This Is Home

by Melody Song

This Is Who I Am

Author's Note:

This is the first Trans fic I've written. If it's not perfect know I tried my best, and I mean no insult to anyone who is Trans. And please, no hate comments. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

~Melody Song

Limestone looked over at Marble, sleeping peacefully in the bed at the other end of the room they shared in their family home. Limestone sighed and closed her eyes, ready to rest for the long day of work to come.

A week or so later, Limestone and Marble, along with their parents, were visiting their sisters in Ponyville. Limestone was greeted by the overly-excited hug from Pinkie, as usual.

“Hi everypony! I’m so glad you’re all here! I can’t wait to show you around, we didn’t get much chance during Hearthswarming and…”

It was here that Limestone drowned out her sister’s blabbering, so used to the noise she didn’t pay attention much unless necessary.

“...And you have to meet Cheese Sandwich! He’s going to love you!” Limestone jerked her head up.

“Who’s Cheese Sandwich?”

“He’s my boyfriend silly!”

Limestone didn’t know why, but Pinkie’s words felt like a cold dagger being plunged into her heart. She recalled feeling the same way when Pinkie brought word to them that Maud was dating a stallion. Limestone knew she should be happy for her sister-sisters, now-but everytime she tried to say it her throat closed up. What was wrong with her?

“Cheesie is the best! He loves parties just like me, he always cheers me up when I’m sad, and he’s the best coltfriend in the whole world! Don’t tell Rainbow though, she thinks Soarin is.”

“Why can’t I fall in love like everypony else?” Limestone thought. She took a deep, shuddering breath, then let it out. She saw Marble glance her way, obviously concerned, but shook her head at her.

“Guess it just avoids the stress of falling out of it.” Limestone muttered, trying to convince herself.

--------------------------------------------

“Limestonia.” her father said as they unpacked their things in the hotel that afternoon.

“Yes father?”

“Thou aren’t thinking of cutting thou’s mane again, art thou?” he gestured to her mane, which had grown out recently.

“I was.” Limestone admitted gruffly, not facing him.

“Thou must uphold the family name Limestonia.” her mother chided, joining in.

“Well I don’t care.” Limestone thought bitterly.

That night, Limestone pulled out her journal. She turned to a fresh page and began to write.

Have you ever felt...just uncomfortable in your own coat? Like no matter what you do, something’s wrong?

My parents don’t get it. They say I look normal. They say I’m average. That I was born a girl and that’s how I’ll stay. But I don’t get it. I’m not normal.

That’s why I crew-cut my hair. Not to save time brushing it like Marble and Maud have to. But because it just felt right. I just told my parents that because of how they reacted when I showed up to breakfast with it cropped short.

I also don't let the innate magic that hide my mare parts wear off, even when I go to sleep. I just find them awkward, even to myself.

I’m not normal, but everyday I promise myself I’ll figure out a way to get myself out of this trap I’m in.

--------------------------------------------

Limestone woke early the next morning, while her parents and sister were still asleep. Grabbing some scissors, she headed for the bathroom.

Snip

Snip

Snip

It was the sound that comforted Limestone the most. She watched the longer parts of her mane she’d been itching to remove fall to the floor. Limestone swept the locks of hair into the trash can before leaving.

“Limestonia Delilah Pie!” her father yelled when he saw her. “This hast gone too far!”

Limestone bit her lip as her parents yelled, making her chest tighten. Marble crouched in a corner. Limestone eventually couldn’t take it. She ran.

Limestone ran into the town, pausing to take a breath. All around her ponies were going about their day like nothing was wrong. Everything blurred together as her eyes stung, until they were a mix of colors threatening to blind her. Limestone laid down on the hill and closed her eyes.

--------------------------------------------

“Is she dead?” Limestone heard a filly ask after what seemed years, though it had probably been hours at most.

“She is dead!” another cried

“Girls, honestly. She’s just resting.” a pony answered in a very proper tone.

“Limestone? Is that you?”

Limestone opened her eyes and sat up. Three fillies and three mares stood before her. She recognized two. Applejack and Apple Bloom, her possible cousins.

“She wasn’t dead!” the pegasus filly cried

“Sometimes I think I am.” Limestone murmured

“What was that darling?” the unicorn mare asked

“...I can feel the ghosts and ghouls wrapping around my head.” Limestone mumbled, turning. “But I don’t wanna fall asleep just yet.”

“What is she talking about?” the pegasus mare asked

Limestone ignored them and trotted away, breaking into a canter. She ended up running straight into her parents, who were alone.

“There thou are. We have been searching for thou.” her father said.

Her parents took her back to the hotel, where they stayed for the day. Limestone forced herself to sleep that night. Her pupils dilated from shock when she awoke, seeing her mother and father watching her.

“What do you want?!”

“Thou must act how thou art supposed to.” her mother replied “A lovely mare. Not the stallion thou pretends to be.”

Limestone woke again to find it was just a dream. She heaved a sigh of relief, but then began to consider her dream.

“A...stallion?”

The word felt right on her tongue, like she was meant to say it. Limestone didn’t sleep any more that night.

Limestonia Delilah Pie

That’s the name my parents gave me when I was born. It became shortened to Limestone. I used to think that was my perfect name. But now...it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know why. But...is it maybe because I’m not right?

The next morning, Limestone wandered through Ponyville with her sisters, eyes lined from lack of sleep and her mane messed up. Ponies kept glancing at them.

“Are you okay Limey?” Pinkie asked

“F-fine. I’m fine.” Limestone replied, choking back a sob. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“You usually sleep like a rock.” Maud replied

She was making one of her jokes. Pinkie laughed and Marble smiled, giving a soft chuckle. But Limestone couldn’t respond. Her lips refused to go up in a smile, vocal chords refused to laugh.

“Limestone? Are you sure you’re okay?” Pinkie asked again, this time more concerned.

“It’s nothing Pinkie.”

“No it is not nothing!” Pinkie blurted out. “Usually you’ve already made a snarky comment to Maud’s joke or laughed or done something! Now you’re just following us and staring into space more than Rainbow’s pet tortoise!”

“I-I’m okay.” Limestone replied as they entered the park.

“Hey Pinkie.” the mares from the previous day trotted up, followed by Princess Twilight and another pegasus mare.

“Hey guys.” Pinkie greeted. “Limestone, Marble, these are my friends. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight. You already know AJ.”

“Is something wrong Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked

“Limestone was just about to tell us if something’s wrong.” Maud replied

“Yeah...go on Limey! Spill!” Pinkie ordered, making her sister flinch.

“Get a load of me, the monster. I can’t even talk to my own sisters.” Limestone thought

“I think her mind’s in a different place.” Maud told them

“Well then can everypony give her just a lil’ bit of space?!” Pinkie asked loudly, startling random ponies away from the four siblings and Pinkie’s friends.

“What's wrong dear?” Rarity asked

“I’m not her.” Limestone mumbled

“Hmm?” Marble hummed questioningly.

“I’m sick and tired of being called her!” Limestone yelled, stomping a hoof on the ground. “I’m not her! I don’t know what I am but I-I don’t want to be a mare!”

They all froze, then Pinkie stepped forward.

“Limey...is that what’s been bothering you? Is that why you were being so weird?”

Limestone’s throat closed and the pony gazed at the ground.

“I just...I feel wrong.”

“Wrong how?” Rainbow Dash asked

“I don’t belong in this body.”

“Are you saying you’re trans?” Maud deadpanned

“...Maybe? Is-isn’t that wrong?”

“Oh Limey!” Pinkie hugged her sibling. “Of course it’s not!”

“I just want to feel normal.” Limestone sobbed, pressing into Pinkie’s neck.

“You are normal. If you prefer being called him because it makes you happy, you’re normal.” Maud replied

Then, a voice came from behind them.

“Get a load of that train wreck.” it was issuing from a hot pink mare with a snub nose and a purple mane.

“Her hair’s a mess and she doesn’t know who she is yet.” a gray mare with a white mane agreed.

“Well little do we know the stars welcome him with open hooves.” It was Marble, speaking in public, and leaping to her sibling’s defense too.

Limestone gazed at Marble, that was the first time she’d ever spoken in public for a long time. Pinkie’s friends went after the mares, while Limestone was comforted by Maud, Marble, and Pinkie.

“Mom and dad said it wasn’t okay.” Limestone whispered

“I’ll handle them.” Maud told Limestone, not a shred of malice in her face but a determined air to her emotionless voice.

“Th-thank you…”

“It’s no trouble…” Pinkie told Limestone, smiling. “Brother.”

“Time...slowly...traces my face.” Limestone murmured. “But, strangely I feel at home in this place.”

--------------------------------------------

Ponies say you’re born to be who you are now. That your destiny is set from the day you take your first breath. Some creatures would rather change their destiny. Take a left where they’re supposed to go right. Forge a new path instead of taking the well-worn one. Well, then I guess I’m one of them. Because somewhere along the way in my story, I decided that instead of going around a boulder...that I was going to break it into dust.

I am Limestonian Demantoid Pie

Pronouns He/Him

Comments

[NightCoreMoon]

As far as the trans angle goes, I don't really see any problems with your depiction of gender identity struggles. Socially you're in the clear, as I can tell you're at least conscious of that angle judging by your author's note.

As far as the writing goes, you certainly have a grasp on grammar, syntax, usage, punctuation, spelling, all the building blocks. Character voice is accurate. The dialogue was easy to follow and I could tell who said what. The words themselves are perfectly fine. If you wanted any constructive criticism, it would be on things like pacing. You have a cohesive plot, which is more than I can say for a lot of people uploading on this website. It's fairly compelling as well and the resolution would be satisfying. However, there's not really any time to breathe; the text keeps racing along from event to event, I blink and we're on the farm and I blink again and we're in the park and I blink again and we're in a hotel and I blink again and we're in the park again. Now, your structure is fine, it actually follows a three act arc very well, but there wasn't time to just stop and smell the roses. Which is real unfortunate because what you have here is a great starting point.

I enjoy and appreciate what you tried to do here. You clearly know what you're doing and how to do it. For a songfic it's perfectly reasonable to enjoy it. I just wish there was a bit more padding to the meat. It left me wanting for more. This isn't bad, it's good, I just personally prefer longer, more detail-heavy and slower-paced fics like Fraternal. All in all, a pretty solid 9 with the potential for 10. Like Halo 3.

[Melody Song]

10279396
Thanks for the advice. I'll see what I can do about the pacing. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[forbloodysummer]

This was an interesting thought! One of the few things we know about Limestone, canonically, is that she harbours an enormous amount of anger. That has to have come from somewhere, and the combined frustration of the world not accepting her for who she is, and her body not reflecting who she is, would be a reasonable suggestion for its source.

I think, overall, I would have liked to see a little more 'Limestone' in this. Marble's always been the sad, vulnerable one of the bunch. Obviously Limestone is grappling with some huge issues here as best he can, and to break down is perfectly natural. But Limestone has always turned pain into anger, rather than expressing it directly as sadness. That's where her empowerment comes from, using her rage to get things done and bring about change. We've never, for example, seen her show the slightest interest in what anyone else thinks of her, or seen her need anypony else's approval. So while the need for parental acceptance is of course deep-seated, if there were anypony in Equestria were to say, "I am who I am, take it or leave it, I don't need you to agree in order for me to be content with that," then it'd be Limestone Pie.

Also I looked up the song in question, and that is... not... the genre or mood I'd associate with Limestone I think she'd be a little more...

Anyway, thanks for writing this We all need more Limestone in our lives, and this was a thoughtful take on a side of the character I hadn't really considered before. Yesterday I read a Chrysalis story and felt the urge to write more of that character, today I'm feeling I need to be writing more Limestone. Such are the creative winds of fimfiction

My use of pronouns here is very deliberate - when discussing Limestone as a character in the abstract, as a character who appears in canon and in many other stories, she's referred to as female. When discussed as the character specifically in this story, he's male.

[Melody Song]

10279725
Thanks for letting me know. Actually, my original thought for what song was The Village, but either way, I see where you're coming from. I'm not the best at writing aggressive and assertive characters like Limestone so I try to make them the best I can. I'm glad you enjoyed it and that it inspired you, though. Thanks for commenting!

[Commentpony]

I guess more details would've been nice, but it was a pretty good story. Have an upvote!

[YourUncleFuncle]

This was awesome! I loved this story, and it’s the best trans fic I’ve read in any universe. Keep it up, you’re a really good writer!

[Melody Song]

10296285
Oh, thanks I'm glad you like it

[Ice Star]

I have to agree with the comment here 10279725. Trans dude ponies are always a fantastic idea, trans dude Limestone is particularly excellent, and This is Home happens to be one of my favorite songs. However, I think you need to slow down with your pacing. Give each scene time to incorporate your ideas. Gender dysphoria is something that takes time to introduce to a reader, as do other sensitive issues. Here, you hit a lot of major points about it, but it came across in a way that zipped through everything. Slow down, work on fleshing out your dialogue scenes, and look at how other stories incorporate lyrics to improve fitting them seamlessly into your story. You have a clear ability to write well, and I'm sure your next stories will be even better the more you work at improving.

[Melody Song]

10479478
Thanks for the advice, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

[Ice Star]

10479484
Thank you for writing it! You have quite the library of interesting ideas, so I'll be sure to check out a few more of your stories when I can.

[Melody Song]

10479489
Well, I appreciate the support, thank you

[Winston]

Thanks for writing.

[Melody Song]

11512168
You're welcome! Thanks for reading!