Why am I an earth pony? When I asked my father, he told me about gravity, and entropy, and the cold depths between the black stars that eat entire worlds, but it only confused me more. When I asked my mother, she only laughed, and told me I’m special, whatever anypony says about my form. A princess is always a princess, she said...
Pinkie Pie's true family rules a world beyond entropy, a place we know as Carcosa. Millions of years after the events of the show, the Pink One writes of her life, and what it means to be an earth pony touched by a much higher power than any alicorn.
Chapters (1)
It's two blue and one yellow.
Let's get the harsh criticism out of the way first, before I begin the compliments. If I start now, I'll probably won't finish until next spring.
Oh boy, the irony of those words. Trust me Pink One, I am confused about that sentence as much as you are. The problem? The first sentence doesn't quite connect with the second. Is the second sentence telling us what her father told her after she asked the question? Also, the ending clause is also, ironically, confusing. Perhaps you can rephrase the sentence a tad differently.
Also, the title. I'm not quite sure I understand the reference. It is the colors of Pinkie's body and cutie mark? If so, it's Pink, Yellow, and Blue. Could you clarify for me please?
The emotional scene with Rarity seemed a bit... weak, for my tastes. The words and the descriptions aren't wrong, but I couldn't really force myself to feel sorry or shed a tear for Pinkie. I'm not quite sure how to remedy this, but perhaps it results from the short story. Less words to develop characters and make the audience feel for them.
Another note: Your formatting's off. The first six paragraph's are missing a tab on the first line, but the rest works fine.
Alright, that gets that out of the way. Now, for your long awaited praise.
Not too bad for about 1k words. The reveal of Pinkie (if one did not look at the description for spoilers) works well, and the explanation to her secret abilities is fantastic! It's really something unique to the huge stew of stories I call FiMFiction.
Good work here. Nothing breathtaking, but I don't think it was meant to be that way. Just a short, enjoyable fic, and I sure did enjoy it.
2128814 Thanks, I edited the story a bit!
2129695
).
By the way, the "When I asked my father...", don't forget to apply that beginning to the description. That also needs some fixing up.
The cutie mark fiasco is very much fixed up, thanks. As for the emotional scene, send me a PM, and we can work a little further on it instead of leaving lots of spoilers within the reviews (Also, you might want to delete that in your reply. Actually, I should do that too.
And thanks for replying to my review! Many people just ignore it, or refuse to change a thing about their stories. Good to see some people listening to their readers.
Pinkie Pie, eldritch equinoid abomination, child of Has...bro.
I like it. I really like it. I suppose I'm a bit biased, since I've also given Pinkie immortality and nigh-omniscience (then took them away. It's a bit complicated and involves cards games, but not motorcycles.) Anyway, this is one of the best, least sanity-destroying mashups of FiM and Lovecraft I've ever seen. Discord as a son of Shub-Niggurath was especially inspired.
Also, am I correct in thinking that Pinkie's mother is implied to be Fausticorn? If not, who is she?
Odd...
Niether black nor white...
Just... odd.
That is all.
2160808 To what do you refer?
2158697 Thank you for the comment.
As for the identity of Pinkie's mother-- I never meant to answer the question in the story, but I am fond of Cassilda. Her song, as performed by Stormclouds, played in the background as I wrote.
2161406 An odd story depicting Pinkamena Diane Pie as the child of a pre-lovecraftian eldrich horror...
An odd depiction about how her eternal existence lead to an odd existential crisis ...
An odd ending regarding the natural planetary death of Equestria... followed by an odd surreal dream depiction of a eldritch afterlife (?not sure?)
And an odd afterstory Authors note that refers to a human in Equestria named Howard.
Odd... not bad... just odd... that is all.
2162309 Howard Phillips Lovecraft, of course. The man rather liked the older stuff. And he'd be a GREAT reason no humans would be allowed in Equestria, I think.
Odd is a good. Thankies.
Rather good :)
2168737 Thank you!
Oh, wow! This, right here, is the reason I read fanfiction. This is very much in the spirit of the cthulu mythos, and tied to the world of mlp, and combines them to make something new and wonderful. While Pinkie's "Father" is kinder than any of the Lovecraftian gods, he, and Pinkie, maintain a feeling of inhuman (inequine?) power and perspective.
So gushing done, I look forward to reading more by you, well done sir.
2176920 Thank you.
I was waiting for her cutie mark to slowly morph into the Elder Sign.
That's a good thing.
3264067
Thank you very much, and by the way, the last king is come.
*sniff*
2161428
Who is Cassilda?
Also, where is Pinkie and the others? I am going to guess the Dreamlands/Kadath, but I could be wrong.
I must say I do declare that I like very much. Now as to excuse myself, good author, I shall be pressing that nifty button up there to signify approval and to remember for revisiting.
To start I love this story so much I spaz when telling my friends about it. Also I have never seen anything like this before and that so another star in my library and a thumbs up for you I wish you well.
My apologies at about the grammar failure
I loved this... unfortunately I had to down vote for moral reasons of the Fluttershy shipping.
In Love and Tolerance,
Draco Dei