Crushing

by Boltstrike58

Heartbreak

Princess Twilight Sparkle was in a place that most who knew her would expect her to be: At her desk in the Castle of Friendship, hard at work. She had a single quill levitated in her magical grip, scribbling away at a page. What would've surprised others, however, was the fact that she was writing in a blank journal. Additionally, she was going through a pattern, writing down a couple of lines, then waiting a few seconds, until new words appeared out of nowhere beneath them, accompanied by the book vibrating. Twilight would then write her response.

Looking closer at her, an observer could see that Twilight's expression was a troubled one, one filled with uncertainty. Her ears were flattened against her head, and her face bore no content smile. Her eyes seemed to have lost some of their luster, as well. She studied the conversation contained within the journal's pages, before sighing to herself. She dipped the quill into the ink once again, pressing the tip against the page.

Are you sure this is a good idea? she wrote. I don't want to hurt him.

Her words had barely started to dry on the page before the book buzzed again, and the response appeared.

It's better that you get it over with now, rather than drag it out. If you just leave it alone like this, it's gonna drive him crazy.

Twilight sighed again, slumping in her chair. She didn't want to admit it, of course, but there was some logic in those words. Sure, going through with this would be less cruel than just pushing him off to the side and forgetting about him, but that didn't mean she had to like it. She wished there were some third option, one that ended without her inflicting any pain. However, Twilight knew nopony got what they wanted in life just because they wanted it. Besides, if she really cared about him as much as she claimed, she had to do the right thing.

Her horn ignited with its magenta aura again, and the book's cover lifted up, closing it with a small thump. Levitating the whole journal off the desk, Twilight spread her wings, flying out of the chair and settling down on the crystal floor. She trotted out of her work room, making her way to the main library, where she kept a special mirror, covered with mechanical parts. Twilight maneuvered the journal into a specific slot just above the surface of the mirror, then pressed a switch, causing the machine to spark into life. With a flash of magic, the mirror's surface suddenly rippled like a pool of water, before settling back to normal. Twilight then levitated over a pair of saddlebags with her Cutie Mark on them, placing them over her back.

Twilight took a couple of deep breaths, steeling herself for what was to come. She didn't like what she was about to do, but it had to be done either way. Finally, her hooves began moving, propelling her forward and straight through the surface of the mirror portal.

---

The blinding whirlpool of lights always disoriented her. Not to mention the bodily distortions. Twilight briefly wondered how she'd gone through many times without vomiting in between dimensions. Eventually, the insane trip ended, there was a blinding flash of white light, and Twilight found herself plummeting forward, the concrete of the sidewalk filling her vision. Previous trips had made her accustomed to this, however, and she manged to thrust her hands forward, stopping her fall and leaving her propped up on her arms.

A pair of hands, one orange and one lavender, entered her view, offering to help her up.

"Glad to see you made it okay," said Sunset, helping Twilight up,."I still think we should put some sort of safety system in that thing."

"I'll consider it, Sunset," replied Twilight with a warm smile. She turned to the other one who'd pulled her to her feet. "Hi, uh...me."

Her spectacled human counterpart smiled awkwardly back at her. The two hadn't spent a great deal of time together, and as a result, they weren't exactly comfortable around each other. There was no animosity, but it still felt strange.

"Don't worry, it's still weird for me, too," reassured H-Twilight. "Some people still mistake me for you."

"Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry!" Twilight insisted. "Maybe if they saw us together..."

H-Twilight waved it off. "It's fine, it happens less and less every day. Besides, I think you have something more important to deal with."

Twilight guessed there might be more to it than that, but merely nodded, realizing it was something to be dealt with another day. She turned to Sunset Shimmer. "Okay, give it to me straight. How bad has he gotten?"

Sunset bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable with this subject, but she spoke anyway. "He's been...distracted lately. I see him staring off into the distance way more than he used too, and it takes a lot to snap him out of it. Plus, anytime you're the subject of a conversation, he finds an excuse to leave the room."

Twilight winced. That wasn't a good sign.

Her doppelganger continued. "He hasn't been creepy or anything, and he's never approached me, but I catch him staring at me quite a bit. He knows I'm not you, but still..."

Twilight pressed her palm against her forehead. All things considered, it didn't sound as bad as it could be, but she still didn't like it. She realized she'd been putting this trip off for too long.

"Do either of you know where he is?" she asked, gripping the straps on her backpack that had once been saddlebags.

"He usually goes out through the south exit," said Sunset, helpfully pointing in the direction Twilight guessed was south. "Do you want me to be there? I don't know how he'll react, but maybe I can talk him down if—"

The princess shook her head. "I don't want him to think we're ganging up on him, it'd just make him feel worse. I'll do it by myself."

Sunset and H-Twilight looked a little unsure, but they acquiesced, standing aside and letting Twilight make her way across campus. Within two minutes, she'd made it to the south entrance, where students, finished with their day of education, were beginning to pour out, heading away to take care of whatever business they wanted to. A few noticed Twilight, and gave friendly waves, to which she responded in kind. She made no move towards the school, waiting for one specific person.

As it turned out, she didn't have to wait long. Among the crowd of students, she noticed a flash of spiky blue hair poking out. Flash Sentry was walking by himself, eyes looking straight forward, not focused on anything in particular. Twilight took another deep breath, reminding herself that this was the point of no return. Her last chance to back out.

She stepped forward, raised her hand, and called out his name.

"Flash! Over here, Flash!"

The teenager blinked in surprise at first, eyes darting around, searching for the source of the sound. Eventually, his eyes settled on Twilight, and his expression lit up a little, eyes filling with surprise. He approached her, his mouth dropping open, as though he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"Twilight? That is, Princess Twilight?" he asked. "Is it really you?"

She nodded. "Hi, Flash. It's...good to see you."

The boy stared for another few seconds, before his face spread into a rather wide smile. He suddenly stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Twilight's shoulders and pulling her against him. She was caught off-guard for a second, but she soon returned the hug, albeit with less enthusiasm than her male companion. Flash pulled back, gripping Twilight by the shoulders and looking directly into her purple eyes with the biggest grin on his face.

"Twilight! It's really you!" he exclaimed. "It's been so long! I don't think I've seen you since before the Friendship Games!"

"Yeah, I haven't had a lot of chances to drop by," replied Twilight, playing with a strand of her hair. "You know, official business and all. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but I've always got a lot on my plate."

"I understand. You're a princess, I'm sure you have a lot to deal with. But I'm glad you came back!" Flash looked happier than Twilight thought she'd ever seen him. Honestly, she was surprised he didn't start jumping up and down. "So, do you wanna go out and do something? From what I hear, you haven't seen many of the sights in the city. You just haven't been around enough."

Twilight paled a little. Sure, she'd been expecting this, but it only made what she needed to do harder. She could just imagine how his heart would drop once she got going.

"Actually, Flash..." she started.

"I know you probably don't want any meat," Flash continued, as though she hadn't spoken, "but I know a lot of great places to get food. Have you been to the cafe Pinkie works at? They—"

"Flash," Twilight said it louder this time, "could we...talk? There's something I really need to tell you."

"Oh. S-sure," replied the boy, his smile waning a little. "Do you wanna go somewhere a little more private?"

"No, I think here will be fine." Twilight gestured around them, showing that the crowd of students had greatly diminished. Everyone was focused on whatever they were doing, ignoring the pair. "No one's going to overhear us."

"Okay," responded Flash, "What did you want to talk about?"

Twilight swallowed. Now was the moment of truth.

"Flash...I like you, and I mean like like you. You were pretty much the first other person that I've showed an interest in...at least, that way."

"I know that," replied Flash. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual. I like you a lot, Twilight, and I want to keep—"

Twilight held up a hand. "Please, let me finish." Flash obediently closed his mouth, but his eyes were starting to become tinged with fear.

Twilight continued, speaking as fast as she felt she could, before her nerves failed her. "What I'm trying to say is...I've enjoyed the time we spent together. You really made me feel special. But unfortunately, our current arrangement...let's just say it doesn't work. You know what I mean, I haven't even had the chance to come over and visit you in months."

Flash nodded. Looking down at his hands, Twilight noticed them start to scratch at his palms and arms. If she'd been in his shoes, Twilight would've guessed that he wasn't actually itchy at all.

"We're literally from different worlds, Flash. Even if we got a better schedule set up, when we could both visit each other across the portal...I mean, I'm a princess, and you'll be off to college in a couple of years. I just don't think we'll be able to really make it work."

"Twilight, please don't say..." Flash managed to squeeze out.

"I'm sorry, Flash. But I think we can't have a real...relationship."

There. She'd said it. The thing that'd been on her mind for the past few weeks. Twilight had thought she'd feel as though a burden was lifted off her shoulders once she got it out. But she took one look at Flash's face, and her hopes were dashed.

Flash's mouth had dropped open, and his eyes had begun to water. He'd stopped scratching himself, but his palms shook, and he looked absolutely crushed. He seemed to be searching for some other possibility, anything to escape what Twilight had said. In that moment, Twilight wished she could tell him it was all one big joke, then give him another hug and go out on a date with him.

"No...I...why?" Flash pleaded.

Twilight looked down sadly. "Please understand, this isn't what I wanted. But...I haven't been fair to you. I kept putting off telling you this, until Sunset wrote to me and told me you were missing me, and I—"

"No, we don't have to end it!" Flash declared, his voice booming with false confidence. "I can be better! I can come visit you instead! Heck, I'll move to Equestria for you! I don't mind turning into a pony, it might be kinda cool! I—"

"Flash, you know that wouldn't work," insisted Twilight. "I can't ask you to just ditch your world, your family, everything you've ever known. It'd kill me to know I did that to you."

"Well, then, we'll find a way to make it work!" Flash continued. "I can just go to college in the city, where I'm always close to Canterlot High! We can visit like once a month, or more often if I can make it, and we'll trade off! Maybe we can be the first cross-species—"

"Flash, please!" Twilight almost shouted. She immediately felt guilty about doing so, as the tears started to drip from Flash's eyes, but she continued. "Don't make this harder. I care about you, and that's why I'm doing this. I know this hurts, but I'd rather we get it over with now, rather than wait and wake up years down the road, realizing we're trying something that can never work."

Flash's arms dropped to his sides in defeat. He cast his gaze towards the ground as the tears continued to drip down his face, hitting the sidewalk beneath them. His mouth opened and closed several times, but he couldn't find the words.

The Princess of Friendship sighed to herself. She'd known she was going to hurt him, but that did little to soften to impact of the guilt on her spirit. Flash had been nothing but kind to her, and she'd thanked him by breaking his heart. She knew this was for the best, but the pain was still there, and she guessed he felt even worse.

Twilight took her backpack off and opened it up. She pulled out a large box, and handed it to Flash, who accepted it numbly. "Here. I had my version of Pinkie bake you something to cheer you up after this." She forced herself to smile. "And for what it's worth, Flash, we'll always be friends. I'm sure you'll find someone else, you're a great guy."

The boy didn't respond, merely wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Twilight put her arms around him again, and Flash returned the hug, though with far less passion than before.

"I'll see you later. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"...thank you," Flash replied, weakly.

Twilight gave him another smile, though this one was more half-hearted, then strolled off. She forced herself not to look back, afraid she'd run back to Flash and invalidate the last few minutes. Around the corner, Sunset and H-Twilight awaited her.

"Did you do it?" asked her counterpart.

Twilight couldn't muster a worded response, merely nodding.

"How'd he take it?" asked Sunset.

The princess shook her head, and Sunset winced.

"That bad, huh?"

---

Flash Sentry sat on the stoop of his house, the open box of red velvet cookies from Twilight sitting next to him. He had one in his hand, and he'd occasionally take a bite out of it, but he didn't taste it. It just felt like cardboard on his tongue. His gaze was directed down at his sneakers, but without really seeing them. There was a slight red tinge to his eyes, and he'd occasionally sniffle, but otherwise, he made no sound. To an outside viewer, he looked dead to the world.

Behind him, the door opened, and a middle-aged man with blue hair poked out. "You sure you don't wanna come in, Flash?" he asked. "We could catch the game."

"No thanks, Dad," replied the teenager in a neutral tone of voice.

His father looked down at Flash Sentry with concern in his eyes, but he didn't press the issue. He ducked back into the house, closing the door behind him. Flash acted as though he'd never come out at all. He might as well not have. If Flash were asked, he'd have claimed nothing could've moved him from his spot. Nothing short of a miracle, at least.

"Hey, Flash!" called a voice from up the road. Flash glanced up briefly, seeing a familiar head of red and gold hair waving at him. He raised one hand in an effort to wave back, but the attempt was pathetic and he knew it. He dropped his arm back to his side. Sunset didn't seem to mind though, coming up the driveway to the stoop.

"Mind if I sit next to you?" she asked. Flash gave a small nod, and Sunset sat down on the opposite side as the box of cookies.

"So, uh...that was a pretty bad day, right?" she asked. Most other times, Flash would've gotten angry with her for being so casual about it, but he couldn't bring himself to care now.

"At least she was nicer than I was," Sunset commented offhandedly. She flinched as she saw Flash clench his fist, crushing the remains of the cookie he'd been eating. "Er, that is, at least you got—"

"Sunset, I'm gonna advise you to stop right there," Flash interrupted. "You already put your foot in your mouth once, and you're coming close to doing it again. If you keep this up, you might accidentally breaking Rainbow Dash's record."

Sunset managed a weak laugh at that. "Thanks for stopping me." She looked with sadness at her ex-boyfriend, though the boy in question was in despair far greater than hers. "Don't worry, Flash. You're a great guy, and I'm sure you'll find someone—"

"Twilight already gave me that cliché, Sunset. I don't need it a second time. And don't bring up the 'don't be sad it's over, be happy it happened' crap, either."

Sunset frowned. Flash had expected as much. Whenever he didn't immediately cheer up upon application of some stock advice, they tended to get mad at him, like it was his fault. It wasn't like he cared, however. At least not this time.

"Flash, you can't be angry at her," Sunset insisted. "You heard her, she did it because she didn't want to force you to give up your dreams or anything like that. She was being considerate. Don't hold it against her."

"I'm not holding it against her," Flash retorted, anger starting to creep into his voice. "I'm getting ticked off because I just lost my chance with the most special girl I've ever known, and you're sitting here spewing trite garbage and acting like I should be grateful."

The former unicorn actually gasped at Flash's biting response. She raised one hand, and for a second, he wondered if she was actually going to slap him. She relented, however, and instead just glared at him.

"What do you want me to say, Flash?" she snapped. "That Twilight's a horrible person for breaking up with you? That you got screwed for no reason? That life sucks? That you lost your one chance at happiness?"

"Well a little sympathy would be nice!" Flash shouted back. "You're acting like I have no right to be angry! Like I have no right to be disappointed! All I wanted was for her to give me a chance! A chance to prove I could make her happy! And she just pushed me to the side, like I didn't even matter! You act like I'm supposed to just accept this consolation prize," he gestured to the box of cookies, "and be happy with it! Well I'm not!"

"She doesn't owe you anything!" Sunset retorted. "She did everything she could to try and make it easier for you! I'm sorry you don't like the advice I'm giving you, but stop acting like she intentionally hurt your feelings! You know that she would never do that!"

"Yeah, but..." Flash stopped mid-sentence. He couldn't continue. His eyes began to water again, and he cupped his face in his palms, hiding his tears from Sunset. The Equestrian girl's expression softened, and she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, feeling his back heave as he sobbed. She opened her mouth several times, but could find nothing to say. Nothing that would help his mood, anyway. She just let him ride out the wave of sadness, crying until his eyes were dried out and he raised his head once again.

"I just don't understand..." he mumbled. "What did I do wrong? I would've done anything I could to make it work, even if she is a princess. I cared about her so much..."

"Maybe you didn't do anything wrong," replied Sunset. "You're not a bad person, Flash. She just didn't see a way it could work without screwing you over, and she never wanted that."

Flash sniffed, laying his chin down onto his knees. "I know. Like I said, I'm not mad at her, I'm just...disappointed. She was incredible, and she made me feel special for once in my life."

"If it makes you feel any better," Sunset continued. "She agonized over it for days. We talked over the journal, and she was terrified of breaking your heart and hurting you. Like I said, at least she was nice about it, unlike I was."

"I'm not mad at you for that, not anymore," said Flash. "You're not that person anymore. It just...it hurts now, y'know?"

Sunset smiled sadly. "You want to talk about it some more? I can hang around, I don't have anything I need to take care of."

"No thanks," said Flash. "I'll be fine. T-thanks for trying, at least. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Sunset patted him on the back, then got to her feet and walked away.

Flash Sentry cast his gaze upwards. The sun was descending, painting a brilliant orange glow across the sky. It was a beautiful sight, but not one he could appreciate. Not at the moment. Flash lowered his head, allowing his emotions to run wild again. As he felt more tears coming, he quietly thought over all the time he'd spent with Twilight. Even in the depths of his sadness, he knew one thing: he wouldn't trade those moments for anything.

Author's Note:

I know, it's not a particularly original idea. Mainly what I wanted to do with this story was show a Flash who's a bit less perfect, who has a harder time handling their breakup. YMMV on whether I succeeded or not.

Comments

[Ditz]

Reading a sad break-up story at 1 in the morning oh goody.

Being me and loving some misery, I enjoyed it. I feel you tackled the emotions between Twi and Flash well. I could feel the anxiety from the moment, which I'm always down for.

I do feel like something is missing from the final conversation between Sunset and Flash, though. As if it could have been longer, maybe? It's hard to say--my brain is kinda loopy right now.

In short, I liked it quite a tad! Good stuff.

[Pete100]

Twilight guessed there might be more to it than that, but merely nodded, realizing it was something to be dealt with another day.

What is she talking about?

"Flash...I like you, and I mean like like you. You were pretty much the first other person that I've showed an interest in...at least, that way."

Who else did she show an interest in?

Also, I’m sorry, but I don’t even blame flash for snapping on sunset. I would have either snapped on her worse or went inside, because the things she saying isn’t helping and her timing is terrible.

[DarthSylar12]

I think you did great. Very nicely done.

[SUPERETHAN2]

Interesting fic fixing something that bothered me about the movies, not having Twilight making it clear to flash that they can't be together herself, instead of Sunset doing it, without even consulting Twilight, despite having a magic journal to contact her. You also handled it properly by giving it the focus and care it needed instead of Sunset bluntly saying it and shrugging it off when called out. Yeah, this is pretty much how it should have played out in canon, though without the conversation with Sunset that whole thing is a bit of a mess, though at least unlike in canon she seems to understand and realize at least some of her mistakes during it.