put-down.
Lol. I had a feeling that Celestia would be pissed when she read the letter about Applejack (or is it Applewhack?) not learning anything.
Also, that part where Luna tickles Celestia reminds me of this:
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/1317.jpg
I want Applejack to teach me the Appleknack of her Appleflanks.
Kinda surprised she gets AJs name wrong considering it's a form of moonshine. Lol
5694011
I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be on purpose.
YES! THE BARHOPPING IS COMING! YAY! can't wait!
this chapter is over 9000
Just a quick typo fix.
5695896
Got that. Thanks for the correction.
5694744 no
5696164
Ya can't stop it now, buddy. The meme shall go on~!
as i read this i could only think that this could happen within the story
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/292/f/b/delivery_by_the_linker-d83elv1.gif
5699655
You're the one directly calling someone an asshole who never did or said anything to you. Think about that for a moment, who the actual asshole is. I also don't care about your reasoning, especially after calling me an asshole. I've been pointing out the flaws and foolishness of you half-cocked moral crusaders and waifu-cultists since that episode aired. At this point I'm fairly sure I've gotten all the halfway-reasonable ones to understand, the rest of you I'm hardly going to bother with because you're all too dead-set in believing you're right just because you FEEL a certain way about it and scrabble about in the dirt trying to find biased interpretations to justify your feelings so you can convince yourselves you are in the right.
I've had far more arguments and discussions with people who are certainly better analysts and debaters than yourself, given that you open up with a direct insult to the person you want to have listen to your frivolous and uninformed theory. Good day, and do not reply to me again.
5698822 Muahahahahaha! All apart of my evil plan!
Did you see the apology video?
5690551
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/175/4/e/apple_sack_by_bronyfm-d54paw3.jpg
derpicdn.net/img/2012/8/14/74100/full.png
My mission is now to find a image for all the Applejack's.
How come Luna doesn't drink with them?
This was a really weird, weak episode, aside from the absolutely amazing musical. First, the Apples never bet the farm, just the right to sell cider. Sure, they would have gone belly-up sooner or later as a result, but then they just decided to give up the farm once they lost.
Second, Flim'n'Flam's device certainly worked, up until they decided to increase production speed. AJ learned her lesson all the way from episode 3 and accepted help from the rest of the Mane 6, at least, but there wasn't even any focus on pride in doing everything by hoof, just in tradition and 'quality over quantity' when F&F's had both quality and quantity.
Really, it would have been a far better aesop for the episode if Flim and Flam had learned a lesson and the two sides made up and learned from one another. Then put Granny Smith out to pasture once the SSCS6k does all the picking automatically so she has more time to go bar-hopping with Celestia (or they manage to produce enough Cider for personal consumption so the two and Mayor Mare don't continue to drain the entire stores of several bars dry every night).
6261844
Yeah, I really hated this episode, especially its ending.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
I learned nothing and I'm proud of it! We had a chance to move our orchards out of the dark ages and save ourselves hours of back-breaking labor, but instead of teaching a couple of con-ponies the value of Honesty, we ran them out of town!"
"Dear Applejack,
Why did you feel the need to waste my time with this smug display of your willing ignorance?"
5794246
We would rather avoid the destruction of everything in a ten-mile radius.
8966923
The destruction doesn't actually come from Luna, but the awakening of Drunklestia that drunk Luna will always summon for some reason or another.