Dear Princess Twilight,
Goodness, you’ve gone through quite the harrowing ordeal, haven’t you? Visiting alternate worlds where villains of all names and colors ruling and ravaging the lands must have been terrifying to bear witness to--Gods know I’ve wondered exactly what my status was in such horrifying times. Although... there’s been some other issues that took place while you were busy.
I mean, I had just penned up a letter asking where in Equestria you were concerning a few unusual wormholes by the time you wrote to me saying you’ve taken a new student under your wing who had once plotted to alter the timeline. Of course, you’ll still receive that letter, but for now let’s discuss your predicament.
Now, while I’d love to indict your curiously-named student (Starlight Glimmer? Really? You’re pulling my leg on this, right? Or am I going to hear about somepony else called Moonlit Glitter in a month?) on the grounds of theft and the misuse of magical artifacts, not to mention the greater crime of time tomfoolery, I can’t do any of that now because Starswirl’s scroll is gone. No evidence of tampering existing might as well mean she never committed a crime at all in this timeline. Well, until she confessed to you, at least.
Anyway, the bigger point is this ordeal isn’t in my jurisdiction. You’re the Princess in charge over there, so clearly you’ve thought long and hard about her proper punishment, and made a choice that absolutely everyone is satisfied with. And that choice, for some reason, wasn’t immediate imprisonment in Tartarus for the crimes she had confessed to. Even for a month or two, at least.
But I’m sure you know what you’re doing, letting this obsessive stalking mare off with a slap on the hoof after almost nearly redirecting our happy little timeline. Taking her on as your protege and simultaneously putting her on probation probably was a sound decision compared to just throwing her in Tartarus. After all, we have one permanent resident in there. Even though the last thing he’d want is a friend, a fellow cellmate would improve his chances to not be an irredeemable prick…
Mental note: Discuss with the Warden new cellmate candidates.
Ahem. I do see this new relationship with Glimmer as a net positive, however. Especially after I tracked down that Unicorn friend that abandoned her to attend my school. Would you believe me if I said he’s worse than my nephew, and that she’s MUCH better off without him?
Would you believe me if I said he was ten times worse considering he spoke so highly of himself he stands on a pedestal higher than royalty?
Pay attention to tomorrow’s Canterlot Courier newspaper, Twilight. That pedestal’s going to fall, and I may or may not be the one to give it a little push.
Best of luck,
Princess Celestia
Sunny?! Why are you crying, dear?
Somepony… ate your hubbycake?! No! Who would do such a thing?!
Don’t worry, Sunny. Your husband will be avenged.
…A private investigator? Well, if you wish, I do have one in mind, but I’d rather not get her involved unless you really want--
If you insist. I’ll contact her right away. Just be prepared; she can be quite… unorthodox.
Hm? Oh, those are cookie crumbs on my desk. Don’t get paranoid, Sunny. I wouldn’t want your husband dead and eaten.
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Well, to be fair, that marriage lasted much longer than it should have.
I can imagine her grinning like the Grinch at that.
Why do I have the feeling it turns out it was Starlight's "old friend" who ate it?
Also, why do I have the feeling the only reason he was even friends with Starlight was because she hero-worshiped him?
Wow. Two sequel hooks in one. A fabulous murder investigation and the fall of Sunburst. I don't know which I'd rather read first!
In any case, very nice capstone to this little cross-continuity saga.
The murderer was Pinkamena
6748008
They're the same thing, it's so obvious.
I'm thinking they're still cake crumbs, but not Sunny's cake-husband-thing.
Or maybe moonpie...
so where is lulu and moony
I have multiple stuff to say about this chapter.
-Noooo! Not Sunny's cake! Who would do such a horrible thing?!
It was me! The Pink Menace!
Pinkie, we need to talk.
What are you talking about? It wasn't me! Or is it?
-Wow, Sunburst's attitude is worse than Blueblood's? That's saying a lot.
-I'm interested in seeing how Starlight will be like as Twilight's pupil. She already has shown that she has incredible magical powers and is a competent foe in combat (Starlight's probably the smartest villain we've had in the series so far), but she doesn't know how to deal with friendship properly yet. I'm hoping season 6 will explore Starlight's journey on discovering what friendship really is all about.
Awesome chapter. Love the not-so-subtle cannon fire against the way season five ended.
Hubbycake! Noooooo!
Five bits says Sunny ate her own Cake Husband without realizing it at some point.
6746158
.......
She wants to avoid causing a panic, so she puts fliers up that announce the rather unique three-headed dog (who guards Tartarus) is missing. In public spaces. Wat.
Furthermore, it is entirely possible to mobilize and deploy entire regiments of the guard covertly as a 'training exercise'. The fact that she hasn't, as far as we know, tells me she doesn't care.
6748701 "It Seems in your anger Sunny, you ate him"
"I-I couldn't have, My husband is alive I felt it....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
6749990
I feel like that should be "It seems that in your hunger Sunny, you ate him."
6751718
Nothing whatsoever. Besides, Patrick Stewart is like Sir Christopher Lee, his voice can make ANYTHING better.
6747974 Normal Hubbycakes don't last very long at all. They're just so delicious!
Hmm read a fic once about starlight fans finding starburst was a jerk ...coincidence
6755362 You scare me!
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This is funny because in official canon, Twilight Sparkle didn't take Starlight Glimmer on as a protégé. The former took the latter on as a student for friendship lessons so the latter wouldn't cause more problems like she did in the 2 parters of season 5 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.