• Published 25th Jan 2012
  • 10,623 Views, 517 Comments

Fallout Equestria: Guise of Chaos - Fallingsnow

A story in post war Equestria following former raider Two Kick Ripple on a quest for vengeance.

  • ...


“Ash is back?!” The blue pony entered the room so quickly she slid when she stopped. Bright eyes of blue and violet quickly scanned across the faces in the room. Rail Spikes, Traffic, Raw Deal, and Vigil stood looking at her, but her attention was firmly fixed on the griffin standing amongst them.

Her face fell as he shook his head. “Sorry Shade... nothing.”

Her eager stance fell into a dejected slump, and she turned. “Oh...” Turning, she left the way she had so eagerly entered.

Ash excused himself. “Miss Traffic.” A nod to the others, and then he followed the mare outside.

The streets had been cleaned up in the last year and a half. The ponies from Blank, escaped slaves from Neighwhere, and pockets of survivors scattered about Hornsmith had rallied. The area directly above Underhoof had been cleared out, shored up, and occupied. Jokingly, Ash had called it ‘Hoof’, and despite all the complaints and jokes, it had stuck.

Shade was leaning on a wall near the door, out of the rain. As Ash got closer, he could see that she was crying. He put a claw to her shoulder, trying to soothe her. “Shade... I’m sorry. I looked... but it's crazy up north. The ‘Clavers, Red Eye’s scattered mob, its just not safe. It’s crazy... finding one pony in all that is not easy.”

“I know... I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I just so want him back. I want him to meet her... to be there for her.” Her eyes were sad. He had rarely seen them any other way since he’d come back down the mountain, half dead and without Ripple.

“Where is she?” He knew that the one thing that could take Shade’s mind off of Ripple was her daughter. That foal was her everything now that Ripple was absent, which was the word Shade insisted everyone use instead of ‘dead’. Dead was final. Absent left that little chance that she clung to.

“She’s with Fluster. I’m... I know she’ll be happy to see you.” She turned away, hiding her tears from him. She never liked crying in front of anyone, never liked showing how hurt she was. Ash understood this, and gave her a light pat on the back. Her foal always reminded her of Ripple, so that even when she was happily spending time with the little filly, she had tears in her eyes.

“There’s always next time, and any news we get from traders. A guy like Ripple will stick out, we’ll hear something eventually.” Ash had really been doubting his own words. Every time he reassured Shade, part of him stopped believing just a little more. He went out with caravans, or as part of the greeting party for any travellers. A few questions here and there, all aimed at finding his lost friend.

He hadn’t found a single shred of evidence that Ripple was still alive. Not in a year of searching.

Shade nodded sadly, and Ash left her behind. From the look of the saddles at her side brimming with tools and scrap, she was working hard today. Her talent for repair had proven very useful in building this town, and her constant maintenance was required. Technically skilled ponies were hard to come by in the wasteland, especially now that so many had headed north to find the pony that had defeated Red Eye and killed off the Goddess. They saw it as a new life, a fresh start away from the memories of Hornsmith.

Ash had talked to ponies in the north. It wasn’t the wonderful utopia that was spoken about in taverns and around campfires. It might be. Some day. But it had a long way to go before then.

Walking down the street, he sighed and tilted his head back, letting the water run through his feathers. He’d just gotten back from a raider hunt up along the tracks running north, and was looking forward to a little down time. But first, he’d stop by and say hello to the only part of his friend he had left.

Pushing the door open, he heard a soft voice call out from inside. “Shade? That you?”

He grinned at the voice. She always sounded so happy when she was around kids. He was glad. Fluster had been a complete wreck after the mountain. She’d been suicidal, and it was only thanks to Xiera and her foal that another part of their little group hadn’t died.

Xiera’s foal had brought Fluster back from the brink. The pegasus had an affinity for the young, and had spent much of her time around them. Even if she would never have any of her own body, she flourished and grew stable taking care of Xiera’s and the town’s children. When the little zony needed looking after, she made a natural caretaker. Shade’s delivery had brought another filly into her fold. The children had been her greatest trust and saving grace.

“It’s me. I’m back.” He turned the corner into the main room, a converted office. The building that Shade and Fluster lived in had once been a travel agency, as far as they could tell, and had a spacious main room. Faded posters of far off lands lined the walls.

Fluster looked up at him, her scars shining in the soft light. She hadn’t worn her robe in half a year, and was healed from her adventures. Her coat had a healthy shine to it, and her eye sparkled. Those fillies had saved her life. Her face darkened slightly as she looked past him into the hall, and she nodded. She’d been losing hope of ever seeing Ripple again, and was less and less sad when Ash returned empty clawed.

On a desk in the corner lay a minigun. Fluster had gone back into the tunnels one night, a few months after the event. She’d buried her closest friend alone, and come back with the hefty weapon strapped across her back. Ever since, it had sat in this room, a bulky, lethal memorial to Ivory’s sacrifice.

A light bark from one corner drew his attention to Fern, who was now a full grown timber wolf. Despite being a natural predator of ponies, he sat vigil in the corner, watching his master play with the two children. He’d grown too big for the pouches Fluster didn’t wear anymore, but he still followed her everywhere. He’d even killed in her defense once or twice. In the community, the fierce animal bought a lot of respect for his timid, scarred master.

“How are the kids?” Ash crouched down, his prosthetic leg creaking a little as he did so. The little white foal was playing on the ground, and she squealed with delight when she saw Ash. Making her way clumsily to the griffin, she hugged his outstretched talons, which he was careful to keep from stabbing her.

“Hey there, kid. How’s my little gal doing?” The coo she gave was worth the week long trip he’d just taken to a warzone. He smiled at her, and then at the second foal that trundled over. The little zony scowled up at him, and he chuckled. “And my little ass kicker too.”

“Ash, you know Xiera doesn’t like you swearing around the little ones.” Fluster scooped the little zony up under her wing, where she began kicking her legs in an attempt to get back on the ground. “Especially not around Ziel. She’s already picking up enough bad language as it is.”

From the feathery prison a small voice called out “Ass kicker!” and Fluster used her other wing to rub the bridge of her nose. “See? Now I have to explain that to her mother.”

Ash shrugged. “Sorry. Just tell Xiera to yell at me.” Then, tickling the little filly latched onto his hand, Ash looked evenly at Fluster. “How are you doing?”

Shrugging, she placed the kicking filly back on the ground and use her scarred wing to play with her. “I’m doing good. I really am.” She smiled. “I don’t think you need to worry about me anymore.”

He chuckled. “Well, I’ll never stop worrying. That’s sort of my job.” Ash shrugged, feeling the weight of Sight for the Blind on his shoulder. He gave the little filly a last tickle, his wicked talons gentle with the young zony. Standing, he tipped the edge of his hood like a hat. His tone formal, he bid them farewell. “Ladies.”

Back in the streets, the rain was beginning to let up, and ponies were coming out of their homes. There was always something to be done. Repairs to be made, dangers to be faced. Above and below. The wasteland was still a dangerous place, for everyone. Ash nodded at the Whitecoats scattered amongst the various refugees.

The griffin was a member in every way except officially. He’d never donned the white, as they called it. He’d just fought alongside them so frequently that they had come to see him as one of their own. He was friends with their head trainer, and had helped their leader Vigil pull them out of the ruin they had been in after the Battle of Blank. They had a home now, a place to fight for. Some of them had started families. The wandering army they once were was gone, and they’d slid easily into the role of regional guardians.

Mostly. Some of the Whitecoats had been infuriated at the ‘defection’ from their nomadic ways. In the first days, about half of their number had left. There had been no word from them in over a year, and most folks had forgotten about them. Ash knew that Shade still worried. The leader of that splinter faction had threatened her, threatened Ripple, in the past.

“Hey, Ash! Look alive!” The griffin snapped out of it, and realized that a pony had been walking next to him. Looking down, he saw the shriveled flesh and melted gasmask of Viola. The mare was looking expectantly, like she was waiting for an answer.

“Sorry, what?”

She sighed, and repeated herself. “Did you hear about the latest attack?”

He stopped and turned to face her, putting his claws on the revolver at his side. “Attack? Where?”

Waving a fetlock, she motioned down his gun. He always got jumpy at the mention of attack. The smile in her eyes told him she’d worded it so that she could get a rise out of him. “Oh, it was three days ago.”

The look in her eyes was then no longer one of laughter. It was grim, and it was serious. “Those things are getting more bold. Gnashers we can handle... but those things? They’re just not right... not right at all.”

“Dwellers? How many did we lose?” After Maremack, the monsters had come down the mountain. Without Epiphany, they had scattered, and made their ways into the deep, dark areas of Hornsmith.

“Just one. Cannon. Got pulled into an air duct while he was guarding a repair team.” She sighed, but they both knew what that meant. A stallion got taken. That meant he was eaten, and not... used. They’d both seen what happened if a mare got taken. Eaten was preferable.

Griffin and ghoul shuddered in unison, and then kept walking.

“Torque came up with a plan though.” Viola was smiling again. While she had settled down, that mare still jumped emotions too fast to follow. “We send another salvage team up into Maremack. Take a few wagons, and focus on stripping every turret we can find. Wire them up, provide ammunition, and we could really put a dent in their attacks.” She stamped a hoof for emphasis. “Let them go off and eat somepony else for a change.”


“Here’s hoping. Let them burn and eat each other to their hearts’ content.” Viola shrugged, clearly hoping that her job would get a little easier. Rail Spikes had given up the security life, instead helping to manage the merging of the Underhoofers and the ponies from aboveground. Viola had been in charge of security since, and the job took up most of the mercurial mare’s time. Ash pitched in where he could, but he was a busy griffin. He knew that Viola hadn’t just brought this up to get him up to speed.

“Okay Viola, I’m in on the scavenger hunt. Keep me informed.” She nodded happily that he had accepted her unasked request, and thanked him. The ghoul disappeared into a side street, headed towards one of the ways underground.

“Just so long as I don’t have to go into the tunnels...” He muttered under his breath. Walking the streets, he greeted ponies he recognized, and eyed warily the ones he didn’t.

He came to a large building, one of the few that was still serving the same purpose it had before the war. It was a storehouse. Weapons, food, supplies of all sorts. Almost everything the town was kept here, and it was easily the most defended building in the entire settlement. Two Whitecoats in heavy barding stood near the main door, support weapons slung on their sides. They wore gas masks, to add to the intimidation as faceless sentinels. It worked; there hadn’t been a single attempt to steal since the guards had been implemented.

Ash nodded at them, and they let him through. The space inside was cavernous, but cluttered. Piles of supplies scavenged or traded were stacked to the roof in some places. Rows of weapons were in neat stacks along one wall. Most of their armory was what they could salvage out of the ruins of Neighwhere before the surviving raiders pushed them out.

A rustling to his side made Ash jump, and an unamused Gristle walked past him. “More stuff for me to catalog? I’m busy. Torque has me looking for a samophlange. I’m pretty sure he made that word up... but I gotta look anyways. Just dump the bag over there and go.”

Ash took the bag of supplies off his shoulder and dropped it on the table, watching the little blue buck rifle through a cabinet filled with mechanical parts. Ash knew what Torque would be working on before he even looked towards the back of the warehouse.

The severed head of one of those giant robots the Rangers had used, its optics crudely removed at some point in the past. It had been about a half a year after Maremack that Ash had run across the robot, trapped in a gully. It had run out of power some time before he’d found it, and had sat there inactive. He’d only spotted it because he’d been flying. The robot itself was far too cumbersome to get out, but they had removed its head to try and make use of the heavy weaponry set into it.

Ever since, the head and its weapons had lurked at the rear of the warehouse. Torque had made it his pet project, trying to understand how it all worked, just in case the Rangers ever decided to turn the other two of its kind on the town.

The Rangers had taken what they could and retreated back to Orchard. They’d mostly taken the bodies and armor of their fallen comrades, but they’d torn quite a bit of hardware out of the facility before Ash had led the first salvage team back up the mountain. Since then, the Rangers had been practically a non-entity in Hornsmith. If anypony was dumb enough to go near Orchard, they’d be killed on sight, but other than that there had been no activity.

Torque was half inside the head through a maintenance hatch, and his humming could be heard reverberating through the machine. Ash didn’t like interrupting him when he was working though, so turned to leave. He’d done what he had come to do. Gristle had disappeared into another pile of equipment, so Ash just made his leave without saying anything to either stallion.

Outside, past the guards, he looked up at the cloudy sky. It was getting late, and he felt that he’d earned some rest. Mind set, he turned and walked down the street towards the main gate.

Ash stopped under an awning, watching each face as they passed by him. Coming through the front gate was a caravan from the east, if he had to guess at their origin. As he watched, he ran a talon along his hand, where his friend’s daughter had clung earlier. He sighed, opening the door he’d been leaning against and heading up the stairs. The top floor was where he called home. The room held a few mementoes and prizes the griffin had accumulated over the years, but the most important thing was what he had hidden away. Wiping moisture from Sight for the blind, he hung the large rifle on its stand.

In the fading light he lit a candle, preferring the flickering firelight to the hum of the lamp he had propped in one corner. He dropped his bag on the ground, intending to deal with it later, and took off his travelling cloak. Slicking the feathers on his head back with one claw, he scanned the room. He didn’t lock the door while he was gone, in case the girls had any reason to come in. Everything was in its place, as usual.

He flopped onto the nestlike assortment of mattresses and blankets he’d accumulated, letting the last few weeks of stress slip away. Reaching into a hidden place under the table next to him, he pulled out a beaten book, bound in fading leather. The quill and ink on the table sat ready for him, and he was writing in seconds.

Hey, Kick.

Your daughter looks ridiculous. Just like you. She reminds us of you... she has one of your eyes. Wish you could meet her, but let’s face it... you’re dead. This will be the last time I do this. I have to move on... I have to face facts. It will never be the same without you, but I have to admit that you’re not coming back. Ponies rely on me now. This used to be your job, and I really hope that I can make you proud here.

You did good. The wasteland is a better place now.

Goodbye Ripple.

He stared at the letter for a few minutes, letting it sink in. He had to come to terms. He had to stop writing to a dead friend.

Tearing the page out of the book, he held the message before him, reading it one more time. With a single motion, he dipped the page into the flame, letting it catch fire. The old paper went up quick, but he held on even as the flame danced around his talons. The burnt paper crumbled and drifted softly to the floor.

Closing the journal, he briefly considered burning the rest of it. Deciding against destroying history, he tucked the book back in its secret spot and blew out the candle. Night was setting in outside, and he let the darkness wash into the room.

Staring at the ceiling, he smiled sadly to himself. The sound of rain on the roof was all he could hear. Rain was one of the few constants in his life.

Author's Note:

And that's that. The epilogue ties up all the loose ends I'm willing to tie right now. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much to Kkat for writing the original story. Leave a comment, let me know what you all thought.

Comments ( 108 )

Nononono. You're not allowed to give up Ash. Get your ass outside and keep looking!

i still think he is alive. They only found his one leg, the one that got cut off then healed as a stub. No wonder it fell off, but no out of control wounds means that he has at least a better chance of him being alive than Ash and everyone thinks.

Thoughts before reading epilogue: "YAY! Epilogue! Finally all those loose ends will be tied!"

Thoughts after reading epilogue: "Ash, if you will give up, i will find you and you will not like what will come. Oh, and Fallingsnow, if you will not write some sequell when you ensure happy ending (or at least not "main protagonist is dead or not" ending), I will find you and you will not like what will happen to you!" (nah, I am kidding, Ash would shred me to little pieces ... but seriously, you need to write some sequel)

But Guise of Chaos is one hell of a story, and I know i have already said this, but ... Thanks for writing it! Actually, right now is Guise of Chaos the second/third (shared position with Pink Eyes) best finished FoE story.

Oh and i still have hope that Ripple is alive, somewhere, somehow ...

Oh Ash don't worry Ripple'll end up at the gates of the town half dead with an amazing story to tell, because that's the way thing work. or else

thirty bucks he got blown straight to th' Canterlot ruins by th' blast. i mean, it was th' explosion of a body housing a spirit of chaos.

Aww, Shade isn't alone and they all have a living memento of Ripple... I don't need anything else :fluttercry:

R.I.P. Ripple
Overall I quite enjoyed the story and as far as stories go it' up in my top three sidestories(which I refuse to put into any order, because I can't decide, ever).
Not too many loose ends opened, not too many closed.
OCD people will go nuts, but never (for example) knowing where when why and how Broken came to be and enter Two Kick and then Ripple's possession is something that's a tease, certainly, but there's a certain satisfaction in knowing that you, the author, had the stones to pull it and many other things off and pull them off well.

...now, I'd write more, but it's 2:30AM and I have to be awake in ...4 hours.


Great closure, but a sad end for one of the FOE sidestories' greatest characters.

Well, if Gristle's looking for a samophlange, tell him to go see Panthro - I'm sure he'll have a spare.

Okay, well that's better at least. I'm satisfied. Mostly. There's still the matter of Cutter, Cinder, Broken Arrow, and everything else. Though, then again, sequel. For what we've got, I'm satisfied. Nice job transitioning to third person. It really makes this all the more jarring.

And dammit, we didn't even get the daughter's name.

WoW that was great mate. That ending was amazing everything was tied up. But I'm still sad for Ripple but with Two Kick still in his head maybe it was for the best. He might of got out and hurt someone he loved.
And congratulations on being one of the few FALLOUT EQUESTRIA sid fic to actually have a ending so far. Most people give up or are still writing theirs.


Not what I wished of the epilogue but it is acceptable. I look forward to your continued writtings.

So he's really gone, huh? What a shame.... BUT this is a Fallout story and we all knew it might end that way, and knowing that the rest of them is living a productive (if slightly depressed) life already makes it only half as sad. So yea, again, thank you very very much for writing this and best of luck with whatever you plan to do next. :pinkiehappy:

I'm trying to come up with how I feel right now. It's hard.

I feel like you wrote a story about revenge that turned into one about sacrifice. Death destruction and pain riddled this story, but in the end you found a way to leave the world you made a brighter place. Ripple may not have turned the world back into its former state, but I think he left it better off than it was before. Wherever Ripple is he can rest knowing that he tried to do better.

Thanks for writing a good story.

The ending was satisfying, the epilogue even more fulfilling. I had no complaints about how it ended originally, because I knew there would be an epilogue. Epilogue's are like a staple of Fallout: Equestria stories, you can't end a story usually without tying up some of the loose ends. Unless you have a sequel which picks up directly after the first story ended.

Good job on the Epilogue FallingSnow, I look forward to whatever you write next ;).

Thanks Tonto, glad you liked it.

Just like Ripple, how I planned on taking the story changed over time. Its just how the story turned out.

Thanks Joey. I tried to keep it from being too sad.
Well, can't make everyone happy. Imagine if I hadn't written an epilogue, and just left it where I did?

Thanks Regolit. Though your comment here has actually discussed on the IRC. Mostly the writing clop part, which I won't do. But I won't stop others from doing for my story. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

Yeah, Ripple couldn't stay around safely. As for having one of the few finished stories, mine is the longest by around 100k words after Pink Eyes. So I got that claim to fame as well, at least until other authors pass me on that.

Well, the epilogue tied up all the ends I wanted tied up. For the rest... that'll just have to wait. I also left out her name on purpose. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_2.png

Yeah, I've always loved that quote, and I needed to use a mechanical part of complexity and description unknown. Which is perfectly a samophlange.

Thanks, glad you like how I pulled it off.

Thanks for the praise. As for any mysteries: never say never. ...I miss the days when that wasn't a reference to a shitty documentary.

Yeah, I think she might have been the character most readers were concerned for. I did leave her in a bad place before the epilogue, but giving her something else made me smile as I wrote it.

Explosion took out the top part of a mountain. Wherever Rip is, he's probably decently singed.

Is that a threat? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png Heh, the stories would be pretty epic.

I do have plans for a sequel. While Ripple's story is over, there are others characters who can have one. Thanks for the love, glad you liked it.

Yeah, everyone has their theories. True, he was healed, but he was also point blank with an explosion that ripped a mountain apart. Who knows? (I do, and I'm not telling) dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

He's got other ponies to take care of. He's got to prioritize, but he'll still keep an eye out.

2333197 never said he wasn't

2333197 Please don't get me wrong sir I loved your story. Third best foe fic ive read. You just left so many questions unanswered.

Well now. That explained absolutely nothing on Ripple's fate... but it was a really nice epilogue. Well done, Snow. :moustache:

A few final corrections: :trollestia:
> its crazy up north
> She’d buried her closest friend alone, and come back with the hefty weapon
Should be "and had come back". You can't imply repetition on half of a verb construction.
> scattered amongst the various refugees..
Two periods at the end

For the rest, you still refer to Ash's claws as 'hands' from time to time, but eh, I guess I could excuse that...

Do you have a name for Ripple's most important legacy or will she stay the "white filly"? :twilightsmile:

Thanks Nyer. As for the hands thing... really that's what they are in both form and function, so I think the word fits.

She's staying "white filly" for a while.

lol, so long as the next chapter, or next story, doesn't start:
"The rain came down, one of the few constants in life. Hardship, pain, killing. Rain. Always the rain. It hurt more today than usual and I lifted a hoof to my forehead. Thinking back, I didn't know where I was, what had happened, or what day it was."
Although that would be interesting...Ripple is almost killed by the explosion, and wakes up face down in the mud, with no memory. But now TWO voices in his head, which hate each other. lol

Oh, the above quote is the first line from Chapter 1. I claim NO ownership of it, that goes to Fallingsnow.

And so Ash became Lucas Simms, and Hoof became Megaton. That wraps things up pretty nicely, but leaves it open for the future. Nice job!

Nah, one of the remaining group will wake up and Ripple will just be there, unconcious in the middle of the room.

This is a wonderful conclusion to what has been quite possibly one of the greatest stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I know I haven't put much of anything resembling a review in any comments before, or at least barely any reviews, so I'll review the epilogue and any matters from earlier in the story I feel tie into the epilogue.
First is the last sentence, which I recognize from the very first chapter. Rain being one of the few constants, and all that. While it doesn't make too much difference, I say it's a nice touch. Gives the story a sense that it's come full circle, that it's whole and complete.
Next, there's Shade's foal. Now, first I'd like to say how amazing it is that the whole romance between Ripple and Shade felt so natural despite it being, as some people put it, rushed. But it's the wasteland, so it works. After all, love is fleeting, and so is life in the wasteland, so people make what they can of it when they can. Now back to the foal; I think the foal helps drive home that while Ripple may be gone, he did make the world better, and brought good things into the world where before there was only bad. The foal is sort of a physical representation of that, being so young and innocent in what once was such an unforgiving world.
There's plenty more to praise you on, and plenty more intricacies to talk about, but I think I'll leave off with the mos important one. You left several things throughout the story open-ended to some degree. We know Cinder(I think that was her name?) was convinced by Two-Kick to take over Neighwhere, but we never see the aftermath. We know Ripple's sister left to go on her own journey, but we have no idea where she went. We know of the Endless, but we have scarcely any idea how they came about and for what purpose. We know Ripple (probably) killed Hate/Pandemonium, and that there's a good chance he's still alive, but we don't know where. We also never found out the truth about Broken, which is conveniently still around. And finally, there's Ripple and Shade's foal. I'm not sure why, but it feels important that we aren't told the foal's name. Now, while these may all seem like complaints, I haven't finished just yet. What I mean to say here is it felt like you left all these loose ends on purpose. Considering the story can stand by itself well enough, it feels like what you did was you left just enough open so the story is complete, but you can also feasibly make a sequel if you so wish. And really, that's an impressive feat. It's very rare for there to be a story that feels complete but leaves enough open so that a sequel is still perfectly reasonable.
All in all, this is definitely among my favorite fanfics of all time. It's been a pleasure reading it, and I hope that it isn't the last I see of your brilliant writing.

Thank you so much for the glowing review .
As for all the loose ends, I did intentionally leave them that way. Ripple's story is over, but I've still got more to write. I can't say much else without spoiling things, but I am fully planning on writing more. Just taking a bit of a break after 14 months.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the story, and thank you for taking the time to review it. Do so love hearing that people enjoy my story.

Oh man. That was amazing. I am so glad I stumbled upon this one day and decided to read it. That was a great ending, and I really enjoyed watching you progress as a writer throughout the whole story. I can't wait to read more things you decide to write! Oh, and I, personally, am okay with all the loose ends, they were ones that made sense, and I think you tied off the story beautifully.

One of the best FO:E fics that has been written. Undoubtedly on par with Project Horizons, Murky Number Seven and The Last Sentinel. Good show, sir, you are an artist!:heart:

The ending feels hollow. The rest of the story is phenomenal, but the ending is...

He was max pre-amnesia, and he just needs to relearn those skills. (Really, I forgot to add them in until I was too far into it.)

When I started playing Krieg, I immediately noticed that there is a definite similarity, just with the roles a little switched.

Pink eye's only second? Which one's first?

its not exactly a brain teaser :D, but the original Fallout Equestria simply has something more to it. That said, when Project Horizons will be finished, it will be the best finished FoE story without debate.

Oh you were including the original, not sure why I excluded that from my mental list :S

You've raised my hopes and :rainbowkiss:ed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo. Can't wait for the sequel.


Glad you're enjoying it. Think you're the first to cheer for my Rangers though :rainbowlaugh:


Thanks for reading it. This story was my first, so it was really just a learning experience of what I should and shouldn't do.

Meanwhile right after the explosion:
Ripple looks around and all he can see is snow and a dead red pony, "Damnit."

Enjoyed reading this very much, great work. The pacing was just right for me, I literally couldn't put this thing down at times. Also, not as dark as some other FOE stuff (I'm looking at you, Project Horizons), which was a nice change.
The romance-y stuff was nicely written, even though I am kinda disappointed by how it turned out in the end. Well, can't have everything, I guess.

What I kinda missed: Broken's backstory (I was betting good bits on it being a soul jar that held Two Kick's personality). Maybe a little more background for the projects (even though it would probably destroyed the pacing, so... not that big of a bummer). The final confrontation (Rip vs. Hate) could have been a little more detailed.

Again, great work, thank you for this! :twilightsmile:


Glad you enjoyed it. As for what you missed, it just didn't really have a place in the story. Ripple never really questioned Broken, which has accumulated theories. The soul jar theory is the prevailing one, but it's still up in the air about what it actually is (Don't worry, this'll be covered later *wink*). The details of the projects weren't important to him either, just what the end result was.

Atmospheric water vapor frozen into ice crystals and falling in light white flakes or lying on the ground as a white layer.

I am assuming you're talking about Sweeps.

Gotta say, despite a bittersweet ending i enjoyed the whole story quite a bit. Thanks for writing this little tale,

I was a tad unsure about reading it in the beginning, so many FoE fics, its hard to find the good ones and im glad i found this one.

Thanks. Glad you liked it, even with the ending.

Well, that was a fun ride. I enjoyed Ripple-TwoKick's madness. Ash has been good funs too, but my mental imagery decided to make him a sexy beast of a Griff.

I'll probably read this again in the future.

From start to finish, I likely guessed he would meet an end. Yet, the story is good, your style of writing, fits to the nature of this place so well. The work is fun to read, brutal, uncompromising, but what you have done is a great story, and I am very glad to have been linked to this story by the author of Project Starlight.

I wish I could do a more comprehensive review on what was good about this, and it was, trust me there, as this is a damned good story. But once it settles I will try.

I hadn't thought of that connection, but that type of character does appeal to me. :rainbowlaugh:


Boooooom! That was an amazing story and I'm so glad I got the privilege to read it! I'll be taking a break from big fanfictions for awhile now but that, that was amazing overall 9/10. I cant give a 10/10 score cause of all the spelling, grammar and continuity errors I noticed throughout the book. The one that kept nagging on me the whole time was somewhere early on Ripple pocketed a memory orb, I remember him saying he'd view it later but after the vines memory orb he wasn't sure. Did you forget about that or did I miss the reason he never viewed it?
Also I totally called Ripple having a Paragon sibling from the beginning, I even got the member right too!

Thanks. Guess even with up to 3 people checking my work, spelling and grammar slip through. As for the continuity errors... that's totally my complete lack of organization.

I probably should have mentioned it more, but after the vines orb, he was actually afraid of using one again.

That was one hell of a ride! 10\10!

What a great ending for one great ride. Really good work from start to finish, it was amazing to see how the story unveiled and developed itself. This is, without a doubt, one of the best sidefics I've read so far.

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