Tasty
The C.B.O. was staring with his tomato eyes unto the horizon that was glaring over ponyville. C.B.O. never felt such a sensation of warmth and happiness in his entire life. It was his time to take over Ponyville and instill his iron will into the pony regime, this excited him. His buns were flapping in the wind and his cheese started to flow off into the ground. C.B.O. rolled from the high mound that he was looking onward at Ponyville and continued to roll through the dirt and rock of the ground until he found the sidewalk of Sugar Cube Corner. He finally rolled up to the door of Sugar Cube Corner and knocked on it with his bacon. The loud thud awakened a tired Pinkie Pie, who hugged her pillow aggresively before getting out of her candy cane bed and then crawling out of her room to meet the loud guest that woke her. Pinkie Pie opened the door to find a mishapen C.B.O. on the front of her doorstep. Pinkie Pie's eyes gleamed and her face smiled for the love of her life had returned to her.
"Yay! C.B.O. my love where have you been? It has been so long!" said the enthusiastic pony while she grabbed and hugged the sandwitch with all of her might.
"Pinkie yer.. crushing... me!" said the Sandwitch as he was bieng smooshed by Pinkie Pie's hoofs.
"Oh sorry C.B.O. its just it has been seven years since your exile! When Celestia kicked you out of Equestria and sent you to the desert for trying to overthrow her."
"Yep good times, but enough reminiscing I need your help to overthrow Celestia again. Do you have all of my weapons?"
"I have them in the basement! I'll be back in a minute."
Pinkie Pie trudged until she reached the door to the basement on the floor. She opened it up and hopped in landing perfectly on the floor of the basement without descending the stairs. The basement was dusty and groggy and had many boxes strewn about the area. Pinkie Pie looked and found a suitcase right in the middle of the room with a couple of boxes surrounding it. She grabbed the handle of the suitcase and carried it up the stairs to the living room where she then met C.B.O. just sitting calmly on a couch.
"Here.. it... is!" said Pinkie Pie as she threw the large suitcase up into the living room breathing heavily after the ordeal. C.B.O. got off the chair and and got close to the suitcase and pulled out a key from his meat flaps. He then inserted the the golden key that shined a brilliant color and unlocked the suitcase revealing double assault rifles in gold.
"Gold was always your thing, like those hot golden buns of yours..." said Pinkie Pie as she got up from the basement.
Pinkie Pie leaned close to C.B.O. and kissed his buns romantically with full tongue while picking him up close to her face. C.B.O. had been so secluded for so long in the desert that he began to put his lettuce deep in her mouth with effort. The two kissed furiously and started to grope each others buns. C.B.O. stretched his bacon unto Pinkie Pie's butt, whilst Pinkie Pie carressed his golden buns, they were both soft to the touch. C.B.O. wanted to be with his love for so long but, he had to relieve Celestia of her position before it was too late. C.B.O. with his bacon pushed back Pinkie's face from his buns and smiled to her confused face.
"I'm sorry beautiful but, I have to take down Celestia as fast as possible."
"Why does it have to be now!? I love you." said Pinkie Pie.
"My time is running short and I will soon turn moldy and grey but, before that happens, I must stop Celestia before she turns everypony into sandwitches like she did to me."
"I know baby, I'll let you go for now." said Pinkie Pie.
"Goodbye my love, I will return to you soon." said C.B.O. as he picked up the assault rifles and exited Sugar Cube Corner.
"Goodbye Sweet buns." whispered Pinkie Pie to herself as she watched her love bounce away from her.
C.B.O. bounced all the way to the Royal Castle where he shot to death all the guards that stood in his way. Wave after wave of guards attacked C.B.O. with spears and arrows but, all aggressiveness towards C.B.O. were for naught because he wiped them all out. He then finally arrived to the door to Celestia's chambers to then kick open the door with his bacon feet and storm in instantly. He screamed out "Celestia!" as loud as he could and fired shots at the weirdly calm Celestia who sat on her royal chair. Before the shots were about to hit her, a sudden flash of light came and deflected the shots away towards the wall. Standing in front of her protecting her was none other than Dorito's Loco Taco with a samurai sword held by his bean arms.
"Hello C.B.O., we meet again" said Celestia.
"Celestia how could you do this to Ponykind?, the ponies who love and cherish you!" said C.B.O.
"Hah I grow weary of Ponies and their ways, I believe that sandwitches are the superior race that will guide us to the future and you will not stop the better future for us all!"
"Your a madpony hellbent on turning us all into food! Seriously who put L.S.D. in you cornflakes?" said C.B.O.
"Enough! Finish him off Doritos Loco Taco for the motherland!" said Celestia.
"Yes Celestia." said the Doritos Loco Taco.
The Doritos Loco Taco charged at C.B.O., C.B.O. retaliated with a flurry of bullets at Doritos Loco Taco. A spray of bullets were then deflected by D.L.T.'s blade and hit the wall once again. D.L.T. got very close, very fast and made a swipe with his sword almost cutting C.B.O.'s golden buns. C.B.O. dodged out of the way but, he got some of his bacon cut off. Celestia smelling the free bacon dived forward and ate the piece. Seeing this C.B.O. pointed his dual rifles at Celestia but before he could fire D.L.T. continued to swipe at C.B.O. furiously causing C.B.O. to lose his aim and jump back from D.L.T.'s sword swipes. Celestia then teleported to her chair where she continued to watch the fight. D.L.T. ran at C.B.O. which C.B.O. retaliated again with gunfire but, as he clicked on the trigger there was a click sound from the guns, C.B.O. ran out of bullets. D.L.T. ran and jumped to perform the finishing blow on C.B.O. but, with his dual rifles he threw them at D.L.T. getting hit square in the taco shell causing D.L.T. to spiral out of control in the air. It was C.B.O.'s chance, he jumped into the air and punched D.L.T. as hard as possible with his bacon arms which made D.L.T. break into chunky taco pieces all over the floor. B.C.O. breathed heavily for the amount of work he was just put through then he heard a laughter from Celestia.
"Face me yourself coward!" screamed B.C.O. at Princess Celestia.
"Hmmph, I would destroy you but, you see this Princess is in another castle!"
The image of Princess Celestia began to flicker on and off, it was all just a hologram.
"But... how did you eat my bacon?" said the confused meal.
"The newest in hologram technology, I can taste the meat inside me even though I am far, far away. One day C.B.O. I will destroy you. For now you are just going to have to deal with my army of food!"
Celestia laughed a diabolical and evil laugh and then began to fade out revealing a piece of bacon on top of the chair.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed C.B.O. as heavily as possible while he bent down on the floor on his bacon knees.
End of Part 1
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Dear. God.
1703295 God. Dear.
This is a very weird story!
Funny, but poorly written.
1703302
Gear. Dod.
1703335 BEER. COD.
1703363
QUEER POD
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/185/911/Troll%20twitch.gif
... In all seriousness, though, I have to admit this is a pretty magnificent trollfic. Upthumb for that, at least.
Sorry to say this, but perhaps you should stick to writing stories. The idea was kind of funny, but not too many people want to read stories where you purposely try to make the characters act out of character.
1703387 SEAR JOS
1703363
Call of Duty: BEERS?
now that would pep that game up for a change
1703403 EVERYONE'S DRUNK
1703406
best drunk mod evar!
mememaker.net/static/images/memes/131528.jpg
1703295>>1703302>>1703322>>1703387>>1703391>>1703393>>1703394>>1703403>>1703446
LOL ROFL this shit is the shit ami rite? LOL ROFL I ate a quarter-pounder burger this morning, I HAVE BETRAYED YOU OH MAGNIFICENT C.B.O. PLEASE SPARE ME! anywhoo hope you enjoyed this story!
1703501 FEAR MODS
1703335 1703363 1703387
I expect this from Regidar, but you two? I'm disappoint.
1703510 Lol I am not drunk! I am high on life! lololol
1703517 It's growing...
1703529 REALLY high on life.
1703536 I no rite!
1703510 TEAR FROGS
1703549 CLEAR LOGS
1703553 SPEAR DOGS
1703517
Oh, liven up a little. Life's a party
1703565 MERE CLOGS
1703565 1703571
Oh, fine.
NEAR HOGS.
1703581>>1703577 SMEAR FOGS
1703577>>1703583
HEAR BLOGS
1703599 DEAR SMOGS
1703599 Dear god.
1703599
1703599 Okay. But seriously, this was a damn funny read. If you spread it out a bit more and slowed down, it would be even funnier. Still, a like and favorite from me.
1703643 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
1703633
Dear. God.
I fucking love the cheddar bacon onion sandwich. Too bad it's not sold anymore
1703750 What!? They stopped? When?
1703698
Weshould. Stopthis.
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
1703867 SeXXy.
1703974
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
1703633
1703581
1703425
tikitumble.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/whats-going-on-in-this-thread.jpg
This is a work of art. Great job.
Best fan fiction ever made. Wanderer_D, Device Heretic, you guys taking notes?
1703752
!
A week or two ago apparently. Well, they may still sell it where your from, but in my little neck of the woods it has been discontinued. Friggin bastards
1704451 That sucks!
LOL WUT
you must call for reinforcements... SUBWAY
1710413 EAT FRESH OR ELSE!
1710830
C.B.O and the subway shall rule the universe for 1000000000000 years
1710950 YUSH!