Dear Discord,
Do you know how fortunate you are? Do you?
You should. Taking into account your gift of my marbles, my weakness for a good apology bouquet, and Twilight and Fluttershy vouching on your behalf after everything you've done, bad and good, I've retracted my previous decision to have you recast in stone via Cockatrice after Tirek was dealt with.
You were to be released at Fluttershy's discretion, and that may not have come for a long time. Or less than an hour, depending on how quickly she forgave you for your transgressions. You might have been lucky, but the world may never know.
That does not mean your reintegration into our society will be smooth, however. You've pissed off a lot of ponies aiding that demonic centaur, and torched many bridges along the way to a point beyond repair. I've done what I can to make sure capital punishment will not happen to you for these particular crimes--the rest, however, remains on your burdened shoulders to fix, one rope and plank at a time.
For me, while I do believe you are regretful of your actions, I simply don't trust you to handle any serious threats beyond "E" in the APEX scale. Accidents and petty crimes are still reportable, if you so choose to flood my inbox with complaints of otherworldly dog urine killing your lawn. Again. But evil and extreme threats are beyond you until I see evidence that you are not so easily swayed by the darker temptations to usurp power or disrupt my ponies in a deliberate, harmful manner.
That evidence will only come with time, Discord. Or until the next threat comes and you prove yourself worthy of my complete trust again, whichever comes first.
In any case, Tirek is safely locked up in Tartarus once again partially due to your help, with Cerberus guarding the gates like a good boy--and minus one Warden Pyrefly, who voluntarily quit under the reason of "preventing a supernova." Hilarious.
But this also leaves Tartarus without a Warden. A ship without its captain, so to speak, but I'm sure Luna will make a fine substitute until I find a new one. I hear Tartarus has fantastic echoes, so everything should be just... peachy.
Ah, yes, one more thing. Your Crazy Land proposal is denied until further notice. Please do not resubmit it as a bundle of post-it notes with anagrams of my name on the back of them.
Sincerely,
Princess Stale Ice
Thanks for reading up to this fourth season, good folk! Also, the fanmail has been answered. Apologies for the long delay on the matter. Celestia was a bit occupied.
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Hilarious as usual, and congrats on 100 letters! Assuming I'm reading the numbers right...
Ha!
Stale Ice.
(I know you just did a fanmail answering, but I have to know)
So, Celestia, do you have any plans that DON'T involve Twilight or her friends saving Equestria's collective plot? I mean, there has to be other ponies you can use to take care of some of the problems those six (sorry, seven. Forgot about Fax Machine) face on a daily basis.
Next letter(s) will be Rainbow Rocks, I hope
Princess Stale Ice sounds like a JoJo character name.
6032437
...ooooooooooooooh, right.
That movie.
Yes. I will write a letter for that. Or two, depending on what I pull from it.
6032419
"Not really. Once they became the new Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, they've sorta become the default for dealing with most of the big threats on Equestria's platter. Nightmare Moon, Discord, whatever happened on the other side of that mirror, etc.
Although, at this point it seems I don't even have to issue any alerts anymore. Not when they have a table that does it for them now.
...A-Am I becoming less relevant?"
APEX scale?
6033029
Explained soon afterwards:
Accident
Petty crime
Evil
eXtreme
6032478
Rainbow Rocks in a nutshell:quickmeme.com/img/5b/5b6d9ebeeb6a82108ae102bf58ecb3fe1c6e93bd310afbbed6ef3d518fa75abe.jpg
Nice anagram!
6032526 so, you don't have a secret task force for dealing with anything you think the other princesses/ the ex-Bearers couldn't handle. Like, say, a town that's fallen under the sway of Marksism?
LOL. Stale Ice.
I wonder if it exists, though? (looks at Google Images)
Well, I found stale ice cubes. Close enough.
geniers.com/assets/components/phpthumbof/cache/Ice-Cube-0004847012F-600pxW.a453c868a5ded0d93a263e62ec1f17ed31.jpg
I doubt Celestia's threat of cockatrice stoning will work
She's free to try bashing heads with the Master of Chaos though
polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=50986972
Well, never again trust Discord, please.
So, did she do the horn thing?
But knowing Discord, wouldn't the Cockatrice turn to stone instead?