But I Would Appreciate It If You Stopped Running Away
Rarity stepped lightly off the Friendship Express onto the train platform of the Crystal Empire. Her purple mane and tail were perfectly curled, blue eyes framed with excessively long lashes, and off-white coat groomed to perfection.
She surveyed the city taking in the tall spired buildings formed from faceted crystal and the long roads of polished glass. The sun shone brightly down on the city causing a myriad of rainbow-coloured light to bathe the entire expanse in its shimmering glow.
It was, in Rarity’s professional opinion, a gorgeous view.
Rarity heard a grunt from behind her and turned to see her twenty suitcases of very necessary items being carried by a lanky earth stallion on his back from the train’s luggage compartment.
“Ah, Darling, thank you,” Rarity trilled, “Such a delight to see a proper gentlecolt carry my things for me.”
She trotted over to the stallion and gave him a gentle caress on the shoulder with a flutter of her eyelashes.
The stallion blushed, “Aw, shucks, Ms. Rarity. It ain’t nothing.”
Rarity fought back the scowl that threatened her countenance with the mention of ‘Ms.’.
“Well, Darling,” Rarity continued with what she found to be a somewhat forced friendly tone, “I would think such actions deserve praise.”
The stallion blushed, “Ah, well, that’s very kind of you,” The stallion grunted as his body served to remind him of how much weight he was carrying, “Um, sorry, Ms. Rarity, but where would you like me to place these bags?”
Rarity flashed a terse smile and gestured towards an open area on the edge of the station platform with a wave of her hoof, “Just over there. The hotel staff will be here to transport it shortly.”
The stallion gave a nod and, as gently as he could manage, dropped the suitcases where Rarity had indicated.
“Thank you, Darling,” Rarity said as she used the blue glow of her magic to slip several bits from an open pocket in her suitcase and into the service stallion’s hoof.
The stallion gave a grateful smile, “Of course, Ms. Rarity. Anytime. Let us know if you require any more assistance.”
Rarity gave the stallion a friendly wave goodbye before looking once more across the city and allowing a scowl to mar her pretty face.
Ms.
A most frustrating moniker for a hopeless romantic such as herself. A title that announces to the world that Rarity Belle, eligible bachelorette, one sixth heroine of Equestria, and fashionista extraordinaire is unmarried and, even worse, single.
Every utterance of that short two letter word was akin to a slap to Rarity’s own perfectly done face.
However, that would change soon enough for Rarity had found her one true Prince.
Double Diamond.
Rarity sighed aloud and felt heat overcome her body at the mere thought of her beloved.
A pure white coat akin to a field of freshly fallen snow. A messy white mane that perfectly framed his face. Piercing blue eyes that spoke of strong companionship and devious evenings under moonlight on sheets of satin.
Finally, and most importantly, a Cutie Mark of three gorgeously proportioned and symmetrical snowflakes adorned upon a set of what Rarity considered a fine set of flanks.
He was perfect, a modern day prince.
Rarity fought back her urge to squeal in delight as here, in the city blessed by the goddess of love, she had a chance.
Double Diamond was participating in the annual winter games as a contender in the snowboarding division.
Good luck paired with superior athletic ability. Truly a stallion worth her time.
Having looked into the bookings through an old client, Rarity knew Double Diamond was staying at the Crystal Palace Hotel near the Crystal Palace, rather obvious considering the name, in room #404.
He was close, it was Rarity’s best chance to seduce him, and Rarity knew exactly what she was going to do to start her romantic advances.
“Ms. Rarity?” A polite femine voice called to her.
Rarity turned to look at the mare who had called to her dressed in a standard hotel uniform and pointedly ignored her use of ‘Ms.’, “Ah, hello. You must be the bellhop here to collect my things to bring to the hotel?”
“Yes, Miss,” The bellhop replied.
“Oh, perfect, Darling. My suitcases are just over there,” The bellhop looked at the pile of suitcases and eyed them warily, “Oh, but before we depart, I have a small favour to ask.”
Everything was okay. Everything would be okay. She couldn’t get to him here. He was in the Crystal Empire far away from Our Town and there was no chance that she could track him here.
Even if it was a national event.
Double Diamond took a deep breath and smoothed back his unruly white mane out of his face. As per usual with said unruly mane, it flopped immediately back into its previous position.
Double Diamond made a grunt of annoyance as he lifted his duffel bag filled with his snowboarding equipment on one shoulder. He had qualified for the winter games and he was certain he could take home the top prize as long as he performed as well as he usually did.
And if he could just calm down.
But that wasn’t his fault.
It was that damn unicorn.
Double Diamond felt his mind begin to cloud with dread as he recalled the unicorn in question. She had a purple mane that shrouded her face in shadow, blue eyes that seemed to convey malicious intent, and a pale white coat that gave her an aura of malice.
Rarity Belle.
He had first met her in Our Town. Well, second time, but he didn’t count the cult incident.
She had seemed pleasant enough when they first saw each other. She had been enthusiastic on initial greeting and they had gone to his friend Sugar Belle’s bakery for some scones to share.
At the time, he had thought it might have been a date. A welcome change after a long spell of nothing.
But he had been wrong.
She had introduced herself as Rarity and immediately said that it was a pleasure to meet him.
By name.
That wasn’t really alarming, he had fans in the snowboarding circuit and at the time he couldn’t confirm whether or not he had said his name between her arrival and their time at the bakery.
Nothing wrong with that.
But as they continued to talk, it got worse.
It started with small details about his life. ‘Lucky Guesses’ about his favourite food - Banana Crepes - and his preferred colours - light blues and bright yellows.
He had waved it off again. She had said them playfully; casually like she could just read him well.
Then it became more personal. Things about his family that he didn’t normally share like how he had a bad relationship with his father, or how he hadn’t contacted his sister in several years.
He knew something was wrong when she mentioned the location of a mole he had on his inner back leg.
Double Diamond had left immediately and holed up in his home.
She had been persistent standing at the front door and calling out various things that Double Diamond hadn’t bothered to listen to. She offered flowers and various confections to be shared if he would let her in. When that hadn’t worked, she had held up giant white boards with blocky black letters drawn on them.
His terror ended when time inevitably ran its course and Rarity was forced to leave by train to wherever she had come from.
Probably Tarturus.
More likely Ponyville.
Double Diamond stopped and took a deep calming breath. His feeling of dread began to dissipate, returning him to his normal state.
She wasn’t here. He could spend his time in the Empire relaxing and just focus on winning the competition.
He gave a quick shake of his head and resumed his forward momentum noting the room numbers as he went.
401, 402, 403…
As Double Diamond came to Room #404, he felt his pulse begin to quicken.
Posted on the door at nose height was a post-it note imprinted with a purple lipstick outline of puckered lips.
With a shaky hoof, Double Diamond took the post-it note off the door. The shade of purple was reminiscent of-
No, it couldn’t be her.
He grabbed his room keycard off a cord tied to his bag and swiped it in front of the card reader.
He saw the reader light turn green and heard the telltale clunk of the door unlocking.
With a wary push of the door, Double Diamond trotted into his hotel room. It was the standard fare. A small hallway leading to the main bed area with a connecting en suite bathroom on his right. The only difference from other hotel rooms he’d been in is everything was made from crystal.
More importantly, almost every inch of the hall was covered in post-it notes.
A long line of notes posted along the wall on his left spelled out various greetings like “Yoohoo, stud” and “Hello, gorgeous”. Along the ground were a number of notes drawn with a copious number of hearts in various colours.
Moving past the hallway and looking through the open bathroom door, he saw a myriad of post-it notes with different coloured lipstick “kisses” on the wall placed in such a way to form an enormous heart.
Moving further into the room, he stopped in horror.
Drawn perfectly in what was possibly hundreds of post it notes was an image of a mare winking back at him with a rose clenched between her teeth.
It was Rarity.
Double Diamond screamed.
Rarity frowned in the mirror of her hotel bathroom as she groomed her mane back into its previous perfect shape.
Despite her efforts, her beloved prince Double Diamond still hadn’t galloped into her waiting hooves. Everytime she attempted to make contact, he would run barrelling away from her, crying.
She loved that he was so overcome by emotion at her mere presence, but she was beginning to get offended by the number of times he had run away from her.
Well, that and he had called the Royal Guard on her.
She had been told that he claimed to feel ‘threatened’ by her. Honestly, she could understand a pony being intimidated by her gorgeous demeanor, but having the guard called on her just because they felt they were out of her league was simply ridiculous.
When approached, Rarity had given a wave of the hoof and a toss of the mane as she explained the almost humorous courtship they were undergoing.
By the end of it the Guard were laughing along with her and the whole thing had been thrown out.
Rarity moved away from the bedside vanity of her residence within the crystal palace - provided generously by both Princess Cadence and Shining Armour for her stay in the Empire - and towards a tray sitting by her bedside table.
On it were 8 perfectly baked blueberry cupcakes topped with vanilla frosting fitted with chocolate stencils of Double Diamond’s Cutie Mark.
She tucked a letter on the tray using one of the cupcakes to hold the edge down, and called for room service.
Rarity oh so hoped her prince-to-be enjoyed them.
Double Diamond felt another upheaval from his stomach as he vomited into his hotel room toilet. Again.
He groaned in agony as he turned his head to the side to lay it on the rim of the toilet seat.
He looked out the open bathroom door towards the standing table by the door with a silver platter of cupcakes situated on the table. One of the cupcakes closest to the edge had several large bites out of it.
It had only been around a minute after consumption that he felt it coming back up.
As he watched, a piece of paper slid off the tray and fluttered next to him. He read the one sentence written in a cursive script on the page and felt cold dread take hold of his body.
“Hope you like the cupcakes, stud muffin - Rarity”
She was trying to kill him.
The cupcakes had been poisoned. If he had eaten any more he could be-
He would be-
Double Diamond felt the urge to scream as he was overcome by fear, but was cut off as he felt another round of poisoned cupcake race up from his stomach.
Rarity frowned up at the stadium entrance. Two Guards stood on the inside checking the tickets of various attendees. It was the day of the Winter Games and the snowboarding competition was set to start soon.
After having the hotel service deliver the cupcakes to her beloved, he hadn't left the hotel once since then.
It was truly stopping her ability to woo her future prince.
She gave a beleaguered sigh and noticed a service entrance to the left of the main stadium entrance that had been left open.
Presumably it led to the utility rooms, storage areas, and, more importantly, the competitor’s hall.
Rarity smiled and trotted through the door.
Survive the competition.
That’s what Double Diamond repeated to himself as he trotted along the twisting corridors of the stadium’s backstage area.
He just had to perform, cross the finish line and then he could be on his way home before Rarity could possibly catch up with him.
He was going to lose. The past few days had stressed him long past his breaking point and there was no way he could focus enough to do well.
But it didn’t matter.
Being alive was more important and the sooner he finished the event the sooner he could take measures to ensure that.
He hadn’t thought to skip, but she was attending the event. If he did the competition as normal, she wouldn’t clue into his plan to run away from the winter games early to avoid her.
And even if she somehow managed to catch up with him, he had some ‘backup’ hidden in his saddlebags.
A hard right turn and he found himself in the home stretch towards the competitors hall past several corridors and locked doors that lead presumably to storage rooms.
Double Diamond took a deep breath to steady himself. This whole nightmare would soon be over. All he had to do was-
“There you are, Darling,” a melodic voice called out.
Double Diamond watched as the root cause of his fear rounded the corner ahead of him from one of the corridors wearing a sinister smile and a pair of saddlebags over her back.
She tossed the curl of her mane back with a flick of her hoof and approached him, still presenting that horrid smile.
She was coming for him.
Double Diamond swung his head into his saddlebags and grabbed a stainless steel knife he had taken from the hotel’s kitchen using his mouth. He dropped the weapon into his right hoof and held up against Rarity.
“Stop right there,” He shouted.
His breathing had become ragged and his body shook from the overdose of adrenaline running through him.
Rarity stepped back with a hoof to her chest, shocked Double Diamond’s outburst, “Darling, what? I’m confused. Why ever would-”
“Don’t come any closer or I’ll-I’ll-” Double Diamond said between shallow gulps of air, “Kill you. I’ll kill you before you can kill me.”
A look of concern overtook Rarity’s face, “I don’t understand, Darling. Why would you think I would want to kill you?”
Double Diamond couldn’t believe her. She was still trying to confuse him. To trick him, let his guard down.
He wouldn’t fall for it.
“Think?” He exclaimed, “I know. All of those things you did. All things to make me panic, slip up.”
Rarity tilted her head to the left, “What things?”
Double Diamond could only stare at her in disbelief, “What things? How could you not know what you did!”
“I apologize, perhaps I hadn’t not realized what I was doing was wrong,” Rarity attempted to placate, “Would you be so kind as to remind me?”
“Back in Our Town,” Double Diamond started, his hold on the knife in his hoof shaking, “All that information you had about me.”
Rarity looked sheepish, “Oh, well, that was out of line. Forgive me. You see, I had been so excited to get to know all about you that I had asked Starlight Glimmer about what she knew.”
“You asked Starlight Glimmer?” Double Diamond questioned, “Wait, how could she possibly know all of that? Also, why did she tell you?”
Rarity coughed into a hoof, “Well, I may have asked to know everything about you and, well, Starlight was running a rather extensive study on the viability of removing Cutie Marks,” Rarity’s cheeks became tinged a light pink, “I unfortunately had never thought just how much information that actually was and with Starlight feeling rather guilty over everything that happened during the whole time travel debacle she was a little too willing to divulge all of that information.”
Double Diamond suppressed a groan of annoyance. Of course Starlight knew all of that about him. He had been required to give her everything he knew for the sake of the experiment.
He made a mental note to speak to Starlight later about the intricacies of private information.
Of course, what Rarity said makes sense, which could mean-
Double Diamond shook his head to clear out the traitorous thought. That didn’t absolve her of the other things she had done.
“What about the post-it notes in my hotel room?” Double Diamond accused, “How did they get there?”
“Housekeeping,” Rarity readily replied, “I had told them that it would be a nice surprise, and, from this encounter, I gather that I at least got the second part right.”
“The food,” Double Diamond continued, “You poisoned it.”
Rarity visibly winced, “Ah, well, it appears that no amount of baking classes with Pinkie Pie will allow me to escape my family’s rather poor cooking abilities. Honestly, I thought I could at least manage better than my little sister by creating something edible.”
All of her reasons made sense. They were reasonable. Perfectly logical. Yet, it still didn’t explain the core reason she would do all of this.
“Alright, that all checks out, but it still doesn’t answer the most important question,” Double Diamond took a deep steadying breath, “Why did you do all of this?”
Rarity raised both eyebrows in question, “Of everything that had happened I would have thought that was the most obvious thing.”
“What is?”
“Well,” Rarity’s fur turned a deep shade of red as she bit her bottom lip nervously, “I have a rather substantial crush on you.”
Double Diamond paused a moment to parse what Rarity had said.
“A crush? A CRUSH?” Double diamond yelled, “You did all of that over a crush?”
“What can I say, Darling,” Rarity giggled, “You are quite the stallion and I’m a hopeless romantic,” Rarity put a hoof to her chin in thought, “First time my advances have been perceived as intent to murder. Though, I should have perhaps toned it down as it were.”
Double diamond released an exasperated sigh and felt the tension drop form his body, “Yes, Rarity. Next time, please just ask me out on a date instead of doing whatever it is you were doing.”
“Of course,” Rarity then cleared her throat, “Now that we’ve cleared up the misunderstanding, Double Diamond would you care to go on a date with me after the competition?”
“You ask now?” Double Diamond stated incredulously, “After all of that?”
“But of course.” Rarity gave a short laugh. “I can’t even think of a better time than now.”
Double Diamond mulled over his thoughts. She had gone too far, but he hadn’t been much better by immediately assuming she was out to kill him. Looking back on the whole fiasco, he couldn’t help but find his behaviour cringeworthy.
Besides, as much as Double Diamond wanted to ignore it, she was attractive. Her perfectly groomed white fur, the curled purple mane, and those glittering blue eyes were practically irresistible.
Now that he knew she wasn’t out to kill him, she might have been on to something about this being the best time.
“Sure, Rarity,” Double Diamond answered, “I’d love to, right after I finish with the competition.”
Rarity gave him a dazzling smile that caused a warm feeling to overtake him. She trotted toward him, and, this time, he allowed it.
“That is fantastic to hear, Darling,” Rarity gleefully announced, but then looked over at him quizzically, “Though are you sure you’re ready to compete? I had thought you had looked, well, frazzled, but considering what you had thought was happening, I don’t necessarily hold that against you.”
“Yeah,” Double diamond chuckled, “I’m pretty stressed out, but no worries. I’m feeling much better.”
Rarity giggled as well then changed her expression to something more enticing.
“Well, I certainly feel terrible about being the cause of your dismay,” Rarity leaned in closer until she was only an inch away form his muzzle, “If you need to unwind we could always take a moment to ourselves.”
Rarity’s horn lit up with the blue glow and Double Diamond noticed a nearby door swing open revealing a dimly lit storage room.
Double Diamond felt himself heat up, “Y-You want to-,” Double Diamond gulped, “Well, I mean, I don’t know Rarity. I’m supposed to be at the starting line soon and-”
Rarity stopped Double Diamond’s rambling with a single hoof to his face, “Now, now, Double Diamond. I caused you undue harm, and I simply cannot abide not doing my utmost to remedy the situation. Stop overthinking it.”
Double Diamond bit his lip nervously before replying, “I mean, yeah sure. I would love for you to, uh, remedy the situation.”
Rarity smirked before glancing to the side and frowning, “Oh, but before we continue, shall I take care of your knife?”
Double Diamond was confused before remembering he had been holding the knife still in his hoof.
“Oh, right that,” Double Diamond said, “Yeah, sure. If you don’t mind.”
Without another word, Rarity’s magic surrounded the implement and gently removed it from Double Diamond’s grasp. She moved it to be telekinetically floating just to the left of herself with the blade facing up.
Rarity then gave Double Diamond a chaste kiss and moved towards the storage room. She flicked Double Diamond’s snout with a toss of her tail and gave a wink.
Double Diamond gave a nervous chuckle before trotting past Rarity into the room. He dropped his saddlebags by the door.
Rarity smiled and, with a sway of her hips, followed after him. The door closed behind them shortly after.
The knife stayed floating next to Rarity.
There was the sound of static as the intercoms posted throughout the stadium turned on.
“Calling for competitor Double Diamond. Report to the starting line,” a monotone voice called out from the speakers.
Rarity trotted out of the audience entrance to the stadium while tucking an unknown object into her saddlebags and holding her entry ticket in her magic in front of her.
She stopped at the base of the stairs leading to the bleachers, glanced around the seating area and quickly found her assigned seat.
She began the climb up the stairs.
“Second call for competitor Double Diamond. Report to the starting line.”
Rarity double checked her ticket, confirmed that it was in fact the correct seat and sat down while carefully dropping her saddlebags next to her in a nearby empty seat.
She tucked her ticket back into the front of her bag and lifted out a compactor with a tube of light purple lipstick.
She opened up the compactor to reveal a personal mirror and several basic makeup necessities.
Twisting the tube of lipstick, she began applying the makeup to her lips.
“Third call for competitor Double Diamond. Report to the starting line.”
Satisfied with the results, Rarity tucked the compact with the lipstick inside of her bags and turned towards the starting line for the snowboarding competition of the Winter Games.
She gave her absolute most radiant smile.
“Final call for competitor Double Diamond. Report to the starting line.”
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- daOtterGuy · 3.8k words · 12 1 · 438 views
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This was a pleasure to read; really fun! Can't say anything else without ruining it.
That...escalated quickly.
Suspenseful and well written. Good job!
But uh, what happened to him....? Cuz I'm scared
Although I can think of or guess multiple scenarios, I'm still not really sure why Double Diamond hasn't shown up for a particular event so far. I think it's either ambiguous, or kind of without obvious motivation on the part of the pony who was carrying a...kitchen tool.
To the author - hi. glad to see you're writing again😁
i've doing okay with everything that has gone on in the past year or so
p.s: just wanted to give ya a small update & have no interest in reading this fic as i'm too fixated on way too many things irl!
Oh hey! Stalkerity in action!
Wow! I was afraid you wouldn't stick the landing. But...you did it! excellent stuff!
As I figured out what was going on in this story, I wasn't sure I was going to be on board with Rarity's characterization. It's like a funhouse mirror version of her that only really scans if you accept the distortion.
If you can get over that, then this was a suitably engaging story that I'm loathe to discuss without spoiler text. A lot of the fun of it comes from the buildup and reveal of information.
The buildup and reveal was perfect. I doubted just how evil she was at the end, too. Nice job doing more with less. Knowing when to hold back is a great skill, and it's clear that you know what to focus on and what to keep ambiguous. Definitely a good suspense story.
cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/875099698791321610.png?v=1
really enjoyed this contrast with Rarity's description of him, very fun structure
snrt
never would i have thought the mental image of hundreds of pictures of Rarity would be unsettling to me
oof, a bit too real! disturbingly believable, with her own access to power as you point out in the very next paragraph.
And the buildup at the confrontation to a false resolution with ominous undertones, followed by that last scene which was just cinematic perfection, very nice and understated. But back to the confrontation. This line struck me:
because it felt very similar to how I write Rarity! I mean, it feels like your Rarity lines throughout really felt closer to the version of Rarity I have in my head than actual canon Rarity, if that makes sense? Like they would be how I want to write her, which made your depiction of her resonate with me, which was strange because this Rarity is strange!
Rarity as a force of nature. As a carapace, all passion and delight and flourish and melodrama, but with inscrutable motivations and a complete lack of genuineness. What's interesting is that this a consequence of taking Rarity's (and the rest of the Mane Six's) bizarre position in society seriously. Such familiar and easy access to the highest levels of state power (the Princesses, the ruling monarchs!), and even beyond that, access to power itself directly, through their Elements and the knowledge they gained from their bizarre adventures (Starlight Glimmer!). all adding up to ponies that it would be truly frightening if they were anything other than the genuinely good and somewhat naïve characters depicted on the show. anyway, i can totally see that you're into horror!
Error, room not found.
I must say, just y the first scene I'm loving this Rarity. It has the right balance of creepy and amusing to be a both entertaining and dangerous "antagonist", and by gods do you point out how much of a bitch she can be at her worst.
And this only persists during the entire story, the fact that you never go over the top with the creepy factor in her makes the two twists the story has work perfectly, and specially the ending, which could truly go either way. that I think shows writing prowess, as the balance is much more difficult to pull off.
Another thing that this balance allows the story is to be absolutely hilarious at times despite the kind of Rarity we're dealing with. Each section of Double Diamond (which I have to add, I have never written/read in any meaningful way) was a delight of hilarious, since his over the top reactions really sell this to be a probable comedy.
This is a kind of story that only a good writer can pull off, and you've proven to be so.
PS: I was slightly disappointed that the explanation for Rarity's knowledge wasn't Pinkie's party archives, I feel like that would've been a more believable reason and add some of Pinkie's creepiness to the fix, but I can see that Double Diamond might not believe something so personal.
This story is creepy, and doesn't try to hide it. Rarity is painted both as a stalker, but also to me at least, as a different being. Well, until she isn't. The bit where the misunderstanding happens is amusing, but it also confuses me. Considering it seems like she actually did kill him, I have to wonder what it was all about.
Anyways, the suspense was perfectly done. You lay out Rarity's attitude from both perspectives and keep her thoughts cryptic and full of possibilities. Double Diamond is in his right to be scared, because this is far from normal behavior.
The setting was great. It made use of the Crystal Empire, it gave Diamond a reason to stay, and it made the final section all the more terrifying. This story could not have been better in any other location.
I'm honestly surprised that this isn't a horror, but at the same time, it made the ending hit a lot harder when I didn't expect anything like it to happen. Bravo!
Hi hi, you have a review of this story awaiting you in the Reviewer's Mansion! Come take a looksee!
Well, I didn't expect the story to go in this direction, lol. At first, I wasn't a fan of Rarity's characterization, but then I saw you were going for a crazy stalker story. This was pretty fun, even if the very end doesn't make much sense except as a twist.
Not the story I expected, but one I enjoyed anyways. Should've looked at the tags I guess