Ponyville, E.A.M., Blast Cores
As the chariot was pulled across the skies by the armored pegasi, Celestia and Luna looked at Zeke, he looked like he was about to fall asleep at any moment, "You seem tired, you should take a nap, young Zeke." Luna said putting a wing over Zeke while she used magic to take Zeke's clothing off.
Zeke immediately tried to push Luna's wing away and said, "I'm not..." Zeke yawns mid-sentence, "Tired..." Zeke then puts his front legs over his beanie to keep it from leaving his head. "And magic off the beanie!" Zeke said then he felt Luna's feathers brush across his withers making him even more sleepy than before, "Oh, you cheating-" Zeke flopped face-first onto the cousins passing out completely, Luna attempted to take off his beanie again but Zeke's hooves landed right back onto his head again.
Celestia giggled and said, "Oh, Lulu, leave his strange little hat alone. So now that he's asleep, can you find what caused him to be so vulgar and use those illegalized words?"
Luna's horn continued to glow as she stopped messing with Zeke's beenie, then Luna said, "Hmmm... From what I can guess, he's suffering from a traumatic experience, his mind has put him in a delusional state that he's a human reborn as a pony. As for his vulgarness, I can't seem to tell what it is, he seems to have."
Celestia sighed and said, "I hope my little ponies will be able to help with his-"
"Hold on, I've noticed a pattern in his memories, he seems to do it to repress a regret he has he and if I had to compare how much he regrets this action, it's like my regret since the Nightmare Moon event, also he climbs structures when nervous or stressed," Luna said.
"I see, well, as his Co-Mothers, we'll have to help him uncover and overcome that, won't we?" Celestia with confidence in her voice.
Luna smiled widely as she then picked up Zeke and held him like a baby and said, "Yes, I doubt it needs to be said that we've both wanted a foal to call our own!" Luna then attempted to take off Zeke's beanie.
Zeke's eyes snapped open and said, "Yeah that's great, but let me tell you a little secret though, when somepony is sleeping, you should whisper!" Then Zeke pulled his beanie out of Luna's grasp, "And keep your mouth off my beanie!"
"It's filthy! Give it here!" Luna said as the two began to wrestle over the beanie until Celestia pulled it off his head.
"Hey!" Zeke said before jumping up to try and grab his beanie.
"You can have this back after we clean it and if you no longer swear," Celestia said.
"Fine, but I want it back as soon as it's clean," Zeke said with a bit of venom in his tone.
"We'll also have to work on your tone with grown-ups," Luna said before brushing Zeke's mane, "I don't know why you hide your mane in the first place, it's so naturally smooth and soft."
"You get no swearing or be kinder, I ain’t doing both," Zeke said before he swatted away Luna's hoof then said, "Stop it!"
Zeke spotted a town outside the window and noticed a large apple orchard then he felt the chariot land on the ground and come to a stop, Celestia opened the door and they were greeted by hundreds of ponies, Celestia and Luna stepped out of the chariot and were greeted by 6 ponies.
An Alicorn mare with a dark purple mane and tail with a pink stripe, a lavender coat, horn, and wings, and a tattoo of a 6 pointed star with smaller white stars on her flank.
An Earth Pony mare with a long sandy blonde mane and tail, an orange coat, and a tattoo of 3 apples on her flank.
A Unicorn mare with an elegant deep purple mane and tail, a snow-white coat and horn, and a tattoo of 3 diamonds on her flank.
A Pegasus mare with a short rainbow mane and tail, a cyan coat and wings, and a tattoo of a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt on her flank.
An Earth mare with a curly deep pink mane and tail, a pink coat, and a tattoo of a blue balloon and two yellow balloons on her flank.
A Pegasus mare with a light pink mane and tail, a butter yellow coat, and a tattoo of 3 pink butterflies on her flank.
"Welcome, Princesses, as you can see, the ponies of Ponyville are overjoyed you'll be staying here," Twilight said.
Celestia chuckled and said, "Twilight, you're a princess too, you don't need to address us in such a formal way."
"Sorry, It's just after hearing you adopted a foal and you'd be moving into Ponyvillie, I couldn't help but get a little excited," Twilight said as she rubbed the back of her head.
"So where is he or she?" The pink mare said before she zoomed past Celestia and Luna into the chariot.
Then Pinkie came out Zeke was on her head, but she didn't seem to know that as she said, "Where is he or she?".
The ponies chuckled at Pinkie's obliviousness, "He's a boy and try on your head, darling." Rarity said.
Pinkie looked up only for Zeke to lean back to keep out of her line of sight, quickly leaned into Pinkie's line of sight, and screamed, "BOO!".
"AAAAHHHHHHi there, I’m Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said as she almost immediately recovered from Zeke's jumpscare.
"Well that was short-lived," Zeke said then as he jumped off Pinkie's head and walked forward until Pinkie jumped in front of him.
“Whatisyournamewhenisyourbirthdaywhatisyourfavoriteflavorofcakehowaboutdrinkwhatkindofpartiestoyoulikehuhhuhhuh?!” Pinkie said, of her words Zeke understood none of them.
“Were you dropped on your head as a foal?” Zeke bluntly said.
Pinkie gasped before saying, “How’d you know?”
Zeke rolled his eyes and said, “Psychic powers.”
“Really?! What number am I thinking of?!” Pinkie said with even more excitement in her voice.
“........ Cupcake.” Zeke said with a glare.
“Your good.” Pinkie said with a smile.
Celestia giggled and said, “Well, you seem to have a handle on this Luna and I are going to unpack our things at the new house, see you all in a minute.”
As Celestia and Luna walked off with packages levitating over their heads, Zeke jumped into the chariot and came out with his beanie and jacket.
Then Twilight walked up to Zeke as he got dressed before Pinkie could continue and said, “Well, hello there. I’m Twilight Sparkle.”
“Equestria’s biggest book nerd, I’ve heard the rumors,” Zeke said bluntly.
Twilight said, glancing back at the others as they chuckled, “I’m not that bad!”
“Look! A pony with a rare book!” Zeke yelled, pointing to an empty area.
“Where?!” Twilight yelled turning her head in the direction Zeke was pointing only to be laughed at when she realized she was tricked.
The rainbow mare said while laughing, “He got you good, Twi!” After a solid minute of laughing her head off Zeke was about to say something but the rainbow mare said, “I’m Rainbow Dash, I’m sure the rumors about me are about how awesome I am.”
“About 5% were, 65% were about how you have an ego so big and dense that talking to you is talking like a stack of bricks, the remaining 30% is from ponies trying to guess how many times you’ve crash-landed,” Zeke said.
“He’s got a point Rainbow, ya do got a big ego to keep in check,” the cowgirl mare said.
Rainbow blushed and said, “Shut up! I’ve been getting better about controlling my ego!“
“Sure ya have, we’ll mah name is Applejack, so where ya from little fella?” Applejack asked.
Zeke shrugged and said, “Seaddle, I’m guessing by you apple pun of a name you're from that apple orchard.”
“Eeyup! I help run Sweet Apple Acres, home to the best apples in Equestria!” Applejack yelled.
Zeke rolled his eyes and said, “And judging by how loud you yelled that you're not selling many apples and are trying to promote your crop.”
Applejack was surprised at Zeke’s comment and said while looking around and sweating uncontrollably, “W-What!? No!”
“Oh my adoptive mother, you lie like a cheap rug,“ Zeke said.
“He’s got you there AJ, you can’t lie worth a darn,” Rainbow said with a smirk, Applejack blushed from embarrassment and turned away.
Then the white mare stepped forward with the yellow mare in tow and said, “Greetings, I am Rarity, owner of several high-retail fashion stores across Equestria, as the new prince, I’m sure you’ll need a tux-”
“If a tux so much as even gets close to me, I will strangle you with it.” Zeke interrupted with a glare.
Rarity chuckled nervously before coughing and saying, “Right, and this shy mare is Fluttershy, she takes care of animals.”
“And from the rumors, she’s also a moocher and a jobless bum,” Zeke said.
Fluttershy looked away and made a noise but nopony could tell if it was words or not. Then Pinkie jumped in Zeke’s face again and said, “Now that introductions are out of the way, let’s begin your welcoming party!”. Suddenly Pinkie pulled out from her mane a large cart with ovens, confetti cannons, snow cone machines, and several different party supplies. Then a boom box started playing a playful tune as Pinkie began bouncing around repeating the word welcome over and over in a sing-song voice as her cart’s cannons went shot off confetti, the snow cone machines started on their own, and colored lights.
Zeke noticed three strange objects on the cart as he ignored Pinkie’s singing, glowing crystals covered in jagged rock, one orange stone making smoke from wood and leaves for the cannons, one blue hooked up to the lights powering them, one a light cyan submerged in water and freezing it and supplying ice for the snow cone machine. ‘Blast Cores?’ Zeke thought before saying, “Hey, nerd. What are those rock looking things?”
“My name is Twilight and those ‘rocks’ are Magicite, magical stones that, depending on the specific coloration, create one specific thing from nothing! Most of Equestria uses them like Pinkie does, to provide that one thing, like ice, electricity. However, two problems with it, one, when it forms naturally it creates fairly big explosions, and using magic on them makes them go critical and make an explosion big enough,” Twilight sighs mid-sentence, “To turn Manehatten into a crater.”
“Then why call it something that has the word Magic in it when it hates magic? Why not Blast Cores, frankly it sounds better and-”
“No!” Twilight angrily yelled interrupting Zeke before coughing her hoof and saying a calm voice, “I mean… Magic is the building blocks of just about everything in Equestria, how else could the Magicite do the things they do?”
“From what I can see, they’re fed certain materials and then they create that one specific thing from those materials given. Meaning the orange Blast Core is just extremely hot, the blue Blast Core just has an extremely high electrical charge, and the light cyan Blast Core is just extremely cold, that’s science, not magic. How? I don’t know I’m not an expert on Blast Cores.” Zeke said, saying and adding emphasis on ‘Blast Cores’ to get under Twilight’s skin, and from the looks of how beat red Twilight’s face was, it was working.
Zeke was about to continue but Pinkie began getting in his face while still singing Welcome over and over. “Will someone shut her up!” Zeke yelled and as if on queue a small black bomb landed in one of the ovens and blew up the whole cart to pieces, the Blast Cores falling to the ground. “A bit excessive but I’ll take it,” Zeke said as Pinkie stopped singing.
Ponies looked to see armored Earth Ponies and Pegasi, each colored dark grey with yellow stripes with the letters “E.A.M.” on the stripes, the Earth Ponies had small cannons on a strange-looking staddle bag that fired the black bombs high enough for them to turn around and buck the bombs at a target, the Pegasi had fully working tesla coils on their backs and were dive-bombing anypony that got too close to the Earth Ponies.
“E.A.M.?! Why now of all times?!” Twilight said.
Zeke raised an eyebrow and asked, “E.A.M.? Who are they?”
“It stands for Equestria Against Magic, a group that wreaks havoc on ponies, especially Unicorns, all to get rid of any magic-user or magical object in Equestria until there is no more magic. They tend to attack things the Princesses are involved in, they probably hear for you,” Twilight said.
“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s kick ‘em outta town!” Rainbow said hovering off the ground as the other 5 readies for a fight and the other ponies ran away.
Pinkie then pointed a cannon at the E.A.M. ponies and said, “This for wrecking my party wagon! Have some super sticky cupcake batter!” Pinkie then fired a glob of pink batter, but some E.A.M. Earth Ponies lined up, the front row facing the back row, which was facing forward.
Then the front row stood on their front hooves raising their back hooves in the air and the back row began launching bombs into the ready to buck hooves of the front row, launching bomb after bomb into the batter glob like a row cannon fire, halting its forward momentum. Then the two rows bucked a slightly larger bomb at the batter glob which exploded before it could connect, sending the batter glob right back at the Mane 6, then as the group was about to run from the glob of batter the bombs went off and blasted the batter onto the Mane 6, restricting any movement.
“Dangit, I can’t move!” Rainbow yelled as the mares struggled to get free.
“Hold on, girls! I’ll get some help-” Pinkie says as she broke through the 4th wall.
But she was rudely stopped by a wooden katana held by Deadpool, “No ya don’t my rambunctious pink pony, ya ain’t breaking the 4th wall this time.” He said as he stuffed his disfigured face with Chimi Cherry Changas from a nearby machine.
“But-” Pinkie said with puppy eyes until she was hit again by Deadpool.
“No buts. Unlike in Death Battle where I wasn’t being paid to complete the task I was so rudely given, I’m being paid to keep you from breaking the 4th wall to get outside help.” Deadpool stated.
“Ok, but can I have a Chimi Cherry Changa before I go?” Pinkie asked
”Sure thing! I’m being paid with lots of food!” Deadpool said before stuffing three Chimi Cherry Changas in Pinkie’s mouth and sending her back to the scene.
Her friends had completely ignored the fact Pinkie vanished from sight then Twilight glanced behind her to see Zeke messing around with the remains of the party cart. “Why are you still here?! They’re after you!” Twilight yelled.
Zeke snickered and said, “In the physical sense, I’m much like you, but in the genetic sense, I couldn’t be more different than you.” Zeke then pulled out the light cyan Blast Core, “I’m something called a Conduit! Now watch this!” Zeke said before he crushed the Blast Core with his bare hooves and was engulfed in a light cyan light then he seemingly turned into icy dust that was blown across the battlefield by a strange and very sudden breeze. “Ha Ha! It worked!” Zeke said, his voice coming from the icy dust.
“What the hay!?” One of the E.A.M. units yelled in confusion, then the icy wind began to swarm and terrorize the E.A.M. units, making their armor start to grow patches of frost and ice in places that made it hard to move.
“A-Ah where to begin with this!” Applejack said.
Rainbow glanced at Twilight, who was unconscious with her head steaming and foaming at the mouth, “Don’t think too hard about it, or you’ll end up like Twi.” RD said.
‘Hmmm… This icy wind stuff is bound to run on a timer, I’ve heard about that happening when a newly awakened Conduit has a certain power both after a while they can’t seem to do it again, or at best, not to the level of the original... So at best, I’ll probably just be able to become Ice Dust for a short period... I wonder if I can…’ Zeke thought. Then the icy wind began to swarm on top of a house, Zeke started to form and become a living creature again but not in the shape of an Earth Pony colt, Zeke was forming back into his old Human self, and when he was done, there stood Zeke in his old Human body and ponies went slack-jawed. “Fuck yeah! Human and ready to knock some fucking head! Might not be permanent and I might change back at some point but I don’t give a flying fuck!” Zeke yelled at the top of his lungs, Rarity immediately passed out in the batter from his swearing, then Zeke jumped down from the rooftop and said as he walked toward the E.A.M. units, ”Best hope your boss has a thawing machine! Because I’m about to send you fuckheads to the Ice Age!”.
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Gotta go with the classic Mr. "Arnold" Freeze, "What killed the Donosaurs? . . . The Ice Age!"
10387405
That my friend has earned you 1 more follower.
It's ice to meet you
Chill out
Freeze
Time for a cold snap
I rank you all below zero
Talk about giving someone the cold shoulder
I am sry i know there really dumb
I can't believe i missed that one
10387423
Eh, I've heard worse, B+
10387430
And here i thought I'd get iced for how bad they were
10387405
You glorious bastard you took my idea
I forgot one
Ice see you
10387443
Hey, that one actually made me chuckle.
10387441
Stay Cool, Wanderer.
Hmmm, I wonder if he will start taming Windigos... Or maybe producing conduit variants akin to video angels and demons
10387462
I was thinking something similar to the Ice Titan from InFAMOUS 2
I can imagine Luna thinking "works every time."
Did she say all of that in one breath?
10387405
I always liked the Student Bodies version. Their ""women"" confused them too much.
Okay. I got a chuckle out of that.
To take a quote from a minor celebrity when I was a kid,
Somepony get some aloe vera up'n here. I detect some burn victims.
https://www.deviantart.com/arisaka420/art/Deadpool-meets-Pinkie-Pie-282346036
4
Care to go for a 5th? I'm happy that you're happy, Z, but you're at a 10; For everypony's sake, take it to a 6 or so, huh?
10387473
Hmmm, I could see that *Sips Tea* but there is a preexisting ice based entity. Inspiration, integration, or elimination were the three outcomes I pictured with them.
Inspiration: Learning to summon conduit versions
Integration: Begin controlling them like Nix did with the swamp monsters
Elimination: Destroying them and possibly absorbing something from them to gain a power boost.
10387526
Zeke: NEVER!!!!
10387498
Do you think she couldn't?
10387955
Possibly? It is Pinkie we're talking about.
She really should keep herself around the 7 level, though.
10388008
Zeke: Tell me I'm wrong and I'll take it back.
YOU SCRIM I SCRIM FOR ICED CRIM
10388020
she owns a sanctuary, had a short time as a model but long enough to get royalties . And she's basically the town pet sitter and secondary vet
10388458
Zeke: 1. How does she pay for the upkeep of that sanctuary? 2. Why bring up the model gig if it does literally nothing for her? 3. I bet she isn't paid from either of those last to points.
10388547
Government stipend . She's a national hero and when she register the sanctuary. The royal courts help pay for its upkeep. But as for her own expenses? None of our business, if she doesn't want to tell anyone how she has a house and bits enough to keep herself and several wild animals fed is her own business
A rude little conduit.. I love it! I need more of this
10388592
Yeah, Zeke is a little shit ain't he?
10388701
I assume "I'm putting you lot on ice!" Has already been said?
Perhaps "Anyone order a deep freeze? No? TOO BAD YOUR GETTING ONE ANYWAYS!!"
"Here's a icicle sandwich!"
"Aww, getting cold feet are we?"
"Don't worry, Not like I'm giving you the "Cold Shoulder" or anything."
10388729
Change feet to 'Hooves'.
10388751
Would he really use pony lingo though? Given what we've seen of his personality?
10388918
True.
10388918
But there is also the fact Ponies don't have feet.
10388925
Honestly given how he acts I don't really think he'd give a damn if they understood what he was talking about, and that he knew the pun he was making so that would be enough for him.
10388931
Yeah, he'd probably just beat the stuffing out of the pony if they got or not.
10388701
It's actually a nice twist on the hero type. The hero's in games are the goody goody type and it's nice. But Seeing Zeke being a little shit is awesome. I know he'll go far and be a good hero but still be him.
It's starting!
have an ice trip
your on thin ice
icetala vista
looks like some freezer burn
looks like they are giving me a frosty reception
so is this dunbar or some other zeke cos if its dunbar i guess hell froze over
Ice to meet you, now get frost (lost)!
This story is pretty cool
The EAM need to chill out
I hope Zeke doesn't get the cold shoulder for helping
Update?
10793520
When its done.
So the princesses move out, good good
BRAINS!!!