Dear Discord,
I thank you for your most generous gift. Ten thousand chocolate Lunacanes is quite a heartwarming present to receive in such stressful times as these. Not for me, but for my sister. She's been nibbling on her desk in frustration the past few weeks, and thanks to your present, I was more than happy to give her something else to chew on besides mahogany.
Although, I suspected you had known I would share these. I mean, really, did you expect me to eat them all by myself? I may not plow through desserts like Celestia can, but that doesn’t mean I should start. Despite my fondness for sweets, I eat in moderation, but that rate will see these chocolate canes expire long before I eat them all.
So I gave them to some of Celestia's Royal Guards and my Thestral Guard. That was when I found out you'd mixed in some varieties with rather delightful treats, much like a box of assorted chocolates. Some contained caramel, others nougat. Just last night, I bit into one and discovered it had toothpaste filling. You crazy coot, you know that delivers a mixed message.
Thus, in response to your gift, you should have received a rather large shipment of pies today. Each one I've lovingly made either all by myself or with Celestia's help. You'll find they're stuffed quite heartily with berries of all kinds, with each pie containing a different berry. There should be two hundred pies in all--if some are missing, let me know, and I'll address the post office accordingly.
But in keeping with the spirit of your chocolate surprise canes, I won't tell you which pies have which berries in them, nor will you see even what kind of berries they are. With some crafty food coloring and magic, the fillings all have the same color and general appearance, but I've preserved the appropriate flavor and textures. The only way you'll know is to try them yourself or dispel the magic, but where's the fun in the latter?
Of course, you're free to share the pies at your leisure. I'm certain Fluttershy would appreciate a slice or two, given how I've seen you dream of teatime with her lately. I'm certain her friends would also appreciate the gesture as well, even if your relationship with them is more one of tolerance than friendship.
It probably doesn't help that you've been throwing darts at Twilight's face on a dartboard, either. I understand your slight animosity towards her--she's still quite skeptical of you and your intentions as well, if her dreams of shooting you to the moon are any indicator. It took me a few minutes to collect myself after seeing that, so you two should really try to talk things out and maybe try to foster friendship a bit better. If not, I will have you two sit down in a room a week from now to settle this.
With that warning out of the way, Discord, have fun with my Mystery Berry Pie Surprise.
Sincerely,
Princess Luna
Tia, we talked about this. I didn't have enough Moon Berries for a second pie.
Ooh, I knew I shouldn't have given you a taste. You really want me to make another?
Fine, but I'll need a night to harvest them. Despair doesn't grow on trees, you know.
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I wouldn't have thought that despair-berry pie would taste good, but I sure with a bit of moon-magic they're great! Discord will probably enjoy the other pies, although with 200 he'll probably have to share.
Despair?
The Moon Berries are not causing you to howl at the moon?
I'm kinda curious to see how this turns out.
Mmm, despair.
Nice to see a bit of friendly Discord/Luna interaction.
Dis apple, Ya can't like dis pair. Like you can dis apple. MUFFINS!
Will they be delivered by catapult?
Disperry and datberry for Discord and datcord.
5897795
5897806
Luna's Lunatic Bakery, for all your terrifying and delicious needs!
This was fine one.
I like the interaction you do in your story.
Even if the characters are a bit different from the show you hit them well enough to believe them. Better: I like slightly annoyed, binge-drinking, trolling and pranking, while understanding and nice Celestia even more than the original.
And this Luna-letter here. Sooo sweet.
You create an atmosphere with this story which is unbelievable. Its funny, nice, sweet and heartwarming at times. I love this thing.
So - let me be one of them who say:
Thank you for writing this story.
Pankrazius
*trying to hack the site, just to give another upvote*
Dear Princess Celestia aka Best Princess,
Why won't you return my letters or calls? You know I love you!
Was the porcupine I dressed up to resemble you too much? I thought the quills tinted to match your mane were a nice touch.
And why have you started closing your curtains? How am I to keep watch on you through my telescope? You don't need to be shy.
Yours,
Breathing Heavily From The Shadows Nearby
5897800 No, but they do have a rather pleasant side effect of sleeping in through summer afternoons.
Moon Berry pies? Hmm, I wonder if she can make Sun Berry pies as well?
5897795
No wonder Persona EG Fluttershy has been acting like that, she ate some of the pie!
Well, somepony will have to go to a dentist after this.
5897795
Typical lunar cuisine. Like the moon pies, made from moon dust and Luna's tears. And quite delicious at that.
I know others beat me too it,
But Luna's lunatic culinary craftsmanship.
5898424
The Moon and the night are associated with poetry and the arts, so Luna should have a good singing voice.
*sees that it's a Luna letter*
*turns on Luna font*
*can't do it on mobile device*
*cries*
Toothpaste-filled chocolate pieces. Okay, that part nearly had me choke on my dinner, I was laughing so hard.
Top notch, playful Luna.
I would've made as many pies as there are numbers in Pi.
*cough cough mahogany doors cough cough*
Nice. I lurve this.
Dispair doesn't grow on trees? The more and more I hear about Luna's food, the more and more I dispair about her time on the moon. We are sorry, O My Lady!
ok, ill be frank.... this is among the funniest stuff ive ever read
Well once again, I forsee consequences rolling down hill and this leading to "Three's a Crowd" because Discord takes Luna seriously.
5899290 Well my phone sucks when it comes to FIMfiction...
5898633 you learn something new everyday. I didn't even know we could read in pony fonts. Best morning ever
One question. How come we don't have a Luna head.
No Luna?
5897898 There needs to be a story about a store that sells Luna's , shall we say, unique cuisine. or at the very least a list of all her culinary creations from the moon
5898366 that was the moon cookies. and we have no idea what's in the moon cake or the moonshine. there is also Celestia's sun muffins.
5897988
"Luna, lock the doors, pinky heard it was your birthday tomorrow, and now she won't leave me alone, it's be okay if she just asked me whatever she wanted to ask me, or at least got better at hiding"
Of course it doesn't. You need to go to college to find that.
No, but the Gibbet Tree only bears fruit in areas of highly localized despair. I hear that the largest collection of Gibbet Trees is in Neighpon
7036004
You post that and not link a TFS video? Shame!
5897792
Moon berries of despair are easily countered with Moon Sugar. Just don't go into over-dose territory. Wrecks the flavor.