Twilight loves to read. Whenever she isn't studying or adventuring with her friends, she finds a good book to pass the time. Everything would be perfect if one day she could take her books with her wherever she went. That has arrived. Twilight is blessed with a kindle, the best gift a reader can get. There's just one problem....how does she work the thing?!
See how Twilight Sparkle and Spike figure out what the kindle holds and hopefully find a way to work it. (As a side note, I have nothing against the kindle. I just thought that it be a funny story to see how Twilight would react getting one.)
Chapters (2)
In b4 featured. Good job man!
I have a Kindle, Twilight has a Kindle, 3 million other people have a Kindle.
Kindle friends of reading awesomeness!
The good: very funny, the story flowed well without unnecessary tidbits like I've seen in stories of this nature, the problem resolved itself quite nicely and neatly.
The bad: It could be just 1 chapter, but that's not really a downside. Description could be touched up, not not a huge problem
The ugly: Grammar. Some things were put out of place (specifically punctuation). Commas were underused, some words misspelled, and Capitilization could have been used to a much better effect.
Still, a great story. Take my damn mustaches.
(Edit) Second post.
You know what? I'm going to read this story on my kindle.
Didn't someone already write a story about Twilight and Kindles?
1515732
Considering people foam at the mouth towards these "X finds/uses Y" fan-fictions, I wouldn't be surprised.
1515797 I think it was Twilight finds Wikepedia
1516058 No, I'm fairly certain there was another one of these... about a kindle and everything...
1516058 Yeah, here it is.
To do list:
GET UP AND BUY KINDLE ALREADY
1515797>>1516058
Yes... That was me. And Twilight.
... Literally two days ago.
1516263 Yeah, that's what I thought!
I liked your version better anyway.
Full review now that I've read it. (And I'll try to be unbiased.)
It was generally rushed. Storyline is decent, though.
Grammatically, it's supposed to be "Dialogue," said..., not "Dialogue." said....
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And obviously I'd know how to turn pages if there's a manual there!
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Be quiet, Twilight. But she kinda does make a logical point.
read this book on a kinlde fire.
1516263>>1515741>>1516063
After reading your comments I would like to thank you for criticism. Where to begin on this?
cheeseheadfoamy: Thank you on your review. I'm glad you hit me on my faults so I can improve my writing skills. What you said about my grammer being ugly, I would appreciate if you could tell me where I exactly messed up. The more brutal, the better I improve. Also rockin name, all hail the foamy!
Regidar: Really...someone beat me two it? Blast it all, oh well I should've published sooner. Thank you for providing the link because I will read the other story to see how I did.
The Gray Pegasus: It seems you beat me to it and I tip my hat to you...if I had one. Thank you for the review as well and I will read your story. Sadly though it won't be on a kindle.
Other than that thank you everybody for reading it and leaving a comment. Moustaches for all
1520775
Of course I beat you to it. Your blog post announcing it was on the 27th. I posted on the 25th, two days before. Your last blog post was September.
A little too coincidental if you ask me. Make of that what you will. I'm not going to be angry over it or anything, since there's really no point in doing so.
1520967
Why would I get mad about? I see your point though the funny thing is that it is purely a coincidence. Honestly I didn't know you were writing your story. I'm surprised that someone reads my blogs. Still congrats to you.
Cute idea but a few things really made me twitch.
One. No matter how preoccupied I cannot picture Twilight ignoring a package from a mystery sender, she has incredible curiousity.
Two. She may get fed up with it but she's not so amoral as to deny it getting broken. I could easily see her trying to admit it broke and derpy taking off before she can explain but not simply ignoring it and telling spike to forget it.
Third. It doesn't occur to her to use a pencil or something? That's a bit of a stretch.
Overall a nifty idea. I'll definitely check out your other works (Assuming there are some)
1523805
Thanks for the feedback I really appreciate it. Indeed I can see where you are getting at and I'm setting up something with the mysteries sender. Got any more irks hit me on them and try to be brutal.
1526781 *laughs and bows* I aim to please. How do you mean trying to set something up with the mysterious sender? The story is listed as complete, did you mislabel it? I don't try to be brutal just honest.
1528031
I'll pm you on what I mean. Also thanks for the honesty, it really helps.
To be bunt, after the excitement of reading this kind story on my kindle, I felt that it was inadequate. Twilight was way off-key in her attitude towards the kindle as she is normally excited to discover new things. This may have cause the story to leave out many important scenes such as the scene where Twilight bonds with the kindle or where she investigate what is an internet, imo. (Lol, TS x KD.)
1551502 Lol i love your how your response matches your profile pic. Hmm...didn't think about it that way but then again I'm barely starting at writing and still somewhat new to MLP. If you are interested I have future stories to be pushed out.