The Search for Detective jakkid166

by jakkid166

Cabin in the Not woods

"Shartner", said Appeljack. "This sucks a cowpie."

The 5 of us sat in the cabin living room of the snowed in cabin. It was dark cause the sunlight was too afraid to go thru the cold snow and melt it and drown in the water, and 6 of th 7 fireplaces was also fill with snow so they didnt work, and so we all crowded arond the 1 fireplace to keep warms and see the light so we dont acidentally trip on one of us and drop our gun and it fire and kill everyone in one piercing shot on accident. It was like the Hateful Eightful, except there was only 5 of us and we are not hateful, so it was the Coolful Five.

"I know right," said Tran. "Wher could that missile possibly have comes from? I have no idea at all so dont ask me cause I already ask you first."

"I am tryin to figure that out," said me at the computer all buntled up in my detective blanket. "But no mater how many times I type 'why did missile go to my house' into google, the only idea it have is 'did you remember to renew your Comcast subscription'."

"I guess they might be a suspect," say Dick. "But we need More evidences to be sure. Maybe we check the blast site for fingerprints. If we werent stuck inside I mean."

"Sigh," I say as I breathed air out of my mouth kind of like a sigh. "This is NOT how I wanted my day to go! I specifically write in my plans for today that if a missile comes at me it should be BLUE not RED."

"Wait jakkid" said Twilight. "Look that notification on your puter!"

"Huh?" say me and I looked at my 7th monitor (the 47 inch ultra dultra wide 9K one.) "Oh dang a new email. I havent got one of those since like 15 seconds ago!"

"Whats it say jakkid?"

"An eye for an eye..." said me. "Thats all it says."

"What does THAT mean?" said twilight.

"Probably one of those glass eye seller stores," said me. "I will just delet- WAIT A MINUTE" and I look at the Sender Address. "[e-mail]?" and we all looked at Tran Station.

"Huh" said Tran. "Must be someone who have the same name as me just as coincidence."

"That make sense..." said me, but then I heard a beeps. "What who fuck?" and I run to the wall and open the DETECTIVE RADAR.

"Whats goin on jakkid?!" said Dick.

"Oh hells!" sayed me. "Theres a bunch of somethings headed RIGHT for us from the skies!"

"More missiles?!" said Twilight.

"Maybe I dont know," say me. "I cold only afford the Walmart store brand radar. But point be we gotta get OUTTA HERE!" and so we all FRANTICALLY run around the cabin to find a ways to get outta here through the snow.

Dick grabbed a hair dryer from the bathroom to try and melt the snow but he had to drink the melted snow to stop it from flooding the cabin and he was gettin too full.

Applejack tryed to lasso the snow but it was TOO packed tight and hard and so the lasso bounced off and she acidentally lassoed herself and fall into the sink garbage disposal and I had to get her out before she got appleJacked Up.

Twilight tried to use her horn like Ice Pick to mine the ice but she only made beautiful ice sculpture of me on accident instead.

Tran Station challenged the snow to a staring contest and won but the snow was a bad sport and didnt melt.

MEANWHILE I ran to the Cabin Control Panel and open it and SLAMMED a button but not too hard that it wold break and blow up all of us. the cabin started RUMBING and making mechaninoises like BRR and WHRRR and BRRRMP.

"WOAH" said everone as the cabin shake. "Jakkid whats goin on?!"

"I dident want to do this for fear of breaking it, but we are in the deeper shit!" I said as a steering wheel rosed up from the floor. 4 wheels popped out from underr the cabin, seatbelts appeared on all the chairs, and rear view mirrors poppd out next to all the windows.

"Behold... my newest ivention, the Detective Cabinmobile!" I say and i CRANKED the gear into drive! "Get buckeled in guys!"

Everone RAN to the couch and buckle in, except for Applejack who buckld into the toilet just in case. "Brace youselves, I must giving this FULL POWER!" and i JAMMED the gas pedal HARD trying to get the Cabinmobile out of the snow, but it was not budgering! "Twilight, the cabin hungers! Give it a sacrifice"

"Got it!" said Twilight and she grabbed Applejack and went to throw her in the fireplace.

"NO not that! Use the coal!"

"oh okay." said her and she dropped Applejack and grabbed a bags of coals and shoved it into the fireplace for extra more power.

I revved the engine HARD and SPUN the wheels and put it into 5th GEAR and opened the DOOR and got on the FLOOR and everybody walked the DINOSAUR.

"Hurry up jakkid the missels are close!" said Twilight while they closes in on us ever so fastly.

Suddenly "Wait I know what to do." I said. I grab the winch (the one on the inside of the cabin) and tied it to another part of the inside of the cabin and got back in my seat and said "LETS GOOOOOO!" and I JAMMED the pedal one LAST TIME and the cabin PULLED itself outta the snow and got outa the way just in time for the missles to MISS and hit the ground behind us!

But, but ,but, the shock wave from the missils was too much, and it caused the snow under us to avalanche, and the cabin started sliding down on the sliding avalance snow whee wee wee all the way down the mountain!

"Oh sharters I cant stop it!" said me.

"Woah jakkid watch out youre gonna hit that TREE!" said Dick.

"Shit" I say. "Wait. before I steer around the tree I must decide. do I go left or right?"

"Oh good question," said Dick. "Detective principles do state it is good to weigh the pros and cons of all your options."

"This is trues," said Twilight. "If we are to go left, we go off the cliff. But if we are go right, we go into th path with the sign that says "END OF SKI PATH: DO NOT ENTER: YOU CAN DIE AND ALSO MAYBE EVEN GET HURT"."

"Hmm," said me. "the way you said the left one sounds less scary and intensifyed. But the right one sounds enticing cause of the forboding sign.... dammit, i cannot decide!" I said as the crushing weight pressures of Detective Decisions wash over my head.

"Hurry up jartner we are almost at the tree!" said Applejack.

"Yeah jakkid make decision!" said Twilight.

"Deal or No Deal!" said Dick

i clutchd my head. "NOOOO!" I shouted and I got outta my seat. "This too much for me! Which one of you is qualify to drive a Cabinmobile?"

Everyone looked at eachother. Tran Station raised his hoof. "I rode a bike once."

"Good enough! You drive" and I grabbe him and shoved him in the driver seat.

"Oh shit" said Tran Station and his Admiral Instincts kicked in! He TWISTED the wheel to the right like it was twister. The cabin VEER around the tree right into the danger zone! The danger snowne

"Look out tran we gonna hit that fire hydrant!" said Twilight and Tran steered to the RIGHT around it.

"Woahly shit look out we're gonna hit that pool of lava!" said Dick and Tran hit a rampjump and JUMP over the pool!

"Excuse me partner I do not wish to bother you but I think we will hit that Nuclear Reactor," said Applejack and Tran steer to the right to get around it and I peek out the window for a second to mark th nuclear gauge on my clipboard for this years weekly inspection.

"Nice job tran!" I say and we all clap for Tran Station and he feelt genuine accomplisment and appreciation for his bravery. But then all of asudden we started floating as all feel still and notspeedy.

"Woah what to hell?" said me as I became into the air. "We didnt steer into space did we? That would suck I never told anyone about this but I am afraid of goin to space. What if I forget its not really night time and I fall asleep on acident and float into the sun?"

Twilight airwalked to the window and look outside. "Oh no nothin like that," said her. "We just went off a cliff and are falling to our deaths."

"Oh phew," we said in relieves.

"OH NOOOO WE GONNA DIE!" screamed Dick in terrors. "wait. shouldnt this be the othe way around"

"Oh good point." said the alive ones of us. "OHHHH SHIT CRAP HELL DAMN PISS SWEAR WORDS"

And the cabin SMASHED into the ground and the wheels POPPED off and spin off into the distance while all of us who were floating SLAMMED back into the floor (except Dick). The inside of the cabin was ravage, the furniture was broken and the pictures came off the but the 97 inch flat screen TV was ok because I got a good quality wall mount for it.

"uggggh" said Twilight getting up. "Dammit Tran?! You almost kill us!"

"Yeah partner!" said Applejack who was saved herself by tying herself the ceiling before we hit the ground. "Yeah partner! Why you take so many right turns?!"

"They have good points," say Dick. "It was not a good idea for you to take so many rights."

"Hey now," said me collecting my detective composure and also one of my detective teeth. "I for one support Tran's rights! It was beter than not turning and then crashing. It was stressful situations." and I walked over to the window and peers outside.

"You are right jakkid," say Dick. "I apologize Tran Station. I am glad we are all alive except for me."

"Wait guys!" said me and I beckonify them over to the window. "Get over heres check this really cool thing out!"

"Huh what is it?" said Twilgiht. Applejack untied herself and smacked into the floor and they all came and look out the window with me, but then they stuck their HOOFS (and hands) UP!

Outside the window... was a buncha ponies pointing GUNS at us!

"See?" I said in awe and wonders. "Isnt that cool? They dont even have fingers but they can still look at me dead in the eyes and slowly begin to pull the trigger."

"Craps!" said Tran. "Why are they doing that?!"

"Yeah partner!" said Apple. "Twilights not even wanted in this state!"

"Well..." said Twilight.

"Hmm," said me. "Well, probably we should surrender so we dont get fill with lead, since that would make it real hard to go through airport security in the future."

We all nod and agree and we slowly walk out the front door to the gunny pony mob. "Ponies!" said me. "Why do you point guns at us like some kinda weirdo who points guns at peopel? We come in peace, and only maybe war if you feel like it."

"HES SAYING WORDS! SHOOT HIM" shouted a pony.

"wait! HOLD your FIRE!" shout a pony from the crowd. An olderly pony with a mustache and an oldness pushed out from the to the front of the crowd and take a good look at us. "Why its none other than Detective jakkid166 the Greatest Detective in the World!"

"You know me?" said me.

"Yeah we have internet here." said the old pony. "Jakkid you and your friends gotta help us! A great terror has overcome our village!"

"Oh." I sighed in tired language. "I supose I can help."

"HES GONNA HELP US! SHOOT HIM" shouted the pony again.

"Dont worry about him he just had a 5 hour energy." said the old pony. "Just please come along with us quietly so nobody gets too spooked."

I look at the otherses. "You guys all good?"

"Sounds good to me," said Dick and the others nods.

"Alright," said me. "I will comes along quietly."

"HES COMING ALONG QUIETLY! SHOOT HIM" said the pony again but someone took his gun away and told him to go home.

Meanwhile, while no one was looking, Tran made a phone call...