I stared hard at Pumpkin Cake's beady little eyes, ever so slightly raising my hoof to stop Pumpkin Cake's bear from flying into my face every 2 seconds. Pound Cake started to giggle gleefully.
"No! Pumpkin, stop throwing that damned bear in my face!!" I screeched. Pumpkin Cake started to overexertingly pout. "Stop pouting!!" I shouted again, having a sudden desire for a certain stallion to shimmy his way into helping me. Pumpkin Cake screamed deafeningly in my ear. "Pumpkin Cake, if you don't stop being in your royal little snit, I'm gonna tear that face of yours off your tiny little head! Understood!?" My poofy hair suddenly went flat. Pumpkin Cake only cried harder. I needed to stop the God awful crying. Because soon enough, Pound Cake would start up, too. And I couldn't take that at all. "Okay, okay, shhhh, shhhh!" I said half-heartedly. "Calm down, Auntie Pinkie Pie is here. Yes, that's right, shhh shh shhhh." Pumpkin Cake flopped down on the ground, expecting a tummy rub. One that I wasn't going to give her.
"We're hooooooome!" Mrs. Cake announced, trotting in, taking a second to notice my hair. "Oh, Pinkie, were they that much trouble again!? If you don't want to continue babysitting them, I completely understand. Many others are more than happy to." I frowned. I hated to sit them, but I still wanted seem responsible. But I hated watching them more. My hair went flat about 2 times a week because of those damned twins.
"I will never sit them again. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cake, but I can't stand them anymore."
"Sweetie, I understand completely. I guess Carrot Cake and I should be more strict huh?" She sighed. "Which one was the bigger problem today anyway?" That rhymed! I almost pointed out.
"Pumpkin Cake. She's going wild with magical surges. She kept hitting my face with that ugly bug-eyed teddy bear. And it felt like 3 hundred pounds of knives were in there. Try to duck." I grimaced at the twins. Pound Cake was holding Pumpkin Cake and moving towards me. The next thing I knew, I heard Pumpkin's deafening scream in my ear again. "GOD, WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?!?" I screamed before bursting into tears and galloping to my room. Downstairs, I heard muffled voices and pounding (probably Pound Cake) and soon, trotting. Someone knocked on my door. I sniffed, and to my delight, it was Mr. Cake.
"Mr. Cake I-" I started. But he put his hoof to my lips.
"Shh! No words. Just passion." He leaned his face close to mine. I could smell his breath. He had had vodka. His lips brought themselves to mine. Soon we were passionately kissing for a whole second. Then two. Then three. Then four. When we finally departed, a smile was stretched across Mr. Cake's lips. I knew what my face looked like. It looked horrified. "You have no idea how long I've waited to do that." Carrot Cake said.
"Let's never do that again," I said softly. A sudden flash of disappointment ran across his face. I thrust my face toward his, pulling him into a deeper embrace than before, this time more passion, harder. His eyes widened with surprise, and quickly closed, returning the favor. We kissed for ten seconds. To me, it was complete satisfaction. But my hair stayed strait. Mr. Cake blushed and smiled weakly. He trotted away quickly, taking my heart with him.
*********
A few hours later, my hair remained strait, a yellow-maned, pebble-gray pegasus came to my room. When she saw my hair, Derpy did a double take.
"Have they been replaced by a bucket of rocks again?" She asked. I shook my head. "The twins, then?" I bobbed my head, sighing. "Did you quit?"
"Well, der!" I snapped. Derpy took a big step away. I sighed. . . again. "Sorry," I squeaked vulnerably.
"Pinkie," Derpy said slowly. "What actually happened?" Tears spilled from my eyes as I told her the whole story. The twins, and Mr. Cake. Derpy's eyes widened as I told her. "Wow. So Mr. Cake is. . .cheating on Mrs. Cake. . .with you?" I nodded. "Oh," Derpy trotted toward me and hugged me. "Don't worry, Pinkie, it will all work out in the end. I promise." I sniffed.
"You really think so?" I asked shyly. She nodded. "That's just what I like about you Derpy," I said. "You're always so sweet!" Derpy laughed.
"Well, I am one of the nicest ponies around, I learned from the best, after all!" I giggled. We let go of each other. "But Pinkie," She said seriously.
"Pinkamena." I whispered sternly.
"What?" Derpy said, startled.
"My name is Pinkamena. Don't call me Pinkie, or Pinkie Pie. Call me Pinkamena, or Pinkamena Dianne, or Pinkamena Dianne Pie. Just please, no Pinkie."
"Whatever. At some point though, Mrs. Cake'll find out." Derpy said.
"NEVER SAY THAT!!!" I shouted. Derpy backed away. "I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!!!"
"Pinkamena-" Derpy started.
"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!! I'VE HAD A HARD DAY AND I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!!!" She left. Later in the evening, when I was in bed, I cried myself to sleep. Mrs. Cake just couldn't find out. Or, could she?