• Member Since 9th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Nailah


Pineapple Love. Beloved Mare. Follow me on Discord: Godfrog#4197 Support me on: My patreon https://ko-fi.com/nailah

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Dancing Star was a normal unicorn mare, or at least that's what her parents wanted. But Dancing was so much more than just another unicorn mare, she was beautiful

CW: Transgender pony
If this offends you please don't read. I have written this in a way that is respectful, powerfully envoking, and will capture the hearts of the readers. Dancing Star is my OC, though the image for the cover was borrowed, I will put a link below to where you can find it.

Prereaders: applezombi, Holtinater, Stinium_Ruide, Nano Discussions.

Editor: SunlightRays

Picture link:Picture

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

That cover image

Lovely and we'll written story , Nailah.

But then again I wouldn't expect less.

10555301
What about it? I tagged the source where I found it.

10555302
well*
thanks hun <3

10555305
Keep up the fabulous work, was a great read to end my night on.

This is a good story! It shows the mindset and feelings of someone that is being pulled apart by their own desires and the expectations of others and the sadness and torment that wanting to be yourself causes.

I hope you write a sequel to this. I hope she finds her way to be who they want to be.

Another brilliant piece Nailah! I think you did very well with diving into a character like this, it came off as very understanding and respectful. Keep up the good work!

Erm, this feels utterly incomplete. This feels like the prologue of a much longer and more profound story. My wife and I have two good friends who are trans, one of each type. It was difficult for me to understsnd and comprehend the issue.

Anyway, I feel like this is far, FAR from complete. I would encourage you to keep writing about this character.

Dancing Star is my OC, though the image for the cover was borrowed, I will put a link below to where you can find it.

What do you mean by Borrowed ?

p.s. If you this ?
Pony Creator Full
pony Creator V3
jwebgen
Pony Town
Pony Maker
3D

10555454
I have to kind of agree here. I love trans stories, but this one feels under-done as it is. I had a hard time that you were writing a trans stallion until the last paragraph. At the start, I'm getting the unclear impression of what could be read as either self-esteem issues, revulsion at usual gender props for other reasons, or some kind of gender dysphoria. But I wasn't sure if Dancing Star was a trans stallion, enby, or a trans mare dissatisfied with her transition. I ruled out the last one as the story went on, but towards the middle, Dancing was coming across as non-binary.

I liked this, but it does feel more like a start than a story as it stands. Please keep writing in the future, because you at least handle trans subjects with care. That's more than a lot of the site does.

You should also work on your paragraph spacing. That's the only thing that really needed critical work here.

10555484 Oh, hi Ice Star! I left you a comment on one of your stories earlier. Good to see you here and thanks for helping me encourage this author to expand on what may become a very good character and a generally very poorly understood topic.

10555498
Hello! Thank you for your awesome comment. It may come as a surprise, but I, the author if Discord Pokes Fluttershy's Tits usually write serious stuff.

Trans stories are just hella fine. I am required by law to read 'em/

10555517 Required by law? :rainbowhuh:

Oooooookay.

10555524
I jest, though as an admin for the trans/LGBT groups I try and help out. Sadly, these stories get downvote bombed a lot and that's poor feedback for authors who just wanna grow and write the trans horses.

I, too, just want to see some more trans horses. Getting to see trans horse headcanons that may be different from mine is always neato. Dancing Star does seem very interesting too. Trans stallions aren't given as much attention in the MLP fandom.

10555529 Ah, I get it. I did not know you were an admin. Neat.

10555541
Hell yeah, gamer.

A very lovely short story that I am more than happy to to add to my list of favorites and give an upvote!

I can only hope that there is more to come.

That definitely struck a chord in terms of dysphoria. Dysphoria's a hard thing to convey, but this did quite the good job of it.

This is amazing! Hoping for a sequel or continuation one day.

11902236
Thank you for your comment! But, I am retired from writing ✍️

11902265
Understandable! You're very welcome as well ^^

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