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The Search for Detective jakkid1661,143 words
A Flight to remember2,078 words
The Coldest Land and the Landest Cold2,751 words
Cabin in the Not woods2,116 words
The Village of the Town of the City2,307 words

The Village of the Town of the City

“...And thats the story of everything tha thas happen to us in the past week,” said the elder pony.

“Woah that was a interesting and thrilling story of despair and mystery,” said me as i lay back and file my nails. “i Forgot to take notes of it for when I write about this later though, so tell it all to me again.”

“Well you see,” said the elder pony whos name is actually Hoof Hooferton, “It all started a few days ago…”

~ to simulate flashback transition, please look at a plain white picture and then back to the story ~

“Ahhh,” said Hoof hooferton as he laid back in his bath tub of steaming hots water on a cold night. But this cold night was especially cold and night, and he was not satisfy with the warmness of the waters. BUT, because the water was already almost to burning temperatures, he had to think a solution…

“Aha I have a idea,” he said and he remember the fact: if you only change the water temprature a couple degrees, you will not notice. So he change the water temperature up by 2 degrees and couldnt tell the diference. And then he did it again. And he did it again. and a bunch more times and more agains until finally the water was the temprature of lava, but he didnt notice so it was fine.

“Ahhh,” he said but he noticed a something. he look at the bathtub water as slowly it overcame it self with a color other than nothing… a color of RED!

“AGGH” said him and he jumped outta the tub but it was too late, his fur is now dyed red from redness which sucks for him cause his cutie mark normally has the red and blue 3D glassess effect but the red now blends in so his cutie mark now looks boring and 2D like everyone elses.

Hoof ran out the door into the street and only got ran over by 3 horse carriages so he was stil able to witness everyone comin outta their houses and freaking the heck out!

“Whats going on?? My fire is BLUE!” said the blacksmith pony.

“My WATER is RED!” said the watersmith pony.

“My bank account has $0 dollars in it!” said another pony. “I promise that is not normal, can someone please fix that for me?”

“How could this be happening?” said Hoof. “Is Jesus visiting again?”

But then an evil looking pony came up to Hoof and gave him a note and then puncheded him in the face so he would forget what the evil pony looked like and left.

Hoof opened the note and looked at it and read it and eyed th words and the note said:

GIVE US WHAT WE WANT OR ELSE ALL YOU WATER WILL REMAIN BLOOD FOREVER

THIS IS A RANSOM NOTE BTW IF YOU CANT TELL

~ ok do the same thing to transition back to the present ~

“And that is the story of how our water became all red and freaked all the towns shit out of them,” said Hoof. “We been trying to think a name for it. Maybe ‘The Red Scare’.”

“That is probably not a good idea.” said me. “But also, what the hell of the hell? A ransom note? Dang heck thats a crap right there. Did you give em what they want?”

“Nope,” said Hooof. “dont get me wrong we wanted to. But I think they forgot to actually write what they want on the note. We would ask them for help with this but I do not think they have customer service department.”

“hmmmm,” said me. “have your village been colonized by any nations recently?"

"Not since last month, but since you talk abot nations and stuff, I did notece the note was wrriten in an italian accent."

"hmm...... HMMM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMM. do you have the note?"

"Oh sure lemme fax it to you." said Hoof and he put the note in his fax mashine. "Whats your fax number?"

"Uhhhh I forget. try 4."

"4?"

"yeah. 1 was taken by the father, 2 by the son, 3 by the holy spirit. i dont know how they got ahead of me in line."

Hooferton sent the fax and I pickeded it up on the "Fax Machine" function in my Detective Gun. i shot the message copy out into my face and grabed it off my face and read it.

"Wait a minute," said me, "this is writen on the back of a business card! This has the number for their customer service department!"

"Oh." said Hoof. "Huh."

"Dick Americas," said me, "can I use your phone? i am low on my Cricket prepaid phone minutes."

"Huh what" said Dick while he stopped doing his crossword. "Oh sure" and he gave the phoen to me and I dialified the number.

"Ransom Incorporated. They handsome? We ransom! How may I help you todey?"

"Uhh, I need to ask-"

"If you wish to arrange a kidnapping, press 1."

"Ugh" i said. "it is one of tha automated phone systems!"

"OH i know the trick for those!" said Applejack. "you press the 0 key!"

"Oh cool thanks." said me and I press that.

"You have selected the 'Kill All Hostages' option. Do you wish to give them a last meal?"

"WHAT NO!" i shouted into the phone. "DONT DO THAT"

"Understod. Hostages will be killed without a last meal. Do you hav further requests?"

"AGENT!" I shout into the phone. "REAL PERSON. let me talk to REAL PERSON!"

"Understood. The CEO, Real Person, wil be with you shortly."

"ugh finally!" I say as the serene waiting music came on.

"Aw yea I love this song!" said Twilight. "Fuck the police comin straight from the underground"

Finally a person answer the line of the phone. "Hello how the hell did you gets this number and who are you even what the hell are you calling me for what the fuck is a phone?"

"i can answer 3 of those questions," said me. "But first i will be the only one asking questions here. So mr. Real Person, you thot you could kidnap the transparency out of the water, HUH?"

"what" said Person. "What is dis about?"

"We got this ransom note writen on your company's business card. I know you been committing the motherfuckery!"

"Ok mr. Whoever you are, listen here. our company puts out LOTS of ransom notes. we are third party ransom organization that kidnappers and blackmailers use for our swift and eficient service. It sound like you note is from onea our clients."

"DAMMIT!" i said. "ok Mr. Person. or can I call you Real? We need to figure out which your clients made the water red and the fire blue and the pony's bank account have 0 dollars in it!"

"NONSENSE!" said Person. "we do not give out our clients blackmail information! what if it gets used for blackmail?"

"AHA," said me, "but i have blackmail on you too!"

"what"

"I know that you ar blackmailing people, and that is crime! And I also know yor name, which is not a crime, but is weird! And I will tell everyone in your company that your name is weeird and they will make fun of you!"

"oh no!"

"and then also I will arrest you for blackmail. The blackmail im doing right now doesnt count though."

"Okay okay fine! The ones who did the blackmails to your town was a client the name of The Mario Party!"

"And WHAT do they want?"

"...did they not write that on the note?"

"No i think they forgot."

"oh wow. no wonder you called customer services. Okay fine ill tell you. THey want the artifact known as... the Orb of Sphere!"

"OH NO!" I schmouted. "Not the ORB of SPHERE?! that is HORRIBLE! what is that"

"I dont know. are you done talking now? i need to go kill the hostages you said to kill earlier."

"WAIT! i retract that request!"

"Are you sure? we have two for one deal right now!"

"YES im sure! just let them go free into their natural habitat!"

"Okay alright fine. But dont call here anymor, my wife will think im cheating on her."

and he hung the phone up the phone.

"UGH!" i bleurghed out as i sits back down. "How did I get roped into this, other than all the events that leaded up to this?"

"What did you learn jakkid?" said Dick, in andickipation.

"Some dumb things about some people called the Mario Party. whoever they is, they want some thingy called the Orb of Sphere. look can I just go home? You can live by drinking red water probably."

"Wait the ORB OF SPHERE?" said Hooferton. "Why would they want that?!."

BUT before I could respond a response, the ground SHOOKED. "Woah who farted?" said me.

"Wait jakkid thats not a fart!" said Dick pointin out the window. "Thats a bunch of evil mysterious ponies ariving outside!"

"GASP." said me. "Alright lets see waht the hell is going on."

Dick and me and Twilight and Applejack and Hooferton went out the door to meet the group of more than 2 but less than 4 ponies that was now gathers outside in the air of the night. One was dress in red, one in green, and the one in the middle in Yellow.

"Aha," said the Leader Pony dressed in Yellow who step forward, chomping on a piece of garlic. "I see you felt our fart!"

"Yea and I see it too" said me. "Im judgin from my detectively deductions from my eyes that you all must be... the MARIO PARTY!"

"How very smart of you Mr. jakkid166," said the Yellow Pony as he peeled his garlic and took a bite. "These ar my associates, Marinara and Linguini. And I am the leader... Warlic."

"Warlic?" said Dick.

"We couldnt think of any italian foods that start with W," said Warlic. "BUT THAT NOT THE POINT! A little birdy told me you showed you detective butt in this town today, jakkid!"

"Actually I told you that." said the red pony.

"Yea well the bird or pony is right!" said me while I crossed my arms in indiggance. "Now un-red the pony water and whatever else you did!"

"Sure thing bro," said Warlic. "But youll need to give us what we want first... and to give us what we want, youl have to FIGURE OUT what we want! Good lucks with that! AHAHAHAHA!"

"What, the Orb of Sphere?" said Twilight.

"YES, the- wait WHAT the FUCK?" said Garlic as he cough up his warlic. "how the freaking fricklefrack did you know that?!"

"Well it wasnt on the ransom note so I just calld the customer service department," said me.

"WHAT?! You cant just call suport on us! That affects our reputation and makes the websites algorithms less favorble to us!"

"Wait wait wait!" said Hoof. "Are you sayin you didnt WANT us to figure out what you wanted?"

"YES that was the whole point!" said Warlic and he stomped his angers into the dirt.

"But then how were we supposed to give it to you?"

"Oh. uh...... Shit." Warlic stood there tryin to think of a thing to say. "Well you see thats um. Uh."

"Hooferton what even is the orb of sphere?!" said me turnign to him. "Why is it so COVERTED?"

"Well..." said Hooferton. "Its not."

"Oh that makes sense," said me. "Wait NO IT DOESNT! What the hell?!"

"Youre right it doesn't," said Hoof. "The orb of sphere isent even valuable! We sell them for like 10 bits each at the gift shop. What is with you idiots! If you were too poor to just buy one you cold just say so! Ill go grab one right now!"

"No, thats not-" Warlic lookd around trying to remember what words are. "Guys think of something!"

"Mama mia I think we screwed up," said Marinara.

"Tran Station's gonna be pissed at us now," said Linguini.

"GOD DAMMIT!" said Warlic. "Ok look guys, we dont actually want the Orb of Sphere. We just couldnt leave that field blank when we was submitting the ransom form. We were suposed to stop you from figuring out what we wanted so you wold be distracted and be too busy protectin THAT while we take the thing we actually want."

"Okay." said me. "so what is that."

"We want... the BLOCK OF CUBE!"

"WHAT" said Elder Hoof. "no! it Cannot Be! The Block of Cube have such deep power it can do ANYTHING! like EXPLODE, because its a bomb!"

"Heh heh yes indeedy," said Warlic. "so PLAN B which is sort of also plan A kind of! Give us the cube or you water will be red forever and it will never be whatever color water is normaly!"

"Hm I do not know" said Hoof. "Maybe we can just get use to drinking red water."

"OH NO MY LEVRAGE!" said Warlic. "Linguini go kidnap the Elders daughter."

"Got it" said Linguini and he ran off and came back with Hoof's daughter tied up.

"OH NOOOOOOO!" said Hoof. "ok fine you can have the thing!"

"But Hoof!" I say in despration. "Think of the damage the bomb can does! Think of the greater good! You canot let this Italian Battalion faze you!"

"But shes my daughter!" said Hoof.

"but the GREATER GOOD!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND MOVE?" said Warlic and he shove us forward to lead him to the Block of Cube.

"FINE!" said me and we started walkin but I wasnt happy about it. "stupid stupid dumb dumb stupid dumb"

"Well this is a shit," said Twilight. "What hell do we do now?"

"Dont worry," said me. "i have a plan..."

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