Everyone thinks the mane six is the most powerful but they raised brilliant sisters and younger friends. When the mane disappears and all helpful adults.
Everything seems lost, but survival skills have away of kicking in alliances are made, and the reader may wonders if I a walking dead or unfortunate event fan...
and how the heck the story could end well.
but things have a way of looking a little more hopeful then they can appear or dun dun maybe they do not.
Either way the characters are now dipped in chaos especially there front flank
This story is getting back up after years. Because I want to finish it.
Please check the recent chapters before hating story or tell me whats wrong with it so I can improve
or just hate that's fine too :P
Chapters (11)
Hi! I realized that when it says, "...the most amazing coolrific pony.", you mistakenly put a period in front of "pony", when there should be a comma in front of "met". Hope it helped.
2215302 thank you
Well I guess not many people like my story ): oh well........
There seems to be a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Would you like a proofreader?
2230740 I would love one !
2230762
If you'd like, you can send me any new chapters and/or stories, I'll fix some of the errors, and then send right back to you to publish! Your chapters seem just the right length for me.
deviantart.com/download/150503510/Grammar_Police_by_Rysis.jpg
Sorry, just had to do that.
There is a spelling error in the title. Cuitemark. Cutie mark.
Do you realize how bad that is? And then I read the description. Oh dear god the description.
Then comes the chapters. Let's see here...
That is THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF THE STORY.
myfacewhen.net/uploads/3728-oh-dear-god.jpg
Fix:
You should probably look at other fanfics and improve as much as you can.
:2230890
Sorry the like always thing never even occurred to me, and belive me I read alot of fanflics 
as you can proably tell these is my first fanflic its already pretty terrible so I cant get anything but better at these point right ? 
Ill try to edit a couple things, the paragraph scince you edited it, the description needed a face lift, the title well I was wondering if I should put it that way......
Ok the grammer, police may fire at will. 
2231309>>2230890
Don't worry, it'll be fine when I'm done with it!
2231323 yay!!!!
Lead Policeman: "Fire at will!"
William: "Nooooo!"
To demonstrate my superior intellect, I shall announce that I don't know how to reply to comments. Derp.
ANYWAYS, you need some motivation.
cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/11212012002192.gif
You can do it! Sorry if that first comment was slightly harsh, but I am a grammar nazi.
2231853 Dont worry it wasnt very harsh, I needed it criticism is criticism and I did ask .
Just so you know, a 'cuite' is either an adjective meaning 'cooked' in French OR a noun meaning 'drinking your ass off', again in French
All of this to say that a spelling mistake in your title isn't very engaging. And that I'm tired. It's like 2 AM here.
Sigh. I'm rambling again, aren't I?
2268016
Its fine
ugghs another one lol
2268034
It happens. Trust me when I say I spend more time proof reading than editing and more time editing than actually writing. I trust noone else than myself for that kind of stuff, even if it drives me insane.
2268045 Oh wow I dont trust myself with proof reading.
The amounts of spelling errors that looks like I purple-sly put them there scares me sometimes.
2224848
A lot of the problem with your story is that it doesn't read very... English. Quite a lot of it doesn't actually make any sense. You seem to have some good ideas, but you don't quite seem able to express them in a logical way.
2289442: rainbowhuh: Thats terrible then.... because I am american lol.
Well I'm intrigued.
2306780 yay!
2393022 I got a proof reader a couple chapters ago. But the
beginning chapters werent proofread and were edited by me as time went on if that explains it...
Okay. From what I've read so far I've sported two major problems:
1) Punctuation
This is odd as you seem to have too much of it. Commas are your biggest problem. It seems that you like to use them a lot, even when they aren’t needed or they are put in the wrong place. This makes your text messy and breaks the flow of it. I mean, if you have to, stop every few words, because of a comma, that should not, be there then it can get, annoying. (That was an exaggerated example)
2) The changes in PoV!
This is a big problem. Sudden changes in PoV can quickly become disorientating and leave me and other readers confused. This is made worse by your choice to write in a first person perspective. In this perspective it is often best just to stick to one character, or at least make clear distinctions between the characters if it does change (E.g. a chapter per character).
I also didn't really understand what was happening in this story, although, I am the kind of person who can get lost easily when reading. It seems like you have a great idea for this story, but like many great ideas it wasn't put into words all too well. I just found it confusing, frustrating and in some ways boring.
I'm sorry to say that. But I do hope that I have provided some helpful feedback. With some care and love this story would be good. At the moment, it isn't terrible or bad, it’s just not good.
I hope to see you improve, if you want anything else, just ask.
27300442730044>>2730044
Thank you so much, now I know part of it is the commas it proably has to do with the way I began using the internet I never used commas then but in writing I tended to use them so I didnt perfect comma usaged or somthing like that.
As for the PoV switch I thought it would be frustrating but also though it might be worth it to devlop each character I do not plan to introduce anymore character into the Povs and if I do they will get a chapter. The thing about the PoVs is that I do not like streatching them and I have always loved mystery and though fimfiction doesnt have a genre for that, the reason you proably couldnt follow is because all of it will be revealed later and gone over.The characters themseves do not know whats is happning which is why I decided to do it first person.
I do not want to force you to keep reading, but if you want to I would love a review of those chapters aswell because these is the next chapters are where I had gotten a proof reader so they tend to make more sense and I tryed to make intensity rack up as it progressed.
Hope you get these reply ... for some reason it wont automaticlly reply to quote so I had to do it manually...
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Chaos is my Cutie Mark
Grammar score out of 10: 3. The sentence structure and word choices are good, but there are a lot of spelling and punctuation mistakes, and one or two capitalization mistakes..
Pros-
1. The premise is interesting, and the sentences are done well.
2. None of the characters seem OOC, and if they are it is only slightly.
3. The general feel of the story is good, and I like the slight air of mystery.
Cons-
1. The grammar interrupts the flow of the story.
2. There aren't any plot devices (like fore-shadowing) used, and the story doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
3. The chapters are inconsistent as far as detail; sometimes there is too much detail put into a scene, sometimes too little.
Notes Section: I have no real notes, other than keep working on your weak points. If you make a few tweaks to your writing style and practice writing some more, your stories could be great. This story has potential that's not really being used, but it's still enjoyable. even if it is hard to read due to the misplaced punctuation.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Not As it Seems
^(The easiest way to get to this story is through my profile; it's my only story.
This fanfic... It reminds me of a book. But its a swedish book(not sure of it is) but this chapter does remind me. This fanfic is sure good! I like it.
3067258
I know I haven't read any sweedish books but I never espected to have a comment like that 
Ill continue these when I have the time maybe it isnt that bad.
It reminds you of a book?
3237766
Well this fanfic is very awesome!
cant wait to read more!. 
2839763
There is actually subtle foreshadowing and a couple other plot devices as the story goes on I thought the plot devices shouldn't feel too obvious to perseve the mystery. The story is infact going somewhere but I understand there is a real lag at times in diffrent chapters like its time for the story to end I really have no idea how to fix that though but rest asssured this story has alot of ideas and will go somewhere in each chapter to tell you the truth all the chapters I have written could be considered a prologue. (I wont tell you how.) through I just hope I improve my grammer and that the chapters that you haven't read has also not seemed occ.
Thank you so much for the review I didnt really notice the diffrences in my describing but to be truth I tryed to make it have less detail when I didnt think it would be needed.
I love that you like the premise I try to draw out the potential in the other chapters but I think pepole will like it more once some answers are answered.
Flashing cutie marks? ... Okay...? Anyways, can you please put the POVs on the top of each chapter?
You may be an adult now, but your grammar hasn't improved in the slightest. Please get a proofreader or beta reader. A proofreader or beta reader is someone who will look over your story chapters before you post them and will correct your grammar for you so that it's readable to English-speaking audiences, while also not changing the story ideas or the plot. No offense, but it's very apparent that, if you really are of adult age now as you said in the author's notes, that English is not your primary language, and you are not using it properly or effectively in this story. English speakers will have a very hard time understanding this story. You even frequently misspell the characters' names.
9946240
You do realize this is the only chapter I wrote as a adult right?
Also a couple years ago I tried to find a proofreader and it was impossible every time I got one people still though it needed further editing e.c.t which I can only conclude is almost everyone commenting actually liked the story so much they wanted the grammar perfect.
I rather have a little bit of bad grammar then be booed from the internet like I was as a preteen.
Especially as some completely liked the story and that's all the that matters to me
and there is nothing bad about the topic of the story.
Also you are quite rude English is my primary language and I live in the us and no one really complains but its fine and I am 22 but honestly I don't care.
I am just gonna take your comment as a critic
but I am done chasing a editor
if one falls from the sky so be it..
but most before did not wanna take my story and I am not going to pay one for a fanflic.
Also I misspelled the characters names as I decided to write this late at night and was going to edit it later...
Don't you mean The Source Of Our Chaos?