• Published 27th Apr 2023
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Trash of the Royal Castle - Netap



Human isekai'd into Equestria, regular stuff, right? Wrong! He knows nothing of the show and he took over the body of Prince Blueblood. Shenanigans ensue.

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Chapter 34: License to Prince 2

"Make sure everything is in order, check," I whispered to myself as I went around the cockpit of the small ship that I was to be using for the test.
"Flick on the lights, check,"

Taking a quick look outside the window, I can see that it started raining. hopefully, that won't be an issue.

"Check, check, and one more thing," I whispered as I laid my legs on the desk of the cockpit, one hoof inching towards the steering device of the ship.

It's different from an Earth ship as this was designed to be sailed with only one pony in the cockpit, as opposed to the larger ships that require an entire crew just to make sure the ship is heading in the right direction.
Using a mixture of magic and technology, the sailor can sail this ship like a driver in a truck.

Or in other words, This boat is just a very big truck on water.

I flick a small switch, and a microphone next to me starts to light up with a green light.

"Attention, This is your captain speaking-"


"Do you smell that?" Starlight perked up when she heard the Chancellor ask the question.

"Smell what?" She replied, taking off her sunglasses and snapping them to the collar of her suit.

"I don't know," Neighsay replied slowly, "But something smells off..." He took a sniff of the air around him, slowly walking away from the door leading to the cockpit of the ship.

"Attention, This is your captain speaking," Starlight perked up when she heard Blueblood's voice through the speakers of the ship.
"We will be traveling from this here Hooflyn port to the designated spot, All passengers are advised to stay inside the ship for the duration of the voyage," Starlight turned to look at the chancellor, seeing him with a scroll levitating in front of him, a feather quill writing down words as he nodded his head while the Prince continued to speak.

"Any injuries sustained during the voyage are of no fault of the Blueblood Shipping Company and hold no legal ground in court," Starlight grimaced as the prince said those words, turning her head back to see the Chancellor smirk to himself as he noted down more words.
"Hmmm?" He hid his smirk and raised an eyebrow at her when he spotted her looking, causing Starlight to quickly shrug her shoulders at him.

"Please enjoy your voyage," And a second of static, Blueblood was off the speakers, and Starlight decided to hang back, and let him do all the work.

"It's just a Nautical Science degree, how hard can this test be?" And as soon as those words were spoken in her head, The boat lurched forward as a wave of sweet-smelling brown water pushed at it from the back.

"Wha-?!" The Chancellor exclaimed as the scroll he was writing in was tossed off the boat, swallowed by the brown water.


"This rain is going to be a problem," I grimaced as I placed both my front legs on the wheel and spun the boat away from the shore of the river.

"Wait a moment," I narrowed my eyes as I looked out the window of the cockpit, "Where's the shore?"

Looking out the window, The river the boat was docked in was practically gone.

"How?!" I yelled as I quickly let go of the wheel and kicked open the door behind me, ignoring the yelp of surprise from the Chancellor.

"Starlight! Neighsay! Get in here!" I shout and run back to the wheel, flicking a few switches on the way.

"Blueblood! The entire city is flooded-" Starlight tried to tell me but I shut her up, "I know! But this doesn't make any sense!"

I yell loudly as the sound of the brown rain hammers on the deck of the ship, "This rain just started! There's no way the river should have flooded so quickly!"

"My Prince!" Neighsay rushed into the room after Starlight, "You need to get this ship to the sea, away from the city," I nod my head and flick another switch before grabbing a lever and pulling upwards.

And the boat started to move.


Clean Squeak was walking around Manehatten with her son.
The two were recently given the all-clear from the hospital and told that her son's broken nose was pretty much fixed.
"You're lucky that Unicorn knew first aid and got to you quickly, otherwise you would've had to spend another few weeks," Was what a doctor told them when they visited.

And now she was in Manehatten, her son wearing the stained scarf he got around his tiny shoulders like a hero's cape as he skipped beside her, talking about all the things he wants to buy before they move to their new home.

That was two minutes ago.

"Pip! Pip can you hear me? Pip!!!" Now she was screaming in fear as the street that was just a few minutes ago as dry as any other, was now flooded in a sweet-smelling brown liquid.

"Mom! Over here!" She could vaguely hear him over the heavy rain, its sweet smell making her nauseous as she swam through the flooded street in his direction.

And so focused was Clean Squeak on getting to her son, that she didn't see the trashcan lid flying at her until it hit her right in the face.

She wanted to call out to her son, but her eyes started to get heavy as her head came below the brown waves, and in the distance, she could faintly hear the sounds of other ponies swimming toward their loved ones in this sickeningly-sweet river.

"Pip... I'm sorry..." Clean Squeak wanted to save her son and try to make up for her mistake at the art museum almost a month prior, but instead, she closed her eyes as her lungs filled with the disgusting liquid.

Only to quickly open them with a cough as she found herself laying on the wooden floor of a boat, a Unicorn with purple fur standing above her with a look of relief before the mare ran away, her horn glowing aquamarine as a Lifebuoy levitated after her.

"MOM!" She coughed more as a small white and brown blur impacted her chest as her son hugged her tightly, the Scarf he wore around his shoulders now dripping wet and sticking onto his coat.

"Pip! You're alright!" She cried as she hugged her little boy close to her, "What happened?" She asked as she quickly pulled him away from her in order to look him over, ignoring the ache in her lungs.

"The Prince saved us again!" Her son cheered joyfully, and it was then that Clean Squeak noticed that the two of them weren't the only ponies around.

Be it laying on the floor, on chairs, on couches near the windows, or even running around wearing life vests.
All around her, Ponies were crying or moving, as if cogs on a well-oiled machine.

All of which stopped when the speakers turned on with a second of buzzing static, "Everyone, this is your captain speaking-"


Chancellor Neighsay wasn't a very physically active pony, his job didn't leave him with much time to train his body, and his magic took care of any problems his lack of physical strength would have brought.

And never before today, did Neighsay regret not training his body.

But now as his legs ached from holding on to the chair he sat on as his magic flicked around switched and click on buttons, Neighsay started to regret his lack of muscles.

"Two Mares, an Earth and a Uni at One-thirty," Neighsay quickly stood up as the prince said those words, rushing out of the bridge of the ship and into the rain, his legs shaking as he held on to the railings of the ship as his magic burned in his horn as the two ponies the prince pointed out to him found themselves floated onto the ship.

"Everyone, this is your captain speaking," Neighsay took a moment to catch his breath as Blueblood's voice came over the speakers of the ship, "The direct line to the sea has been blocked by a giant bowl of fruit, so we will be taking a path around it," He grimaced as he turned his head in the direction the boat should be taking.
And sure enough, where previously the path to the safety of open waters was clear, now stood a blockade of a giant porcelain bowl with pony-sized berries laying in it.

"Anyone not taking part in the rescue operations, please stay indoors and away from the entrances, make room for those we pick up, and try your best to take deep breaths," Neighsay started to move his legs, the frown on his face more pronounced than it was in years as the situation only kept getting worse and worse.

SPLASH!!!

Turning his head sharply to the back of the ship, he sees a large pink fin emerge from the river of chocolate milk and swim in the direction of the ship.

SPLASH!

And as the creature leaped out of the river before diving back in, He saw it.

A Giant shark made of marshmallows.

And just because it was made of Pink, Sweet, Fluffy marshmallows, didn't mean that he was willing to let it get anywhere near the ship.

And so with aching legs and shaking breath, Chancellor Neighsay ran back to the bridge of the ship, made his way into the cockpit, and told the prince what he saw.

"Fuck!!!" And although he wouldn't use those words, he couldn't help but agree with the prince.


"Ladies and gentlemen, This is your captain speaking!" I yelled into the microphone as my horn glowed blue, buttons and switches around me moving in my magic as I spun to wheel in my hooves,
"Change of plans! Everybody inside right now! Hold on to any bolted-down furniture you can find, and hold on tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride!" I quickly turned the boat to the left, narrowly avoiding a pair of large pink jaws from clamping onto the back of the ship.

"In the meantime, why don't we all sing a song?"


Starlight huffed air as she used her magic to pull more and more ponies onto the ship, Her suit was wet and sticky with the sweet milk from the rain, and her blue life vest hung over her suit as she continued running around the ship, making sure everypony was safe.

"In the meantime, why don't we all sing a song?" She made a sour face as her boss said those words over the speakers, the ponies inside all looking at each other, unsure what to do before the speakers once more sounded static and Blueblood returned to speaking.

"Look alive Starlight," He told her over the speakers, "Raining brown from the sky but the shark won't quit?"


Clean Squaek and Pip Squeak perked up as Prince Blueblood spoke through the speakers of the boat, joined by plenty of the other ponies inside.

"You're here with me, Prince Blueblood Platinum, I'll be your Captain, Your Rescue, the one that saves you! Sailing over these waters to keep you live, A living hero for the masses," Clean rolled her eyes as the prince tooted his own horn a bit before hugging her son closer to her, his scarf wrapped around him like a blanket.


"Anti-matter for nature's plan!" A certain white and blue Unicorn mare nodded her head to the words the prince was saying before with a flare of her horn, a DJ's booth appeared before her and she started flicking a few buttons.

A smile on her face and purple glasses over her eyes.


"Louder than Princess Luna and twice as shiny,"

A grey earth pony blinked when she saw her friend and housemate pull out a DJ's booth, with a purple flick of her horn, a Cello appears in her grasp, And the earth pony Immediately understood what she must do.


"This one's for all you out there," The prince said through the speakers as all around the ship, Ponies that had the talent took out musical instruments, others grabbing onto tables or windows to tap, stomping their hooves on the floor.

"All you City queens on country kings, LISTEN UP!"


I smiled widely as I spun the ship away from another leap from the pink shark as I sang a mixed-up version of a popular song from Earth, "The Future is Bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary! It's time to do it now and do it loud!" My smile widened, and It only widened further when I spotted Neighsay take a step back.

I must have looked like a demon with a smile this wide.

"Killjoys, Make some noise!" I yelled into the speaker, and my ear-to-ear toothy grin almost split as I heard the sounds coming from below me.


Around the flooded streets of Manehatten, the ship sailed quickly, turning sharp corners with an unnatural preciseness thanks to the Unicrons on board, and dodging the leaps and bites of the large marshmallow shark that chased after it thanks to the expert handling of the captain.

And any ponies that holed themselves in the buildings and towers of the city that saw the boat, couldn't help themselves but join the song that was heard leaving the ship.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na
Na, na-na, na-na, na-na
Na, na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na, na-na, na-na,"


"Left, right, right again, sharp turn left, now it's straightforward for 100... 50... 10... Sharp right!" I whispered to myself as I steered the ship across the flooded streets of the city, bobbing my head to the music and singing as the ponies down below started singing the lyrics to the song as if told by magic.

I won't question it, It's cool.

BOOOOOMMMM!!!!!

"....Shit."

"Shut up and sing it with me!"


Starlight quickly ran to the window to see what the source of the loud explosion she heard was, only to balk when she saw the city getting farther and farther away as a river of chocolate milk flew through the sky, ignoring the laws of gravity, and carried the boat with it.

"Miss Starlight!" She turned to see the Chancellor running in her direction, "Come quickly!" He told her as he passed by before continuing his run.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, From mall security!"


As the ship left the city of Manehatten, growing farther away from the safety of the open seas than before as the river of milk and chocolate carried it through the sky, a pink and fluffy predator swam after its escaping prey.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, To every enemy"


"There! Help me shoot it away!" Neighsay yelled as he held on tightly to the railings at the back of the ship, the wind flapping his cloak around as one hoof held tightly to the medallion around his chest.

"Fine! But you better not punish Blueblood for what's going on!" Starlight yelled at him as her horn started glowing with an aquamarine light.

"Punish him?!" Neighsay exclaimed in shock as his horn started glowing orange, "Never the thought! He more than passed his test with this performance!" He yelled as he aimed a spell at the giant pink shark that followed the ship.

"You ready?!" He yelled over the wind, his horn glowing brighter as the spell readied itself.

"Yeah!" Starlight yelled, "Three!"

"Two!" Neighsay counted down.

"One!" The two of them said together.

"FIRE!!!" And a powerful beam of magic left their horns, orange and aquamarine swirling together in a spear of arcane power.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, We're on your property!"


The Pink Marshmallow Shark didn't know what was going on, One minute it was a simple bag of sweets in the grocery store, not a thought in its non-existent mind.
The next moment, it was living, it had a mind of its own, and it was curious.

Curious to see the world outside the plastic bag that used to be its home, Curious to experience life as more than just a bag of Marshmallows.

And so it swam like the shark it was always meant to be, in the flooded river of chaos and magic, after the first thing it saw.

A boat carrying ponies, The creatures that ate all of its sweet and fluffy siblings, cooked them over a fire or plopped them straight into their mouths.

And it was with new purpose, and newfound emotion, that the Shark swam in revenge after the evil ponies.

It swam through the streets of chocolate, and now it swam through the river in the sky.

"There they are," It thought to itself, its pink and fluffy eyes locking on to two of the Marshmallow killing monsters on the boat as they aimed their horns at it.

Before a magical beam of orange and aquamarine power drilled into its fluffy body and the shark exploded, its sticky and sweet body splattering onto the ship as giant blobs of warm and sticky marshmallow.

"Standing in V formation!"


I grinned wide as the shark that followed us blew up behind me, my legs steering the ship over the river as it slowly came down to the ground, closer to a town below us.


Discord was having the time of his life.

He was free from the statue, the Elements of harmony were unable to work together, and his chaos was already spreading all across Equestria.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, Drop like a bullet shell!" He frowned as he stuck a finger into his ear as he heard something coming from somewhere.
Something that sounded like a song...
coming from above him...

Discord turned his neck to look up, and his eyes widened at the shadow of the ship falling toward.

"Wha-" He might have been a powerful Spirit of Chaos, but even he wasn't expecting to see that, And that was the reason he didn't move in time as the ship crashed onto the ground in front of him, and its momentum kept carrying it forward.

Directly into his face.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, Dress like a sleeper cell!" The ponies on the ship sang as it kept moving, dragging a crack into the floor and carrying the Draconequus in front of it.

"Stop stop stop!" Discord yelled as his body was dragged along with the ship, hitting trees and signs along the way.

"Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, I'd rather go to jail!" The ponies kept singing, not hearing his cries of pain as his body was stretched along the boat like an improvised torture technique.


It wasn't long before the ship dragged its way out of the town of Ponyville and into the nearby lake, the Chaos Spirit glued to the front of the ship like a bug on a windshield.

"Than be in purgatory
Cut my hair
Gag and bore me
Pull this pin
Let this world explode!"

And with a loud crashing sound, the singing was over and Discord dragged himself off the front of the ship, plopping into the lake below him.

"Finally! What was that?!" He yelled in exasperation as he pulled himself ashore and twisted his own body like a towel, letting the water drain out of him.

"But at least I can not get back to- oh no..." Discord tried to say with a smile before it disappeared from his face, replaced with a frown as a beam of rainbow harmony magic blasted into him, leaving a stone statue in his place.


"Ladies and Gentlemen, This is your captain speaking, We have landed in the Ponyville Lake and are close enough to shore to safely swim over.
Any Ponies who are unable to swim across safely are to be carried by any Pegasus that are able, seeing as this ship didn't come with life rafts, Mares and children first.
To everybody listening, Stay healthy and safe from now on.
This is your captain, Prince Blueblood Platinum, Signing off,"

Author's Note:

3,351 words.
Wow...

So... A lot of stuff happened in this chapter...

Yep...

Does this count as the first song? I'm not sure since I had to cut it up and switch some words around to keep in line with site guidelines, and it wasn't really Blueblood that sang it, but maybe?

Next chapter will be the regular aftermath chapter :)
Thanks for reading :)

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