Mayor Mare,
Do you know what the trouble is with having secret passageways in your castle? They have to be built, and the only way they're kept secret is if you do it yourself, and no one stumbles across them during construction.
Or, if you're like me and somewhat naive, you hire a small crew of dedicated workers to build the passages, and expecting them to strictly uphold to your specifications without any deviations.
Gods, the foremare was so obnoxious back then, and I can't remember her name. It wasn't Hula Hoop, but I think that's close. Agh, it's right on the tip of my tongue, but she was so, SO persistent to deal with when she wasn't doing her job.
She always wanted to challenge us in some way or another, magic or otherwise. Even tried to force us to compete by "trapping" us, then demanding a competition like some kind of demented achievement hunter.
"I bet you can't eat more bananas than me!" she screamed at me through the sack opening when I tripped down a set of stairs. Ah, what a day that was. Truly, her behavior was adorable, if somewhat problematic at times.
Thinking on it, I'm certain that book was hers, probably made after the time she hosted a beauty contest to try and beat us in good looks. Only she would make something so devoted to a startlingly blunt interpretation of "beauty's in the eye of the beholder." Not even Starswirl would be so selfish, and he invented a beard-trimming spell for exceptionally long beards, for crying out loud!
Still, I would have picked a better spot to stash such a powerful book. If I had to hide it, I wouldn't have had it sitting alone in an ominous room heralding the fact that it's probably something not to be touched, which would practically offer it on a silver platter to anyone that stumbled across it and felt like touching.
Seriously, I looked at the room afterward, and there's no way I had asked for any room to have a bottomless pit. None! Why would I need one? Granted, it would be a fantastic trash chute, but the risk is too great for other non-trash things.
No, it would never be that obvious for a relic that needed three princesses to undo the damage it had caused. Why, I'd stash it in the library itself behind one of the bookshelves backed up against the wall, crammed in the small crevice between the two. Noone with any kind of sense would try to claim a book so rigorously hidden short of moving around the whole shelf or wrecking the library, and who would have the sense to do that?
Er, this is just hypothetical, mind you. I'm just thinking of a better hiding spot that doesn't require some elaborate locking mechanism and a room torn out of Sombra's Interior Design Catalog. There's certainly nothing there worth your time, Mayor. Or Twilight's. Both of you have a busy schedule to keep with those damages after this incident, and I fully expect Ponyville to be back to normal within a few weeks.
Well, "normal" meaning... you know what I mean.
Keep calm, take deep breaths, and you'll get through this week, Mayor. I'm certain nothing worse can happen to you beyond Rarity deciding your attire needing to look so business-formal it makes my sister's secretary uniform look outdated. I still can't believe she kept that.
Friends Forever,
Princess Celestia
Luna, do you remember that foremare from over a thousand years ago? The one we hired to make the secret passages?
Yeah, the one that insisted on wearing a stage cloak, and shunned hardhats.
Oh great, you don't have a name either. Well, you know who I'm talking about. Did she ever build any other rooms you know of?
Not even the underground hot spring?
Oh please, that wasn't so secret at all. That foremare had a big thing for peepholes, and that's how I found out. She really had some serious obsession problems, and--
L-Luna? Are you okay? Calm down, I'm sure they weren't used that way!
Ponyfeathers, there she goes again. Might as well prepare to explain to the astronomists why the moon has another crater in it again.
Page generated in 0.042 seconds
Total duration
689 users online
880,593 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Welp.
It had to happen sooner or later.
This letter...is a complete dud.
Trixie's ancestor?
Wait, does Luna go zooming to the Moon when she's embarrassed at such speeds as to make craters? I wholly accept this head-canon!
6009624 I thought the same thing!
Also, a crevice behind a bookcase is a stupid place to hide things. Too obvious. Very "The Purloined Letter". In my setting, Celestia hides her artifacts of dark and terrible power at the most inconspicuous place possible:
Under Donut Joe's serving counter.
I mean, would you think to look there?
6009624
Makes sense since it's apparent that ancient mare desired nothing more than upstaging the sisters at every opportunity. Just like Trixie's always trying to upstage Twilight Sparkle yet doesn't want to go through with any of the work required to do so.
....Wait. How Does Celestia plan on hiding it again? SPIKE ATE IT!?!?!?!
6009624
Ever since I saw Trixie back in season one, I started wondering what sort of ancestors she had. Then I realized that she likely had an ancestor alive during the Princess' early reigning years in the old castle. But would she be as crazy, or crazier?
The rest pretty much wrote itself from there.
You have just written yourself into a side story. " Secret Passage Construction, The Hidden Story."
6009828
Prominently starring Moxie Lulamoon, foremare extraordinaire!
...sh*t, I really wrote myself into a corner if I named her.
6009704
Why inconvenience Joe like that, though? Just hide them in the clothes dryer.
Maybe one of them will randomly teleport things for no good reason and Celestia can finally get all her missing socks back.
6009795 When Spike eats things, they appear in the Equestrian treasury.
6009859
To quote Zecora " You're Doomed "
Back in the day it was very dangerous to be an architect. You know where all the secret passages are and you are a target for elimination after the completion of the project.
At least in MLP they could mindwipe the information.
---
Er, this is just hypothetical, mind you
Oops -- be glad that wasn't Twi you told how you hide books.
----
If *I* were to hide a book like that, I would pick a title that was something nobody would ever want to read like year 812 tax records of trottingham. I would then cast a glamour on the book so anyone reading it without giving a password would SEE year 812 tax records.
----
As for the bottomless pit, Discord has one of those for his trash.
6009932 Ba Dum Chssh
Yeah Trixie ancestor! The awesome has been doubled!
Luna in a secretary outfit...
6009880 This way, she'll have an excuse to get donuts as a cover story to check up on her things. Your way, she'd have to excuse herself with "I have to do my laundry" every time. Really, which one's least suspicious? (And which one gets her donuts?)
6009908 Knowing Discord, he takes trash out of the bottomless pit. And leaves it around Twilight's castle, tastefully giftwrapped.
Also, I headcanon Moxie Lulamoon, Celestia's eternal rival.
6010048
You win this round, moon fry.
Yeah, Rarity going crazy and making a bunch of dresses can be pretty frightening if you ask me.
I know i put it somewhere safe, it's so safe I don't even remember exactly where it is.
Don't look at me like that, I know you've done it too.
6011051 As of now, the only place that is truly safe is our minds. Physical objects can be found, data can be recovered from delegates files, but our minds remain our own. For now.
6011842
Not with mind magic.
6009600 Why?
Don't worry, Princess. Appleyak believes you.
Another great letter - keep it up
The Great and Powerful Trixie does not approve
Hush Trixie
So Celestia hates Rooster Teeth?
6009600
They don't like your comment. And we may have to explain why there are two new craters.
6011842 Scientists can actually get a crude image of what you're thinking by using a fancy MRI type machine.
6362062 we're boned
This is gonna be one of those things where like a hundred letters later she suddenly realizes it with no context, right?
6009624
Has to be.
6362062
How to make art when you have Zero artistic talents.
Or, you know, questioning people. "You have the right to remain silent...not like that matters anymore."
6362062
Yeah, but that machine is super expensive, super rare, takes 24 hours to complete a scan, and only works on dead people.
Ancestor of Trixie's perhaps?