i cant name things help
"Hey Twilight." Said Spike, entering the crystal castle's library.
"Hi, Spike." Twilight replied, acknowledging the small dragons entrance.
Twilight was currently indulging of an old pass-time of her's; reading. It was one of those rare days where she finished all her princess duties, and has some extra time on her hooves
Spike sits down in the seat across from Twilight, and suddenly becomes very interested in his claws, scratching one with the other. Twilight sighs, and puts her book down. She knows what that means; Spike always likes to mess with his claws when he has question on his mind. She decides that she should address it now and get it over with.
"Spike."Twilight says clearly. Spike perked up. "Do you have something you want to ask me?"
Spike looked at Twilight hesitantly, "Yes, actually.. how'd you know?"
"I had a feeling."
"Okay, so....." Spike scratched his chin as he visibly thought about what to stay. "i was looking for Rainbow Dash, so I could show her these recently Wonderbolt comics I got, and I found her at the local bar, okay? And she was just drinking with this orange pegasus guy."
"Okay..." Twilight says, concerned.
"They're really drunk, right? And, they went into this bathroom, and a few minutes go by, okay?" Spike thinks for a moment. "And then Rainbow starts yelling real loud, and long story short..." Spike shifts in his seat, and his expression turns to one of concern."Twilight, what is heat?"
Twilight just stared at him. She couldn't believe what she just heard.
But Spike kept going.
"Also, why would she get arrested for it?" Spike asked, his brow furrowing. "I heard one of the cops say something about 'public sex' or something."
Twilight felt her mouth drop.
"Twilight, I have some more questions." Spike continued.
"Okay...."Twilight mumbled, actually scared of what was to come.
"What is cocaine?" Spike asked nonchalantly.
"SP-SPIKE!" Twilight shouted, thoroughly alarmed. "Where in Equestria did you hear that word?"
But Spike didn't answer, he kept going.
"What is a lesbian, and why Trixie call you one?"
Twilight felt her face redden. "Wha-"
"What is a succubus, and why is Berry Punch walking around town saying she is one?" Spike inquired.
Twilight was making odd mouth noises now.
"What is a 'pussy?'" Spike continues. "I thought it was a cat at first, but the way Button Mash was saying it is making me think otherwise."
"Spike-"
"What is a human, and why does Lyra always talk about them?"
"Spike, please.."
"Oh, I got a good one! Are we fake?" Spike asked.
"What.. what do you mean?" Twilight was genuinely confused by this one.
"Like, are we just fictional characters made to entertain a young audience, but an older one found us, and started to watch us as well? Did they then take us, and put us into weird, comedic scenarios that wouldn't actually happen in the first place, based upon the morals of equine society? Did they also take us, and put us into perverted, sexual events that also would never happen, because of the aforementioned morals? Did they also choose favorites, and pinned them together in a romantic relationship, writing about how they could see them together, getting married, and having children? Did they also create alternate versions of our world, tearing apart what made us, us? Did they also happen to insert themselves into our world usually under different names, and often with different personalities? And finally, why does Pinkie have the answer to all of this?" Spike finally finished.
Twilight sighed in relief; finally, a question she could answer. "No, Spike. That's ridiculous." She chuckled slightly.
"Okay, I was just wondering..." Spike said. "Oh! Are you gonna answer my other questions?"
"Uh... I'll try." Twilight cleared her throat. "Heat is the feeling a pony get's when she's ready to 'make babies,' as some say."
"Okay."
"Cocaine is a drug, and you should never EVER even CONSIDER using it." Twilight continued.
"Noted."
"I tell you what a succubus when you're older." Twilight finished. "And that is all I am answering."
"Ahem." A voice from the corner of the room. A rather familiar voice. "Are we just going to ignore the fact that a baby dragon just had an insanely specific extensional crisis, and you just brushed it off like he was asking you if pigs can fly!"
"Hi, Discord." Twilight deadpanned. "Also, pigs can't fly."
Discord uncrossed his arms - yes he was crossing his arms - and stared at Twilight. "They can't?"
Twilight sighed. "No, Discord..."
"Then, what's flying towards that window right now?" Discord asked, pointed towards the closest window. As if on cue, the window bursts open, and in comes a sweaty, bruised, and slightly drunk looking, Rainbow Dash. "Ah, nevermind."
"Twilight!" Rainbow shouted in panic, running towards the unicorn in question. "I need your help!"
Twilight, who was visibly becoming irritated, sighed heavily. "With what?"
"Keeping me out of prison!" Rainbow then started speaking really quickly. "Okay, so, for context, I was drinking with an old buddy of mine at the bar, because we were celebrating that I was enlisted as an official Wonderbolt, right?" Twilight nodded automatically, not really even listening at this point. "So we got really drunk, and we both went the bathroom, and, uh, we, um..." Dash's face then became extremely red, before she shook her head, and continuing. "Anyway, I need your help! PLEASE!"
"Sure, whatever." Twilight was reading her book again, not listening.
"YES! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANK" Rainbow went on, hugging Twilight as tight as pony-ly possible. "Alright, see you!!" She then preceded to fly out the smashed window she came in through.
"Mm." Twilight hummed.
Today was going to be a long day...
"Storm, what are you doing?"
"Shh, I'm making a story!"
"Is this going going to be like the last time?"
"Faust, what do you mean?"
"What I mean is, last time you 'accidentally' created a paradox that ended all life, except you and I, and I had to fix everything."
"Uh.... no. It's not going to be like last time."
"Fine. Just don't break anything."
"I won't"
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Really funny.
10771184
Thanks, my dude.
lol
lol what the hay did I just read?
Ha
Twilight's going to have to answer those questions eventually...or at least the ones she actually has an answer to
Too bad. I gave you an upvote. đź‘Ť. It's absurd, enormously funny, and delivered with impossibly well-sequenced comedic timing. I'm putting it on my stories I recommend list. Worse, I'm giving you the coveted gold star. đź’«
Sometimes letting the words flood the page and resisting the urge to edit for reasonableness is the right choice. I'm going to take note of the concept.
I nearly pissed myself.
"Hi, Discord." Twilight deadpanned. "Also, pigs can't fly."
... "Then, what's flying towards that window right now?" Discord asked, pointed towards the closest window. As if on cue, the window bursts open, and in comes a sweaty, bruised, and slightly drunk looking, Rainbow Dash.
The misbehavior in the joke for a jock just enlisted in an elite military corp actually works for RD if you think about it. Good job!
10771523
Okay, uh....
Aw, man, ya gonna make me tear up, you...
I did all of that on complete accident, writing it in a fast-paced "Type now, think later" sort of mind set.
Glad it worked out.
Thanks for the comment, man!
Lotsa love!
đź’•
10771480
(Laugh chain time lol)
Ha
Sometimes I make requests of my readers to see if something or another got understood, noticed, figured out, etc. It’s that I want to learn something. That earns a gold star. I feel I learned something from you.
Don’t get cocky, but don’t ignore what you’ve done, either. Sometimes I go into a fugue and 15 hours later I’ve written a novella. Getting it out and on paper (or computer) is so important. I’m not saying what I wrote, or what you wrote, could not benefit by some proofing, but...
okay...
Let me put it this way. Any other day, this story would have feature boxed, maybe up to first, at the rate you got upvotes and views. It’s a crying shame that it did not! Too much competition, today.
I’m hoping overnight, that will change.
10772131
I honestly don't know what to say...
Learned something?
From me?
I'm quite frankly honored.
Never before has someone said this to me.
And once again, I find my self at a lack for words..
Thank you, kind stranger, and I hope our paths cross once more!
(Okay, um, that sounded out of place, but whatever."
10772163
One last thing: I posted your story to some groups to try to boost the story. Keep writing.
UPDATE: I made a forum post on the Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau Group. Don’t hate me.
10772131
Yeah I agree. There was just too many popular stories like The Alicorns Warrior, Twilight Gets A Puppy, The Negotiations-Verse Story, Griffon Of Canterlot, Some Leech, getting in there was basically impossible.
But this definitely deserves being FEATURED. No doubt about that.
10772563
The way the feature list works, very popular stories that aren't new but are newly updated, such as The Alicorn Warrior, always appear in one of the bottom three slots, but new stories appear in the top seven slots (top slot being the most popular). Thus the competition from new stories is never from older stories, but from new ones.
Although it is possible for an updated story to go from the bottom three to one of the top seven slots if it gets enough likes. Even then, they are always newer stories that were submitted less than 2 (maybe 3) weeks ago and are extremely popular stories (even for a featured story) to pull that off, and don't happen very often.
Â
10772719
well this story is feature-tier in my opinoin
10772723
I was just explaining how the feature list works since how the bottom three stories are selected isn't known by a lot of users.
Regardless, this story is featured now with the mature mode turned off.
10772729
yay!
10772729
W H A T
Contracts to being featured dude. XD
10772765
Featured at 10:01 AM PDT at 7th. Nice!
It may have gotten higher. Don't know how to figure that out. Anypony?
Why do you hate such a glorious creation made by your own hand? This is a 12/10 in my book.