Purveyor of substandard horse-words since 2012. [they/them]
Rainbow Dash does not act sappy. That's one thing she prides herself on.
So why is it that when Rarity acts flirtatious with a group of stallions, Rainbow gets some weird feelings? Some weird, sappy feelings? What's making her act this way?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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will this is rare to see
shipping lets see how good it is.
edit: nice can't wait for chapter two
1408779 Well...it's complete, but thanks.
1408873
still nice work
1408876 Thanks again. I know this story feels as though it could continue, but that was intentional. For some reason, I liked the open-ended ending.
Is that RariDash I spy? Well, I definitely have to read this.
Post-reading comment: Well, it wasn't RariDash per se, but that was still a really enjoyable one-shot. Great job
Good job, friend!
I think you've got Rarity down really well-- especially her aloofness, I actually like that you end the story on a "Sorry, Rainbow, but..." kind of thing. It's not quite as done and it gives this whole thing a bit of extra believability.
I've got to admit that starting the story with Rarity's point of view and "She had to look her best." sold me. What better way to start Rarity's perspective out?
And Rainbow's "hints". Excellent. I laughed at loud at the idea-- crashing into the boutique every week or so as passive-agressive flirting is just hilarious. Overall, I liked this story quite a bit.
(will say that you definitely should space your paragraphs out next time though. Mechanically, you're mostly on top of it. A few errors, but not enough to break the immersion.)
I'm going to be honest. The story is well written and the characters act as they should.
But I truly agree with Rainbow Dash on this one. After being in the same position as she is, I find the whole thing disheartening because of the 'Friend-Zone' aspect. I've always felt that way about Rarity and Spike too...Unrequited love sucks badly, but having to continue to watch the one that you feel that way about do the things that hurt you makes it all the worse. It ends up destroying friendships that you try to maintain because one tries harder than the other.
Though, the open-endedness of it all does leave it for the reader interpretation...
Again, it's a good story, it really is. I think it just hit too close to home, you know?
Dam, talk about a curveball that hits you in the face, and this is a new ship for me....huh, Rarity/Rainbow Dash? Shit....count me in
But I was really disappointed when Rarity turned her down, oh well....I'm hoping either Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie could help pick up the peices to her broken heart and restore them again.....poor Dash, talk about getting your heart shattered.
I mean sure they are still friends but they are never going to look at one another the same ever again, one does not forgot the words that either restore, break or entwine such friendship from their minds, bodies and hearts, it's not possible so while I find this pairing new and likeble I must say I despise Rarity even more then I did before (and she's my least favorite pony!)
1411071 I must say I'm a tiny bit starstruck that a great writer such as yourself took time to comment on my story. Even more so because you actually enjoyed it.
Thanks a whole bunch! 
1411275>>1411444 The ending was just a choice by me to do something different. You see so many fics end like this:
Not that that's a bad way to end a story (heck, I'm guilty of it
), but I just didn't think it was right for this story.
Good job! But this whole fic paced itself faster than lightning towards the end. I kinda feel this fic would have been 10x better had you slowed it down.
The end felt like it consisted out two phrases:
Rainbow Dash: -"Oh, hi Rarity! I love you!"
'
Rarity: -" That's cool, but I'm not gay. Bye now!"
The End.
1422393 Thanks so much for the constructive criticism. I crave criticism. I know I'm really bad about rushing stuff. Still trying to work out the issues.
Interesting to see unreturned love in a fic like this.
It's a stylistic choice and a good one at that, but it feels a little incomplete.
That might just be me, though.
I'm probably also reading too much into it.
The dialogue at the end comes across as wooden. I dunno, I just don't feel too much for the characters in the last few paragraphs. Maybe it has something to do with sentence structure? And Dash's resolution seems fairly fabricated... Being a lesbian a crush on a straight girl is a tough gig, and it's not really anything you shrug off and move in from right away... Rarity's being really nice about it, but I feel like the sleepover would be a bit painful for Rainbow.
It's a great story for what it is, but I guess I just couldn't really get into it, sorry.