• Member Since 24th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 13th, 2016

TheDerpyOutcast


The mod of Ask Violet Factory. The word Factory is there cause Rainbow Factory. I like to art and write. DRABBLE PROMPT NINJA FISH

T

A strange mare comes to Ponyville. While the others try to make friends with the mare, Pinkie Pie hides from her. Twilight confronts Pinkie and finds the secrets of an unimaginable past, and go on an adventure that changes everything.

Chapters (7)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 28 )

Rarity was mumbling about Diamond Tiara and a tacky outfit:raritywink:

If you want to make it longer, be more descriptive. If you want to make it to the front page, then you should make each character mentioned have something memorable in the story and a cliffhanger at the end.:ajsleepy:

I like short stories. I can get through them quicker and updates usually happen more often. However, the pacing of this story is too fast. You might want to spend more time explaining situations or have longer conversations, I don't know. Still, I like the premise, which is why I will be keeping an eye on this.

2219924 thank you for your opinion. Some one told me on Connected that my chapters need to be longer. These stories are my thoughts typed up as I think them:twilightsmile:

Good story so far. Just be a LITTLE more descriptive. But pleasepleaseplease write moar. Sounds interesting so far!:pinkiehappy:

2220250
I write in a very similar fashion.

Try making a beginning and a plot point you want to reach, and just flesh out the middle with detail.
It worked for me, sorta.

Nice save.:ajsmug:
Keep it coming.:derpytongue2:

Looks like Pinkie is cured...or is she? Or will the cure be worst then the disease? We will see.

Well, it's not the greatest grammar related, but not to shabby Kati..Surprise109:raritywink:

Hey Surprise 109, how do you do this:

>>person ?

2267915 Hi. Use my name I'll use yours, neighbor.:derpytongue2:
Why is your picture Queen Chrysalis?

2267946. Click on a reply, it's the two speech balloons in the corner when you hover over a comment. Didn't you read the FAQ?:derpyderp2:

The story I'm working on involves Queen Chrysalis, and the Changeling's morphing ability has always peaked my interests. Also, I think the darker fics are pretty cool, and an ominous Changeling queen gives me man points, even if it is the queen.:flutterrage:

>>Surprise109 Did it work? No? Aaahh, Buck this! I'm doing all this from my IPod, so I can't click, just tap. :ajsleepy: It would be very helpful, too.:applecry:

I must've missed something, why is Pinkie sick?:rainbowhuh: (Emoticons are helpful in emphasizing points.)

2268144 yes. It worked. I do this all on my kindle.

2268162 the Cure for not endlessly being possessed by grumpy hate everythingness had its own toll. Never ending pain.

2268008 I'm writing a changeling story using rainbow dash.

It's not doing anything except the quote stuff when I tap the white bubbles, but nothing when I touch the yellow!:ajbemused:

So Daring Do isn't just a fictional character. Now they all have to go on a quest to save Pinkie Pie. If this is going to be anything like that book, I expect there to be traps, as well as an adversary. I look forward to the next chapter after spring break.:pinkiehappy:

2268364 in the time I'm not working on this, I will be working on my story in progress, Spectra

2268371Oh, now I see it. If you look in my profile, Surprise109, you'll see my passcode. No pony else is allowed to use it or know of its existence! I'll be done soon enough.

7 people commented...4 people only once.

Yep. This is no longer Slice of Life.

2455749
No, she became one in the time after 6.
Also I accidentally published chapter 7. :twilightoops::twilightblush::facehoof::twilightblush::twilightsheepish:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!