• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2017
  • offline last seen Jul 2nd, 2020


A novice writer with a big case of writing two sentences then removing three.


Damien Silver never expect to be sent to another world.
Nor though a Bright flash of light
But curiosity didn't kill this cat
(Well..not yet)
So follow his antics adventures
From the Crystal Empire to the Chrysalis's hive
As he's usually more interested with the world around him rather than finding a way back home.

Photo is not Mine

I will add or remove tags as I write :rainbowkiss:

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 49 )

Oh my god this story kicks ass!

“Maybe I should fight they in order of fastest to slowest.” I suggested.”That’s a better plan than running since they’re almost as fast as me.”

Maybe i should fight 'them' in order of fastest to slowest, I think it's supposed to be.

Also cool start to the story, look forward to any future chapters.

Please put spaces after the full stops, also, the sentences might be a bit short.
Otherwise good! would like to see how this develops.

I see potential in this story, but I would recommend not switching from 1st person to 3rd person often.

Lets see...
He presents himself as a typical arrogant street thug.
He steals from market vendors seemingly just because he can.
He runs from guards when caught breaking the law.
Rather than trying to get away since “they’re almost as fast as me.” which implies they AREN’T as fast as he is and he could just run away, he turns around and murders the guard trying to arrest him for theft.
He does everything with the casual disregard for morals or life found with the typical sociopath.

well... it seems we have our unlikable antagonistic sociopathic villain, so when do we meet the hero of this story?

now this would be a good story if there was more then one chapter I look foward to more in the future

oh that guy is gonna get in so much trouble when twilight gets her hooves on him

probably be accused of being a changeling

not all shape shifters are changelings

oh let me correct it then. probably be accused of being a changeling

well there might not be any changeling in this world but yea I can see your point there


So follow his antics adventures
From the Crystal Empire to the Chrysalis's hive

brehh did you even read the description?

nope im a simple man i see kitty i cliks it

This is starting out nice, just want to point out that it is written Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash, and you may want to put in spaces after full stops and commas as it makes for easier readability. You might also want to use itallics for thoughts instead of quotation marks.
Keep at it, this story is starting better than a lot of fanfics I know.

Thank you,I wasn't sure if I wrote their personalities right.

You wrote them pretty well, your grammer just needs some work but the story telling is great!

Great Story. A tiny bit of grammar is wrong, but still, love it! :twilightsmile:

do you continue this story?
I mean no offence, but I don't understand why they often put stories into their groups that maybe don't get any new chapters like storys that are from two or three years before. To me there is no point in reading incomplete stories. I think at least that is where I found it

Now I kind of like the idea and hope he plays the part of a pet a bit longer before showing himself to the ponies, I plan to read it tomorrow.

I am continuing it.I just lost motivation to write but I'm writing chapter 3 now.

Alright, then I add it to my list and start reading tomorrow.

aawww I hoped they only meet Damien the cat at first and I kind of hope no divine being or Discord claim that they brought him here.
No one ever really use the pet thing long enough or at all.

After Da

mien passed out, the cyan bird-ehm Pegasus,RainbowDash carried him by the scruff off his neck and flew to FlutterShy's cottage.After he was placed against flat pillow on the couch, FlutterShy began check him for any broken bones or bruises as RainbowDash explained what had happened.

ooooohhh he was a cat.

"I'm going to assume that that 'Everfree',they're talking about is a forest"I said,facing the horses."I am offended that you would think to toss me in there.I mean think about the other animals and their safety."My gaze moves towards to a random bear in the room."Scratch that,what about my safety"I add.

good job, I know several characters that would have started their "fuck fuck fucked fuck fuck fuck I'M fucked" mantra, it just get's annoying to only have those type of main char. Sometimes I think I get easily annoyed if I see to much of the same stuff.

walked back over to the couch and leaped on top on it.I curled up against on of the pillows and laid my head down.I pretended to sleep.I heard to clip-clip of hooves go up the stairs.It stopped and after a while light snoozes could be heard.I leaped from my spot on the couch and left the 'hospital' through a doggy door.

I kind of expected to read some talking.
I mean they just left when he laid himself down?

I leaned against a high branch and placed the make-shift pillow behind my head.I crossed my legs over another branch.As my eyes closed,I fell into a deep sleep quickly.

Now probably either Applejack or Rainbow are going to typically attack him I guess.

That last comment is clever but Fluttershy's house is too far from Aj's farm for him to be there.

ooooohhh he was a cat

Also didn't realize that wasn't clear


Also didn't realize that wasn't clear

It's okay, If I remember it right you just forgot to let him actually transform in the chapter before that.

"Uhh,shit my head"I groan as I place a paw on my head.I lay on my back in the grass trying to tame my headache.

I looked again, that was probably the only sentence where I could have noticed that he was a cat again, but I haven't noticed the word "paw" there.

but Fluttershy's house is too far from Aj's farm for him to be there.

okay then, I guess I'm just to used to other authors letting their chars arrive at the farm or at Rainbows place in no time. I actually like it that you said that somehow right now.

Now I'm suddenly excited for new chapters.

The second chapter hopefully will be published before May.

There's a little something called "Grammarly" - you should use it. The grammar in this is absolutely awful.

I have Grammarly now so I'll make sure to review that chapter.
I know that this story has a lot of potential so I've been working on keeping it consistent. I created the first two chapters on a whim so I didn't even think of my main character's personality. I have gotten an idea of how I want him and am currently writing the next chapter.

"oh haha thats cute, kids are chasing him because he looks like a cat!"
"now he needs food so i guess he has to resort to stealing i guess..."
"uh oh he's in trouble with the guards i bet he'll outrun them in his cat for- oh holy shit he slit that mans throat"


Well the grammar has definently improved, making this a lot more enjoyable to read. Main thing to improve would be your flow and rythm of sentances now, 'cos once you figure that out it'll become so much more immersive. Keep learning because this is shaping up nicely!

Also, what's with this?

(add a horizontal line here)

you liiiiiive!!!!!

oops, I left that in. I have to fix that.

I was using Word to write this one.

Not sure if I didn't looked closely enough at certain parts, but I didn'T understood the whole situation every second. I thought in the end he either went to Twilight or Zecora and then he was suddenly in front of Fluttershys house.

I think the way I read maybe made me miss one or two keywords to help me understand the situation, at least in the end it was maybe a little bit clearer once I took a second look, then again I know now that he was supposed to be with Fluttershy.

Sorry I can't exactly tell you why that happened but I noticed again, that this was your first story so it's okay no matter if it was me or the way the sentence was written.
Well I'm still pretty tired so I get my coffe now and give it a second read later I guess, thank you for the new chapter. I really hope that you keep it up a bit and maybe make him impress Fluttershy a bit while he is still in his cat form. I forgot why he was maybe still in it anyway and have to reread the first chapter. (prologue)

Sorry if it wasn't clear as I had a lot more attention on grammar this time and didn't have my prereader reader reread it as they were busy this week, I'll pay more attention to that while writing the next one.

Thanks for telling me.

You missed doing an oblivion reference

What they said⬇️⬇️⬇️

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