Twilight and Pinkie are not into mares. But much to Twilight's dismay, she is forced to go on a date with Pinkie. Can Twilight get out of this nightmare? Why does Pinkie seem to be happy about their date? Something is not right...
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Pony-Berserker
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Weird. I do however like the line, "gotta read something before I freak out."
brb, reviewing.
And? I think that should be Said Pinkie Pie, as she showed Twilight the agenda.
Twilight said, taking the checklist and crumbling it up.
I can tell English isn't your first language... either that or you didn't go back and change the mistakes.
Eh. Not really exciting. Actually kinda boring. Not what I was expecting.
LOL! Pinkie you troll,
Wow... Pinkie's a bully and a jerk in this. Jokes are one thing, but this is public humiliation and borderline harassment. And with that epilogue, it seems like she just completely disregarded Twilight's comfort and dignity for a little job security, which she also uses as a bully. Kind of a terrible friend if you ask me.
How biblical.
In all seriousness, there's nothing wrong with your writing, but I just can't get behind this concept.
1443333
Pinkie can behave like a real troll. Remember the episode "A friend in deed?" Besides, it's only a fan-fic here.
1445142 Yes, but she always had Cranky's best interests in mind, at least as far as she could tell. She didn't go about it very well, but her intention was always to help him. This... well, it's just a prank, a prank I feel goes too far.
But hey, that's my opinion. I'm certainly not the one who determines which concepts are good and which ones aren't. I just don't happen to like this one. There's at least five people who say otherwise.
And those who favourited but didn't rate up
Aw bummer. The one time I get to see at least a glimpse of Rarity/Big Mac interaction on a fic and it has to be in that light. I know it's not the real point of the fic, but still
As for the fic itself, it was decent. I did find it funny, if not a bit cruel for Twilight (but hey, someone always get the short end of the stick in comedy). Then the ending came, and it got too cruel. For just a prank, that was a pretty dick move from Pinkie, and the last bit was completely random, in a bad way.
1447278
Hey, The Mr. Cake part is an epilogue or "the scene during credits", if compared to TV series. Such parts tend to be random.
I thought it was alright to start, and I even chuckled a bit during the restaurant scene, but the ending and epilogue kinda killed it for me. I think this would be better if Pinkie was being genuine and the date was stretched out further to add to the comedic embarrassment Twilight has to endure. That's how this random stranger would have written it, anyway.
1452318
Opinions seem to vary a lot with a bit more of readers who hated the ending. I'll be honest - I didn't expect the ending will be so controversial. Looks like bronies do notl like Twilight getting trolled/abused/whatever
1452430 It's not Twilight getting trolled that I didn't like; it's how massively OOC Pinkie turns here. Remember in Griffon The Brushoff, when Gilda pulls that prank on Granny Smith and Pinkie gets mad at her for going too far with it? This is several shades worse than that: She made Twilight into a laughingstock of the town purely for her own amusement. If this happened in the FiM universe, Twilight probably wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore. I certainly wouldn't.
1452485
For me, Pinkie is a chaotic neutral character who could do that if needed (she needed to secure her job
) However, I totally understand your point and agree with that anyway 
I know Pinkie is a bit OOC here.
1452501 Would you mind if I wrote my own version of this? I'm not trying to outace you or anything like that, but I like the concept and I'd love to put my own spin on it. I'd give you credit, of course. I'd totally understand if you said no, though.
1452641
Well, if you want, go for it
Well, the concept was good, however a lot of stuff was worded really awkwardly. I can't even tell if I liked it or not. The transitions from scene to scene also seemed really sudden. The tiny bit of characterization we saw with Rarity and Macintosh was interesting and good; in fact, I'd love to know how their date went if you're ever fishing around for an idea anytime in the future. I won't mention the characterization of Pinkie or Twilight or the cruelness of Pinkie's joke. That's been done. But I will say this. Pinkie called Twilight 'Twilie'. Only Shining Armor calls her that. It seemed really weird for Pinkie to call her by that nickname.
Good luck in future works!
1468337
Thanks for your feedback
About 'Twilie' - I wanted Pinkie to call Twilight by some diminutive form of her name. But , to be honest, I didn't realize that this is reserved for Shining Armor
If you could give some examples of awkward wording I used, I'd be grateful. People tend to point out that fact but never write what exactly was wrong. How am I going to know that?
1468539 Of course. Let's see...
"that I don’t have a time to meet anypony" would take away the "a". It's just not something that's said.
"Twilight asked Pinkie and looked around as if she looked for some help." This just is worded weridly. I'm thinking you meant to say something along the lines of "Twilight asked Pinkie and then looked around as if looking for some help."
"I was not okay toward you!" I'm not exactly sure what you meant to say but this makes no sense. I get she's trying to apologize from context clues, but what I think she means is "That was not an okay thing to say to you!" but I'm just guessing.
"That’s our first date!" Maybe this is picky, but 'that' sounds strange in this context. "That" is usually used for something that isn't directly right there to be talked about. Like "That thing on the other side of the room." as opposed to "This thing, which is right next to me." There are a couple other instances where "that" should be exchanged for "this" for that same reason.
And I don't actually know Armor is the only one to call her that, but no one's called her that before. It's possible after hearing her brother say it Pinkie liked the name enough to use it herself. I see that happening. It's really a matter of opinion. I thought it was an exculsive just to help define their close sibling relationship.
I hope this helped.
1468738
Yes, it helped
Thanks!
Heh. This is pretty funny! I don't think the joke was cruel. I mean, it was pretty clever actually. Can't fire me, I like mares! Hahah!
I really dont know how i should feel about this fic. for one everyone was OOC and two i like this ship so if this was in any way trying to piss shippers off....hey at least you didn't pull a sgt sprinkles to make anyone hate the ship. yeah he wrote it because he was sick of pinkiedash being everywhere.
Upvote for the ending. Pinkie suing the cakes, wow she covered her bases....
I enjoyed it. I want you to write the Rarimac story going on at the same time, just so I can know if Twilight is right and she's just having a bad time, or if something tagged dark-mature-sex-gore is about to happen.