• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2021

Twilight Star


Twilight and Luna: two mares made for each other

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When Trixie used a teleportation spell, she hoped to disappear away from Ponyville, but not go so far as to go to an alternate timeline. And in this alternative timeline, Nightmare Moon rules Equestria. As if that weren't the worst, Nightmare Moon ends up liking Trixie and wants her to stay in the castle to keep her company. Now, Trixie needs to find a way to return home. But will she really want to go back to the original Equestria, especially after being humiliated by Twilight?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

You should do more where Trixie ends up in all of the alternate timelines.

10203500
You know, I was thinking of adding more chapters to this story, but at the moment, I'm not sure. I'm going to blog about my thoughts on maybe writing more chapters for this story or else writing a sequel.

10203516
Either way, it would be funny to see Trixie try to find her way around in the discord timeline.

In just the first few paragraphs, this fanfic is really bad with telling us how Trixie feels, to the point where the narration repeats dialogue. For example:

“We like you the way you are. We are proud to have a talented unicorn like you,” Trixie didn’t like it at all because Applejack called Twilight talented.

Also, beginning two sentences in a row with "Twilight used her magic" sounds redundant.

10203521
I'm really sorry for the reluctant phrase at first, but I just corrected

I never knew I needed the origin story for how trixie became nightmare moon's student most faithful pupil before until I read this story.

now i only there was one for Starlight glimmer being cadance's student, due to her emotion-fueled magic.

10203746
I'm thinking of writing more chapters for this story, which will focus on Trixie and Nightmare Moon's loving growth, of course I will add the Romance tag if write

Comment posted by justheretoreadstories deleted Apr 28th, 2020

The story is okay, but there were too many grammar issues. I suggest taking an English course, then checking for errors.

Loved this, If you ever feel like it, I certainly wouldn't mind more!

*Only reads cap. Title* I' would say that she's enchantress

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