Twilight Sparkle,
What do I need to do to clarify my warnings any further? Do I have to highlight them? Make them bigger? Fly a banner over Ponyville with those specific words on it? Tell me what it is I have to do to get it through to everypony that when I have a warning to deliver, it's actually important and saves time.
I really wish I'd just told Fluttershy about Philomena as soon as she asked. At first I thought she was just asking as a gentle formality, but then I saw that she was actually serious.
That innocent curiosity is always a sight to see, Twilight, and one I'm more than happy to reciprocate with answers, even if they're answers they should know because it's their profession and if they don't know then maybe they should learn it or consider a new career path like carpentry because something always seems to be wrecked every fifteen minutes!
...Pinkie's a bad influence. She even shows up in my dreams. Not even Luna can do that without my permission, and she's the Dream Warden!
Anyway, Mayor Mare called me on some important business, so I had to leave. I treat my correspondence with her seriously, especially since she's the one that reports to me on every single incident that happens in town, and how much stress it leaves on her. Did you know her mane was originally pink ten years ago? And her face didn't look like a prune's great grandmother?
She tries way too hard to keep Ponyville on the straight and narrow. And this incident with my pet certainly didn't help her, what with my guards patrolling around. I understand her concerns; they can be rather intimidating when they're actually doing their job.
Or... maybe it's more than that. Hm.
In any case, Philomena is back in her cage, Fluttershy learned a lesson you learned what seems like ages ago, and most importantly, nothing burned down. Not that I expected it, but that just seems like a plus in a very flammable town. Mayor Mare's really on top of her game if I never hear of any fires from her.
This is also why my castle is made of marble with easily replaceable carpet and drapes. And why my room is coated with enough flame retardant it could shrug off a breath of dragonfire. Which it did. Mister Inadequate Dragon saw to that a few days ago.
He is now Mister Stumpy.
Love,
Princess Celestia
Hello, Luna. I'm having trouble sleeping again.
Yes, it's her. No, lucid dreaming didn't help. All that did was make her laugh even more.
Really? An alternative that doesn't have me dream at all? I'm game, so what is--that's my big stick. What are you--
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Gawd. DAMN!
Keep 'em coming!
Umm... Luna? Concussive Sleep Therapy is not a thing...
And, if it is, it shouldn't be...
BWAHAHAHHAAHAH Luna is such a troll!
I now have a mental image of a
brutally stunnedpeacefully resting Celestia, lump on her head and tongue lolled out to left or right as stars dance about her horn.I love that it's Celestia's big stick. Luna understands that it's the personal touch that's important.
rofl, i love how you treat pinkie in this.
At this point Celestia, just...just...just declare martial law. It's really the only way short of some common sense spell.
I would love to see her write about Pinkie Pie in "Party of One". I bet it would be like, "The Pink One is watch me, and I'm afraid of what she's gonna do...."
5613009
Maybe so, but if you remember the ponies were able to day-trip across Equestria to Daring Do's House, and Applebloom traveled to that swamp town in less than an afternoon, tugging a cart. Distance is a fairly relative concept. Besides, those tunnels that the Diamond Dogs were shacked up in were incredibly extensive and the armored dogs were distinctly military-looking. I very much doubt that it was a brand new installation. More likely it was a permanent outpost or colony for the Diamond Dogs. And if Spike has taught us anything about gemstones, Rarity walked out of those mines with enough to set a normal pony for life. That kind of loss is a severe blow to anyone's economy, the kind that causes stock markets to panic and require talking off of the edge. In politics, particularly foreign relations, it is incredibly costly in a political sense to admit fault or accept blame. It's even worse during negotiations, because you admit that the other side has the right to punish you and/or treat you unfairly.
In any case, this whole chain of letters is presupposing an entirely different reality where Celestia dislikes Twilight, everything she does, and everything her friends do. Especially Rarity. In the context of Celestia's current situation and how it has complicated drastically because of this incident, Celestia is more than rational by directing her irritation at Rarity. Whether or not Rarity ultimately deserves punishment, it is the most natural thing in the world to dislike and get angry at someone who made your job harder.
This reminds me of Tak 2, staff of dreams, when they met JB, Jibolba's Brother. Good times.
Step right up, it`s Wack-a-Princess! 10 points gets you a free trip to Tartarus!
Royal guards doing their jobs? Hah! Good one, Celly! Everyone knows they're nothing but glorified doorstops. Celestia keeps them around for decoration purposes. And when she's feeling frisky.
5615078 So wait, you're telling me I've been doing it wrong all these years?
Everyone's commenting about celestia's Repeated Serious Head Trauma Concussion Therapy to induce Dream Avoidance, or R.S.H.T.C.T.D.A. for impossible-to-say short, but no-one picked up on the Mr Stumpy joke.
Mr inadequately sized dragon from the dragon MATING grounds is now... 'Stumpy'.
This Pinkie reminds me of the Mental Advanced version of Pinkie, yes.
I get the feeling most of the letter got lost somehow.
She actually wrote that down as it was happening? Heh.
5627427
Except this one is not a not-so-closet psychopath. Like . .. . every fan depiction of Pinkie Pie across time space. -_-
LUNA IT DIDN'T WORK SHE IS LAUGHING WHY IS SHE LAUGHING WHY?!?!!!?
5617673
they are glorified messanger boys during any action..
5618128
Read a story a little while back... Where Luna's talents for medical service is commented as being a tad, archaic, effective apparently but archaic.
Canon much?
Seems like Pinkie Pie is quite the menace.
How did everyone miss the "Mister Inadequate Dragon is now Mister Stumpy?"
5823567
We're two of a kind.
5823567 I didn't miss that. Still laughing.
Percussive anesthesia!
Worst part: It didn't work.
Pinkie invade a dreamless dream.