One Little Experiment
Part IV: One Little Experiment
Night fell over the town. Doors were locked and lamps were lit. Ponies everywhere stayed close to one another for warmth and for company. It was the eve of Hearts and Hooves Day.
One red-hooded pony trod the streets alone with a saddlebag…
---
Twilight looked over the graphs and notes she’d written by candlelight. Here was a graph showing a correlation between romance and reproduction. There was a chart on different types of romantic love, from filly crushes to lifelong marriage. So many hours pouring over the elusive answers to love—and the real answer had been right under her muzzle.
There was a knock at the door. Twilight went to answer it, but there was no one there. She almost closed the door when she noticed a package sitting on her porch.
Taking the present inside, Twilight examined it on her desk. It was wrapped in white paper with a big red bow. She used her magic to quickly unwrap the gift.
It was her library’s copy of The Illustrious Stallion Caller. And somepony had used a slip of paper as a bookmark.
Although her tail was twitching anxiously, Twilight forced herself to open the book and read what was on the bookmark.
On top were the words I love Twilight Sparkle, which had been crossed out.
Below that read I love you, which had also been crossed out.
Below that was the unfinished sentence My name is Fluttershy and I’m in love with… That had been crossed out multiple times.
At the bottom of the paper were the words Attempts To Talk, followed by twenty-seven tally marks. Some of them looked fairly recent.
Twilight sighed and put the bookmark on her desk. She made a mental note to return the book to Applejack soon; AJ still had a week before she had to return it to the library. From there, she headed upstairs to her bedroom. Spike was fast asleep in his bed, holding a locket in his claws.
Curious, Twilight discreetly cast a levitation spell to pull the locket from his grip and open it. Inside was a tiny picture of Rarity and the words To the Noblest Dragon of All. With a smile, she put it back in Spike’s claws and let him be.
There was something to that. Even as she got under the covers of her own bed, Twilight couldn’t stop thinking about Fluttershy. All those times they’d shared a laugh, or danced at one of Pinkie Pie’s parties, or gone on an adventure with the others. So many wonderful memories.
Every time I see you, I want to hug you and make sure you’re all right, Twilight thought as sleep began to overtake her. I thought I was just being friendly all those times. I guess it was something else...
She would know for sure tomorrow. She had one last experiment for her romance project.
---
Fluttershy lay on the sofa with her hooves in the air and her mane pooling around her head. She was lost. It was like the first time she’d fallen from Cloudsdale. Weightless, plummeting, and all her friends fading away so fast…
Angel Bunny was being kind today. He’d gotten her a bowl of fruit for lunch and a glass of juice. He was even tending to the other animals around the cottage, organizing their play dates and preparing their food. It was nice to see that he wasn’t always self-interested. Fluttershy felt some pride in watching him work, but she felt miserable that he had to do what was supposed to be her job.
I’m so sorry, she thought for the sixty-third time that morning. I’m so, so sorry, Twilight…
Maybe she could take a trip to Cloudsdale and stay with Rainbow Dash for a while. If enough time went by, maybe things would get better. Maybe they could just pretend that all this never happened.
Fluttershy sighed. But even if that were true, she would still remember how she felt about the most wonderful unicorn in all of Equestria—
The sudden knock at her door made her leap in fright. She didn’t want any visitors, especially on Hearts and Hooves Day. How could she face anypony after her humiliation?
Angel, however, went hopping toward the front door. Fluttershy cringed as he opened it, but there was no one outside. Just a sunny morning and birds chirping.
The pegasus breathed a sigh of relief and wiped her brow. But her heart kept racing when she saw Angel running up to her with a scroll in his paw. Hesitantly, she took the scroll from him and read it.
I am so sorry for everything I said last night, the message read. Let me make it up to you. I’ll be conducting an experiment in White Tail Woods at sunset. Bring the potion. Your friend, T.S.
“Oh, my.” Fluttershy held the letter against her chest. For the first time that morning, she allowed herself a smile.
Here was her chance to make things right.
---
White Tail Woods was lovely this time of year. Tall brown trees with green and yellow leaves, forming a beautiful canopy over a single road. This was where everyone came to watch the Running of the Leaves, and on Hearts and Hooves Day, it was a popular spot for couples to have picnics and other special moments together.
Fluttershy, though, wasn’t ready to be spotted by anypony who might be there. As a precaution, she wore her red cloak with the hood up. She recognized a few ponies like Lyra and Bon Bon, but nopony was paying attention to her.
When she came to a small clearing in the woods, she discovered a small checkered blanket had been laid out with a picnic basket set on top of it. At first Fluttershy thought she’d stumbled onto some couple’s private spot, but then she noticed the slip of paper tied to the top of the basket.
It was her bookmark.
Something rustled in the bushes behind her. Fluttershy winced as she turned around.
A pony in a green cloak came trotting up to her. Fluttershy blushed when the pony threw back her hood and smiled.
“I’m glad you came,” said Twilight.
Fluttershy slowly removed her hood and sat down on the blanket. “Um, it was no trouble.”
They shared an awkward moment of silence. Then Fluttershy remembered why she was here and took out the small brown vial from her cloak. “Oh, I brought Zecora’s potion. Y-you said you wanted to… test it?”
Twilight beamed. “I do.” She trotted past Fluttershy and sat down on the other side of the blanket. “I’ve had some time to think things over, and now that I know what you were trying to say, I wanted to give you a chance to try out the potion. But I’m still doing my love research, so I thought we might try the potion together. We’ll see how love and courage interact.”
“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy hadn’t counted on that, but she wasn’t displeased. In fact, she felt a little better about the situation.
“Here, I’ll take the first sip.” Twilight’s horn glowed as she summoned the vial to her lips. She smiled at Fluttershy and took a single sip. Then she passed it back to her friend.
The pegasus raised the vial to her lips and drank what was left, giving herself no time to hesitate. It was a sweet brew and tasted a lot like cinnamon and honey. She smiled and felt warm inside. It was already working.
Here she was, alone in the woods with Twilight, on Hearts and Hooves Day.
“Twilight Sparkle,” said Fluttershy, “from the moment I met you, I’ve always liked you a lot. You taught me to believe in myself when not even Rainbow Dash or Rarity could. Will you be my special somepony?”
Twilight giggled. “Only if you promise to be mine.”
“I do!”
They laughed and hugged each other tightly. Twilight nuzzled her and Fluttershy rested her head on her friend’s shoulder. This was the moment she’d been dreaming of for so long—
“Hey, wait a minute.” Twilight pulled back and looked at the empty vial on the blanket. “I didn’t actually feel any magical reaction from this potion. Did you?”
“Um, I thought I did. I mean, I confessed my feelings, didn’t I?”
Twilight scrutinized the vial for a moment. Then she licked the inside with her tongue and squinted. “Just as I thought. Honey and cinnamon. It’s a placebo!”
“A what?”
“This isn’t really a courage potion. But if Zecora told you it was one, then you believed it was and so you felt braver after you drank it.” Twilight’s eyes were shining when she looked up at Fluttershy. “So you didn’t need the potion after all. You just needed to believe in yourself.”
“I can’t believe it.” Fluttershy spread her wings and did a backflip in joy. “I really did it!”
“Yes, you did!” Twilight bounced in the air alongside her. “And I’m glad to have you here. It means my research is finally done.”
She took out a quill and a sheet of paper from the basket and started to write. Fluttershy hovered over her shoulder and read along.
Love, Twilight wrote, is a magical field that can be measured, but never conclusively tested. Not even a potion can force its existence; it can only encourage the love that is already there. It is a subconscious force that can build up over time from passion to a committed relationship. And it brings two ponies together in a way that goes beyond the magic of friendship.
Fluttershy landed beside her as Twilight folded up her research notes and put them away. Then she magically brought out a bottle and two glasses.
“Now, according to Rarity, a glass of punch is traditional for today,” Twilight said while she poured their drinks. “I know I’ll need it to wash out the taste of all that honey and cinnamon.”
Fluttershy giggled. She accepted the glass from Twilight, who lifted hers in a toast.
“To love,” said Twilight.
“To love,” Fluttershy replied.
THE END
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- amazonessduo · 4k words · 114 10 · 2.9k views
- KevinBlu · 9k words · 62 3 · 2.8k views
- Blue Dragon · 60k words · 115 18 · 4k views
- Discord Kantus · 4.3k words · 96 8 · 3.6k views
- Blue Dragon · 7.1k words · 112 8 · 4k views
- Valtyra · 1.9k words · 56 6 · 2.5k views
- Arbiter Balemead · 19k words · 195 10 · 4.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.129 seconds
Total duration
1,100 users online
1,615,100 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I really like this ending. It felt more personal between Fluttershy and Twilight, and it was really cute.
I liked this new ending more to be honest. In the old ending it bothered me, that Fluttershy needed that magical potion to confess her love. Thanks for the rewrite.
2183913
Thanks!
2183917
Glad you liked it!
I feel bad for not having noticed this story earlier. I usually notice every TwiShy that's posted, but this time I guess I was a little slow
It was a great read though! Good job.
That was a very fun little read! Short and sweet, A very interesting concept, and you handled their personalities perfectly. Very nicely done!
2369816 Well, thanks anyway!
I liked the buildup and the concept, but towards the end it seemed to impress me with a feeling of disappointment. Though it comes to a definite conclusion, it seems to be lacking in some way.
Having just read this story and seen that the end was a rewrite, I'm unsure whether the original ending would have conveyed a similar hollowness or been more satisfying. Despite the noticeable displeasure after finishing the story, I liked the first three chapters well enough that I don't want to press the dislike button. I guess I'll just leave it at that.
I hate having such a negative view of this, especially since I try to hold short stories to lower standards than chapter sagas, trilogies, etc. in the way scenes are built up to and characters are examined (Similar to a oneshot, short chapter stories just don't have room to really reach into the depths of the fiction hat, and that certainly doesn't count against them).
This was a decent fic by any means, enjoyable as a distraction and unworthy of direct criticism by a far poke, but I felt the need to express that the ending felt forced, to put it simply.
2608554 Actually, I find your criticism very useful. Endings have always been a problem for me. I've no trouble setting up the story, but bringing it to a satisfying conclusion is where I run into trouble. Any suggestions on what could've been done differently will be extremely helpful.
2608617
I felt that Twilight was too immediately willing to reclassify her feelings of friendship towards Fluttershy as feelings of love. While it isn't completely unreasonable it took something away from the potential intimacy by having it so plainly there. To me, though I wouldn't dare to be so arrogant as claiming this to be a measure for quality by anyone's standards beyond my own, the majority of the enjoyment from a short shipfic is seeing the process of accepting it. The abrupt surprise, the analyzation of the feelings, the moment (or longer) of denial, looking at the pony through 'new eyes' and finding out whether or not the friendship is more than it seems...
This was good, and there was a bit of examination into how the two reacted to the reveal, with Twilight being surprised and jumping to a particular conclusion based off what she had just learned, and Fluttershy's brief spiral of inward apologies. It had the setup and elements of a better shipfic, but it felt like Twilight was too immediately ready to change her mind and decide she shared Fluttershy's affections, making the first move before either of them really had time to calm down from the confrontation. They decide to be special someponies and end by toasting to their love... It was a pretty dramatic emotional shift. To be blunt about it, it felt like you got bored and stamped out a cookie cutter happy ending to avoid leaving the story dead in the water (A consideration that a surprising number of authors don't share, so thanks in any case).
2608661 Thanks! That's what I needed to hear.
Adorable good job it is because of this adorableness that i stay a faithful TwiShy fan
9.5/10 from me.
~Tobben
4429729 Aww, thanks! I'm glad I always appeal the TwiShy crowd so well.
A nice, small, fast-paced story. The idea with Fluttershy trying to get a 'courage-potion' as well as this potion turning out to be a placebo was an interesting approach, a nice touch overall aaand a nice twist, too.
Only nitpick: Although it generally is sort of a problem for most stories to be fast-paced, that's not what bugged me here. What got to me was their actual, uh, let's call it 'talk' at the end. Slurp, slurp, 'I really like you', 'yeah, I like you too'... first thought: "Wow... that was... quick... and short..." Or, to recite an old meme: That escalated quickly. I really wish there would've been a bit more dialogue, actually. I think it would do good for this last chapter. They don't have to start rambling for another five hundred words, but as it is now, it feels a bit... off. Too fast. Too easy, maybe.
Still, a fun ride!
Thank you.
5395186 A fair point. Pacing or charting actual growth between characters has been one of the areas I'm trying to improve in my writing. Especially when it comes to romantic pairings.
Still, I'm glad you enjoyed the story for what it was!