This story is a sequel to My Little Pony Friendship is Magic What If?: Volume 13
While we wait for the Gen 5 series to come out, let's take another look at Gen 4 and some more material still yet to be touched. It's that time yet again! Time for that series which dares to ask and seeks to answer that fateful question "What if that episode had been written differently?"
This time around, thirteen episodes are being rewritten here. This includes the last two episode of Season 3, making it the first season to be fully rewritten in this series. In addition, we're going all the way back to the pilot with a rewrite of the first two episodes. And we've also got redos of two Season 6 episodes, one of which is based on information made public from leaks. And those are just some of the episodes on tap this time.
The exact same disclaimer from all volumes prior applies, the episodes rewritten are based on my personal opinion so please respect it. Don't get offended if an episode you liked is on the list here, or an episode you didn't like isn't on this list. I'll gladly respect your opinions if you respect mine.
Of course it goes without saying by now but I obviously mean no disrespect of any sort to Hasbro, the DHX writing and editing staff, or anyone who likes the episodes that appear here. The intent of this fic, like all of its predecessors, is for entertainment purposes only.
As always, there are too many volumes now to link to every single one. So either check my homepage for the first volume and go from there, or use the also liked and similar pages to check for earlier volumes to see whether an episode has already been covered.
Thanks very much for getting this started. Definitely appreciate the work that is going into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-ups in all the right places. And, yeah, your points in the author's notes are pretty valid too. Anway, definitely appreciated how Twilight already shows Spike a bit more appreciation here as well as the explanation that Spike only had trouble keeping up because Twilight was dictating too fast. Plus, the subtle alterations to first meetings with each of the rest of the Mane Six make sense as well.
On to the next chapter.
Again, very good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. VERY definitely appreciated the subtle alterations to the scene in the library where they found the book on the Elements as well as the alterations to Applejack and Rainbow's Element trials, as well as the arguments between Luna and Nightmare and Nightmare at least making an attempt, however failed, to stop Twilight when she was doing her speech. The actual explanation for where Celestia was throughout all this was good too.
Again, on to the next chapter.
Again, excellent work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. And, yeah, the points you made in the author's notes are also well taken. I certainly appreciated how it was explained the reason they didn't go through this a year earlier was because they were too busy with the move. I also understand the reasons for cutting out certain scenes because they were either demeaning or weren't important to the narrative.
And, again, on to the next chapter.
Once more, you did a REALLY good job on this chapter. The exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up are all well done as usual. Definitely liked the foreshadowing for Spike and Mac's "game nights" as well as Twilight doing a better job sharing the evidence. As well as the point that some crooks ARE better about NOT leaving obvious clues than others. Not every smart criminal is like the Joker or Riddler, who leave THEIR clues ON PURPOSE.
And, again, on to the next chapter.
Once more, you did a great job on addressing the issues you mentioned in the author's notes. The exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up are quite well done of course. And yeah, better look at Scoots' family life AND Luna's role in managing the dream world.
Again, on to the next chapter.
Again, really good job on this chapter. Definitely appreciate the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations, action, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up. Definitely appreciated the greater detail on the complaints concerning Lightning Dust's behavior as well as Soarin's role in addition to the other subtle alterations.
On to the next chapter once again.
Again, you did a very good job on making the flow and reasoning of an already great episode make even more sense. Yeah, definitely appreciated Spike getting a bit more respect as was as Lyra getting included and Moondancer's further reasons for turning her back on friendship. Admittedly, I STIIL think it would make a lot more sense to have this episode replacing "The Ticket Master" as the episode immediately following the pilot (i.e. Twilight returning to Canterlot JUST long enough to pack a few prized belongings for the move to Ponyville and explaining things in pony to her parents and big brother before something made her realize just much she needs to make up for). Still, I can understand why you wrote it the way you did and I DO respect that.
Some possible ideas for Volume 15:
"Winter Wrap-Up": No rule against unicorns using their magic during Winter Wrap-Up (as that sounds WAY too tribalist, even if it WAS the only way the writers could think of to keep Twilight from getting everything done in three minutes) - but Twilight DOES get the idea about organization MUCH sooner after hearing from the girls about three of the biggest Winter Wrap-Up disasters (all shown in flashbacks).
"Best Night Ever": The episode is focused almost entirely on Celestia and Luna (especially since this is the latter's first Grand Galloping Gala since coming back) with Twilight and her friends only getting passing mentions throughout. In addition, there could be some Small Name, Big Ego crook trying to break into the Gala to try to rob everybody (I mean, come on, all of those celebrities, Princesses and other general rich ponies all under one roof? No way some crook wouldn't get sorely tempted) only to get constantly thwarted by the Guards. Celestia, of course, would admit to Luna that the Galas tend to be pretty dull, especially for somebody who has gone through them every year for more than a thousand.
"Of the Sweet and Elite": Rarity comes clean MUCH sooner, plus Spike is helping out the girls (in ways that DON'T come across as demeaning). In addition, Twilight's parents, Shining Armor and Cadance ALSO make appearances (JUST before Shining proposes to Cadance) to give Twilight birthday greetings.
"Hearts and Hooves Day": Instead of the focus being on the Crusaders, Mac and Cheerilee, the focus could be on Shining Armor and Cadance (to provide the latter with at least one appearance before the second season finale) and how they and other then-Canterlot couples celebrate the holiday. Plus, come on, the alicorn of love on a day devoted to love? How does that NOT make sense?
Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.
11153950 I could see about doing the "Hearts and Hooves Day" idea as a flashback episode, maybe as the replacement in Season 8 for "What Lies Beneath" since I integrated that into the events of "School Raze" and "A Trivial Pursuit".
11153977
Yeah. Thanks very much for thinking about that. Definitely really appreciated.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/memebases-my-little-brony/images/e/e0/Objection.png
Hold it right their Princess Celestia. What you just said makes no sense and contradicts what we just witness earlier.
That being you supposed to be there in town hall to raise the sun. You would have to be there. Mayor Mare wouldn't have started the ceremony if you weren't. Plus, there were Royal Guards there, so they must have flown you to ponyville. And yet you mysteriously disappeared. You can't say that Nightmare Moon teleported you to your castle than sealed you inside. There's no way she could do that in such a short window of time, and you just said she couldn't best you in a magical showdown. Thus, implying that she was too weak. Cause she sure did best you the last time you two fought.
So, if her magic really was that weak. You could have broken her seal, no problem. Not only that but you knew she was coming. So, catching you by surprise is impossible. The only way she could seal you in your castle the way she did, was if you were still there and not in Ponyville. Yet you weren't in Ponyville but the ceremony started with you not being there! Why? That also makes no sense.
Nothing about this whole thing makes any sense. Like why the Summer Sun Celebration being hosted in Ponyville, when it has always been done in Canterlot? I’m willing to bet you will never even try to host anywhere else in the future, but Canterlot. Because there's a big, TALL reason why the celebration is always hosted in Canterlot only.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/0/0f/Canterfeat1.png/revision/latest?cb=20180723005608
How were you able to reply to Twilight’s letter so fast?
Also why did the ponies, that YOU listed for Twilight to meet, just happens to be the ponies to represents the elements?
Why were those same five ponies, were the only ones to follow Twilight and get answers?
Why did those five go into the ever-free forest to fight an evil alicorn? AJ and Rainbow! I can understand. Pinkie somewhat, but Rarity and especially Fluttershy. Rarity hates getting dirty and Fluttershy is too big of a scardy cat. Shy would never go and try and fight the very being that represents the very holiday that she's too afraid of. Nightmare Night. So why did she go.
Why didn't Nightmare Moon just fly to the castle and steal the elements? She more than fast enough to reach the castle way before the Mane six.
Why did everything NM did just happens to help the girl's show off their elements to Twilight?
How is that NM could seal you in your own castle but can't stop 6 normal ponies?
You see nothing makes sense. Not to mention that Twilight just happened to obtain a book on the same day Nightmare Moon returns. She learns a story about Nightmare Moon. When the only story ever told about her is the Nightmare Night tale. So why does that book exist and why does Twilight even have it in the first place.
Face it Celestia. You've been lying and manipulating things from the start and it's only going to get worse from here.
I would love to see how you explain yourself when Tirek shows up.
Nope they're screwed. The Cakes would either ban them or make them work in their shop to pay off all the time and money they wasted into making that cake.
Hey there. Thanks very much for getting this posted. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up are quite well done. And, yeah, the points you made in the author's notes make a lot of sense. As good as your previous rewrite was (and it was great), this is even better. Yeah, Starlight trying to create duplicates of herself to handle all five friendship assignments at once, well, that makes the "not mad, just disappointed" reaction make more sense, especially since Twilight admitted that most of the times that she tried to solve a problem with magic only made the situation worse and didn't want Starlight going through the same thing.
Anyway, very certainly looking forward to more of this.
11155290 Definitely the latter.
Quick question. Are you planning on doing a what if series on Equestria Girls?
11155347 I haven't officially decided one way or the other.
11155364
Hey buddy can you put the CMC in To Where and Back Again to rescue his sister and scenes with The Mane 6, Spike, the Royal Sisters and the Royal Family beign capture and cooconed by the Changelings onscreen
Again, thanks for sharing this latest chapter with us. Definitely appreciate the effort. Also understand the reasoning behind re-doing the previous re-write that you mentioned in the author's notes. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up are rather well-done in all the right places. And, yeah, I can understand the reason for altering this to include Rarity when SHE was a filly. And, yeah, in a way, it DOES come off looking like a better version of "Honest Apple" since it would make more sense for that to be when they were fillies and also avoids looking like too much of a rehash of the aforementioned story.
Anyway, very much looking forward to more of this.
And, if this comes in multi-posted, I profusely apologize. I had a fair bit of difficulty getting this through.
Once more, a really good job on this rewrite. I definitely appreciate the effort that went into the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. And, again, you made very good points in the author's notes. Definitely understood the logic of having Twilight and Flurry be the only princesses who were kidnapped (as well as showing how Twilight got captured in the first place), with the others simply kept busy, as was Sunburst accompanying Starlight on that trip instead of Trixie. And, yeah, having Spike and Sunburst as part of the rescue party in addition to the canon Starlight, Trixie, Thorax and Discord makes a lot of sense in addition to keeping the series "six theme" intact.
And, on to the next chapter.
Again, this was a really well done chapter with great exchanges, characterizations, action and general wrap-up. And, yeah, the points you made in the author's notes continue to be on point. Definitely appreciated the subtle alterations to many of the scenes (particularly Spike helping Starlight and Thorax maintain order in the rescue party), such as providing a distraction as a reason Chrysalis got away.
VERY much looking forward to more of this.
Lol! Futurama reference! Good one hahaha! 🤣😂😂
"He insulted our fat queen!"
Glad you included Spike as a part of this little rescue mission, I thought it was a missed opportunity that Spike wasn't included, he would have been the perfect voice of reason for Starlight AND served as a mediator between Trixie & Discord, not to mention Spike would have served as a bridge between every character since he knew them all and has interacted with everyone prior to Chrysalis's takeover. Not to mention it would have bolstered his hero status, since aside from protecting the Crystal Heart from King Sombra & saving the Equestria Games, he really doesn't get to do a whole lot on the grander scale. One criticism though, I would have still have had the Mane 6 kidnapped, BUT keep the subplot of Chrysalis attacking the Crystal Empire & foalnapping Flurry Heart, plus Chrysalis has a higher chance at winning simply by removing the Mane 6 from the picture, not to mention; you could have included another reformed character to this ragtag team, that being Gilda, she would have been the most aggressive and strongest member of the group, she would have easily joined them to save Rainbow Dash... just to rub it in Rainbow Dash's face.
Regardless I'm loving where this What If 2-parter is going.
Buddy i say to put the CMC in To Where and Back Again to rescue his sister and scenes with The Mane 6, Spike, the Royal Sisters and the Royal Family beign capture and cooconed by the Changelings onscreen, but thank you of adding Spike
11162529 I didn't want to add all of the mane six since them all being captured feels unnecessary for the sake of the plot, only Twilight (and to an extent Fluttershy in Discord's case) carry any real weight in the narrative. Otherwise, I would've considered adding the CMC (though they got their chance to shine in my rewrite of "School Raze").
11162546
okay
Great job on getting the next chapter/episode/second-to-last for this volume up. I really appreciate the effort that went into the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up in all the right places. And especially thanks for liking one of my ideas enough to do something based on it. Plus, as usual, you made great points in the author's notes. Anyway, very good work on Celestia giving helpful pointers to the students and Fluttershy (the latter ESPECIALLY after Discord temporarily gave her Celestia's powers) and also on Discord disguising himself as Luna to try to make up for his mistake. Plus, actually having a volunteer try to stall for time on their own accord makes much more sense than forcing Spike to do it.
VERY much looking forward to the next/last episode for this volume.
VERY good job on the final chapter of this volume. Definitely appreciate the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and possible set-up for if you do decide to do one more volume. Appreciate Trixie giving Starlight the idea of recruiting her own teaching staff as that DOES make a good B-story for the rewrite. And the bit with Spoiled and Grogar makes sense given your earlier rewrite of "Growing Up Is Hard To Do". Yeah, I can see Trixie wanting to satisfy her curiosity as to which one really is the best out of her and Twilight. But it is JUST AS understandable that Twilight would be holding back considerably, much like any super-hero worth their salt fighting a non-super-powered criminal. After all, "mere mortal against virtual demigod" battles rarely go as well for the mortal as Lex Luthor would want you to believe.
Possible dialogue ideas for "Frenemies" and "The Summer Sun Setback" should you decide to eventually do rewrites of them.
For "Frenemies":
1. Sombra: Perhaps while we're trying to come up with a workable plan, we could properly get to know one another.
Storm King: You mean like trust each other with our backstories? No disrespect, but I prefer MY past to be multiple choice.
(with Sombra and Chrysalis sharing modified versions of their backstories from the "Fiendship is Magic" comic book series while working on their plan to get past the security for the bell).
and 2. Sombra: Perhaps Storm King and I can combine our energies to blast a small hole through the field so Chrysalis can shape-shift into something small enough to get through said small hole.
********************************************************
For "the Summer Sun Setback":
1. Grogar: All of you work on your teamwork here while I try to gather some more recruits and find an alternate power source (silently thinking "I know you have my bell stashed nearby, but I want you to think I don't so that you will be overconfident at the right time.")
2. Gladmane (to Grogar): Look, I appreciate the invite, but, well, there's a huge difference between bilking tourists in Las Pegasus and being a potential party to mass murder and high treason. And I'm not stupid enough to try to pull something that would more than likely land me in Tartarus - or worse.
and 3. Twilight: On the positive side, you managed to do a good job getting the chaos under control for the time being and the final Summer Sun Celebration/first "Festival of the Two Sisters" ended up going well after all. On the negative side, we now know that Chrysalis, Sombra and the Storm King are all working together and managed to steal a potentially dangerous book despite the improvements to our security.
***********************************
But I can respect if you don't like the ideas.
But, anyway, certainly looking forward to more of your work in general.
Spike and Sunburst being added does indeed make this better. I commend you on this addition.
Wow Starlight that’s just cold. What did Sunburst do wrong?
You're right, they don't stand a chance against you at all. Here's an idea, instead of doing all these stupid challenges, why don't you just confront them straight up and attack them yourself. You took down three trained guards with ease, you supposedly captured Celestia, but you're telling me that you can’t take on 6 normal ponies? That’s bullcrap.
And here's another idea, instead of messing with them, how about you fly straight to the castle and steal the elements. That was the first thing Discord did when he came back, so why can't you do the same? Nothing is stopping you from getting into the castle at all and yet you waste your time with all this stupid mess.
The real truth behind all this is that Luna was never possess by some being called the nightmare, that thing never existed. Nightmare Moon was just Luna and Luna alone, who changed her appearance and here's proof that she can do it at any time.
Why else was Nightmare doing all these stupid trials when she could have easily won in two different ways, why were each challenge just happened to be solved by Twilight’s friends?
Because it was all one big scam, a lie. Luna must have come back from the moon much sooner and after reuniting with her sister, she aided Celestia in her plans to restore the elements. Celestia already knew who the other five elements were, so with their help along with the rest a ponyville. Set things up so Twilight can restore the elements. Why else was the summer sun celebration taking place in Ponyville when it had always been done in Canterlot? Celestia needed a reason to send Twilight there and meet the other elements.
The story of the two royal sisters was altered to fool Twilight, heck why did she even believe it in the first place. The only story about Nightmare Moon was the Nightmare Night story, and that didn't mention anything about her being royalty or having a sister.
All this would explain why Nightmare Moon did those challenges. It was all so the girls would each teach Twilight about the five elements of friendship, so in the end she would get the spark and bring back the elements. All this was nothing more than a ploy set up by everyone and they kept it secret from her because they know Twilight would not be happy about it.
I’m sorry Twilight but Celestia has been manipulating you your whole life.
11155290 Funnily enough, I did see one fanfic released not long after this episode originally aired where the original three (Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity) had to babysit the Cake Twins as punishment.