Daring Do is just minding her own business with treasure hunting, when suddenly she got cursed. To make matters worse, she’s in an embarrassing predicament because of it… . Not to mention that it was pretty new to her… , and slightly humiliating, at best.
Luckily for her, she’s got company. Unluckily for her, it’s a villain. Will this villain help her out with her predicament? Or will Daring Do never be able to live this situation down… ?
The answer to this little mystery might be a little “cute”, if you get the idea
Chapters (6)
Grammar is important to a fiction. This is awful. The idea is good but grammar is not. 2/10.
Ratio'd
Fun read, even if there isn't much of a plot to it, I didn't consider a Sombra and Daring shipping before, the writing is a bit stiff and awaked at times bot is mostly fine. Keep it up dude
I'll be reading this later to see if it's really the worst horror ever created as the vote ratio claims, but I will note that the stories by this author which are NOT about this fetish have much more reasonable ratios; the sort of ratio I would expect from the mostly correct grammar and reasonable sentence structure in the description. In other words, initial evidence says that this hate is about the fetish, but full assessment to come later.
11243509
Uh, the majority of their stories don't have enough votes to even have a ratio…
11243527
If you don’t like the story due to fetish content, why bother being here… ? I mean honestly… . 😒
11243509
Why because of the fetish? Then don’t comment on here
11243501
Thanks
11243451
What does that mean?
11243447
Probably because people like you promote incest with your stories… . Fucking disgusting is what it is. Get a life! 😂
11243424
Grammar is fine. You probably just need glasses
11243552
So... I was trying to defend you, here, but then you jump down my throat... And then you follow up with an insult to somebody else for writing a fetish that's attacked for literally the same reason this one is, displaying a breathtaking lack of self-awareness. Perhaps your vote ratio is deserved, perhaps it isn't; I'm suddenly not so interested in reading to find out.
11243579
You sure? Cuz to me, and the way you worded your sentence, it didn’t even seem in the slightest that you’re defending me at all. Especially with you calling it “a horror” to question whether if it’s even bothering to be worth reading… .
And I called out someone for their fetish because that fetish they have is just illegal. While the fetish I have isn’t, and is more private. So don’t say otherwise because that was justified
Tell me sir whats wrong with this?
Please take a good look at (what are the odds.) I do think you need glasses. Because a sentence with a period needs a space pal. :3. Hope this doesn't scar your lifes work.
11243601
I admit I may have phrased it in less than the optimal way, but I proceeded to provide evidence that it was doubtful whether it was actually as horrible as the votes made it seem. I apologize for the phrasing.
But not for the other part. Incest in fiction is not illegal, at least not in places where fetish content in general is legal. And in places where the act itself is illegal... it's not justified. Or, to put it differently, it's justified as "ugh; that's gross", the same justification for denouncing any fetish, including yours. To say denouncing somebody for having an incest fetish is justified because incest is illegal some places is identical reasoning to claiming that slavery is good because slavery was historically legal. Legality doesn't dictate morality; it should be the other way around, but that doesn't always happen.
Anyway, diaper and related ABDL fetishes are only "legal" because they're so niche that they go under the radar. In the social hierarchy, your fetish is actually below incest, and would be just as illegal in many of the same places if it was brought to legislature's attention. So again, you are displaying an utter lack of self-awareness.
11243615
Depending on what you meant by self awareness, believe me. I’m aware of who I am. I honestly don’t need people like you telling me that I’m not self aware, which I actually am. I don’t need people telling I have bad grammar despite the fact that I know I have bad grammar.
Okay, to put this in simple terms, I just have my own personal opinions, and like to share them. If people hate it, then they should at least have some common sense; which “you” lack obviously.
So don’t go saying that my fetish is illegal. It isn’t! It’s only defined that because people made into a kink! And before you say anything, yes there’s a difference. Look it up.
11243630
You earlier:
Sure.
I didn't.
I double-checked just in case I was misremembering, but it would appear that these are indeed synonymous: An abnormal sexual desire. I'm guessing you're one of those repressed people who don't want to admit that they have sexual feelings, or are even associated with people who have sexual feelings. Religious household?
You're clearly not thinking very straight right now, and it's understandable; all that red can be very upsetting. The best thing to do is take a step back and do something else. Play a game or watch a show you like; treat yourself to not having to think about this mess for a while. Regardless of what you think about me or what I've said here... you're not doing yourself any mental good staring at that red bar or these comments right now.
11243649
Firstly, I’m not overly religious. Secondly, it’s not a kink! It’s different! I don’t find sexual pleasure in diapers, diaper usage, farts, and whatever else stories like these involved. I just find them interesting (not in a sexual manner). And lastly, I know I’m not in a good mental state. It’s not my fault that I have problems like this.
So to put it bluntly, I get it, stop commenting back, and just forget it already… . It’s over!
11243683
Like what? It could’ve been better or something?
Okay, so I'm getting into this story, and well, I just want to say that while the grammar isn't perfect, it's not that bad. A few minor tweaks would have it looking really clean. The much likelier reason it got so many dislikes is for two reasons. The fetish content and the rating. Fetish stories rated for everyone usually get heavily bombarded with dislikes more than the ones rated teen and mature, because they attract more people that are put off by those things. I know it's easy to say that if you don't like fetish material, to just ignore it and move on, but just telling them that doesn't work in practice.
I would reccomend giving fetish related stories a teen rating at least. Not just to close off some of the people that read "vanilla" stories from leaving dislikes and so your ratio is a bit more representative of your quality (though that isn't always necessarily the case), but also because it's safer. You don't want to have your story get removed or get in an argument over it with a site moderator. That's not fun.
Anyways, I'll let you know what I think of the story as a whole once I finish. Want to give you some real feedback. That's the way wroters typically improve. Likes and dislikes alone don't really tell you anything constructive.
11243724
Fair enough… . I’ll try to rate it differently the next time I decide to make a similar story like this.
Not bad.
11243724
Seconded
11243726
Also please try not to take this the wrong way. I'll try to explain a little bit better. As you the writer it is your job to fix the grammar. (taking good care of it.) Sometimes changing peoples minds can affect that you are willing to do so... and that's what a good writer should. Fix the stuff so people can read it clearly. It's not about the fetish of the story... it's the grammar itself and how it was.
The idea is pretty good. I do like the idea for this story. But how it was treated with the grammar is not well done and I hope you go back and fix some of the stuff.
If I was a writer which I am if I made a mistake I go back and fix it. Because of reputation. If I make a bad story of bad grammar and it was.
If it is one of your most hard work when writing a fiction and if you make a mistake it's best to find the problem which is us the critics and make some changes.... (not like story change no I mean just grammar changes is all.)
if a person is trying to rewrite your story there not very good. (what i mean by this is changing the idea) two different things here.
My goal in all of this was hoping you fix the mistake of grammar... not for the idea. (not changing the idea of your story. More of making grammar so it makes more sense.)
Grammarly is my suggestion. Very useful, even the free version.
11243730
Thanks
11243833
Does it work if you’re typing on a phone? Cuz unfortunately, this is what I’m always using since I don’t have access to a computer, nor do I even own one.
11243869
If your phone can get on the internet then my suggestion is yes you can. For grammarly, word, and I think virtual tutor grammar online which is free. Well that is the first option if you like to do stuff alone. Or you can get a person to help you out.
The second option is find an editor, proofreader on this site which there are groups. Some are terrible some are good. You just got to find the right one. (which does take too long and I highly recommend programs.
I don’t understand why this is getting so many dislikes, but I think it would be better to change the rating to Teen and add the Fetish tag. I did that with my story that involved this kind of content and it got disliked much less.
11243869
It should work no matter what. Do you know how to copy/paste on your phone?
Big suggestion: use a Google Drive and get Google Docs. You have an email, so saving your work to the cloud can go a long way.
I fairly enjoyed this read. Each chapter was short but sweet. I was going to give you my main criticisms, but Scout Feather already summed them up better than I was going to. I'm also particularly confused about Sombra and his motivation. He basically goes into the home of a random pony he doesn't know, finds she's under some curse and takes care of her while she recovers from it? I'm not following up on why he's doing any of this. Were any of Sombra's actions established in a previous fanfic you made? The story has the alternate universe tag, but the story refers to Sombra as "a villain". Not sure about what's going on there. This was cute and wholesome, though, I'll give you that. I want to check out more of your work after this. Hope you'll continue writing.
11244300
Thanks! Also, I kinda did put a “random” tag on the story, cuz it wouldn’t make sense, nor does it connect with anything else. Hence why the Sombra x Daring Do non canon pairing
11244048
Oops
11244034
I guess…
11244018
That’s fair
11243918
“Some are terrible, some are good” XD. But in all seriousness, I’ll try my best to use your suggestions when I get the chance, since I’m still fairly new to this site
11244360
Touche
11245103
Hehe 😀
This was great! Ignore all them ponies who say otherwise.
11248134
Thanks friend!
11248356
You're welcome!
quite an interesting start to this story
ooh king sombra huh?
11252421
Thanks
11252775
you're welcome
Kind of agreeing with the dislikes on this one it isn’t all that coherent and seems to just throw random stuff out there.
11278682
Huh??? I know about the dislikes, but what do you mean of the method one… ? I’m confused