• Member Since 15th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen February 4th

Chuck-daddy


Purveyor of substandard horse-words since 2012.

T
Source

It's Derpy's birthday, but she is sad. She is lonely. Derpy is longing for a "very special somepony" in her life. When she hits it off with Fluttershy at the party Pinkie Pie throws, the two decide to give this relationship a shot.

Note: Though this series can be seen to have continuity, each chapter is meant to be its own, separate story.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 55 )

That was a very fun story. Could use some polish here and there, but it was good overall. I think I called for this pairing at least once in my recent history.

I know how Derpy was feels at the start of the story all too well...

this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome that i had to sigh in just to rate and comment!!!!



:derpyderp1: + :yay: = :heart:

479287

Going to second that about being rushed. This was a good story. But it could be expanded into a great story.

FlutterDerp is a new one, but pretty cool.

479373 FlutterDerp :rainbowlaugh: great name gonna have a read now :unsuresweetie:

Daaawwwwwww thats cute Like and a track indefinatley :scootangel:

i always wanted to experiment with this pairing and this story has given me some great ideas!

I'm glad those of you that like it, like it. For those that suggest polishing it, I really agree with you. I'm not usually a fiction writer; more often I stick to poetry, but these ponies drive me to fanfic. Still getting my feet wet here.:raritywink:

'Twas cute. It went just a liiiiittle too quickly, but there was nothing overly distracting about the story. Props!

479287 I agree it does feel a bit rushed. But to defend, Pegasus technically is a proper noun being the name of the creature from Greek mythology, not the name of the species (in fact spellcheck often tries to "correct" it to be capitalized). Yes it should be lower case when it pertains to MLP fics but it's an understandable mistake. themoreyouknow.jpeg :twilightsmile:

Like the story and I'm intrigued by the ship :derpytongue2::yay:

GET CHAPTER TWO OUT!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!




please?:fluttershysad:

... Er... this felt more than a little rushed. They went from pretty much 'barely acquaintances' to 'deeply in love' in just a few hours. I mean, I've heard of love at first sight, but there was just so little build-up to the whole thing...

Well, it was cute, and I enjoyed that, and the grammar's definitely a strong point (unlike so many others), so I'll give it about a 4/5 (good, but not a favorite) and a thumbs-up. Good job!

~Zaiker42

Not bad. Fluttershy and Derpy make a kind of cute and quaint couple. It was a little short and rushed, but was still a nice read.

Cute!
Well, obviously, that goes without saying.

Yes, it was quite rushed, so there's definitely ways it could be made a better story.
But I liked it.

what he/she said! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ also soooooo good reading four times in ROW

Those of you who want sequel/chapter 2, private message me your ideas, because I'm not really sure where to take the story after this. I'm not being lazy, I just thought this story was going to be a one-and-done thing. Since you guys like it so much (which I'm really, really happy about by the way :pinkiehappy: :twilightsheepish: :yay:) I'll write a part 2, I just don't really have a clue what to do with it.

I'm gonna track this just incase you decide to continue. I can see I few basic ideas on how you could continue it but they aren't really worth mentioning. Anyway, good stuff :derpytongue2:

479287

Aaaaactually… writing "Pegasus" is correct. It is the name of the creature that emerged when Perseus beheaded Medusa. Thus it is a name, and capitalized (and officially there isn't even a plural form – 'Pegasi' is the genitive, not the plural).

On the other hoof, since within the MLP universe, 'pegasi' are just a special type of pony, you're right and it would be written this way. But see, it's not just entirely simple :derpytongue2:


And I have to agree with those who called it a little too rushed, the feelings and motivations of the characters seem a little forced.

Other than that, it's a nice and cute story, though, and I like the idea behind why a pairing of these two might work.

479287 well, technically Pegasus is a proper noun, as it is a species and it was originally the name of a Greek god, although nowadays it means a horse (or in this case pony) with wings

486135
Human is a proper noun, it should be capitilized. Pegasus was the name of a winged horse. pegasus, in the MLP sense, is the incorrect use of Pegasus, since Pegasus referred to only one being.

^ just so you know, i don't ever capitilize it when I write FanFic's either, but simple because one usually doesn't capitlize species names in casual writing.

486714

By all means good sir,

We are boh correct but in differing ways

dontberiker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/riker.gif
Bravo, you have restored my faith in Humanity and this fanfic community.

Let me just say that this is probably the best and most realistic ship couple I've ever read/seen. The fact that Derpy is seen as stupid and is slightly delicate, adding the fact that Fluttershy is so kind, understanding, and accepting, makes this so right that it's left.

:derpytongue2::heart::yay:= me gusta

574249 That's pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I wrote this. Flutterderp is best ship!

DerpyShy- when one source of infinite d'awww is not enough.

Great story; a teeny bit rushed, but really, that dooesn't bother me. Me gusta mucho :twilightsmile:

582781 Cutest ship ever! And I know about the rushed thing; that seems to be something I need to work on. :scootangel:

582786 Oh, please, the rushing detracted absolutely nothing from the story for me! I really don't think there's a cuter ship than the one these two have boarded.

Hmm... a bit rushed, but cute. ^^ There should be more of this pairing. =p

Aww, I liked that one :yay: Espeically the shout out at the end to Iron Will. My only real criticism would be the same as 842704 . A lack of detail about the courtship, things just moved really fast there. Otherwise, thumbs up and much liked!
:raritystarry:

NO WAY, A SEQUEL!


*READS*

*dIES AT LAST PARAGRAPH*

1121192DAMN YOU AND YOUR EXTRA EMOTES!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

It is typical to use 'marefriend' or 'fillyfriend' as opposed to girlfriend.
Also you have Fluttershy wipe the facial cream from her 'skin', it would make more sense for this to be "wiped off the facial cream" or "wiped the facial cream from her fur", as she does not have any exposed skin on her face.
The chapter also felt a bit rushed.
Sorry it it sounds like I am complaining too much.

wait.. sequel is out?? **** YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****!!! i read it now i WANT SEQUEL 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\



also too much DAW over 9000/10



(i dead from over daw dose)

1247580Agreed. WE SHALL MAKE THIS THE LONGEST FANFIC EVER!:trollestia:

Very sweet light shipping. I'm not a shipping fan but I like this one because it doesn't beat around the bush and it's cute, like a good ship should be.

I have one word to say
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW:derpytongue2::heart::yay:

FlutterDitz or FlutterDerp I don't really care, this is simple and fluffy. :yay::derpytongue2:

I love this story and want to find more of this pairing. It's just too cute and sweet not to like it. I'm usually not a supporter of any one pairing but this one has a warm and fuzzy feeling. (Damn turning into a shipper...)

Well, pacing was almost good but you should slow down a bit. Jumping straight to kissing just after bumping their head is too fast for me.

As Ion Will always says "When ponies make fun of your girl, you send them for a whirl!"
...that makes sence right?"

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