Dear Rainbow Crash,
I stuck my neck out for you. Did it for years getting on Spitfire’s case to turn you into a Wonderbolt. I've pressured her into expanding her roster, but when she wouldn't budge citing such sound reasons like “we don’t have any spare suits” and “there are no formation plans bigger than a hexagon”, I conceded to wait for a retiree to leave so you can take their place. Not the most expedient solution available given you’ve had to wait a few years for this, but one nonetheless. And look at you, you’re finally a Wonderbolt! Congratulations!
Now, I would offer a nice, lengthy list of praise for you, but you must have noticed that lovely nickname of yours on top. Why is that? Well, I’ve received a copy of your disciplinary documents just this afternoon detailing your month-long probation. Live Wire places the rookie mistake nicknames on these documents not because she wants to, but because I specifically requested it after eavesdropping hearing from her about her running into an electric fence. It was quite a shock to learn! But you should have seen how stunned she was when I told her I knew! Oh, her mane hairs nearly stood on end!
I should have taken a picture. Uh, for the memories. Yes. Anyway…
So, your first big outing with the Wonderbolts ended in outstanding disaster involving some ‘impressive’ maneuvers that quite literally landed you in a sticky situation, all because you thought them using your childhood nickname was a bit mean-spirited, so you went out of your way to impress them so they’d stop calling you that and recognize your awesomeness, or something along those lines.
Rainbow, do you have any idea how utterly ridiculous this sounds? Had the thought not occurred to you at all that they had no idea about your childhood trauma, and therefore might be using that ‘old’ name of yours in an entirely different set of circumstances? What happened in your head that perpetuated such a notion that the Wonderbolts were truly being mean and petty? Well, other than all the other times they actually acted mean and petty, that is.
But times change, and so have they. I’ve been cracking the whip on them for a good year to get their act together, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re finally functional and giving a damn about their work. Truly, I wouldn’t have made this much progress in getting them to knock off their shady antics without you pushing yourself each day to be the Wonderbolt they wanted in their group.
However, doesn’t it seem like they took their sweet time getting you in, waiting for a pony to retire so a spot opened up? Didn’t that sort of situation almost happen with Wind Rider, who ended up receiving a dishonorable discharge but still opened up a spot in their roster? I’ll bet you’re wondering who filled that spot instead of you and made you wait almost a whole year for a new spot to open up if they were so eager to get you in since you joined the Reserves…
Well, you don’t have to wonder. I will admit that I delayed your admission into their group and had them choose another candidate to fill that spot. Why? Because I wanted to see if you could go for a year without being the cause of a catastrophic incident on the scale of blowing up the weather factory. I feared that you might cause further explosive chaos as a Wonderbolt--a loose cannon, so to speak--and essentially destroy their public reputation along with your own. And you impressed me with your restraint over that year, Rainbow Dash.
Anyway, now that you’re in, I fully expect you to exercise that same restraint as before. Playtime’s over, Rainbow Dash--being a Wonderbolt is serious business, and you know that now. Show me that your efforts and my whip-cracking weren’t in vain.
Hopefully I’ll look forward to many other disciplinary reports that don’t have Rainbow Crash on it.
Best Regards,
Princess Celestia
~~~
Dear Live Wire,
First off, thank you for accepting my request to delay Rainbow’s acceptance for a year. I know it’s a decision you weren’t happy to make, but I assured you this was the right thing to do.
I knew that despite Rainbow doing a lot of big things as a hero, there have been moments where she didn’t do the right thing. I wanted to be sure that she wouldn’t do any wrong and/or stupid things for a year at minimum just to prove to me that she could have a period of time where she wouldn’t be at the center of any incredible incidents. I realize that sort of statement considering the behavior of your establishment over the prior years was tenuous at the time, but imagine my surprise when you actually decided to be cooperative (and dare I say respectful) of my request.
Further, over the past year, there hasn’t been a single mane hair’s worth of trouble from you or your fellow Wonderbolts. Consider me floored by this revelation… well, either that or you got good at hiding your tracks again. Whatever the case is, you actually know what you’re doing, and you’re doing it well as far as I can tell.
There is one small caveat I have trouble accepting, however. In regards to your latest Wonderbolt addition, I can’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a single moment where you had ample opportunity to explain to Rainbow Dash the whole situation regarding your group’s hazing.
I realize this is something that any commonpony would pick up on as mild ribbing banter, but let’s not forget that your Wonderbolt brigade isn’t a common thing, Rainbow Dash isn’t an ordinary pony, and the environment your headquarters provides isn’t like the bustling town she grew up in. She’s also been known to miss some of the most glaringly obvious cues in social settings, so yes, this did require an explanation for her to fully comprehend. Of course, I’m sure you took all of this into consideration when you brought her in, because you’re perceptive like that.
Or not, given the timing that this incident was resolved according to the reports I received. But hey, now that this is all out in the open, I’m not going to hear of any more foul-ups from any of the Wonderbolts including your newest member, right?
Right?
I’m not holding my breath, but I suppose it’s all up to you to prove me wrong. You’ve proven you can keep things together for a year, and I’m willing to forgive a flub like this assuming there won’t be any other incidents.
But if there’s another issue, you’d best keep your ears tuned to your door. Because I’ll be knocking.
Wishing You Good Fortune (You Need It Now),
Princess Celestia
...Alright, I’ll bite. Why is there a volatile storm cloud near my balcony?
Sunny? Moony? Why are you two dressed like colorblind Wonderbolts? Their primary color isn’t green.
Earning nicknames?! Where did you get that idea--OKAY NO, punching a storm cloud is NOT how you get called “Lightning Strike!” And where did you get this cloud?!
Okay, who leaves a lone storm cloud floating around in Ponyville?! Were the Wonderbolts not doing their job--oh hey, I guess I can ream them about that later… i-is something burning?
NO! Get this cloud out of my room THIS INSTANT! I can put out the fire on my bed by myself aaaaaand the cloud’s raining. Perfect.
No, Sunny. Again, not quite the way you earn the nickname “Heavy Rain”, but you’re getting close to what it takes to get a nickname like that. Very, very close.
Live Wire, eh? Well, I hadn't speculated about that, so headcanon accepted.
Well... no. Wind Rider was retired. He was slated to be a special guest flier for that show.
Still, good to see Celestia laying down the lay on both parties. Both could have done better.
Yeah, all the conflict in this episode could've been resolved with 20 seconds of open conversation.
"Live Wire" is a nice touch. It's classier than the OTHER callsign that's circulating.
I don't think it's a good idea for Sunny and Moony to become Wonderbolts, because they're too big.
Sunny: Too big? Then let's go on a diet!
That's not how your body works....
Moony: Or a shrinking spell will do! Come on, Sunny! Let's go find a spell book!
(gasp) No! Don't! Luna, stop them!
7201847
7201851
The part about communication is absolutely correct. Doesn't help that we, the audience, had exactly one incident of a Wonderbolt using what might be an embarrassing nickname for anypony other than Rainbow Dash before the reveal. For all this supposed constantly ribbing each other for fun, they sure don't explain jack to the new girl...
Also, I'm feeling dumb. Is this Live Wire thing a reference?
7201847
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall he also came out of retirement to fly in their little airborne spectacle. Meaning that even for a brief moment, he was reinstated and one of those coveted spots was taken by him for a time. A spot, mind you, that Rainbow was wholly free to take up if and when Wind Rider chose to leave his recently reacquired position.
Of course, the events that followed had that position taken from him by force, so..."
7201950
Pretty sure Live Wire is meant to be Spitfire's embarrassing nickname.
If Sunny and Moony become Wonderbolts, Spitfire might really have a hoof of trouble. What nickname would they give Celestia?
I wonder if Rainbow Dash's antics will lead to that whip being used in another way. Hopefully not. (For everypony's sake.)
Did wonder where that cloud went to.
Man, that episode makes me GLAD that I am not in Rainbow Dash's horseshoes. I cannot stand hazing, name-calling, or mean-spirited pranks. I guess I'm soft-skinned like that. So good for RD to making it through this debacle with her sanity and optimism intact! Much better than what I would have done after that first crash into the trash.
And thus Sunny gained her new nickname "bed wetter"
To soon?
I've heard a lot of Spitfire nicknames that are a hell of a lot ruder than 'Live Wire', so thanks for keeping it clean.
I generally agree with Celestia's points in this one. A lot of the episode was a game of tossing the idiot ball between Rainbow and Spitfire. The 'embarrassing nickname' tradition could have been explained to Rainbow once hers was literally sown on her jacket, and Rainbow could have realised at any time that the Wonderbolts have no idea what bullies used to call her.
Celestia, hun, leave the comedy to me.
Celestia's comments that both sides made huge errors in communication are completely right.
7202789
I haven't been looking for nicknames but the funniest one so far has been fire crotch, which reminds me of that game fire watch
Being completely sincere, good idea with the nickname and reasoning. Personally assumed she received whatever it is after an incident involving the excessive consumption of particularly spicy foods.
7221554
"Well, the reason why I never mentioned anything about it is [REDACTED]"
7221554
7221655
To be fair, Twilight's 'friendship' with Lyra was at such a stage that she sort of forgot about it when she moved to Ponyville, which, you know... Was possibly a contributing reason to Celestia telling Twilight to "make some friends" in the first place. I could certainly see Celestia bringing up the Sweetie Drops connection and not having connected the dots with Twilight since Twilight was pretty bad at treating her friends as 'friends' until recently. Going by Letters continuity, Celestia probably knows little of Twilight rekindling her friendship with Lyra as she she seemed distracted with Sunny shenanigans regarding the key to Twilight's old place immediately after Twilight got back in contact with every pony.
Guess it depends on how much Celestia was keeping up with Twilight's day to day activities outside of seeing her directly...
What? I just finished reading the newest chapter of the story, and now the chapter's hidden.
So, uhh....got an e-mail notification of a new chapter.
And there's no new chapter.
Splain?
Celestia's first letter explains so much.
7202789 still doesn't make them look any better "we all have so it okay " that wasn't playful gazing at all ! Ugh o hate this episode
So Heavy Rain becomes Heavy Pain?
I honestly avoided watching this episode entirely because I knew it was just going to give me another reason to hate the Wonderbolts and to think that Rainbow Dash is an idiot for idolizing them.
Also I still think Swallowfire is the best alternative nickname for a certain jerk commander.
8254242
How about Shitfire?