Chained Beast Of the Dungeon

by armid

Revelation

Clover’s body froze in place and her fur stood up straight. She could hear the slow steps getting closer and closer. She quickly closed her eyes and tried her best to picture her bedroom.

*Ba-bump Ba-bump*

The sound of her heartbeat was pounding in her head so loudly she couldn’t think straight. Her whole body was shaking in terror.

*Grrrrrrr*

It was too late.

In her desperation, the brightest idea ever sparked in Clover’s mind and she instantly activated her horn.

She turned back, closed her eyes, and conjured the brightest light she had ever lit. The beast screamed in agony as it was blinded, letting its terrifying roar of pain echo through the whole cell.

Clover stepped back until she hit the wall. Having just possibly avoided certain death, her breath was as rapid as the raindrops from the storm outside.

*Ba-bump Ba-bump Ba-bump Ba-bump*

Clover couldn’t think straight. Her heart, her breaths, whatever that was with her in that cell, all of it fogged her mind to the point that she couldn’t even remember what the teleportation spell was!

Muttering words and phrases in hopes of the spell coming back to her, she realised it was useless. SHE was useless. There was no hope, no hope at all.

The beast let out another roar and charged towards Clover. Even though Clover couldn’t see anything, she could feel her end was drawing near. She held her breath and embraced her fate.

Just when she thought it was all over for her, the beast stepped back and let out more screams of pain and agony.

Clover, having lost her patience, realised she was still alive.

Was it her cloak? No, even if she was invisible, the beast probably knew where she was. If she could hear it, so could it.

Then, what happened?

Clover lit a dim light from her horn. She couldn’t tell whether it was curiosity or a death wish, but she stepped forward and observed the creature in the middle of the cell.

It had long grey fur on its body and a messy black tail. The creature was covering its face with…hooves?

But hooves don’t have sharp black claws coming out of them. Were those claws? No. Clover could see the hoof bone there. Was this a manticore? No, they’re not this small. This creature was about as big as an adult pony.

It was then that she noticed it, a long, elegant horn. The “hooves” hadn’t covered it.

Was this… a unicorn?

The creature suddenly twitched in place, its hooves were getting tense.

Clover quickly stepped back before the creature roared in her face, revealing its sharp maw. Its eyes were pitch black, as if nothing were in those sockets. A long, dizzy black mane surrounded its face and neck.

The creature started slowly getting closer to Clover and as it did, its head twisted in place and gnashed its teeth. The creature’s maw was now above its eyes.

A mixture of feelings filled Clover. Fear, confusion, dread, curiosity, and anxiety, it all piled up within her as she gulped.

“Ń̸̢̖̦̳͓̻̱͚O̵͖͚̩̻̒̅”

The creature shouted and its head twisted back into its original place. It then sat down and smacked its head with its hooves.

“L̴̢̝̝̣̪͍̈̊͒̆̉̃̈́͊ͅe̸̼̮̝͕̬̠͇̯͋͌̐͂̈́͂̿̎͝͝ͅả̸̛̝̼̠̦̲̫͑̑̇̄̀v̸̬́͌͂e̴͙̮̖͕̙̜̅͗̉̽̑̐̒̕͝͝”

Clover wasn’t sure, but it felt as if it was communicating with her.

“L̷̩̫̣͎͑̃͝Ē̷͓͔̘̯̬͉̙͛̓͐͂͆̓̈́͘Ȃ̷̳͗̌Ṿ̷̝̣͓̰̲́̕E̵͕̲̅̀͂͝”

The creature shouted once again and then stepped back into the shadows.

After a moment, various coughs and growls came from the dark corner that the beast had hid itself in.

Clover raised her hoof to take a step forward.

“Don’t…”

A rough voice came from the dark corner.

“Don’t come close. Stay back. It’s for your own good.”

Clover listened. “Y-you… W-what are you?”

No responses came from the creature.

Clover was once again left with no answers. She quickly realised, now was her chance to leave. She took out the spell note from her cloak but…

She needed answers. She needed to know what it was that Crimson Light wanted to unleash upon the other tribes. She had to find out. So, she took a step forward and shined her light brighter.

“Ś̴̖̰̯̈̉͊̀̄̄͗̕͜ͅT̴͓̰̠͙̀̍̂̓͋͌O̷̢̞̜̰̗̐̐́́̌͋͑͛͝P̵͋́̉ ̷͕̥̮̩͈̲͍͍͈͂̄͂IT̴̳͉̔̋” The creature shouted, but Clover didn’t mind. Because what she saw shocked her.

It was a unicorn. There were no claws, no sharp teeth, no pitch black eyes… it was… just… a stallion.

Suddenly, the stallion’s eyes turned pitch black. S̵͍͙̱̻̞̰͖̗̮̄̀̀͜Ḣ̴̨͎͉̞̯̬̊͒̎͑Ü̵̡̫̺͔̭̭̽Ṯ̷͍͖̝̖̟͚̗̿̒͆̋͠͝ ̴̧̪͎̥̾̈́͊̇͒͜I̸̡̝̦̯̹̼͚̬̐́̑̓͐̓̎͘ͅͅṮ̴͉̝̬͉̗̘̭̎͑͂̚͜

Clover quickly extinguished her light after seeing the sight. Doubts began to fill up her mind once again. She should have just teleported out of there. No, she had to stay and find her answers. But she might die. She had already almost died once.

However, she took another step forward.

“I said, stand BACK!, Do- ugh, aaaaugh.” The coughs and growls began once again.

“Y̸͎̬̬͙̜̲͈̊͛̓̅̅̔̑̀͠Ò̶͈̤̲̽̊̏̚̚̕͝U̴̧̅̌̀̈́͆̇̎̕'̵͈̝͖̹͕̖̝͕̹̑̓̐̅̆͑͊L̴̺͍̤̭͇̼̫̥̈́̋͐̎͗̈́̈́͗͛̾L̵̛̯̘͍̣̼̩̻̱͍̩̃͗̈̎͂̍̚̚͠ ̸̛̤͎͔̞̰̲͔̅̽̈́̈̊B̷̤̣̻̰̀́͒̌̑̂̈́̅͑͝E̵̡̮̟̻͖͈͒͜ ̸̡̡̢̼͎͕͈̦̙̒͆͜A̴̡͕̠̜̩̻̓̈́͐͜ͅ ̴̩̰̼̱̮̋F̴̢̨̛͕̟͚̗̻̗͙͐͘Ĩ̸̯̼̹̋̿́̓͂͌̈́͘͘Ņ̵̳͚̮̔̾E̵̛̤̜̮̟͉̺̹͉̎̕̚͜ ̸̢̧͍̜̘̲͕̩̼̬͝F̵͖͝È̶̱͔͈̺̮͖̪͌̐̆̏̽̾͠͝A̸̧̭̤̲̬̠͂S̶̛̮̣̈́T̶̹͚̘̻͓̱̗̀͛̄͌͋ͅ”

Another loud roar of pain followed.

“Please… I… don’t want to, but… I’m… Ḥ̶̖͔͉̠̗̃͑̓͋͒Ǔ̸̧̫̲̝̼N̷̙̰̭̭̹̅́̀͐̈̏̌̌̏G̴̣̳͈̈͝R̴̬͖͍̖͉̎͗͗͂̑̕͠Ỷ̷̲̍̓̑.”

“Hungry?” Clover asked, but no response came.

Afraid of what might occur, Clover didn’t light her horn and only stared at the void where the voice, or perhaps, voices were coming from. With a deep breath, Clover took one more step forward.

“Don’t,” the voice said once again, weaker than before.

But Clover wasn’t turning back now. She hadn’t done all this just to turn back now. If she wanted to stop Crimson Light from taking over, from starting a war, from hurting so many other ponies like Thunder Feathers, she had to unravel what he kept in here and she just knew how to do it.

She dashed forward, lit up her horn, and chanted the memory seeing spell as fast as she could. She didn’t pay attention to the unicorn anymore. It was all or nothing. She only chanted the spell and put her horn on the unicorn’s forehead.

---

The moment she did so, excruciating pain surged through her head as a burst of dark memories flowed down her mind.

Torture! All, torture. Burned alive, sawed limbs, blasted to bits, starvation, electrified, whipped, stabbed, but no matter how extreme it went, death did not relieve the pain. No, the body lived. The pain piled up. Burned tissue healed, sawed limbs became whole again, blasted bits merged together. No, neither starvation, being electrified, nor being stabbed a thousand times brought it down. It came back. It stayed alive, but the sorrow remained.

And behind all those dark pictures was only one face.

Crimson Light.

Clover was right. HE was the true monster. HE was the true beast. And yet, this pony and many others were chained up here, suffering their entire life, dying, and rotting away.

But this one, this one couldn’t be relieved.

“You’re a monster. An abomination! This is your place.”

---

What went on in Clover’s mind only took a few seconds and, once she came back to her senses, she was faced with a familiar maw. A sharp claw was about to meet her face.

Clover ducked, but the unicorn, now turned beast, grabbed her neck with his other hoof. Before she knew it, Clover was lifted up and choking.

“F̷̣̤̬͋Ę̸͕̘̙̟̱̈́̈́̓̌̈͜ͅA̵̧̛̟̜͓͈̯͕͑́̾̈́͐͆̌͠ͅS̷͙͍̳͓͊̌̃͜Ţ̵̨̘̜̺̫̣̙͐͋͂̽!̷̢̯̺̘̳͔̻̮̮̑͆͛͊”

Clover threw her hooves around in hopes of freeing herself from the creature’s grasp but to no avail. It was now or never. And so, she closed her eyes and cast the teleportation spell.

When Clover opened her eyes, the pressure on her neck was no more. She found herself in some sort of cellar. It couldn’t have been the castle's cellar. It was too small for that. As far she knew, the mage tower did not have a cellar. Deducing from that, she probably wasn’t in either of those places.

After taking a minute to recover, she closed her eyes once again and pictured her room. Her small window, now with frost forming outside of it, her bed, occupied by the wounded earth pony, and her wooden door, that was watched closely by Thunder Feathers so no one could enter. And then, she cast the teleportation spell once more.

As she opened her eyes, she was greeted with a yellow pegasus face right in front of her.

“AAAAAAAAH!”

“AAAAAH!”

Clover and Thunder Feathers both screamed.

Thunder, understandably disturbed, held her hoof to her chest and wheezed, “Jeez, girl, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

Clover, however, let out a sigh of relief. She was terrified, yes, but she was more glad to see the council hadn’t come after them after she was caught. “You can not stay here for much longer. They’ll probably search here soon.”

Thunder nervously glanced back at the bed, worried for her earth pony companion. “But where do we go? He still needs to recover and it's a blizzard out there.”

“I don’t know.” Clover walked to the earth pony lying on the bed. “And I’m afraid the situation has gotten much worse too.”

“What do you mean?”

Clover turned back and faced Thunder Feathers. “The council wants to take over and wage war with the other tribes.”

“What?!”

Clover only nodded.

“Those sick bastards!” Thunder Feathers stumped her hoof to the floor. “But if it’s a fight they’re looking for, I’m sure Commander Hurricane will give it to them.”

Clover shook her head. “It’s not about that. Can you imagine how many will perish for pursuing the council’s wild dreams? And that's not even considering that the odds aren’t in your favour.”

“What do you mean?” Thunder Feathers jumped in front of Clover and raised her voice.

“They want to release the beast into the war.”

The yellow pegasus’s eyes widened. She tried to hold the terror inside her, but Clover noticed her trembling.

“Th-this is not good.”

“But I think I know how to stop them,” Clover said, feeling determined in her words and knowledge.

Thunder Feathers looked up at her, desperate for answers. “What?”

“Everything is orchestrated by head counsellor Crimson Light. He is probably organising some sort of public announcement in the town square to inform everypony that now they are in charge and feed their propaganda against the pegasi to the ponies.”

“But, what should we do?”

Clover glanced back at Thunder Feathers. “We make sure no pony will trust his words, not even the other head counsellors. And to do that, we have to release his most valuable prisoner.”

Thunder Feathers narrowed her eyes. “You don’t me–”

“The beast.”

Thunder Feathers couldn't help but scoff in disbelief. “Are you out of your mind? Your best units can barely hold that thing and you want to release it on civilians just to prove a point?”

“The thing is…” Clover paused for a moment. “I saw him. I- they caught me and threw me in his cell, hoping he’d devour me.”

Thunder Feathers eyes widened, but Clover couldn't quite tell whether it was out of surprise or terror.

“A-and I believe, he certainly has a bone to pick with Crimson Light, the real monster.”

“I-I…” Thunder Feathers shook her head. “But how did you survive?”

“He’s just another prisoner, just like you. Tortured. Perhaps I survived him just like I survived you.”

Thunder Feathers wanted to say something, but decided against it.

Clover walked to her door but she was stopped by Thunder Feathers.

“You don’t think I’d let you do this alone, do ya?”

“I have to. Besides, he needs you here.” Clover pointed at the brown earth pony.

“He’s fine for now. But if that Crimson Light is behind all the suffering that happened down there in the dungeon, I think it’s only fair I come along to say hi as well.”

“It's too dangerous, there are guards everywhere.”

“If it's dangerous for me, it has to be dangerous for you too.”

Clover stayed silent, trying to think of a reason to convince Thunder Feathers to stay. Nothing came to her mind.

“Look,” Thunder Feathers said, “This is serious. We have to stop Crimson Light or all the tribes will be in war. We can’t play it safe anymore.”

Clover sighed and, eventually, gave up. “Fine, but at least take my cloak.”

---

The blizzard was swirling through the air like a screaming ghost. The guards knocked on each door and escorted all the residents of each house to the castle. Although confused, they followed orders, and those who didn’t were brought by force.

An announcement by the head council, many assumed. But what could have been so urgent that they required all the capital's citizens to attend in this fire-freezing weather? All ponies from young fillies to elders, from stallions to mares, all asked the same question in their head. All except two.

Both cloaked and among the masses, hiding their faces and identities behind their hoods, the two mares stood in front of the castle with the rest of the crowd, waiting for the seven head counsellors to speak up. Every second, the cold withered away the crowd's patience.

“Citizens of Everlight!” The counsellor finally spoke up, “We have gathered all of you here so that we can inform you of the tragic news we have recently received.”

The whispers began as Crimson Light finished his sentence. Confused, Thunder Feathers looked at Clover.

With a nod of her head, Clover informed her new ally that she wasn’t aware of what Crimson Light was speaking of.

“It is with utmost sorrow that we must announce that Princess Platinum is... dead!”

The counsellor’s acting, while not perfect, seemed to be enough to convince a lot of the ponies in the courtyard. The whispers grew louder and louder, until they became screams.

“Oh, no!”

“This can not be.”

“But… how?”

“Was she assassinated?”

“Did she freeze to death?”

“Who will be leading us now?”

Clover, on the other hand, was uncertain. Was this a lie? Or was this, for once, the truth? Afterall, she'd been standing outside for only a few minutes, and she had almost lost all warmth in her body. How could Princess Platinum survive this?

“It is a very painful loss to take in, we know. But, sadly, our current state doesn’t allow us to have a proper ceremony for the loss of our dear Princess. We are almost out of food. This weather is crippling us. And most important of all–” Crimson Light paused and made sure he had the full attention of the crowd. “We must take our revenge!”

The crowd was silent. All eyes were locked on the red bearded unicorn in robes.

“Those filthy pegasi are responsible for the loss we have to endure! They are responsible for this current state!”

“LIAR!”

All eyes turned and looked at Thunder Feathers, who had just shouted and drawn all the attention to Clover and herself.

Clover realised she had to execute her plan right then and there.

She pulled Thunder Feathers closer to herself and whispered in her ear, “Look, the guards are on their way to us and the crowd will certainly not take your side when they realise you’re a pegasus. I’ll buy you some time and gather their attention.”

“What do you want me to do?” Thunder Feathers whispered back while carefully eyeing her surroundings.

“Sneak up on Crimson Light. He has a key around his neck that we need.”

“But how do– Oh… right.”

Clover took off her hood and teleported herself onto the scaffold.

“Citizens of Everlight! I am Clover the Clever, Princess Platinum’s most trusted advisor. I am here to expose the council’s lies they’ve been telling you all!”

Clover seemed to have the crowd's attention. On top of that, she had given the council a real shock. All the head counsellors couldn’t believe that they were seeing Clover herself, alive and well.

“The current state isn’t the pegasi’s doing. They’re not capable of creating such weather. And have we forgotten that they need our magic to raise the sun in order for the earth ponies to harvest food and grant it to both us and them? And about our Princess–” Clover looked at Crimson Light who was still baffled that Clover was still breathing. “The council wants to take over! All of this is a lie so they can govern the nation themselves!”

The crowd’s whispers began once again, questioning the reliability of the council. Until…

“Nonsense!” Crimson Light shouted. “Dear citizens of Everlight, do not believe a single word that comes out of the mouth of that pesky traitor!”

The crowd let out a loud gasp and Crimson Light continued. “This so-called 'most trusted advisor' has been caught in the dungeon, trying to bail out some of the most dangerous prisoners there! You think she is worthy of being among the royal ranks? Let alone accusing the council of such treachery? Guards! Arrest her.”

Just like that, Crimson Light swayed the crowd back to his side. The guards stepped forward to arrest Clover and she knew if she fled now, that meant accepting the accusations against her.

“The council is keeping a monster in the dungeon! And they are planning to release it to massacre the other tribes! A monster they can’t even control!”

“That's enough! Get h–” Crimson Light’s words were cut short as something hit him out of nowhere and knocked him onto the ground.

“Shut up you old jerk!” Thunder Feathers yelled as she let out her breath and appeared on the scaffold next to Crimson Light.

The guards quickly charged at her and without hesitation, she quickly snatched the key from around Crimson Light’s neck. However, she got zapped right after and two guards were right on top of her before long. Her cloak had fallen off and now the whole crowd could see she was not a unicorn. She punched one of the guards and threw the key to the air.

“Clover! Catch!”

Clover jumped and caught the key in her teeth. She couldn’t stay nor could she flee from there anymore. She was surrounded by guards. So, she closed her eyes and cast the teleportation spell, disappearing before everypony’s eyes.

“Where did that brat go?” Crimson stood back up.

“She went to free your beast,” Thunder Feathers, who was now held down by two guards, responded, “To show it to everyone.”

All the head counsellors' eyes widened and stared at each other clueless of what to do.

“Hurry up! After her!” Crimson Light shouted, his eyes filled with rage. “And you,” he said, charging up his horn and stepping closer to Thunder Feathers. “I thought maybe after I took your wing, you’d know your place. But it seems, I should have taken something else instead.”

He then zapped her with the utmost power, causingThunder Feathers to experience excruciating pain. Despite her cries, he did not stop. He kept it up. He let his magical electricity surge through the pegasus’ body until no more screams of pain exited the pegasus’ mouth.

---

Once Clover opened her eyes, she found herself in the west wing hallway of the castle and the key was still in her teeth.

“She’s there!” A guard from the other end of the hallway shouted and started running towards Clover.

Clover’s hooves took off as well and she ran through the hallways and corridors. The dungeon door was on the east wing, first floor. There was a long way there and, sadly, she didn’t have her invisibility cloak with her.

Suddenly, two guards appeared from around a corner and blocked her path.

Clover pushed her hooves against the carpet and changed her route. The two guards chased after her, shooting magical blasts at her.

Now that her path to the east wing was blocked, she had to take the stairs down to the first floor and hope she’d have better luck there. So, she took a turn and headed for the staircase. Taking a glance down the staircase, she saw more guards coming up to cover that area.

Two more blasts missed her head and hit the wall. Clover understood that she couldn't linger and had to move her hooves.

“Stop her!”

Where could she go now? Should she have used the teleportation spell?

It was at that moment she recalled that the main entrance wasn’t the only way to get into the dungeons. There was a heavily guarded back door outside the castle; there was also the secret passage in counsellor Crimson Light's room that led exactly to where she wanted to be.

So, she took a turn and headed for the north wing of the castle. More guards were on her tail and they kept on shooting their magical blasts at her. She had to do something, and it had to be quick.

She spotted a set of decorative armor as she was running. She levitated it, duplicated it, and threw it towards the guards, the segments scattered and hit them on their faces. It wasn't enough to stop them, but it was enough to slow them down.

Finally, Clover got to the door and turned the handle. But the door was locked.

More guards appeared from the other side of the hallway and the rest that were chasing Clover were closing in as well. She was surrounded.

“Get her! She has nowhere to go now.”

“It’s over!”

But perhaps, there was one way out. Clover only had to get inside the room. That was all she needed. So she closed her eyes and pictured the room behind the door as perfectly as her memory could. Red walls, the council’s symbol, the large desk with various scrolls and papers, and the passage that opened in the wall. As the blasts were about to hit her, she vanished from everpony’s view.
Confused, the guards separated again in hopes of finding the hooded mare. Little did they know, she was right behind the door they last saw her.

After letting out a sigh of relief, the young mare put the symbol in the right position and entered the secret passageway.

As she stepped down the stairs, she couldn’t help but worry about Thunder Feathers. Was she going to be alright? What were they doing to her now that they caught her assaulting a head counsellor? Were they going to–

No. Clover stopped her thoughts right there. She reminded herself that Thunder Feathers was a strong mare. She could take it. Or, at least, Clover hoped she would.

Once Clover made it down the stairs, she pulled the lever and stepped inside the dungeon. Once again, her fur stood up, but not just from fear of what was behind the giant metal door. She also felt doubt of whether what she was doing was right.

She then remembered the images she saw upon looking through the beast’s memories. The sensations, the pain, it all came flowing back.

It was right. She was certain.

Clover levitated the key and put it inside. Once it clicked, the door opened ajar. She pulled the door wide open and lit up her horn to gaze through the never-ending darkness of the cell.

*Grrrrr*

The claws stepped into the dim light and soon after, the creature’s spiked teeth came into Clover’s view. It was clear to Clover that it had gone into another rampage.

Clover turned back and started running. The beast chased after her. Clover had to get him outside the castle and show him to everyone. But first, she had to get there in one piece. And the beast was fast. Clover took a glance from over her shoulder and saw the beast closing in.

She couldn’t outrun it and she certainly couldn’t stop it. Could she perhaps teleport it? It seemed simple enough. She just had to cast the spell on the beast instead of herself. But, was it going to work? There was only one way to find out.

Clover turned back, closed her eyes, pictured the scaffold the counsellors set up, and shot a beam at the beast.

---

The beast appeared on the scaffold, among the head counsellors and the guards. Right in front of all the ponies.

It let out its blood-chilling roar and revealed its maw to the crowd.

The guards on the scaffold were frightened and frozen in place and the crowd started screaming at the sight.

“How did this thing come here?” One of the head counsellors looked at Crimson Light, desperate for an answer.

But he too seeked the answer to that question.

“Attack! Hold it off!” Crimson Light commanded the guards around him. They all charged up their horns and shot at it. The creature growled in pain for a second, but then charged at the ponies that attacked him and, with a swipe, tossed them into the crowd.

The civilians scattered away in fear, screaming.

“Clover was right! There is a monster!”

“The council was lying to us?”

“What is that thing?”

“Run! Everpony! Run!”

More guards blasted their magical bolts at the beast, but it shook them off and slashed each one with his claw.

“I thought you said you had it tamed, Crimson Light!” Counsellor Emerald Blast shouted as he too shot a magic beam toward the beast.

The other counsellors joined in and held the beast down to the best of their ability. Screaming in pain, the creature ignored the beams burning its flesh away and charged at the counsellors. It grabbed one and smacked them onto the scaffold, breaking it.

The rest of the counsellors’ eyes widened in shock and and their bodies filled with terror. They realised they couldn’t stop it.

Then, the creature caught sight of a very familiar face, Crimson Light. It gnashed its teeth together and ran towards him. Before Crimson Light could charge his horn, the beast grabbed his neck and raised him up.

“Y-You…were… s-supposed to obey…me!”

Just then, Clover teleported back onto the scaffold. With a quick look around, she realised her magic trick worked. But then, she caught sight of the beast and Crimson Light.

Suddenly, a shimmering light floated out of Crimson Light’s eyes and mouth and entered the beast’s. Meanwhile, the rest of the head counsellors gathered the rest of the guards and held their formation to hold off the beast.

After a moment, the light faded and the beast let go of Crimson Light. The body of the red stallion fell to the ground like a lifeless doll.

“S̷̛̥͉̯̗̖̳̥͎̠̋̂̉̅̓̔͊́͝ͅỎ̶̡͚͌̆̌̄͘Ū̴̧̡̡̟̤͕͎͖̪Ḻ̵̛̼̤͗̽̿͜”

The beast turned back and roared at the remaining guards. It took a step forward, but then held its head in its claws and rolled around in the snow. The claws shrunk and disappeared. What remained was only hooves.

The beast was now only a normal unicorn. The rampage was over. The stallion stepped back and ran off into the horizon.

Clover did not try to stop him. The beast was now free and it seemed to have also gotten its revenge. Instead, Clover looked around in hopes of finding Thunder Feathers. And there she was, lying on the broken scaffold, with snow covering her. Clover quickly ran up to her and brushed the snow off.

“Thunder Feathers? Thunder Feathers, can you hear me?”

She received no response. It didn’t take Clover much time to realise, no fog was forming around Thunder Feather’s muzzle. She was gone.

Clover sank her head in sorrow. “Don’t worry, HE got what he deserved.”

The town was buried in silence.

Suddenly, the sound of royal horns were heard in the distance. On the horizon, the royal carriage emerged from the blizzard. The carriage stopped right at the castle gates and Princess Platinum peered outside.

She took a glance around and approached the scaffold. There, she found her advisor.

“Clover? What happened here?”

---

Mares and stallions, fillies and elders, all were gathered in the throne room. In front of the princess, stood the rest of the head counsellors. Whispers could be heard all around until the princess gave a signal to her guard and he hit his spear to the ground to silence the crowd.

“Citizens of Everlight!” The princess spoke up, “Once I left the capital to attend the tribal negotiations, I decided to leave the nation to the council’s hooves temporarily, believing they were trustworthy to maintain order, just like they did in the past, and serve as humbly as they did to my father. But now that I’ve returned, thanks to my trusted advisor–” Princess pointed her hoof at Clover who was standing next to the throne. “I’ve been informed of the mischievousness and dishonesty of the council. After further inspection, it was clear that the head counsellors have been abusing their powers for quite some time. And sadly, even I was too blinded by the trust and respect I had for them to realise this truth.”

The crowd started whispering again but the guard’s spear hit the floor once more, so they remained silent.

“And hence, I hereby announce that the head counsellors are stripped of their powers and titles! And I will manage our nation from now on!”

The crowd gasped but three more spear hits stopped the crowd from delving into chaos.

“That is all, you are all dismissed!”

The crowd stepped out of the throne room one by one and the guards guided them outside the castle. The head counsellors decided to come closer to the princess, but the guards held them back and pushed them outside the throne room as well.

In a few minutes, the room was emptied of all citizens and Princess Platinum was left alone with her advisor.

“Clover?”

“Yes, your highness?”

“There is something I wish to discuss with you. In the tribal negotiations, it seemed that you were right. The other tribes are dealing with this blizzard as well and the pegasi are not the ones to blame. But..”

“But what, your highness?”

“The state of this storm is getting worse by the second and our food supplies are dwindling. What is your suggestion, my clever advisor?”

Clover pondered for a few seconds before giving an answer. “I… I think our tribe must set out on a journey.”

Princess turned back and glanced at her advisor. “What do you mean by that, Clover?”

“The land is becoming inhabitable, your highness. I doubt this storm will ever stop. We have no other choice. We must leave.”

“You mean–”

“Yes… we must leave the nation, and find a new land free from this storm.”

Princess Platinum looked around her throne room, the castle of her ancestors and her heritage. She had to leave all these behind?

“Alright, then we shall prepare for our trip.”

“Your highness?”

“Yes, Clover?”

Clover hesitated. “Since we are going to leave our city, I think it would be wise to free the prisoners in the dungeons.”

“What?” The princess’s eyes widened.

“Your highness, once we leave, all those who are in there will either starve to death to succumb to the wounds that have been caused during their torture.”

The princess looked down for a few seconds.

“Please, your highness.”

The princess let out a sigh. “Alright. Once we are all ready to move, I’ll order the guards to set them free with some rations.”

“One more thing, your highness. There is one severely injured prisoner that I have in my room. He desperately needs medical attention.”

The princess stared at the young mare for a few seconds. “I hope you have a good explanation for it, Clover. I’ll send a couple of guards to take him to the infirmary.”

“Thank you, your highness.”

“You’re dismissed now. You may leave.”

---

Even though Clover had managed to uncover the secret the council had been keeping away in the dungeon, managed to stop Crimson Light’s takeover, and made sure nopony else would ever go through the suffering the council had inflicted on the innocent souls in the dungeon, she still felt unfulfilled.

Was it because she couldn’t save Thunder Feathers or was it because she still didn’t quite know how the beast in the dungeon came to be? Would Starswirl finally be proud of her?

Still many questions remained. Perhaps in another tale, she would find the answers. In another time and in another place.

Author's Note:

I hope you all enjoyed the story. I'll be going back to write a couple EqG stories. They are some sort of deed I have with myself now that I must pay.

But...

I'm planning a sequel! With zebras!

So, stay tuned for that.

And lastly, I must say I am truly having a blast that the story was received so well. I am really grateful!

I'll end this with this really amazing fanart that Mutter_Butter has made for a scene in the first chapter.

Comments

[ABitterPill]

Welp, at least the douchebag counselors got what they deserved, or at least some of them did. Now, can Starswirl get his head out of his own ass? That remains to be seen.

[LunaticBZ]

Ah so the real monster was inside us all along.

[Greatazuredragon]

Great work.

[Mutter_Butter]

So, the creature seems to be like a werewolf or he got this way through experiments.
Is this a character or creature we know from the show? Or is it gonna come back up in sequels?

[armid]

11326709
He'll come back. We hadnt seen him in the show.

[armid]

11326538
🤣

[Captain Neckbeard]

Your story piqued my interest some weeks ago, so I added it to my RIL. Now I finally came around, and finished it.
I'll try to make this into a review of sorts, but bear with me if it turns out a jumbled mess.

Let me start with that I really liked the story's setting. I always loved the early-season lore of the show, and the events around HWE are a soft spot. And I liked that you actually placed this story before those events, and dared to make up your own setting, with pre-unification unicorns.

The story's premise was pretty good, you actually could create some mystery as just what could be in the dreaded cell of the dungeon, although I admit, the revelation was a bit underwhelming (I bet many readers, not just me, either expected Discord, Sombra, or maybe one of the Sisters to be inside). But I still appreciate you pulled a brave one with this, and it turned out to be someone original. Discord, for example, would have been too obvious. Although some more explanation would have been good at the end who this fellow was, but I'm also aware "the Beast" and its identity wasn't the main conflict here.

Your Clover (I'm saying it like that, because as many writers, there are just as many takes on this character) worked fine as a protagonist, she wasn't overpowered, but was smart enough that the story could flow.
I also liked Thunder Feathers, her convos with Clover were the best written, and I rooted for her once she turned out to be a good gal. Too bad she died in the end, but I appreciate you dared to kill her off, I honestly expected a "happily ever after" ending for her. It was a grim, but from a narrative standpoint, a good surprise.
As for the main villain, Crimson Light, I can't say too much good, he felt too much like a typical, mustache-twirling bad guy, but I guess he served the purposes of the story well.

And as we get to the criticism, let me say that I'm aware English isn't your first language, but it shows you tried your best. As Nailah pointed out, your writing is pretty mechanical, or I should say, your prose is far too simple. It works, mind you, but all it really does is telling us what happened in the purest form possible. What salvages the story despite that, is the (pretty fast) pacing, so one doesn't really have the chance to go "Wow, this prose is far too dry." Mind you, I don't want to dissuade you, but this prose would turn away more readers in a slower paced, longer story.
Also, the dialogue felt stilted and sort of "wooden" in many places. This was especially true for the back-and-forth between Clover and Platinum, for some reason. They communicate in short, very to-the-point sentences, and their conversations end very quickly. I'd expect some more flair, and eloquence from a princess, or if you wrote her like that on purpose, you could have indicated the reasons for her brevity.
But to also give praise here, Clover's and Thunder's dialogue felt much more vivid, and had much better flow, it felt more natural, and as a result, more believable as well.

There were also many typos, and strange word usages in the story, an extra round of proofreading, or two would have done it some good, but it wasn't so bad to make me drop it.
To end my rant, let me just say that conceptually, this story was fine, and you whipped up a quite engaging tale. Narratively speaking, there aren't too many mistakes here, the story bleeds on the technical side, but there's nothing more practice can't solve.
I also suggest you to read a lot, as that can give you a better feel for well-written prose. I know you're ESL (me too), and it can be hard, but please let my review be that makes you press on, and not something that makes you stop.

P.S.: It baffles me though if you can create something like this, why do you dabble in EqG fics. That's about the most uncreative setting for a "pony" story possible. I think the upvote count here shows that well. Write more stuff like this, me says.
P.P.S.: But ultimately, write what you WANT to write, and ENJOY to write.

[armid]

11349444
First off, I'm glad you liked the story so much and thanks for the feedback.

I would say that yes, my prose need quite the work in various terms specially vocabulary. But I guess I can sharpen that one over time.

I would like to note that basically each chapter was edited by one person for the most part and even though there were some overlap, it was hard to learn and get used to them all. (Wouldnt you know, its hard to keep an editor.)

Now, this story, has kick started a different series. "Untold History of Equestria". So if you want more in the similiare setting, stay tuned.

As for EqG, I think its best to note that if it wasnt becuase of it, I wouldnt be here, nor have written this. It holds a special place to my heart, and its a project I want to pull off properly. As I said, its more of a deed I have with myself now.

Thanks again for taking your time and giving this through opinion. I REALLY appreciate it.

[Captain Neckbeard]

11349708
Sure, no problem, I'm glad to give feedback where it shows the author tried. Especially if the end result turned out decent despite all its flaws.

Yeah, it's tough stuff with editors, I'm self-editing most of the time, you just can't help it. They won't flock to you if you're a random no-name, especially if you wanted them to edit a fic longer than 10k.

>Untold History of Equestria
Then I guess I'll tune back in when that happens.

Again, thanks for writing this, and I'm looking forward to your next (pony) fic.

[Petrichord]

Greetings!

Have a review!