Chapter 2
"So, Blueblood," Celestia began, the two of us were currently sitting on a lovely little table just outside the castle, the garden was lovely, clearly well kept.
"What book were you looking forward to reading?" She asked before floating an entire slice of french- excuse me, I mean Prench Cheese-cake into her mouth and ate it all in one bite.
"I was looking forward to reading a law book," I told her truthfully, gently cutting off a corner from my slice of cake and lifting it with a floating spoon.
"A Law book? Why would you need to read that? Oh! Don't tell me!" Celestia said in shock, her two front legs holding the sides of her face as if she was recreating an image of someone screaming.
But, why would she be shocked? Did she figure out that I'm not actually Blueblood? What happened to Blueblood anyway?
"Are you a practicing lawyer?! I always knew you wanted to do something important in your life that wasn't just hanging around with all those rich friends of yours." Celestia guessed incorrectly, why would I want to be a lawyer? I just want to know what I can legally do as a prince, and how far my title and authority can go.
I'll be careful not to break her guess though, Celestia seems to be in a good mood compared to the Prince's memories.
"Ahaha, Well, You know me, always trying to move forward," Wait that doesn't sound that Blueblood-y, "Right?" That's more like it.
"And I am so very proud of you," Celestia spoke before picking up another slice of cake, casting the conversation into an awkward silence.
At least It was awkward for me, Quick! Change of topic!
"And what about you, Auntie? You seem to be in a chipper mood today. Has something good happened?" I ask, taking another bite of my cake.
It's surprisingly good.
Celestia finished her slice before slumping into her chair, "So much has happened recently Blueblood, My sister is back, the new Elements of Harmony have been picked, and I still keep getting letters about The Grand Galloping Gala. But none of those matter because my sister is back, and soon she will be back to her normal self, and no longer bedridden. How could I not be at least happy for that?"
Half of those words meant nothing to me. The Grand Galloping Gala is some rich people's party, you get the tickets a year in advance so it's really exclusive, I know about that.
Elements of Harmony are some magical doodads that when combined with some doohicky or another make a thingamajig that does something, magical Gadgets and gizmos, I think?
But Celestia has a sister? The Prince didn't pay enough attention in his talks to remember such a thing.
"Tell me more about your sister, it seems to cheer you up. I just hope I myself wouldn't need to call her Auntie as well, that would seem mighty awkward seeing as we haven't ever met." I say, and Celestia immediately perks up.
"You want to know more about Luna?" She smiled and closed her eyes, reminiscing on the past, "Very well, I shall tell you about my dearest sister."
And so my new Aunt spoke about her sister who was banished to the moon for one-thousand years.
It was interesting at first, but after she started getting into the nitty gritty I lost most of my interest.
Why should I care that Luna wore a yellow dress to the wedding of some Minotaur they knew, Oh the Minotaur hated the color yellow and specifically asked for nobody to wear it? How interesting.
Truly, my mind is aflame with curiosity and intrigue.
I really do not care.
"Oh, why don't we go and visit her right now then?" I quickly change the topic, If only to get Celestia to stop telling such a Grandma's story.
"Are you sure?" She asks, "I can tell the guard at the Library to give you entry whenever you want, I notice that the story wasn't that interesting to you." She said, and I quickly came up with an excuse to not look like an asshole for making her stop telling the stories.
"I would be thankful for the library pass, yes. But I want to spend more time with my favorite family member even more." There, now she should know that just because her stories got really boring really fast, it does not mean that my excuse to stop listening is because I dislike hanging out with her.
I'm not going to call her an Old Hag, she could probably twist my body like a pretzel.
And not in the kinky kind, that would just be weird.
I mean in the painful kind where your bones are snapped.
*Sniff*
Wait, is she crying?
*Sniff*
Oh no, please don't cry, Blueblood doesn't know how to handle crying people, and neither do I!
Celestia wiped the tears from her eyes before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, something that was even more painful on account of the table between us and the cheesecake that is now squishing into our fur.
"You said I'm your favorite *Sniff*" She whispered as he hugged me. I can't really rebuke her on that, Blueblood doesn't really have family other than Celestia, seeing as he was adopted because of being related to the bloodline of one of the founders of the nation, making him a very distant relative to Celestia, and also a Prince by technicality.
"Yeah... I mean, Ahem! Of course you are! You are my dear Auntie Celestia, It would be preposterous for me to not love you!"
"I love you too," She said before letting go of the hug, "Now, let me introduce you to my sister."
The two of us left the table, a maid was waiting nearby to clean after us, and we went in the direction of one of the spires of the castle.
Lying in her bed, under a heavy blanket, in a room of purple and black, with the windows closed and the drapes down, Luna sneezed.
"We hope that next Celestia visits us, she will bring this treasure called 'The Milk Shake', But sometimes fate deals us an unfair hand in-" "Lulu, come meet your new best friend!"
Luna groaned and sunk deeper into her bed.
As some of you may know, my story chapters are ususally 1k words in length, something that will work well in this Slice-of-Life Comedy.
Please comment what you thought so far.
Celestia really just wants a family 
and all she has are a bedridden sister who was gone for 1000 years, a nephew who barely hangs out with her, and a niece that is desperately trying to hide the fact she's dating the captain of the guard.
But hey, We cant choose our family, can we? I mean, expect in adoption, which is two out of three members of the family (Excluding Celly herself), and Cadance also still has living parents, so they kind of count as part of the family?
Twilight Sparkle kind of also, but you can't really count it until she becomes an Alicorn.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed :)
EDIT: I can't believe this story got featured only two hours after publishing, I think that's a new record for me.
57 upvotes in 12 hours? amazing.
Thank you all so much :)
I saw some complaints about the beginning of the story feeling rushed, I understand that. We will get into the character of the person who took over the Prince's body in a future chapter, seeing as I thought of the premise of this story in an afternoon and I don't want to disappoint you by giving you all the juicy details in the first 2k words.
But, for those of you who read "The Greatest Estate Developer" You might have a guess as to how he might act when independent of the Blueblood Act.
Hope you enjoy :)
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If you look closely you can see Luna's soul trying to escape her body.
Again, not much to say, not much to judge, So far, Totally Not Blueblood seems to ride the line between douche and kind at times, and the act is slipping a bit. It's a fun read, but unless the rate of updates keeps pace, I can quickly see the actual story being very very slow going
Imaging blueblood with the greatest estate developer expression is hilariousi.postimg.cc/3rGgm2xj/Untitled-1.jpg
Blueblood: Hello, Aunt! I am the spoiled but not too spoiled anymore brat that will annoy you! That's what Family is for
I'm so far enjoying this
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How you see this? How you are the found it, this is text
Story structure needs to be reshaped, I got lost in the back and forth with him and the Guard.
I would imagine BB and Luna will get along nicely. You know, after Luna sobers up from her 1000 year nap.
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God, man, you've created a monster...
cs6.pikabu.ru/images/big_size_comm/2015-03_5/14270439929951.jpg
The plot of this story:
Blueblood the A-hole dies or something and a BIGGER A-hole takes over his corpse.
I am amused.
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That Earth Pony strength, though.
Sooo, money grubbing, shameless, cares for the safety of others, and actually knows how economics works. Not to mention incredibly driven to make that bank. All we need now is his right hand man/or stallion, and we're golden.
Heh, words have consequences!
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An A-hole but not a Dck
11594402
I wouldn't even call Blueblood a Dick, he's just a self-obsessed jerk. In the comics, he's actually a suave Ambassador, to the point that after Shining almost causes a war between them and the Yaks, he walks away friends with the prince and with a whole load of presents. He's just also self-obsessed to the point of being an upper-class twit
Lawyer Blueblood would be interesting.
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Yeah, that comic version of Blueblood is honestly my favourite incarnation of him, coupled with the popular fan theory that he only acted like such a cartoonishly pompous dipshit at the Gala to ward off gold digging suitors (like... you know, Rarity)
Like... is he self absorbed? Yeah.
But is he an irredeemable asshole? If he was, I doubt Celestia would let him stay around.
Lawyer know how to get out of shit and let others step in it. Would be worth his time.