• Member Since 16th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen May 2nd, 2014

Fluttershy Yay lover


E

While struggling to overcome their feeling for some very handsome colts, the mane 6 write of there adventures in one single diary. See how they get there hooves badly stuck in the mud, and see if they have sucess in pulling them out.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 47 )

I am switching who the pegasi are SUPPOSED to love. Translation::rainbowkiss:+:eeyup: and :fluttershysad: + ?

You do NOT need that many tags.

How many characters did I just see there? :raritydespair:

Add a celestia and luna dairy as a bonus and your set :rainbowdetermined2:

I'm pretty sure that is over five characters...

536313 I made it before that rule was even made. :twilightsmile:

536313 I made it before that rule was even made. :twilightblush:

Is anybody actually reading the story, or are you just gonna talk about how many characters I have? :flutterrage::fluttercry:

What? I can barely comprehend what I'm reading. There's no clear distinction of Big Mac's feelings ... or Applejack's for that matter. :facehoof:

Also, writing in the first person perspective of one of the mane 6 usually doesn't work well, unless the whole story revolves around them and their inner thoughts.

536335

Is it okay if I talk about how MS Paint should never ever never be used to draw the cover art for any story anywhere, ever?

137067 But it is :rainbowwild: + :eeyup: , not :yay: + :eeyup:

536386 i use paint to make my cover images :derpytongue2: it works, if you know what you're doing they come out pretty well

536460

This.

Also, once again, no CLEAR distinction of Twilight's feelings. Not only that, but the way she writes seems incredibly OOC. I'd think she'd write more formal, I could understand Applejack writing in the way she did (somewhat) but Twilight writes letters to Princess Celestia all the time so I think she'd know how to write with some formality.

I'm more interested in the sappy romance story Rarity is reading than this one. :twilightsheepish:

Okay, okay, sorry. That was rude and immature.

536514 I'm kinda ready to throw my hands up in the air now. I KNOW I can't please everpony, but I didn't expect THIS much criticism! Jeez. . .:twilightangry2::raritycry::flutterrage:

536534 maybe yet i find it true. I mean Blueblood really she wanted to kill the bastard and here i was hoping poor Spike might get some attention and love at least in her diary :fluttercry:

536573

Well, I'm trying to show some constructive criticism here.

536514 Twilight doesn't write shit that is all Spike, Celestia just reads it in her voice Spike's the one who makes it all pretty :raritywink:

536590 I'm sorry. . .but really? 11 dislikes? That fast? Can people even READ that fast?

536638

Yes. I didn't even dislike it, either.

Without trying to sound like a show-off or a brag, it took me about 1-2 minutes to read each chapter. They're REALLY short. Especially in comparison to the other stories on here. An average length chapter of a story on here is about 3000 or so words.

So, incredibly OOC. Pinkie didn't even act like this in Party of One. Also, I burst out laughing at "Shh! No words. Just passion."

MY JIMMIES ARE ETERNAL.

Even if you made the story before the rule, the rule was made to limit the tags. I am CERTAIN all these characters are NOT main characters. The tags are for main character only. The rule applies to ALL stories including retrospectively. You need to rethink who is a main character in your story and remove some of these tags.

Secondly your "chapters" are hardly even essays. A "chapter" should be at LEAST 2,500 words in my opinion, but at the MINIMUM 1,500 for anything QUALITY.

536581 I know, I speak a little French. ( Or at least Google Translate does. :derpytongue2: ) So swearing is only ok in French? You couldn't have said " That little jerk!" weak, I know, but something along those lines. I just find it odd that Twi speaks French

I would consider an average chapter to be around 2000 words (Tripartite has 2700, the first chapter of TCB: C12-17 has 1700 because I ran out of ideas). One-shots should be at least 2500 words (the EqD guideline for submitting). But this? :facehoof:

TWALAGHT SPARKLE'S SPEAKING' IN FANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

For some reason.:applejackconfused:

Wait, so Rarity had a terrible experience with Bueblood, who was an absolute cad to her... And you say that she still likes him?!

Congratulations, Fluttershy Yay Lover, I now present you with the Totally and Completely Understands Women Trophy.

Wait, this is a trollfic, isn't it?

Ha, you almost had me.

536765 Well it is magic! :pinkiesmile: You cannnot really question it, now can you?:rainbowhuh:

537393 Now my fave pony is you 'cause you don't critisize, you laugh!:yay: Good teasing of course. :derpytongue2:

536534 LOL ish fine. that's actually a sample of writing I was doing called The Girl with Lace main character BFF dies :raritycry::pinkiesmile:

537168 read Rainbow dash. LOOOAADS of better-ness:rainbowdetermined2:

I really don't get why this has so many dislikes. I don't agree with all the shippings, and it's not my favorite fic, but it doesn't deserve this many dislikes.

669902 thank you! i've been wondering if anyone else thought this:trixieshiftright:

Normally I wouldn't do this, but in the interest of helping you improve your writing (or at the very least, this story) I'm going to take some time, go through this story and point out things that could have been done better and what could have been done better about them....


(from one author to another, any constructive criticism should be valued. Or at least considered. Just my personal opinion)

link to the edit.

OMG WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK?!?!

536677 But she didn't act that way in Cupcakes either:pinkiecrazy:

Okay everypony, I just updated this chapter because it doesn't make sense. How could Dash be in it if she was on her way to the Acres? So Dash is now Derpy:derpytongue2:

3092952 I don't remember commenting on this story, or what the context behind my comment is, but I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be sarcastic and at the story's expense, so.

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