• Published 27th Apr 2023
  • 14,629 Views, 2,240 Comments

Trash of the Royal Castle - Netap

Human isekai'd into Equestria, regular stuff, right? Wrong! He knows nothing of the show and he took over the body of Prince Blueblood. Shenanigans ensue.

  • ...

Chapters Next
Chapter 1

Do you know how hard it is to walk on four legs without tripping?

Because I don't.

When I woke up in this colorful world approximately twenty-one minutes ago, I was scared.
How could I not be? I wasn't in my home, I had no idea how I got here, and I'm pretty sure I was drunk.
I don't really remember.

And that's when the memories hit me, or at least the memories of the past year hit me.

"My name is Prince Blueblood," I said as I looked at my new visage in the tall mirror placed in my room, "I am the nephew of Princess Celestia," I tried to match my tone of voice to that of this body's natural speaking tone, "And I am a noble of Canterlot, pffft," I almost burst out laughing when I said the name of the city.

"Canterlot? Like a cantering horse? That's fucking hilarious, Ahahahaha!" Okay, maybe I did burst out laughing, but can you blame me? It's a stupid name.

I mean, I understand that this country is run by ponies, but you don't see humans calling New York City something stupid like New Ligament City, or replacing Brooklyn with Boneklyn, Washington? More like Runnington!

See? It's stupid.

But something interesting about this body is this!

With a subtle flair of heat on my forehead, as if my body was previously frozen solid and the layer of ice over my forehead just melted away, Metaphorically of course.

A book flew from a nearby shelf and in my direction.
And promptly slammed into my face.

"Gonna need to get used to that, Ahem! I mean, Darn peasant literature hitting me in my... Okay, yeah I can't do this guy's act."

Sorry Princey, I'm going to have to change your style.

I'm just kidding!
I'm not actually sorry.

At the top of one of the towers of Canterlot castle, a white Alicorn with an aurora-colored wispy mane was sitting next to the bed of a short purple Alicorn with purplish-blue hair, the tips of her mane moving slightly in an imaginary wind as if made of smoke.

Those two were none other than Princess Celestia, the Princess of the day, and the newly freed Princess Luna, The yet-public Princess of the Night.

"How are you feeling?" Celestia asked as she placed a plate of fruits on the stand next to Luna's bed.

"We are *cough cough* Feeling fine, dear sister," Princess Luna answered with a raspy voice, Ever since her transformation into her original form started almost nearly a month ago, She has been bedridden and weak.

"I see," Celestia said quietly, "If you need anything, please just ask. I have some matters to attend to so I will be taking my leave." She turned around and exited her sister's room at the top of the spire.

"Wait, Sister, wait!" Luna tried to get her sister's attention, but her rasped throat wouldn't allow her to shout loud enough. Celestia was already outside her door.

"We just want something to entertain us for the while," She whispered dejectedly before grabbing a bite of one of the fruit on the platter.

"Yuck, Persimmon," She spit the fruit out.

"As I was saying your Highness, I can't allow you to enter the library," The annoying blue-furred guard in front of me said, his shiny golden spear blocking my way of doing some research on the things I can do in this new world.

"And why, may I ask, am I not allowed to enter the royal library?" I ask the fool, how dare he do his job! Doesn't he know that I'm Prince Blueblood? I have 'Prince' in the name!

"Because you need permission from Princess Celestia to enter the library," He spoke in his monotone voice, likely wishing for me to leave him to do his job.

Hahaha! Foolish security guard! You activated my trap card!

"I'll tell Auntie Celestia that you wouldn't allow me, a Prince may I remind you, to enter the royal library, that is for the royal family may I remind you, which I just so happen to be a part of." Being a prince is fun, but I need to enter that library in order to do more fun things.

Hoohoho, The possibilities will be endless! With my knowledge of the modern world and Blueblood's money, I could do so many things!

But first I need to enter the library, Haheehoohooha!

"Sir, Please stop laughing like that, It's making me want to punch your face." The guard said in a monotone voice and I couldn't help but laugh louder, a smile full of teeth showing as I lean on the wall next to the entrance to the library as support.

"Hahaha, Oh you are hilarious Jeremy!-" "My name is Flour Dust," "-But you can't talk like that to nobility, what would your wife say if she found out? She-" "I'm Gay, and I'm sure my husband wouldn't care," "-would definitely chastise you for disrespecting your boss, If I was some other, less kind noble, I would have had you fired-" "That doesn't seem like that bad an option right now," "-But I am a kind Prince, really you should be thankful I'm not reporting you to Celestia, she-" "Report what to me?"

I paused, The guard quickly turned down the corridor and bowed, I follow his gaze and felt the smile on my face dimming in intensity, into a more relaxed and subdued smile.

"Ah, Auntie Celestia! I was about to enter the library and read a nice book, but this ruffian of a guard would not allow me entry. How rude!" I told the White furred, wispy-haired, Horned horse with bird wings. The subdued smile on my face like a mask of sheet iron.
Unbending and unflinching.

"Blueblood," She started, slowly walking towards me, her eyes not leaving mine.
"Are you?" She started saying something as she walked even closer.

Before she suddenly grabbed me in her long legs and hugged me to her chest Like I was a stuffed teddy bear.

"Ooh! You want to read a book! So cute! I have a way better Idea," She smiled as she looked down at me, weakly struggling to escape her iron-hard embrace.

"Why don't we spend the afternoon together?" She asked and smiled as she nuzzled her cheek on my head, ruffling my blonde hair as she does.

"Ahaha! What a lovely jest Auntie, your jokes are as great as ever, but I know that you have a very busy schedule, and I would simply feel the worst if I somehow managed to ruin your day." I tried to turn her down as diplomatically as possible.
But it was of no use.

The want of what was essentially a thousand-year-old "Wine-mom" to spend time with her "Strapping little baby" simply outweighed her want to actually do her job.

I had no option but to accept the request of the monster in white feathers.

And as she dragged me away from the library, I stared at the eyes of the guard that made all of this happen, And I swore that I will get my revenge.

"I just got this new shipment of Cheese-cakes all the way from Prance, they are simply the most delectable treats, I assure you, you must try some," After I eat these magical French cakes, obviously.

Author's Note:

So I came up with the Idea of writing this after reading the first forty chapters of "The Greatest Estate Designer"

Don't worry about my other stories, The Storm King will continue with its own sort of comedy, and Replica is more serious and thriller/mystery than comedy, most of the time.

So I just wanted to try writing a different form of comedy.

And here, have this face of the MC from the Webtoon, just for an Idea of how this Blueblood might act sometimes.

Chapters Next