Chapter 16: The Return
“Come on, please…”
“You only hired me for a few hours.”
Twilight and the gang arrived at the Sugarcube Corner to see Pinkie Pie and Bubble Berry negotiating with the DJ who had helped set up the whole celebration of Butterscotch and Pinkie Pie’s new found friendship. Flying McFox and Doc Blue had taken the liberty in separating themselves from their captives and had moved to the far side of the room, hovering by one of the back doors.
Sugarcube Corner was in even a more chaotic state than the one that Dusk had first experienced when he arrived looking for Butterscotch. Paper cups littered the floor. Tables had been trampled and upturned. Punch stained the floor. Light streaked in from cuts in the curtains. It looked nothing like the well cared and professional place of business that the Cakes presented it as.
“And besides, I have gigs already planned for the rest of the day,” the DJ added, adjusting her glasses.
“Pleeeeeeeeeease?” Pinkie Pie repeated once more, holding the “e” even longer to show her desperation.
“As I have been trying to tell you two, me and Doc really don’t need to have a party,” McFox shouted from the other side of the room.
“Why throw a party for someone who doesn’t want to enjoy one?” the DJ bolstered the scientists arguments. “I know you like throwing parties, which I greatly appreciate because over half my gigs come through you, but maybe, just maybe, they would prefer something a little lower key than my party rockin’.”
And with that, the DJ carried the last of her party equipment and walked out the door.
“Aww…” Pinkie Pie slumped down against the wall. “Without out throwing a party, how am I going to be able to meet and welcome my new friends?”
“You know that it isn’t always necessary for you to acquire a cacophonous setting to welcome a pony in?” Rarity replied. She started to make her way from the doorway up to Pinkie Pie by tip-toeing around the dastardly putrid objects that lay out on the floor, cringing with every miss step.
“I know that silly,” Pinkie Pie said with only half the bubbly enthusiasm she once contained, “but it is my talent and I think since it is the best thing I can do it shows me at the finest. First impressions are important.”
“Umm, excuse me, not to trying to take away from you in making a first impression and all Miss…Pinkie was it?” Dusk interjected. “But shouldn’t we be focusing more upon fixing the Warp Zone, the machine that got us here? I mean, the ponies back in our world must have started to worry about us by now. We can’t, err, focus on enjoying a party when we know ponies at home are missing us.”
“And not to worry anyone or anything,” Doc Blue added on, “but we really haven’t fully tested the effects of dimensional traveling just yet. Nothing could happen or…a lot could happen.”
“Like what?” Twilight was intrigued.
“Well, there's a chance that there could be slight changes in personalities and skin tones,” Doc began to form a list, “there could be slight changes in weather and the atmosphere or you can have major disturbances, like time repeating itself in some places or even messing up core physics.”
Everyone took a quick glance at one another.
“That’s heavy.” Rainbow Dash stated.
“Actually, it would most likely would be become lighter,” Doc answered.
“Well, we should definitely focus on getting the Warp Zone back to working condition then!” Rarity exclaimed. She turned back to Pinkie Pie. “You can throw a party when these nice colts return once again and thank you for everything.”
Pinkie Pie beamed. “Okay! Let’s go fix the Warp Zone! I don’t want my skin to turn green!”
She zoomed out the front door, leaving a trail of clouds in her wake. She, however, quickly returned, rewinding herself to where she originally stood.
“Umm…where is the Warp Zone exactly?” she asked Doc Blue.
The old colt laughed. “I’ll lead the way.”
As everyone began to file out of the Sugarcube Corner, Elusive stopped Applejack as he walked past him.
“Why did she mention that we’re going to be returning here?” Elusive asked, dodging the litter scattered on the floor.
“Ah don’t know, she’s your double Elusive,” Applejack answered. “Maybe it is because she’s been tryin’ to find you all day.”
“Ahh yes, that,” Elusive remembered the details of the story that Dusk told them about her. “You know, I’m flattered that another mare has fallen for me, but it is becoming rather creepy. Besides, along with that fact, I have almost gotten killed and, worse of all, dirty, I don’t think I want to visit this place ever again.”
Applejack nodded in agreement, as being kidnapped by bunnies usually doesn’t increase the wanting to return to a place. Seeing that their conversation was done, they both resumed walking to find the Warp Zone and to try to create a solution for this whole situation once and for all.
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The Warp Zone was hidden in the trees near the entrance to the Everfree Forest. It was hidden far enough from the main town so no one would happen to stumble upon it, but it was close enough so if anything was needed from Ponyville to work on it, it wouldn’t be too hard to go back and get it.
The Warp Zone was designed with the knowledge that it would have to be hidden in the trees. It was tall and lanky, with the main base colored brown and its seemingly random pipes, leavers, and buttons colored a dark green. This color coordination helped it mimic a tree quite well and it wasn’t until they were within a few feet before they could fully tell it was there.
“This will only take a few minutes,” Doc Blue informed as he started to punch numbers into the keyboard that was attached to the main base. He and McFox began to discuss scientific mumbo jumbo as they used the paper that Mr. Cake had written.
Twilight noticed Rarity beckoning for her to come by her, for Rarity had started to move away from the rest of the group. Twilight, curious, carefully removed herself from the rest of the group as well.
“So,” Rarity began with a giant grin, “is he everything that you hoped for?”
“Huh?” Twilight replied.
“You know what I’m talking about. Dusk!” she exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “He’s smart, he’s understanding, and, as a bonus, he’s even somewhat good-looking!”
“That is because he’s me, so…thanks?” Twilight responded.
“I’m so glad I finally got to meet my wondrous double!” Rarity whipped Twilight around in hopes that they both could stare at him lovingly. “I bet he understands feelings and fashion like no other colt in the world. And, of course, he knows how to take care of his blessed looks that he was given.”
“Umm…Rarity?” Twilight looked at her astounded. “Are you in love…with yourself?”
“Who better to know my needs and wants in a relationship?” Rarity shot back. “And besides, everypony knows that the closer two ponies are personality wise, the better chemistry they will have!”
“I don’t know, Rarity…it just sounds wrong. I don’t think you need to travel to a different dimension to find the love of your life.” Twilight answered. “And what happens if there are problems with interdimensional travel? Would you rather mess up, who knows what, so you could just be with yourself?”
“I was actually going to ask you if you could look into interdimensional travel and see if there were any horrific problems that could arise.” Rarity countered. She drooped her lip and made her eyes as big and sorrow filled as possible. “Could you do that, for me?”
Twilight rolled her own eyes in response. “I was planning to look into it anyways, for future reference sake. It’s a field that I don’t have any experience on and---“
“Thank you Twilight!” she preceded to squeeze Twilight in a hug. “I’ll go talk to him for a bit before they all have to go! You should do the same with Dusk!”
Before Twilight could voice a response, Rarity was already trotting over to where her white stallion stood. Elusive glanced around and noticed her coming. He made a head motion meant for Butterscotch and Bubble Berry, who he was in a conversation with. They looked over at Rarity coming over and nodded in understanding. Butterscotch helped Bubble Berry walk over to where Dusk and Spines were observing the scientist at work, leaving Elusive alone.
When Rarity finally reached Elusive, his eyes drifted from watching Bubble and Butterscotch leave to her. Rarity immediately knew something was up. His facial expression did not share the same joy that she had with finally getting some alone time with him. Instead, his expression was stone cold, with his eyes showing hints of inner sadness.
“I know what you want to do,” Elusive began. He tried to keep his emotions out of his voice. “I’ve known ever sense Dusk informed me that you tried to entrap my friends.”
Rarity’s happiness slowly drained from her face. Elusive turned away from her, and stared away into the forest.
“I know that you want to have a future with me, to be the one you can call your coltfriend,” Elusive paused dramatically. He turned his head back to make eye contact. “And also I know that I can’t accept.”
Shock smacked Rarity and flipped her upside-down. She was being rejected…by herself? Her mind scrabbled to find some sort of explanation, some sort of reason.
“Hearing about how brash all your actions at attempting to meet up with shown a lot of late onto the situation for me,” he explained, knowing that if he was in this very situation, an explanation is if what he would ask for not. “I will admit, after finding out that we had gotten ourselves into a dimension where there were mare versions of ourselves, I thought of the same idea.”
He paused to let those words sink in.
“They were even bolstered after hearing Rainbow Blitz’s encounter,” he smiled with memories of Blitz exclaiming how Rarity looked. “My curiosity was even more piqued. I began to think thoughts about how this mare could be the one I had been looking for that could give the relationship a colt could only dream about.”
Elusive let out a sigh. “However, your actions directed at my friends opened my eyes at something. I was thinking of my own betterment before anyone else’s. If I was going to go through with the plan of being together forever, I was ignoring needs of a certain mares that I am going to meet sometime down the road. I don’t know what my support will be needed for, but I do know that while having a relationship where the other pony knows exactly all my needs and wants. It won’t help anypony else and it won’t help ourselves improve.”
And with those final words, he began to make his way back to the rest of the colts, leaving a stunned Rarity behind.
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As Elusive neared the group of colts, Rainbow Blitz zoomed over to meet him and almost ran him over.
“I found a witness that states that you did do something girly!” Rainbow Blitz declared. “I was going around, asking the different mares if they had seen or heard you do anything girly for a bet…”
“Even your mare double, Rainbow Dash?” Elusive asked smugly.
“Yes!” Rainbow boasted, but after a knowing look from Elusive, he stopped. “No, I didn’t ask her…because…I figured that we already knew where she was the whole time, so I didn’t need to ask her. A-at all. Nope.”
“Anyways, when I was asking Fluttershy,” he motioned for her and Butterscotch to come join him, “she stated that she heard you give off a high pitch scream in the forest when looking for Applejack. Pretty girly if you ask me.”
“I’m-I’m not sure about the whole girly part…” Fluttershy said meekly. “But…it did sound like your voice Mr. Elusive, sir and there were really no other pony in the forest at the time…”
“Ha! In your face! I knew you couldn’t do it!” Rainbow Blitz was enjoying his sweet, sweet victory. “Now the whole town will get see you walking around in a dress tomorrow!”
“Umm…may-may I say something here?” Butterscotch asked. Rainbow Blitz and Elusive looked at him. “Well, should you guys be really punishing each other by making a bet that goes against who you guys are at in your cores?”
“I appreciate where you are going with this Butterscotch,” Elusive replied, leaning closer to whisper in his ear, “but I have a plan with dealing with this bet. It’s no big deal.”
“Oh…if you say so,” Butterscotch whimpered back.
“Come on you three!” Dusk, standing by the Warp Zone, yelled to get their attention. “They are finally ready to send us back home!”
“Ooooh, I can’t wait for tomorrow!” Rainbow Blitz smiled and flew the couple of feet that were needed to reach Dusk.
“I-I guess this is good bye,” Butterscotch turned his attention to Fluttershy. “It’s been nice meeting you.”
“Same here!” she chirped. She gave a tiny wave and a big happy grin as she departed back to the rest of the mares. He watched her leave, with the same happy grin placed on his face.
“Umm…Butterscotch?” Elusive asked with a smirk. “Do I need to give you the same speech I just gave Rarity?”
“Heh, no, I know,” Butterscotch replied with the grin still on his face. “Let’s go home.”
They walked over to where Dusk and the rest of the colts were standing. A white “X” was placed right in front of them. Dusk gave Doc Blue and Flying McFox the signal and they pressed some buttons and pulled a lever that made the machine come alive, giving off a gentle hum. A familiar blue portal appeared over the “X” and one by one everyone jumped in, bringing an end to their adventure in a different dimension.
***************************************************************************************
Rarity gave a sad filled sigh as the portal closed up, leaving no remains of the colts behind.
“You sure you’re going to be alright Sugarcube?” Applejack asked, giving her an affectionate nudge.
“Yeah, I’ll be alright,” Rarity replied with a half smile. “They’re lessons I’m glad I heard from…myself and not somepony else.”
Applejack chuckled. “There’s somepony out there for you, and you don’t even need a dimension doohickey to do meet them.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as the rest of the mares (and Spike) rejoined together. “Besides, if Twilight here is going to find a colt who likes her in the near future, you’ll have no problem!”
“Yes, there’s plenty of-” Twilight cut herself short. She spun around to meet Pinkie. “Wait, what?!”
“Yeah, there’s even going to be a whole movie dedicated to it!” Pinkie began to ramble. “Well…not to the whole “you finding a colt that likes you” sort of thing, that’s going to be somewhat of a subplot to the whole you going to another place where you have hands and stuff and you go ahead and stop this one mare who goes to the same place and basically rules the school that is there! Oh, and there’s all versions of us, but we don’t know you, and we all have hands and the same stuff that you know have and we all have to join together in this show down with the bad guy and transform and win!”
“And best of all,” Pinkie winded herself up for the big finish. “It’s all canon! Though, we’ll never really ever talk about it again…”
“Oh Pinkie,” was all Twilight could really say in response. “That’s just crazy.”
“Yeah!” Spike joined in the fun, “A colt, liking Twilight!” He gave a disgusted Twilight a playful nudge before bursting into laughter.
“Crazier than meeting versions of us that are from a different dimension and are all the opposite gender from us that get here from a machine that was made by three secret scientists that have been hiding out in the woods that we try to track down to see if they are legit and they try to avoid us at the same time, but in the end we end up all meeting up and ending up help solving the scientist machine and even have them leave some sort of an impact on us?” Pinkie asked.
“But…it’s not really canon…so…” Pinkie gave a shrug. “Who really knows?”
...
“Oh Pinkie,” Rarity giggled and laughter slowly made itself around the whole group. “Thanks for cheering me up, I say we should all go back to our homes now. I know, for me personally, Sweetie Belle must be wondering where I have been.”
No one opposed the idea, for the day had been an exciting, and definitely interesting. They all returned to their homes, remembering their adventure that day and the ideas and thoughts that were made that day as well.
***************************************************************************************
The colts, as well, went back to their daily life after their whole trip.
Butterscotch went back to his cottage and helped take care of the animals he cared for with so much passion. His mind was kept busy by keeping track of what every animal’s needs were and where they were living, however, when it began a little overwhelming, his mind wished for another pony that could help with the same care that he did, but he remember that he was never was lonely with his friends and if he was ever in too much trouble, he could always ask them for help.
Applejack went back to work at Sweet Apple Acres and kept on working the apple orchard with his sister Big Macareina. He once shared the story of his trip to another dimension with her and Pappy Smith, but the ponies who enjoyed the story the most where the Crusaders. Applejack compiled what happened from the other six and told a little bit of the whole adventure each time, enthralling the young colts. It became a staple of the Crusaders weekly activities during the summer.
After Bubble Berry’s leg healed from its sprain, he was back to bouncing around and planning parties like he always did. He would share the story of his great adventure of being a sleuth while dealing ponies from another dimension when throwing these parties, but those who heard him just pushed it off as Bubble being Bubble.
Dusk became obsessed with the idea of multiple dimensions. He met up with Mrs. Cake and asked if she really was a scientist, using the adventure and the Warp Zone to bolster his claim. She stated yes and even asked him if he could help with figuring out more about multiple dimensions. While at first the research seemed to be all harmless, the more they looked into the possible results of tampering with other dimensions, the more the realized that it was better to focus on improving their own dimension, rather than risking destroying their own and others.
Spines helped Dusk work with learning about multiple dimensions and was the biggest supporter of not experimenting by traveling to other dimensions, whether it was because of the risks involved or some other reasons. She wrote down Applejack’s wording of their adventure after he was done telling the story to the Crusaders and placed it in the library, so others could enjoy reading about their tale of excitement. She also wrote out a different version, full of more personal thoughts, and kept it in a private place in her bedroom.
Rainbow Blitz woke up around ten the day after the adventure (bright and early for him) to see Elusive in the dress, as foretold by the bet. However, when he spotted Elusive, he noticed that while he was wearing did seem to look like something that could be called a dress; it was not what he was expecting.
“What is that?” Rainbow Blitz motioned to the garb Elusive was wearing as he landed next to him.
“This?” Elusive asked, using his horn to levitate the ends that touched the ground to show it off more. It was a one piece tunic that almost blended in perfectly with the color of his skin, as it was made from a pure white fabric. It started from his shoulders and flowed across his body and draped itself around his tail. There was a golden sash that pulled the fabric close around his stomach. Finally, Rainbow Blitz noticed some sort of branch looking thing carefully placed in his hair.
“This happens to be a toga,” Elusive explained. “It was worn in ancient times as a symbol of wealth and power.”
“A dress that symbolized wealth and power?” Rainbow Blitz scoffed. “Get serious.”
As it turned out, Elusive was being serious. While Rainbow Blitz enjoyed himself at first for commenting about how Elusive was wearing a dress, a lot of other ponies recognized the piece of clothing. And in turn, a few of them thought it was more funny that Rainbow Blitz had no clue what a toga was rather than the fact that Elusive was wearing one.
As the day wore on and the enjoyment of the fact that Elusive was wearing a dress lessened and lessened. Eventually, Rainbow Blitz decided to call it in early.
“Well, I’m going to go take a nap now,” Rainbow Blitz commented, hiding his disappointment on how the day was going. “Have fun with your dress ‘Lucy!”
Elusive watched him go as he zoomed off into the skies. “Some ponies never change,” he commented, smiling at his observation.
Elusive, personally, liked retelling their adventure, especially the part of dealing with Rarity and how he sacrificed relationship bliss to keep himself open for the mare he was destined to be with. One particular time he told the story was when he had asked Big Macareina to come model for another style of dress he wanted to make some days later.
“And that’s how it ended!” Elusive announced, putting the finishing touches on a pink and blue dress with silver designs. “So, what do you think?”
“If you mean the dress,” Big Macareina always spoke a little bit on the slower side, showing that she made sure to choose each of her words carefully. “Ah like the simple and elegant nature of the dress and Ah do happen to like the colors that you chose. If you mean the story, Ah have heard it before from my brother, though Ah noticed that you chose to focus on different points then he did.”
“Oh, so sorry for the confusion there,” Elusive apologized and motioned for her to follow him to the mirrors so she could get a better look at herself. “Why I always do enjoy what your opinions on my designs are, I was actually asking about the story and more importantly the lesson that I taught myself.”
Big Macareina twisted herself to get the best view of the whole dress. “Well Ah think that it was good for you to remember that a great relationship brings out the best in the two ponies,” she began. “There are certain qualities in ponies that are only fully brought out when dealin’ with a certain somepony.”
“A point I agree with one hundred percent!” Elusive announced, moving around to the front of the changing screen as Big Macareina went behind to slip out of the dress.
She gave Elusive the signal and Elusive levitated the dress to him and placed it on one of the plastic manikins that he had nearby. He was still wondering where he wanted to keep the dress, either put it in the window so others could see, or in the storage room so he could pull it out in a time of need. Dresses like this weren’t in high demand during the summer.
“Ah would also like to add that that’s the reason why a lot of times opposites attract,” Big Macareina stepped out from behind the screen, only wearing a simple brown yoke that reminded ponies that she always had a part of her mind on work. “They balance each other by compliment each other’s strengths and helpin’ their weaknesses.”
“Exactly!” Elusive exclaimed. “I’m glad you understand my thought process so perfectly! Oh, and thanks for coming in once again and trying on another dress design! I know it must be bothersome sometimes to come in on such short notice.”
“It’s always a pleasure,” Big Macareina replied. “Ah always enjoy myself when Ah come over here and spend this time helpin’ you.”
Big Macareina moved past Elusive and made her way for the door.
“Umm…Macareina, there’s one more thing that I would like to ask,” Elusive spoke right as Big Macareina reached the door. She turned and noticed a hint of pink appearing in his cheeks. “We’re opposites, right?”
Big Macareina paused for a moment to let those words sink in. Finally, she smiled and spoke a single word before leaving through the door.
“Eeyup.”
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4600360
4599847
Both fixed.
Well... I admit, I kind of wanted to see more interactions between the two universes. Mostly Pinkie Pie & Bubble Berry and Fluttershy & Butterscotch.
Still, you managed to keep a realistic approach to it, by focusing on getting home and mostly avoiding to meet their opposite selves to evade triggering a potential paradox(even though it wouldn't happen), and I like it. The only bad things are the numerous grammatical errors, and the fact that, at times, the story didn't quite "sink" in - in other words, to let me properly imagine the scene.
Regardless, good luck with your upcomming story!
I demand a sequel, well more like an extra chapter of Elusive being more successful in relationships, now with Big Macareina. And of course Rarity being unsuccessful.
I loved that ending
simple but sweet
Interesting story. I do like how Elusive and Rarity talked out the situation. Good luck with future stories.
4613814
Fixed, and thanks for pointing these errors out! I don't know how I can miss so many, but it seems that I always end up missing some mistakes in every chapter.
Also, I liked the humor included as well. Made me laugh.
4600996
If I've learned anything from writing this story, it is that balancing multiple characters is very difficult to pull off successfully. And yes, I do agree that I didn't do a lot on the end of the two universes meeting. One of the major points that I had when starting this story, however, was that's the usual focus of these sorts of stories and I thought the interactions with other versions of themselves was never focused upon a ton.
This focus ended up making for some weird pacing though, which would make sense why people don't usually write that as the main focus.
And also, what scenes didn't "sink in" for you? I would like to see if I could improve those areas for future readers and improve my skills in writing scenes for any sort of future writing.
Finally, thanks for fixing some of the grammatical errors I made. I will definitely look into a proof reader before posting another story, it seems that I truly do need one haha.
great story
my favorite part was rainbow b. not knowing what a toga was 
What. How...this ending... Oh my fucking mankees, this sucks! I'm so disappointed that THIS is the ending. What, what were you even thinking when you wrote this? 'How to finish a story as quickly as possible?'
A story's ending needs to be concise, wrap up faults, complete the story while maintaining the mood that's been set. This does none of the above.
I'm sorry to say that I did not care for this story. It's not that it's bad, but honestly it feels way too much like On a Cross and Arrow, only with the stallions making the trip to the alternate dimmension rather than the mares. The seemingly original material here is infrequent, though when it does present itself, it is quite enjoyable. For example the scene with Big Macareina and Elusive; I thought that was a nice touch. That said, your pacing is much faster than the aforementioned story (being just more than half its length by word count) and there isn't the sense of concluson in the final chapter that On a Cross and Arrow has... The use of pop-culture references and external links are also something that you have to be careful with - every time your reader has to click an external link they're not reading your story! I would simply recommend moving the links to the author notes at the end of each chapter... The only other point I would like to make is in the second half of your story there are numerous examples where idioms are misused and entire sentences are difficult to read because of structuring, or just plain incorrect as is - both are easily fixible by taking a quick runthrough and reading the story aloud.
My advice - one writer to another - is to re-read this (preferably aloud, with an editor) to catch the rough spots and to fix them. Then move the links to the end, where your readers whom do not get the references can then be pointed in the right direction. That said, I will encourage you not to rewrite the ending. Granted it is one of the weaker points in the story as is, however, rewiting it will take more time than it is probibly worth and will make the story longer than it needs to be. I hope that you take these points into consideration and continue to learn, and grow as an author.
......the ending.....Elusive and Macerina...gah! I ship it! Loved the story BTW! Keep this up! Some advice, proof read the story, cause there were times I had to go back and re-read parts cause they didn't make sense to me grammatically. I mean, with a little thinking I figured out what you were meaning to say, but it may not be that way for others, who would be totally lost as to what you're saying. A little grammar check goes a long way.