Dear Fluttershy,
You had an ambitious project built today according to the Mayor: an animal sanctuary! Here I thought your house was already one, but given the shocking density of semi-sapient wildlife overflowing the local veterinarian’s office, I’m not surprised the animals would need a new home for them to call their own.
To that end, you initially hired three experts to oversee your project:
First is Wrangler, an expert on animal enclosures, brought in for your sanctuary where the dream board design prominently featured no fences or cages whatsoever.
Then there's Hard Hat, a construction worker used to working with actual blueprints on buildings and hospitals. He recently finished a remodeling for the Baits Motel, and now he was brought in for a job that was not about raising a house or barn.
Finally you have Dandy Grandeur, an interior decorator… Do I have to explain how boneheaded this choice of an expert was? Do I really have to?
In case you’re missing it, your panel of experts were incorrect choices for what you actually needed. Why you did not think for half a second that these experts were not the landscapers you were looking for is something I cannot soundly explain short of your decision feeling forced.
Thus, I presume this decision wasn’t one you made alone. You wouldn’t seek out a group of professionals so utterly misaligned with your goals—it’s so dumb, even Rainbow Dash would think that’s a terrible idea... maybe.
Fluttershy, if anypony you know (even your friends) recommended these bozos, do yourself a favor. Get yourself a newspaper, roll it up tightly, and hit them with it. Multiple times, at least four or five. They probably didn’t understand what you wanted from the beginning, especially if any of them decided to take the expert’s side over yours.
If that applies, multiply your newspaper thwacks by two to the offending pony. Also, for whoever recommended the interior designer, multiply the thwacks by four.
This is not to say that only you or your friends (again, if applicable) bear all of the blame. The experts should have extended a professional courtesy to bow out if the job they’re given is not something they’re properly qualified to do, or they don’t know how to fulfill your request. It’s even worse when they decide that you don’t know what you want and they do their own thing to try and make your idea happen.
However, I will note that this is a different situation when the client consults the correct expert. I’m sure Rarity can relate to that, right?
Speaking of Rarity, it seems you also took her unofficial advice in using friends as free labor, since that’s how this sanctuary currently exists. You also hired a surprise country stallion that’s... good with critters? That’s still not a landscaper, but whatever. You made it work out since you actually started taking charge of leading your dream team instead of leaving them to their own devices and hoping for the best.
I hope you took away something more substantial from this whole ordeal that wasn’t a cheesy remark about following your dreams, because you needed to learn way more about what it takes to make a dream a reality than how you envision it coming to fruition.
Despite all the learning you could use right now, I wish you well in this venture of yours, and may your sanctuary carry life and longevity for the creatures within.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Alright Sunny, how goes the progress of this kitchen animal sanctuary?
Well, a few kinks are to be expected, although I don’t know why you mentioned “rope kinks” specifically. Can I just see what the progress is so far?
The experts aren’t finished? I thought this was going to be a one-day project! Who did you hire?!
...a blacksmith, a rock climber and a baker? Oh, for… no no, I’m fine, Sunny.
I’ll be right back. I just need to grab a newspaper.
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Oh my...
Kinky.
8149111
8149159
I should've known the second I mentioned rope kinks that everyone would think knotty thoughts.
8149196
Corner. Now.
8149207 *brings out the rolled newspaper*
8149223
*pulls out poodle* You wouldn't hit a dog, would you?
8149237 no, but would gladly hit a rolled up newspaper with a puppy... proided the puppy knows who's the alpha of the pack...
8149252
Noted. SMOKE BOMB! *throws a smoke bomb and vanishes*
There are a lot of lessons to learn from that episode. Most of them through counterexample.
Just...wow. I don't even...wow.
Oh I'm sure there are some writers we want to do this to.
Rainbow Dash,
I didn't want to say anything at the time, but there are ponies who bristle at the language you used in certain company. Phrases like "Buck yeah!" might be the norm at Wonderbolts Academy, but please remember that there are foals and other sensitive ponies who prefer not being exposed to such profanity.
Said with the utmost regard, your friend,
Twilight.
She's innocent in this episode. She wasn't one of the three ponies who recommended an expert to help build Fluttershy's sanctuary.
8149600
"That's a statement indicting her of having dumb ideas on par with finding three unrelated experts, not for actually finding an expert. My apologies if that was misconstrued.
Though I wouldn't be surprised if she vouched for herself as an expert on awesomeness.
Don't tell me she wouldn't do that."
only Twilight would think of completely pointless library cave in a animal preserve
I'm not sure if I look more forward to the actual Letters, or the Sunny/Moony shinanigans.
So that means Rarity is getting at least 16 newspaper whaps.
Strangely I'm okay with this.
So Rarity gets at least 32 or 40.
Better hold on to that newspaper.
Got an early view on the next two episodes. Rarity is going to come out looking like a newspaper herself by the time the thwaps are done. Dash less-so, but Celestia may end up pulling a Picard by the time this blows through.
8149672 considering the displayed level of sentience/sapience of the animals, its entierly possible that at least some of them can read.
Fricasseed or Cajun style?
Calling out Rainbow for being a bonehead is always nice to see.
Y'know, I think this is the first episode that made me feel genuinely bad for poor Shy. (Canon episode, not this story.)
Other Fluttershy episodes were things that she just needed a little help overcoming. But watching three so called professionals ruin a dream, and one so easy to understand, was more than a little painful to watch.
Didn't like this episode
Why is Fluttershy hittin' us with newspapers?!
I DON'T KNOW, DARLING!
MAYBE it's because of that letter Celestia sent about our choices of experts?