Sunset is really upset and frustrated, not because of anyone but just frustrated with everything. She wishes to be along, so to cope with her emotions she turns to running. This catches the attention of a certain rainbow haired girl, and what follows next is nothing Sunset ever expected, but finds herself liking it.
Wedgie, pantsed, and a little bit sexual enjoyment. (Though it’s not explicit.)
Hope you enjoy it! I did not edit this or proof read it, so excuse any bad grammar mistakes. Sorry.😬
Chapters (1)
Hewwo!
Yes, hello!
I must say; this was definitely an unexpected read. First I must congratulate you on the awesome lore/backstory you gave Sunset here. It was quite unique, adding Chrysalis and Zombra as what they are in this. I would love to see it expanded upon, not sure if you took inspiration or something,but it's still a really good touch, *chef’s kiss*
I had seen the latter half... a bit coming... to an extent, but I wasn't expecting the rest. Though surprise is a major key in storytelling/writing.
A comment I have to put out there is the unattatchment we have towards all characters here. Sunset just seemed unlovable... to some extent, she seemed to have not forgotten her old ways, which sure, can be credited to her not truly changing, but I don't like to think it that way. The only thing in my head, separating Sunset Knitter and Starlight Dinner from one another is how they took their reformation, while one completely changed the other still, occasionally, retured to their old ways. So, saying that Sunset remained this way even after her not-perfect-whatsoever reformation is a bit underwhelming to me. (But that's simply my opinion)
Plus Rainbow just doesn't like someone who'd... uh... do that in public, she seems, from what I know of her, to be a girl of secrecy when it's comes to that sort of thing, it's just the sort of vibes Dash has given me (also could my own projection spea,in general up)
Key word there: public.
And Applejack just seemed so... out of place, you could just take her out, and make Dash the one to hold Sunset down, and literally nothing would change. I lieget only read this because I saw the tags Applejack and Rainbow (plus romance) on here, so I suppose it was me getting click acted, huh?
)
Not that I regret it though, SunDash is a mitey fine ship if I do say so myself (thought Aj wouldn't be pleased
Thant being said; I don't hate, despise, unapprove, or dislike this fic at all. I quite enjoyed the first half and even the latter wasn't bad sto me. I just saw some place that might need a bit tweaking or editing or just looking at, and I pointed it out, is all. Character seeming a hpbit out of place/out unlikeable in that moment/replaceable
Hope it wasn't a bother
(Oh and I noticed that you said fuck one second and buck the next, nothing big, just my nitpickey side coming out:
One last, not so critical, thing. I just love how Sunset and Dash are just confessing feelings for one another in front of Aj. Not only is I think awkward for he to just watch two people get together... I think... in such a way, and!! Yes, there's an and! I consider Dash and Aj together in both worlds, plus I saw the romance and the respective character tags, and I was even more cracked up by that fact. The fact that Aj, in my head, had to watch he crush confess to someone else, sad yet hilarious.
Yes, I have a morbid sense of humor, thank you so very much for noticing
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Ah I do love a good AjDash but I felt that in here, Ah would actually be with Rarity. I have a huge Rarijack ship in my heart. I could ship them any time. I don’t normally do Sunset and Dash, but idk, for this story that’s where I took it. I am not sure if I’ll continue this story. But I’ll definitely expand on my idea of Sunset being the daughter of Chrysalis and Sombra.
Yeah, Applejack was kinda just thrown into the mix, I added her in so suddenly. I think it’s because I picture Rainbow Dash having a hard time holding down Sunset Shimmer, but the help of Applejack would help her a lot. So I added her for that. I should have done more with her though.
I’ll probably might write another story but in a different setting and probably with a view and expand it from there. See where it goes.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate your feedback! Thank you so much!💕
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, so I think it is you I must be thanking for the fun, new, Dashie-related read
Ah RariJack, alright. I can't say I ship it... kinda the one I ship the least... or don't whatsoever....
Hm, eh, sure, can't see Dash holding down Susnet for that long either, so I get where you're coming from. Plus, that gives you an excuse to add Aj in this, so I'm pleased
Any fic with Dashie in it, catches my attention quite quickly I'll tell you so much. Especially if it's got Aj in it, as well... with her and Aj not acting like absolute dicks, that is
And I was just saying what's on my mind nothing more
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Thank you! I appreciate it!