Fluttershy, Postal Detective

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While investigating a murder, Fluttershy learns one of the Equestrian Postal Service's biggest secrets, and finds romance in the last place she would have expected.

Preread Credits: Thanks to TheSmokingGuy for prereading (and to Punished Bean and TheSmokingGuy for some logistical help.)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Fillyfoolish

Fillyfoolish #1 · Dec 8th, 2021 · 1 · · A Corpse in the Forest ·

This got weird fast. I like it. Have an uphoof.

SparklingTwilight

SparklingTwilight #2 · Dec 9th, 2021 · 3 · · A Corpse in the Forest ·

Rather strange , but amusing!

QUOTE:" "You have a good point," Derpy said. "But you're not dead. The Postal Service hires outside investigators for only the most severe crimes. KILLING a postal delivery specialist doing her job qualifies. TRYING to kill a bird doesn't. It's unfair, but that's how it is." "

A sad, but true commentary on the use of limited public funds.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #3 · Dec 9th, 2021 · 3 · · A Corpse in the Forest ·

"It's confidential." Fluttershy lifted a forehoof to mime zipping her own lips shut.
"So you have experience. That explains why I was given YOUR name at the station."
"Mm MMM MMMM!" Fluttershy said.
"I just don't know what you're saying!"
Fluttershy mimed unzipping her lips.

This is the sort of thing that happens to you when you have Discord over for tea every week.

"This is amazing!" Fluttershy said. "I've never met a mythical creature before...or at least not since last Thursday."

This is the sort of thing that happens to you when you have Twilight Sparkle for a friend.

Lovely madness, and brilliant use of one of the weirder twists on a classic concept. Thank you for it.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #4 · Dec 10th, 2021 · · · A Corpse in the Forest ·

"You must have been most dreadfully hurt! Your eyes are both pointing the same way!"
"Oh." Derpy giggled.
As Fluttershy watched, the pegasus' eyes slowly diverged to point in different directions. "Ahh! That feels better!"

hehe, fun trope reversal

Derpy gasped. "But pigeonweres are just a crazy story that can't possibly be real, like batponies!"
Fluttershy blushed slightly.

nice reference

The creature made a fist and gently bumped Fluttershy's hoof. "You know me as Lysandra, but my real name is Lysandra Salandra Gitchigoomi."

fun name!

"I would!" Derpy said. "In my home village, some of the more superstitious villagers used to pierce their foals' ears to prove they weren't ponyweres! But I always thought they were being silly."

well that is certainly some fun worldbuilding

"Well...um," Derpy said. "But you're NOT a pony, so you don't get paid enough to single-footedly bankrupt the Postal Service. Fortunately."

oof, exploiting the labor of species minority populations! and i thought Equestria was a nice place...

Mare'm

i do love this form of address, and will totally steal it

Fluttershy leaned in until their noses almost touched. "I think if I had a special somepony, I mean special somecreature, I would want her to be...somewhere in between. Not just a pony, and not just an animal either."

very on the nose, shipping-wise!

Twilight said, "Even if I could do that, what kind of pegasus would it be, if it had lived its entire life as a pigeon? Pegasi need to know how to talk, and so many other things that pigeons don't know."

yes, this is one of the many issues with casual transformation or body-swap magic. the Fluttershy/Angel Bunny episode brings up a lot of questions!

so this was a very interesting set of ideas as always, birb, and fun to read. but the point of the contest was the relationship between the woman and mare, and it felt very wooden and mechanical. you do have the ingredients for a fantastic shipping arc, with Lysandra having always admired Fluttershy from afar, and Fluttershy's canon-established xenophilia shown in Fluttercord, as well as the in-story justification of it which i quite liked. but all of that was presented in the same expository tone as the rest of the dialogue, and only appearing for a spell at the end, and glossed over just as quickly. there's also the issue of having to establish the OC's character within the story, which is always difficult! in this case, while your OC was a character in a very interesting life situation, i couldn't get a feel for her personality or emotional state at all, since she just kind of expositions in a voice that's hard to distinguish from either Derpy or Fluttershy's here.

but it was a fun, weird birb story, and it was nice to see a woman in an interesting situation in the context of Equestria. thank you for it!

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