Even if it probably won't measure up to those back in Canterlot, Twilight is so excited now that the Ponyville Science Fair is upon them. A chance to see what the town's young minds have cooked up to show their intellectual prowess to the wider world? She can't wait!
Course, she didn't count on Pinkie Pie entering what she assumed was a foal-only event. Turns out that due to an odd loophole, there's nothing stopping grown ponies from competing.
An entry for the first Thousand Words Contest.
Chapters (1)
Poor Derpy. A muffin that inducted electricity would probably win any science fair in the human world.
Blueberry muffins have more energy than bran muffins.
A cockatrice makes things into rock.
Pinkie was raised on a rock farm.
Coincidence?
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Though such a victory would just give a repeat performance all the more reason for disqualification.
For all we know, maybe she did win last year.
In any case, given how inconsistent electricity and its relation to magic is in the show, it’s in the eye of the beholder how impressive a muffin lamp is in Equestria.
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Was wondering how long it would be before someone spotted that. Good spot!
Maybe in a longer piece that was actually about the ramifications of Pinkie’s study proper, rather than the face-turn of her project losing points from minimal evidence and not getting more than one sample instead of its supposed “ridiculousness”, it might have been more than an Easter Egg. But I liked using it this way.
My frank appraisal it that it's nice. Not great or spectacular or griping or anything. Just nice. like a cool breeze just floating along.
While I am not going to favor it, it does (barely) get a thumbs up from me.
It almost needs to be longer but with how light it is making any longer might just bring it down. I could see it being a prolog to a greater, or at least larger, story.
Fun stuff, but the titular gag just doesn't hold up for me. The side attractions land better, but as you noted, the whole story ends up feeling lightweight. Mind you, it's very hard to avoid that with a thousand-word maximum limit. You still managed to fit an entire plot arc in here, which is more than I can say for some entries.
And yeah, after last year's lemon poppyseed dynamo, Best Pony really shouldn't expect a repeat with the same project.
Again, quite entertaining. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
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I’m in complete agreement that the titular gag doesn’t quite work, mostly just skating by with a “I get it, but eh” reaction. Mostly due to the difficulty of crafting 1,000-word stories, a skill I don’t feel I’ve nearly mastered yet; I can’t even claim the first 1500-word draft was better, the tightness all came in the planning stage.
Hence framing the main plot as basically a framework for silly project gags scattered throughout. For if it fumbled, at least there’d be enough chuckles that the reader enjoyed their time. Helped by ending on the best gag (though I think the Lyra/Spike bit is very nearly as good), one I set aside 100 whole words to sell, knowing it needed them. I’m happy to hear it was quite entertaining for you, that’s the best-case scenario for this featherweight piece. Thanks very much!
In some alternate universe, I’m sure, I instead wrote an episode-length story in “Trade Ya!” mode with different science fair stories for many ponies, and I have no doubt it was better. Maybe some day in this universe.
this is already a great Twilight/Spike interaction! augh, Twilight's perhaps-unwarranted enthusiasm is just so infectious, i love her
ahaha well, that is a bit worrying!
aww, visual gags that could be ripped right from the show, in prose form!
ahaha, yes, Pinkie is the perfect foil to Twilight's rule-bound indignation!
i mean, did the spell also put him in a time hole to accumulate an adulthood's worth of experiences and knowledge? if not, Equestria's interpretation of just what constitutes a pony's age does raise some worrying questions...
aww, great to see Madame Pinkie making a comeback! augh, that was so cute on the show
ahaha yeah, Twilight really would have rather forgotten that!
aww, Twilight! haven't you learned what Pinkie Pie's all about by now?
ehehe, a fun distinction
do love how much Twilight cares about how the rules of things work
ah, her need for Spike makes a lot of sense, in retrospect!
you know, given Derpy's established track record in competitions, i definitely expected this to end on the absurdist note of everypony around praising her brilliance to the skies, much to Twilight's chagrin! but still, a perfect and adorable bit of Derpy logic, and grumpy Cheerilee is always a great Cheerilee.
a fun slice of life that feels very much immersed in the world of the canon show! it was great to spend a bit of time with these characters, as well as to reminisce about canon events, as Pinkie points out directly in her fourth wall-breaking way. thank you for writing it!
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Well, this was a pleasant surprise! I see you've posted similar reactionary play-by-play comments on very nearly all entries for the Thousand Words Contest. Wrote them up on initial read while judging and saved them in reserve for after the winners announcement, eh? That's very nice of you! As others have noted, it can be very hard to feel good if one's story doesn't get much or any reactions, and something like this really boosts one's morale. Especially when it's commenting reactionary thoughts you have as you go – for the author reading that, it's like sitting in a cinema watching an audience watch a film you worked on. Or something. So, thank you very much.
Me too. If you haven't gathered, the Twilight/Spike relationship and interactions is one of my favourite/most important things in the show. Any chance I get to write them, I take it. And yes, I had her in Look Before You Sleep in mind as I wrote this.
Well, minus the projects having readable titles here when the show has no onscreen readable text (excepting one or two early episodes). Adapted for the new medium! That said, it's another reason why this would perhaps work great as a comic: I can just picture a one-page panel of the schoolhouse with these and other project gags, and it is glorious.
Yeah, I'd say this is the one part that actually suffered from cutting down the word count (everything else that felt rushed got there via the planning stage). This explanation flowed a little better initially, and had better comic timing, rather then just skating by uneventfully.
But is this a comeback? Maybe this happens before It's About Time.
Let's just say the strikethrough on the
Madamepart is telling…The fact that I, someone heavily against using fandom memes for a cheap gag, included a side wink at Lyra's human obsession should illustrate how much I knew this gag would kill.
This ending is basically the whole reason for the story; it lived in my head as a four-panel comic for months. And fair point off that flashback in The Cart Before the Ponies, but if anypony would not give Derpy a free pass, it'd be Cheerilee. Plus, never give the audience what they expect if there's something better.
I mean, I wouldn't say that was the point of the story, given most of the past events referred to were invented for this story. Pinkie saying that was just her putting a sunny disposition on anything, as she does. But in another sense, this was a deliberate yet subtle throwback to those early show years, with Twilight and Spike's particular characterisation especially feeling very akin to something like It's About Time.
I'm not gonna claim the characterisation here is standout, you wouldn't have to search far to find similar quality in fics back then (or now, if there were more than a trickle of new fics set in the Unicorn Twilight era these days). It's nothing many authors couldn't do in their sleep. But it is subtly effective and has a base competency, and judging by your remarks on varying moments of Twilight, Pinkie and Spike, it worked. Paired with the fun side gags, which is really the point and justification for the whole story (it very much is a cartoon sitcom in written form), it's enough to skate over the plot's main thrust not quite working, and make this a nice, humorous little snack. Thanks for reading, dear!