Her condition, and her secret
Trixie was flabbergasted by what she saw. She held her all-powerful amulet close to her chest, and watched in awe of what Twilight was able to accomplish with the necklace from the forest.
"Well, Trixie, looks like my amulet is more powerful than yours." Taking a deep breath, Trixie spoke, putting on false bravado - only one thought in her mind.
"Okay, Twilight. The Great and Powerful Trixie will concede - with one condition." Twi raised an eyebrow.
"That being?" She thought for a moment. Truthfully, she didn't want to admit what she wanted or why she wanted it, especially not in front of all these ponies.
"... Trixie will tell you, but only if you agree to meet her alone." Rainbow Dash was the first to object on her friend's behalf.
"Hey, no way Twilight is going anywhere with you!" Applejack hummed in agreement as the two moved in front of the purple unicorn. Twilight used one hoof to nudge them out of the way a bit.
"It's fine, girls. Trixie, I agree to your discussion conditions."
"But Twi, what if she tries somethin'?!"
"It's fine, Applejack. I'll be safe. After all, I do have a gem of my own on my side."
"B-But..." Rainbow paused, then sighed - landing on the ground beside Trixie's foe. "Fine, but if I hear any funny business I'm coming in and personally banishing her to the moon." The blue pegasus glared at Trixie, clearing Twilight's path so she could move forward.
"So, Twilight, where to?" Trixie asked, "Since Trixie is the one proposing this, it's only fair that you're the one to decide the place."
"How about my library? Spike and Owlowiscious are both here in the crowd." Trixie nodded.
"Lead the way."
After a short walk from town square, they arrived at Twilight's house. The crowd had been left behind (aside from Rainbow Dash, of course, who wanted to wait outside "just in case"), so for the most part the pair were alone as they entered the large wooden structure. Once the door was locked, Twi turned to face Trixie.
"So, what did you want to discuss that needed us to be alone?" Trixie blushed, looking through one of the windows to assure that the blue pegasus outside was unable to eavesdrop.
"W-Well, Twilight, you see... it's a bit of an embarrassing request, and involves a secret that Trixie's never shared with anypony aside from family... But f-first you need to promise to keep it between us." The blue unicorn looked down and fiddled with her necklace. She went quiet for a moment.
"Don't worry, I won't judge. My lips are sealed." Trixie looked back at Twi. The other mare seemed to be filled with curiosity at what she was about to learn. Trixie closed her eyes and took another breath.
"Twilight, I... I want you to fix me." She looked with determination at the purple unicorn, hoof firmly on the amulet around her neck. Twilight thought for a moment, mulling over the words in her head.
"Fix you... how, exactly?" she asked, cautiously. This request was certainly a surprise, especially since the showpony had dropped her third-person dialogue for the moment. Trixie turned away from her.
"Well... as long as Trixie could remember, she's never felt quite... right, in her skin. She's always felt like something was off," she paced around the room as she spoke, trying to get her nerves out, "It was like she wasn't born correctly, placed in the wrong body even, because Trixie was born... a colt. It was lucky that her parents were accepting when she told them. She was able to change her appearance, to an extent, but some things didn't turn out quite how she'd wanted: Her voice stayed a bit gruff, even after training, she didn't get the curves the other mares had, and there didn't seem to be a spell to fix... other areas she wasn't fond of. Well, a cloak works as well as anything else, I suppose." The blue unicorn turned to the other, who seemed to be at a loss for words. Taking off her amulet, she tossed it aside and spoke again. "So, Twilight - that is Trixie's request. She wants you to fix her. She wants you to turn her into... a real mare." She closed her eyes and puffed out her chest slightly, bracing for the spell.
"Oh, Trixie- I..." Twilight said after a moment or two. Trixie waited a bit more, but the spell never came. She opened one eye.
"What's wrong, Twilight? Surely you don't think this request is unreasonable. One little spell, one little flick of magic, and you get your town back without me in it. I've already dropped my amulet, what more could you want?" Twilight's ears went flat.
"Trixie..." She looked to the ground, unable to meet her rival's eyes. "I can't- my amulet is fake. I can't do that spell." Trixie was speechless, this had to be a ploy or- or some sort of lie to get her to change her request, or-
Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of Twilight's "amulet" unclasping, the unicorn holding it out to Trixie with her magic. "Here, if you don't believe me, try it yourself." Hesitantly, Trixie took it and put it around her neck. Unlike the previous power-enhancer, this one offered no new mana rushing into her, no spells appearing in her mind, no change in how her magic felt, nothing. Trixie couldn't believe it. Her back half dropped to the floor.
"This can't be... Twilight, you- you lied to me." Her eyes had started to water, threatening to spill at any moment. She felt scared, and vulnerable, and she wanted to melt into the floor from embarrassment. It didn't help that the Alicorn magic still leaving her body was starting to drain her energy. After a second, Twilight took a cautious step forward and pulled her into a hug, which Trixie reciprocated.
"Trixie, I'm sorry. I didn't know how much that spell would mean to you. For what it's worth, you are a real mare, you always have been - and if anypony says otherwise, let me know and I'll take care of them." Trixie started to cry. She sniffed, rubbing an eye with her foreleg.
"Thank you, Twilight. Even though you can't help with what I wanted, I'm grateful for your support."
"Anytime, Trixie. We may not see eye-to-eye on some things, but I'll never judge your identity." The two sat in silence for a second.
"... Now what about my amulet?"
"Oh, I already hid that. I teleported it to Rainbow after you took it off. The dark magic in it wasn't healthy for you."
"Yeah, that's fair. It did seem like Trixie wasn't quite in control of herself at times. Sorry for all that, uh, banishment stuff."
"It's fine, all's well that ends well. If you're up for it, lets go ahead and meet back up with the rest of the town, they're probably waiting on us." Twilight stood up and held out a hoof to Trixie. She took it, and the two faced the door.
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If Trixie has had transgender surgery, I think it should count as an alternate universe story. Please respond to this comment.
This is a solid first story. Definitely feels like it would benefit from being longer, and Twilight feels overly trusting given this is immediately after the Alicorn Amulet incident. (And I have to wonder if Trixie tried using the Alicorn Amulet on herself for this purpose; it feels like you could explore that a bit more.) But this is a nice little story that clearly comes from a place of earnesty. Enjoy your upvote, and ignore the trolling that comes with writing LGBT stories on this website.
11451638
I disagree personally, because there's nothing disproving the possibility of it happening before the events of the show. It's my headcannon that she is a transmare in the show.
The reason I was considering that tag was more having to do with alternating from the original events of what happened in that episode. Canonically, Trixie took off Twilight's "amulet" with her magic in front of the crowd, while in my story the two moved to the library and talked in private.
Hope this helps explain more what I meant! :)
11451648
Thanks for the comment, the feedback, and the upvote!
I was trying to depict Twilight as trying to keep playing up the "I'm strong so I don't need to worry" bit of the original scene as to not make Trixie suspicious (she needs her to take the amulet off herself, after all), with Rainbow being there as her safety net so to speak. I guess you're right that it might come off as a bit too trusting, I might go back and try to make that clearer.
Also, I didn't think about the possibility of Trixie trying to use the Alicorn Amulet on herself in that manner, I feel so dumb now, like "why didn't I think that?" kinda moment lol. I may think about going back and adding something about that, a sentence or a paragraph. Or maybe I'll think of a prequel fic, idk
Thanks again for the feedback, maybe next time I upload a fic I'll take a moment to think of more ways I can connect the things involved to the story's main theme theme, and to make sure everything I try to hint at is clear to the reader :)
I don't know it certainly feels rushed and forced to have a sweet happy ending. I figured Trixie wouldn't be so accepting of Twilight's apology and her attempts to comfort her. I feel it would make more sense for her to snap and be angry at her for misleading her, despite it being unintentional, and leave swearing revenge once again. Given she had a grudge against her and all. I know the amulet corrupted her, but at least some of that had to be her original intention since she did put it on in the first place. It just feels like it ended on a sweet note just because even though it again felt forced to me.
This is just a convention and not a rule, but it's common writing practice to keep dialogue lines separated by character, like so:
"[Twilight says something]"
[Trixie reacts] "[Trixie responds]"
[Twilight reacts] "[Twilight responds]"
Instead, you put the other character's reactions to the dialogue on the same line, which is very confusing:
"[Twilight says something]" [Trixie reacts]
"[Trixie responds]" [Twilight reacts]
"[Twilight responds]" [Trixie reacts]
This is especially confusing when you use pronouns or have more than two characters.
Nice first story. Don't let the downvote bombing get you down. It's a TG story and they always get votebombed here. Keep up the good work, catch a follow and I look forward to see more in the future.
Trixie being trans automatically makes it an AU. For all its failings in writing, Hasbro did the intelligent thing of never bringing that into the show.
11451693
Thanks for the comment! Yeah, I wasn't completely sure about the ending - that sounds a lot more in-character for her. I'll admit that I did this one pretty quickly, I think I'll spend a bit more time on the next one.
11451714
Thanks for the tip! I'll keep that in mind for my next one :)
My thought process was: character talking = new line, so that each part with dialogue starts with the dialogue associated with it. Like,
but that makes a lot of sense. I gotta remember that just because it makes sense to me doesn't mean it makes sense to others lol
11451722
Yeah, I figured that after reading some other trans fics on the site & seeing their ratios-
wish people were more accepting ;-;
thanks for the comment & follow!!
11451752
Not necessarily! There's no evidence for or against Trixie being transfem in FiM, so as long as I don't intentionally contradict anything shown in the show (like,,, making her present masculine during or after her first appearance, making her transition in a visible way during the events of the show, or contradicting what we know about her past) then it's not considered divergent to the cannon. It may not have been explicitly shown or stated canonically, but the trans themes in here don't contradict the show, and the show doesn't contradict the trans themes in the story.
Here's another example to help explain what I mean. Imagine a fic that revolves around Rarity trying to get to her favorite diner in Canterlot and having comedic roadblocks along the way. Rarity in the show has never expressed a favorite diner as far as I'm aware, and for all we know the name of said diner in the fic could be completely made up by the fic writer. That being said, even though the plot is centered around this restaurant that's never appeared in the show, it doesn't contradict the cannon (since Rarity's never mentioned having a favorite in the show), and the cannon doesn't contradict it (by not explicitly stating that the place in question doesn't exist). Would you mark this fic as an AU? I personally wouldn't.
With this rule in mind, none of the trans stories I've seen following it (like stories where the ponies have transitioned before their first appearance or after their last) have been labelled as an AU. Now that I've said this, I'd like to say that I'm taking a firm stance that the trans aspect specifically does NOT make this fic an Alternate Universe. If you disagree after this, I guess it's simply a matter of opinion.
Hope this better explained my thought process! (I know there's always the possibility of this being a troll comment, and thus that I may be talking to a brick wall, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.)
I usually find these stories to be pandering, always feel like they're written by people who aren't trans and just want to "show support" or "spread awareness". But it always falls flat because they push the "Magix fixes it", which makes the conflict irrelevant.
The reason why transexuality(not gender, sex) isn't accepted is because even with all the current medical tech available, you aren't really the opposite sex. It'll alway be an act and you'll always know it's a lie to make yourself feel better.
With maguc, most people go "oh yeah, everything is fully x, they were born y which is the conflict", but it wouldn't be, at least not nearly as much. This story though, I appreciate it because Trixie still is biologically male, and knows she is, and doesn't want to be, but has no choice.
I feel that this is born of actual reality, and the conflict isn't sociatal, but internal. That's god, that's good writing.
This is a nice first story! I love the smooth continuation from the episode and the characterization of Twilight here :)
The ending feels rushed, but otherwise this is quite good, especially for a first story.
This is cute. The dislikes are just from assholes. Keep it up, I loved this
11451671
I assume that a trans Trixie in the predicament of having 'the wrong body' would indeed try to use the Alicon Amulet on herself. If that hadn't worked, she would be interested in any alternative solutions.
In the show, Twilight won the second Alicorn Amulet duel by faking the ability to change a pony between stallion and mare, so of course a trans Trixie might make the request that your story's Trixie did.
What I'm getting at here is that I think you handled it very plausibly.
Sweet, could be a bit longer here and there to expand it beyond the singular scene.
Very Cool idea. I look forward to seeing your future stories.
I vaguely recall reading somewhere that Trixie was originally planned on being a male, but due to "reasons" got turned into a mare. So her being Trans or at the very least uncertain is okay in my book.
As to this story itself, for a first fic not bad, no glaring spelling errors or other such things (that I noticed anyway). But as others noted, it was very rushed. We go from initial contact to resolution fairly like *snap* It would have behooved you to stretch things out a bit.