• Member Since 13th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

oblivion2k


Co-Admin of Clopfics. Finally decided to start writing after being here for 12 years.

Comments ( 23 )

This story has the same title as a certain deleted story about Spike as a Casanova gambler set in Las Pegasus.

11722330
I actually checked to see if there was a story with the same title before I went with this one, because I figured someone would have done it already.

11722331
The story I mentioned is available on FimFetch.

I'm here just to reinforce that beautiful 100% downvote ratio. You gotta love when you hit harmony with people

11722336
Is it even against the rules for stories to share a title?

11722369
I’m not sure, but maybe.

11722367
I don't mind if people downvote for content, it's pretty damn fun to watch to be honest lol.

I DO hope that if it's actually just badly written that people would let me know. I have written at least one decent story, but this was 100% stream of conciousness and I have no idea if it's any good or not.

11722369
Not sure if the site would even allow you to publish with a 100% identical title, but I'm not sure.

11722385
It will.

Source: Me.

11722369
11722382
Do you have any idea how many stories there are on the site that are called "Diamond in the Rough" or some variation of that? Duplicate titles are fine.

11722493
Oh God, you're right :rainbowlaugh:

Dark. It's rare to see this side of Twilight but this isn't the first time I've seen a story like this. Bad Touch had a similar story.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/288750/bad-touch

As for feedback. It's not a poorly written story, per ce, but there are 3 main things that probably are leading to all the downvotes.

The first thing is that rape, in and of itself, is a very touchy topic on a good day and is only liked in the very narrow groups that allow or endorse the content, so it was going to be an uphill battle for upvotes to begin with. If you want more upvotes, you probably need to add the story to more groups with a foalcon or rape folder for people that specifically look for stories like this,

Second, the characters are too different from cannon. Spike's playfulness and jokes are spot on but even seeing Twilight angry, I think it throws people off to see all the cussing because it's very abnormal for her character, even in fan fiction.

Third, is probably the tags. All the tags are correct, both the regular and the spoiler tags but I'm sure you had people downvote without reading the story just from the tags.

On a personal note, I don't think that Spike putting a finger in Twilight warranted the level of rape she inflicted upon him in response. Seemed a little extreme. Of course, there aren't a lot of stories about dragon puberty so maybe the claw hurt her as much as her horn hurt him?

I hope the constructive criticism helps. Good luck with your writing.

11722369
Nope! There's like a dozen different stories titled "A Night To Remember", for instance.

11722592
Your perspective is MUCH appreciated, Caladis!

I absolutely expected this to bomb because of the tags and subject matter. I'm not really concerned about that, and a handful of people have added the story to their shelves, so I feel like I reached the people I wanted to reach and they enjoyed it. I think enough people have upvoted and favorited that I can feel confident that it's not poorly-written at least, which was my initial fear.

I do know I definitely deviated from canon personalities, even considering the liberties one usually has when writing a clopfic. All I can say is that I wrote that particular section of dialogue in a haze of endorphins. The dialog probably says more about me personally than it does about Twilight or Spike. Unintentional self-insert?

Regarding the severity of Twilight's reaction, I agree that it was completely over-the-top. I was aiming to portray Twilight as a mare who no longer felt safe, had anger problems, and over weeks of Spike's shenanigans simply snapped. I think I got what I aimed for in writing it, but maybe the mood was different on the reader's side.

Thanks again! I've always had big respect for your comments on the many stories I've read.

11722644
Thank you. I try to give fair reviews of what I've read. And your explanation makes perfect sense. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

The only issue I had with it is that it falls into a trope akin to porn logic. Spike is aware that Twilight is one of the most powerful creatures in the world. Yet, he keeps provoking her by assaulting her without a plan, and he appears surprised by her reaction. Initially, I thought this might be his way of egging her on, but it seemed like he was genuinely surprised that she went to such lengths.

11723159
Now that's an interesting take! I'm not saying you're wrong, but I thought it would be surprising that Twilight would go that far.
Like, yes, she's an alicorn, but Spike is one of the most precious creatures in the world to her. She should hesitate to do something about it, which she did for too long and that's how she got into this mess.

11723233
I understood all that but Spike is twilight's number one assistant like Raven inkwell He knows everything about twilight. Spike does things for Twilight before she even knows she needs it sometimes. To me if Spike really was going to do this? Or was this fucking with Twilight? He would know when to stop. But if you're going to go with the context of the story he got over his head, he would plan sweet, sweet revenge on her. Cuz the only lesson he learned here is you can assault someone as long as you are more powerful than them.

Well I have mixed feelings on this one. Really ooc but I guess given the description that's tk be expected. Rape for rape. Some of it I enjoyed with Twilight getting payback but at the same I'm disgusted by it. Of course Spike in this one brought it on himself. I think it would be better if she locked him up in a fireproof cage.

11731461
That's okay, I had mixed feelings when I was writing it. It's okay to be disgusted by this :twilightsmile:

11731627
Well you still got a thumbs up. I made my first rape fic just recently hope you might check it out.

Eh, it was ok, albeit not what I expected. Judging by the title, I thought that Spike was into hornplay and that was what he wanted all along, but nope.
Also this is just a pet peeve, but the description sometimes is strange:"the monster", "a demon with wings and horn" , like ok, but he raped her too?

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