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Aphelion is a young unicorn raised by an anti-royal organization called the Crescent Pact, which aims to take over Equestria by getting rid of Princess Celestia. As he undertakes a strange mission for the Pact, he begins to uncover the truth about the people that raised him, as well as their true goals.
This story begins a week before the first episode of the series.
(Potential spoilers in the comments)
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I think there is a word missing here.
It's only the start, but I'm liking it so far. Noticed a few parallels between the start of this story and the start of FiM.
Well that last bit of magic will probably get him some leniency, from their perspective he could have done anything else to escape with that magic including hurting them but he did that instead.
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There's definitely going to be an interesting conversation with the guards, that's for sure
Oh man, that had to be quite the shock to the system for him! Being told what would happen his entire life and then the exact opposite happens!
That answers why Aphelion was sent on the task. Wow that's a bombshell, he'd firmly embed himself in the cult if he knew of that before hand.
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I'm glad you liked it! And yeah, if Aphelion knew about that, it would certainly set him back quite a lot with all the progress he made with getting out of the Pact
Oh geez, I didn't think it'd get into the story! That stuff gets everywhere I swear!
I honestly didn't even think of how much hot water those two were going to be in for getting Aphelion captured! Might be best if they just surrended to the guard, if only to keep their heads firmly attached!
Misty's talent is really cool, and I cam think of a few good jobs that could have made use of it.
Target acquired! Hopefully he doesn't ask Aphelion's name, that's gonna raise all sorts of questions.
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It is pretty cool, isn't it? And yeah, her talent could've led her down many paths in life, but there's a reason why she's working for Mud currently. Though, I'm a bit curious as to which kind of jobs you had in mind, I like seeing how other people interpret/understand my stories :D
I do not envy him in the slightest
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Intelligence agent easily at the top of the list. She was pretty much doing exactly that in the chapter, give her some training to be less conspicuous and she'd easily be one of the most successful. If not that then a detective or other investigatory job, the ability to communicate with the hiding place that people hide items, other people or themselves in would be extremely hard to counter.
The race is on!
A little respect can go a long way.
A small typo.
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Nice catch, thanks! I don't know how I missed that
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Typos ar sneaky little buggers.
Hey, don't feel pressure to post if you're feeling under the weather, health comes first.
Only found one error.
Eesh, I can easily see what could go wrong with that spell if it's like that. How are you feeling by the way? Hopefully whatever was making you sick has passed.
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Yeah, the Pact's magic is no joke.
And I've been feeling better, thanks for asking!
I jump for joy with each new chapter! It’s always as good, even better!
I love the interactions between Celestia and Aphelion, and I can’t wait to see how the canon part of mlp will be treated. As for the history of the Pact, it’s scary to think of everything that could be done to Steady... Although I’m sure his loyalty is stronger than anything.
I hope that Sandstorm and Misty will definitely turn on the right side and that they will form a good trio with Aphelion 😼
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Thank you for the kind words! I'm really glad to see people enjoying this story so far
I knew these guys were bad news but damn!
Freedom! Hope he finds Aphelion before trouble finds him first.
First of all, I am happy to read that your studies are going well. I hope that this will continue!
Then I’m so excited about what’s coming! I look forward to the confrontation between Aphelion and his father, if there really is one. I also love the pov of Steady, go find out why but I find this character really interesting and deep, I EAT every line that concerns him.
And this quartet, although improbable, we must talk about it! Well, Aphelion seems to have forgiven Misty and Sandstorm a little quickly (which I would never have done in his place 👹), but otherwise I love the dynamism of the relations between the four young ponies, and I so want to see them stick together in the adventure (especially since they will need it)!
Good courage with your studies and the writing of the remaining chapters that promise action and long-awaited revelations.I can’t wait to read more!
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Thank you for the encouragements! I'm glad to see people enjoy my characters that much, and I'm especially happy to see interest in Steady!
Admittedly, Aphelion did seemingly forgive Misty and Sandstorm pretty quickly given the circumstances, but there's a deeper reason for it, which will be explored when the squad has more time to chat/not try and prevent whatever's going on with the Pact at that moment in the story. But thank you for the feedback!
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Let's hope so, I sure hope the author won't throw too many hurdles in his way
I love Sandstorm sm
I feel like their relationship is a little fuzzy, or my brain has misrecorded information at some point
This simple piece of sentence is scary when we remember the previous chapter
The reunion with Steady will be charming, full of joy without a doubt
She said, as she flirted with Aphelion in the first chapters when it was not necessary for their mission
This is a particularly good chapter! Can’t wait to read the confrontation between Aphy and his father
Longest chapter yet! Quite inventive spellwork from Misty, I'm impressed!
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I've been having a lot of fun finding out creative/unusual ways to use and describe spells, I'm glad to see you enjoy it as well!
Heh, nice Wayne June quote there, loving this so far!
MC was set up, methinks. Wasn’t taught social intricacies, wasn’t warned about contingencies, wasn’t tipped off about nefarious contacts; left alone to twist in the wind.
These ne’erdowells seem to have a lot of knowledge about the Pact’s teaching methods. How secure are they if their “third party” intermediaries know about their indoctrination programs?
Very interesting turn of events..
Our guy is going to be in danger if they ever let him out.
They know MC was captured. If he’s seen trying to find them, they’ll know something is up immediately.
The Pact lied. Celestia admitted to lying. MC has a lot to process: what should he do when everyone is false?
He’s a prisoner -parolee at best. If there’s a scheduling error, then it’d be best to make an inquiry with the warden’s office.
‘Cut their losses,’ usually means he’ll end up at the bottom of the ocean, Steady.
Is this a reference to canon or is there something else planned that includes MC?
It's always sad when you can't save everyone, but making sure they can't hurt more people takes the sting out of it a little. I can't wait to see how Aphelion recovers, his father seems to have stunted his magical capabilities, here's hoping he's broke through that now so he can do more in the future!
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Yes, it is in reference to the events from the 1st few episodes of FiM, though there's going to be some differences in the future since this is an AU.
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Yeah, Aphelion's recovery and his learning to cope with the events from the mansion are going to be some fairly important plot points. I do want to approach the "heavier" parts of these themes correctly/with tact, however, so I'll probably take it slow even after the hiatus
This guy Mud seems to have a well-known reputation all over the place. Rather surprising he’s barely garnered any attention from the Guard yet, and Celestia has had to send someone from her special investigation force to deal with the situation.
Dope, glad to see this continue. And I'm so glad Misty and Sandstorm will hopefully get to move on.
Even though you didn't go into details, the implications are excessively dark. I know this was never going to be a light hearted comedy, but I'm leery of continuing this story if it dips too much into these darker elements. I really don't have the stomach for brutal mind control, mutilation and death. And I expect the pact to do a lot of those.
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That's totally fair, and while I don't plan on ever going too deep into any of those themes (otherwise, there would be the death/gore/dark/horror tags), it is something that is, at least to some extent, in the background. Thanks for the feedback and for reading so far, in any case! I really appreciate it
Wait, sired? Is that the word you meant to use? That implies that Luna isn't quite what we think she is. Or maybe he is.
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Well, that's what I get for not being a native English speaker, lmao, I do feel a bit dumb
I changed it to something that's less... Lore-breaking, let's say
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Ah, good to know it was a typo. The fix works. But hey, if Prince Blueblood is supposedly a long distant relative of Celestia, why can't it be the same for Luna?
I enjoy chapters like these. Building up the world and setting up expectations for future scenarios. So when the sludge eventually does hit the fan, we got our starting point.
I wonder how Aphelion will do with an early s1 Twilight. I'm guessing they are both awkward and introverted enough that they will probably be mostly business unless he somehow gets roped into something while he's over in Ponyville. Sandstorm and Steady could run into issues if they actually find the right base. And I guess Misty will just be chatting with Luna this week? Interesting.
My Little Reviews & Feedback Review 2023.
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Once again, thank you for the review! I hope that one day, this story'll be finished and you'll be able to give it its "full" note
I'm still following, but I feel like waiting for a few new chapters then doing a full reread. So I won't comment for a bit.